Field Stripped: 15 Steamy Military Romances

by Marissa Dobson

  He watched her swallow and shake her head. “Logan, I can’t…”

  Logan smirked. “Can’t or won’t?”

  She looked into his eyes and said, “Can’t.”

  He grinned. “I’ll take my chances.” He leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to hers. He held her for a moment then lightly touched her cheek with his other hand. Miranda did kiss him back, this much he could tell. But would she kiss him again?

  Logan pulled back and stared into her eyes. He watched as her eyes danced back and forth, between the left and right of his eyes, then to his lips, then back to his eyes. He did not waste any more time. He cupped her face and leaned in and kissed her again; this time with more aggression.

  His tongue slid across her lips and she moaned softly into his mouth as hers opened. He felt her rigid body soften and melt against him. Her hands lifted and rested upon his chest. Logan pulled back and tilted his head the other way, then claimed her lips once again.

  A soft growl passed between them and Miranda gasped against his lips. She pressed against his chest and pushed space between them.

  “Logan, stop…I can’t…”

  He grinned. “Oh, but you did. And if I were a betting man, you will again. And soon.” When she blushed under the light of the parking lot, Logan chuckled. “Don’t worry, next time, I’ll leave it up to you to do the kissing.”

  “Then you’ll be waiting a long time.” She fished her car keys out of her purse and pressed the unlock button. Logan opened her door for her and she slid inside.

  “So I’ll see you at group later in the week? You know, to keep up appearances?” Logan grinned to her.

  She shook her head. “You better come and be in it, Logan. I do not give one-on-ones to just anyone.”

  “But you sure do kiss like you wanted to,” he told her as she shut her car door. He chuckled to the expression on her face and backed away. He grinned as he turned toward his bike and straddled the seat. He could still taste her in his mouth and damn if it didn’t make him hard. Absently, Logan rubbed the erection against his pants. He wanted more, and more of Miranda he would soon have.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Logan parked his bike and made his way inside the building. Stepping through the entrance of the group session door, he stood and took in the scenery. The meeting place hadn’t changed since Logan joined the support group. Same place, same faces, same building, same everything except one thing: the feelings he’d built toward Miranda. It might feel a bit animalistic, if anything, but he felt something.

  “I wonder if I tell her I pictured her the other night while with that chick...Amanda? If it would count for anything,” he sighed as he spoke out loud. “If anything, it would earn me a well-deserved slap in the face.”

  Men and women spoke casually amongst themselves, most likely of how they fell off this wagon, or jumped on that one. One of the women turned and looked his way, then smiled softly to herself. She pulled a small amount of blond hair behind her ears and her eyelashes batted softly. Her build was thin and her lips small slivers of flesh, lightly lined with a dark red color.

  She casually made her way over to him and smiled a little more. “Hi, I’m Sophie. I’ve seen you here before, but I’m not sure anyone actually knows who you are.”

  “Hi, Sophie. I personally made it my life’s mission to remain anonymous to everyone I meet.”

  She smiled. “And how’s that working out for you so far?”

  This woman didn’t miss a beat. Logan imagined her out at the bars, talking and dancing, grinding against him. Would he be into it? Most likely. But right now, this was about being here to save face with Miranda.

  “So far so good, I suppose. The name’s Logan. Nice to meet you,” he shook her hand firmly. “I’m not interested in getting to know anyone here. No offense intended, but different time or place, I would be happy to play this pick-up game.”

  Sophie blinked and her mouth held slightly agape. “Well, okay then.” She turned and found a seat across from him in the circle.

  Miranda came in shortly after and quickly made her way toward her desk in the room. She had her hair pulled into a ponytail, wore a pair of black leggings with a thigh-length red top. It fit to her body and to say she looked amazing did not cover it enough. Add on wedge sandals, the woman looked absolutely amazing.

  She set her belongs down and turned to face the room. She smiled and made quick eye contact with Logan. He noticed her skin flush slightly and he smirked in recognition. She cleared her throat and began.

  “Hello, everyone. My apologies on running a few minutes late. We will extend today’s session to allow for the full hour. Today’s meeting will involve self-destructive patterns and masking emotions.” She glanced around the room and Logan looked as well. Some were nodding their heads in understanding, a few looked as if they saw a ghost. Obviously this seemed to be a touchy subject. He then looked to Miranda and found her watching him.

  He raised a brow as if to suggest yes? She offered a soft smile but it did not reach her eyes, then lowered her gaze.

  “Some of the self-destructive patterns most commonly masked would be abuse, whether it was as a child, or as an adult. It could be a self-coping mechanism of alcohol, sex, drugs, or all three. When we use one or all of the three, the feeling gained, the momentary high, is what our body is yearning for. We need some sort of…”

  Logan began to tune her out and felt almost bored. He did not belong in this group session bullshit. He did not have a drinking or sex problem. He definitely did not have a drug problem. How do the people cope and make it in society was not his problem.

  “Logan, would you like to share today?” He looked up to the room staring at him, including Miranda.

  He cleared his throat and adjusted himself in his chair. “Share what, exactly,” he asked.

  “The mask you wear.”

  “I don’t wear masks. What you see is what you get.”

  Miranda nodded and crossed her legs in her chair. Damn she was beautiful. “Let’s discuss the bar fight that landed you here then.”

  His brows shot up in surprise. “You want to discuss that? What’s to discuss? My buddy’s girl came onto me. She followed me to the men’s room and pushed me into a stall. I fucked her in it and later, my buddy tried kicking my ass. Trust me when I say he did not win.”

  The room went into a murmur for a moment. He watched as Miranda sighed and tilted her head. “Do you not see the self-destructive pattern you’re putting yourself through?”

  “How do you mean?” he asked her.

