The room had a different smell this time. Not the scent of newly cleaned sheets, but a fragrance she instantly recognized. She treaded lightly over the plush navy blue carpet of his room, and inhaled Billy’s cologne which was still lingering in the air. She couldn’t mistake that smell for anything in the world, Drakkar Noir. It was her favorite brand of men’s cologne and he had always worn it for her. It had a rich amber scent, with a hint of leather, combined with the fresh scent of an ocean breeze on a warm Summer’s day.
Savannah closed her eyes and inhaled, savoring the moment, wishing it could last forever. She walked over to his bed and sat down, running her fingertips over the white sheets. She picked up his pillow and squeezed it tightly to her chest. Her body was exhausted. Her mind was exhausted. All she wanted to do was rest for a little while and pretend Billy was right next her, holding her and telling her what a fool he’d been for letting her go. Being in his bed was the only comforting thing she had left. So much for moving on with her life. One thought, or rather one sniff of Billy was all it took to bring her back to the same place she was so desperately trying to escape from. But, instead of causing her pain, she was now embracing the feeling of being in Billy’s bed. The thought of Billy holding her was the last thought she had before she fell asleep with her arms wrapped around his pillow.
Chapter Six
It was a quiet car ride to the physical therapist. Billy didn’t open his mouth to utter one word to his brother. He was far too angry to say anything. He didn’t know who he was more upset with, Travis for kissing Savannah, or himself for leaving her. All he wanted to do was punch something, maybe even someone. But, right now he settled for being mad at his brother for putting his lips so close to hers. He couldn’t wait to get back home. The only thing he wanted to do was be by himself. He could see there was a relationship between Savannah and Travis. It was as clear as day to him. No matter what his brother said about the two of them only being friends, it was easy for anyone to see the connection they had.
Travis broke the awkward silence in the enclosed space. “Are you going to sulk all the way to the doctor?”
Billy didn’t want to talk. Sometimes he didn’t even want to live. This was one of those times. The agony he’d been through in the last two weeks was pure Hell for him. Knowing Savannah was so near, but still so far and he did nothing to reconcile with her. He felt like a weak minded fool. A shell of the tough guy he once was. Never in a million years would he have ever lied on his back and given up on something so important to him. Yet, here he was, just handing Savannah over to his brother like a prized roast pig with an apple in her mouth waiting to be devoured.
“Billy!”
“What?! What the fuck do you want?!”
“What is your problem?! Ever since you’ve been home you’ve had a bad attitude. You don’t want to go anywhere, you spend most of your time in your room, and you snap at me for no reason. What the fuck?!”
Billy turned to his brother in the driver’s seat and spat out all the hatred he’d been holding in. “Let me see, I wonder why I’m like this. Maybe it’s because I have seen more death and destruction than I care to remember. Or maybe it’s because I no longer have complete control over my leg anymore. Or maybe it’s because my face is scarred for life and no one will ever look at me without cringing or feeling sorry for me. Or maybe I have a bad attitude because my brother, my own flesh and blood, stole the love of life right out from under me. Well you know what, you can fucking have her!”
Travis veered off to the side of the road and slammed on the brakes. Billy’s body gutted forward then back hard against the seat. If it weren’t for his seatbelt Billy would have gone through the windshield. “Are you fucking crazy Travis?!”
“No! You’re fucking crazy. Savannah is not a toy to pass around then put in the closet when you’re done playing with it. She’s a good woman and doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. You’re the one who told me to keep an eye on her.”
“That’s exactly what I said. Keep an eye on her, not put your fucking hands all over her!”
“First of all, my hands have never been all over her, and second of all don’t condemn me for doing something you asked me to do in the first place. So, if you want to be mad at someone, be mad at yourself. Stop taking your anger out on everyone else around you because if you’re not careful, you’re going to lose the one person who matters most to you and you’ll never be able to get her back.” Travis put the car in gear and sped off without another word.
Truth of the matter was, Billy was angry for so many things, but mostly he was upset with himself. He had hurt Savannah and practically gave his brother his blessing to move in on his girl. The only reason he broke up with her was because he didn’t want to break her heart. She would have definitely waited for him while he was away, and if he never returned to her she wouldn’t have been the same anymore. He thought he was doing the right thing by asking Travis to spend time with her to keep her occupied and from feeling lonely, but now, now he knew he’d made the wrong decision.
During the whole ride to the doctors they hadn’t said one word to each other. After Billy’s physical therapy appointment, Travis took him to the car dealership as he had promised. Billy picked out a black Nissan Altima and was all too happy that he wouldn’t have to ride back home in the same car with his brother. He was still cooling down from their argument earlier that afternoon, but he also needed some time alone to clear his head.
Billy had to get a hold of himself and his emotions. He wasn’t thinking straight, which was something he had to do every day while he was a soldier in the Army. Being Army strong wasn’t just a saying, it was a way of life for the many men and women who serve their country. There was no other alternative to be anything less. That’s exactly what Billy had to do now, be strong. He would have to channel his anger into something positive. He had to get Savannah back. He needed her to know how much he still loved her. The only question was how? How was he going to get her to listen to him? The hatred in her eyes when they locked gazes when he first came home that day at the picnic was apparent. He would have to come up with something fast. Fast and unconventional.
Billy pulled up in the driveway and Travis parked right behind him. As Billy got out Travis stood next to the car and slapped Billy on the back. He stuck out his hand for Billy to shake. “Truce.”
Billy exhaled deeply and shook his brother’s hand. “Truce.”
Billy walked into the house while Travis went to the mailbox. The house was quiet, a little too quiet for Billy’s liking. There was always something going on while he was deployed and quiet was a rare occurrence. He’d become so accustomed to the noise that he downloaded all kinds of sounds to his phone to play so he could fall asleep. His favorite was the sound of a helicopter’s whirling blades spinning around and around. That one always made him fall asleep the fastest.
Billy was so exhausted from therapy and the long drive. The pain in his leg was increasingly getting worse. The only thing he wanted to do was take his meds and throw himself onto his bed. When he got to the doorway of his room he stopped short, shocked at what he was seeing. He leaned on the door jamb, with his stomach in knots. The wind was temporarily knocked out of him. Savannah was laying on his bed with his pillow clutched tightly to her chest. She was so beautiful. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. Her dark tanned skin and bright red hair against the white sheets was nothing more than breathtaking.
Travis stood behind Billy whispering. “She does this all the time you know. She thinks no one knows, but I do. She’s done this since the day you left.”
Billy’s eyes began to sting. A lump formed in his throat making it difficult for him to speak. “Why?”
“Isn’t it obvious how much she still loves you? I know you’re not that dumb. Especially since it’s right there in front of you.”
A lone tear escaped his eye and streamed down his face. He wiped it away quickly before walking softly across the carpe
ted floor. How clueless had he been all these years? Only a fucking idiot would have thrown away what he and Savannah had shared.
He gently sat down at the foot of the bed and saw Savannah’s eyes flutter open. His heart beat sped up as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked up at Billy. She sat up with a start and scrambled backwards, putting her hands over her mouth, clearly shocked to him sitting there next to her. It seemed like forever before someone said anything. Savannah jumped off the bed and searched the floor for her shoes while she screamed at Travis who still stood in the doorway. “Why didn’t you call me before you came home like I asked you to?”
“I totally forgot. I’m sorry.”
Billy wanted to grab Savannah right there and tell her how much she meant to him, but considering she wasn’t in a good mood at the moment he decided now was not a good time. But he had to say something. Anything. “Savannah...”
Savannah stopped searching for her shoes. She looked up at Billy and being so close she could finally see the damage that had been done to his face. Her hand started to reach for him, but she quickly changed her mind and retracted it back. The look of disgust in her eyes hit Billy right in the gut. He never wanted any one to look at him like that, least of all Savannah. She found her shoes under the bed, but didn’t bother to put them on. She carried them in her hand and hurried to the door pushing Travis out of her way.
Billy tried to get off the bed but his leg wouldn’t let him. “Savannah, wait!” When he finally stood he yelled to her again. “Savannah, stop! I can’t run after you!”
She stopped at the front door, but didn’t turn around to him. Just as Billy reached the living room she went through the door without looking back.
“Savannah!” Billy was infuriated at his body for not being able to cooperate with what he wanted it to do. “Fuck!” He threw his cane across the room and broke a vase filled with flowers and water. The loud crash of the shattering glass hitting the floor was followed by the screeching sound of Savannah’s tires as she left.
Travis came running from their mother’s room. She was awakened by all the commotion and was worried that something terrible happened. Travis looked around the room seeing the broken glass and water all over the floor. “What the Hell happened in here?”
“I’ll clean it up.”
Travis went into the kitchen and grabbed some paper towels and the broom to clean up the mess. He bent down and started to soak up the water from the wood floor.
“Damn it Travis! I said I would clean it!”
“Why don’t you worry about reeling in your temper? You scared Mom and you scared Savannah off. She may never come back again, and you know what, it would be all your fault.” Travis stood with a dust pan full of glass and water soaked paper towels. He walked over to his brother and stood face to face with him. “When are you going to see how much she really loves you?”
“Since when are you such an expert on Savannah’s love for me?”
Travis’ patience with his brother was wearing thin and he couldn’t hide his feelings for Savannah any longer because he spat his next words at Billy like hateful daggers. “Since I have spent almost every minute of the last four fucking years listening to her talk about you all the time and telling me how much she loves you. Since I asked her to marry me because I fell in love with her, and she turned me down because I wasn’t you. Since I kissed her and all she could see was you. That’s how I know how much she loves you!”
Before Travis had a chance to react, Billy reached back, balled up his fist, and punched him hard in the nose, sending his brother flying across the room to land on the wood coffee table. The wood splintered under Travis’ weight as he crashed on top of it. Travis stared at his brother in complete shock. He held his hand up to his face before looking down at it. Blood poured from his nose into his mouth and onto his t-shirt. “Fuck! You broke my nose!”
Billy was enraged at the fact that his brother would be so deceitful and knowingly take the love of his life away from him. “I don’t care if you are my brother, if you touch her again, I’ll fucking kill you.” He wanted to take back the words as soon as they escaped his mouth. He knew deep down Travis wouldn’t hurt him on purpose, but he wasn’t thinking clearly at the moment. Right now he was seeing red, and even though he didn’t mean what he said, hearing Travis say he proposed and kissed Savannah felt as though he had been stabbed right through his heart. Betrayed by his own flesh and blood. He left his brother on the floor and stormed out of the house. He limped over to his car and careened around Travis’s car leaving tire marks all over the lawn. He reached into his pocket and opened his bottle of pain medication. He poured pills in his mouth and didn’t know how many he had taken, nor did he care. The only thing he wanted to do now was get Savannah back. Being so close to her made him realize that he never wanted to be away from her ever again. He only hoped it wouldn’t already be too late.
There was no other person to blame other than himself. If it weren’t for him asking Travis to watch over Savannah, none of this would have ever happened. The only problem now was the way he looked. He no longer had the handsome flawless face that girls swooned over. His skin was now marred with hideous scars from the burns he’d received. Why would Savannah want him now? He’d hurt her and now he couldn’t even win her back with his charm and good looks. He saw the look of disgust on her face when he sat on the bed next to her. He saw she wanted to touch his face and then recoiled at the sight of him.
Billy sped down the highway towards the lake. He didn’t know her exact address but he was sure her house wouldn’t be hard to find. There weren’t many houses along the lake. If he had to go door to door he’d find her. There was nothing standing in his way now and if Savannah was revolted by the sight of him for the rest of his life that would be something he would have to deal with. He only needed to tell her how he felt and get everything off his chest. Then he could make peace with her decision to never see him again.
Driving over the bridge to the lake made him think of their first night together. It was the first sexual experience for both of them. He’d felt so awkward and wanted her first time to be as special for her as it was to him. They had a picnic earlier in the day and later found a quiet place under a tree deep into the forest surrounding the lake, with the night sky covering their naked bodies from view. That had been the best night of his life. When he lay awake nights in Afghanistan that was the one memories that always kept him going.
Billy drove around the lake for twenty minutes lurking around people’s houses and in their driveways looking for Savannah’s car. One couldn’t mistake it from any other. Most people in town bought Jeeps or pick-up trucks because they were easier to drive on the dirt roads. But not Savannah, for her sixteenth birthday she picked out a gently used red Volkswagen bug. She called it her lady bug. He used to tease her all the time about it. One morning he bought some washable black paint and put big black dots all over her car before she woke. She thought it had been hilarious and actually drove around with her car like that for over a week. They’d always had so much fun together. Being best friends first had built a special bond between them and each comforted the other in a way that no one else came close to.
Finally, after forty-five minutes of driving around and hoping the neighbors wouldn’t call the cops on the weird guy scoping out all the houses like a thief in the night, he came to one of the older homes at the end of the lake. From the outside it looked like it could use some paint here and there, but it was nice. In the driveway was the little red Volkswagen he had been searching for. Billy’s heart began to pound. If it beat any harder, he was sure it would jump out of his chest. He was not only nervous, but completely terrified. Not because he was going to talk to Savannah, but because he was scared he was going to lose her for the rest of his life, and he would only have himself to blame.
The pain in his leg began to subside. Thankfully the medication he had taken was starting to take effect, otherwise he would be in really bad
shape. He cut off the engine and slowly got out of the car, not because he was in pain, but because he was now doubting his decision by coming to her house.
The walk over to her front door felt like it took hours to get there. Well, here goes nothing, he thought and banged the knocker against the wood door. No answer. He pounded on the door with his fist this time and even he could hear the echo of it from outside the house. He put his ear against the door to listen for any noise and heard the creaking of wood steps. He pounded on the door again and yelled for Savannah. “Savannah! Open the door! I know you’re in there!”
He stopped banging and put his ear to the door once more. There was still no answer. “Savannah, I know you’re here. Your car is in the driveway. Open the door.” Billy paused for a second. “Open the door before I break it down!”
He didn’t know if he could muster all the strength it would take to knock the door off its hinges, but if that’s what he had to do to get to Savannah, so be it. There would be no more what ifs or questioning his own feelings. There would be no more obstacles standing in his way. Now was the time to be Army strong. He had a mission to complete and that mission was to have Savannah back in his life. Nothing was going to interfere with that anymore.
“I’m going to count to three before I break down this door and it comes crashing to the ground. One! Two!...”
Chapter Seven
Savannah had seen Billy pull up in her driveway from the bedroom window. She tried to quietly walk down the stairs hoping that he would give up and leave. The creaking of the old wood stairs gave her away. Now, he was threatening to break her door down. He wouldn’t. He’s bluffing. He wouldn’t dare. Once she heard him start to count she began to panic. What if he did break the door down? Then what? What would I do then? From the other side of the door she heard Billy say the last number.
Field Stripped: 15 Steamy Military Romances Page 12