  “If anytime you may feel a shard of guilt, emotions, or anything, do you feel you’re masking it with alcohol or maybe one-night stands?”

  He stared at her across the room and felt his pulse race. He did not want to have this conversation in front of strangers, more or less her. He rubbed his hands on his thighs for a moment.

  “Logan, you’re in a safe place here.”

  He stared at her across the room and shook his head. Feeling pissed did not begin to cover it. He opened up to her and let her in on some other issues in his life, she offered to be ‘his person,’ yet here she was, trying to call him out in front of people he did not know. What the hell was she playing?

  Logan stood and turned his back to the group. He began making his way toward the door when Miranda spoke up.

  “No, do not leave, I need you to hear me out, Logan. Do you feel afraid of what or how you’ll feel if you embrace these feelings? Do you feel afraid of being alone? Maybe the contact high received from the sex with strangers gives the five minutes of pure bliss to forget everything and everyone.”

  He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, then slowly released it. His hands clenched then released. He did not like this feeling of entrapment. He had been sliding along, going with the charade of being part of this group while she met with him on the side. She had no right to call him out like this.

  Come back to group. Be a part of this. I do not date who I help
.

  Bits and pieces of her words came back to him. Logan stared at the back wall but did not move or make an attempt to give her his attention. The rest of the group could go fuck themselves as far as he was concerned.

  “I do not mask anything with alcohol. I enjoy having sex with women. I do not use these as a fucking crutch to get through my fucking day.”

  “Logan--”

  “No, I’m not done.” He turned to face her and ignored everyone else. “I do not have issues. I am a goddamned U.S. Army soldier who has been to war far too many times to count. I have witnessed and performed acts I do not wish to think about. I do what I have to in order to survive. I am trained to go in, take out, rescue or kill whatever is in sight. Nothing is left to second guess. Second guess and it’s your ass on the line. Second guess and you take out your entire unit. Second guess, that will be the last thought you’ll ever fucking have.

  “When my wife was killed in a car wreck, a part of me died with her that day. A part of me that could never beg her to accept my apology for leaving her at home, leaving her behind.” He began coming back toward the circle and his aim was on Miranda. “After I buried her, some of her clothes were left unlaundered. I was left alone with those. When I smelled her perfume on her shirt, I fell apart right then. Right fucking then!

  “Almost immediately after that, I found out she had been having an affair behind my back while I was deployed!” His voice continued to rise as he closed the distance to a now standing Miranda. “Understand why I choose to drink and why I decide to fuck someone when I want to. Understand that when I’m left alone, I have fucking nightmares of war, of my wife, of the man fucking her while I watch! Understand that when I drink, when I fuck someone, when my mind is so busy in what I’m doing right then, in that moment, I do not think about her or war!”

  He watched as Miranda looked from one of his eyes to the other. She did not say anything, at first, but stood in silence. She slowly blinked and if she wore any trace of fear, it had been replaced with sorrow.

  “Logan,” she whispered softly and lifted her hand to his cheek. “I’m so sorry.” She paused and continued to stare into his eyes. In a softer voice for only him, “So many have been where you are, so many. But trust when I tell you, I am here for you and here to help. I will be your person, if you let me in.”

  Logan stared at her and his clenched fists slowly began to release and relax. He lowered his gaze, and his head. He paused quickly when he felt her hands touch his arms.

  What is she doing? he thought to himself, then realized, she was moving in to hug him. Did he want to be hugged? Maybe. Had anyone hugged him, or try to hold him to allow him the comfort of letting go? No, hardly.

  Logan let out a sigh and relaxed his body. Miranda wrapped her arms around his thick body and held onto him. If he were outside looking in, she would look like a midget hugging a giant. The thought almost made him chuckle.

  He relaxed his head against hers and inhaled her perfume. It smelled of vanilla and spice, almost of cinnamon. It was nice, he thought.

  Before he was ready for her to let go, she pulled away. She looked into his eyes and smiled. It reached her eyes and he couldn’t help but smile in return. “Feel free to wait outside. You’re done for today. I’m very proud of you. We will continue this once group is over, I promise. Do not leave.”

  He nodded and turned on his heel. He did not lift his gaze to anyone else, he did not care what they thought, nor what they would do with this information. Walking outside the room, Logan rested his back against the wall, then slid down to the floor. He rested his forearms on his knees and allowed his neck to relax. He stared at the floor for a moment and internally scolded himself for letting go in the room.

  Do you not see the self-destructive pattern you’re putting yourself through?

  Do you feel afraid of what or how you’ll feel if you embrace these feelings?

  Do you feel afraid of being alone?

  Maybe the contact high received from the sex with strangers gives the five minutes of pure bliss to forget everything and everyone.

  “What the fuck did she do to me?” he asked himself. “Goddammit, if I were not fucked up enough already…” his words trailed off and soon, the group session ended. Everyone left the room, a few nodded to him on the floor. Sophie walked by him then stopped in the hallway. She back stepped enough to stand directly in front of him.

  He looked up to her and raised his brows. “What is it?”

  She shrugged. “You did good, kid. You did good.” She motioned with her head back toward the room. “She’s alone in there. Go get her. It was obvious to all of us how you feel, if not to yourself.”

  “What do you mean?” he asked as he got to his feet.

  “Look, some are here for the same reasons you are, but not everyone will find that connection with someone to be able to share shit with. Go. She’s barely holding it together so go in there. She needs you as much as you need her.”

  He stared at Sophie for a moment and tilted his head. “And what makes you think this?”

  She smiled. “Because I’m not technically a person she’s treating. I’m one of her mentors. I’m here to see how she was coming along and with what I saw today, she’s obviously made some kind of impact on you.”

  Logan raised his brows. “You…when you…seriously?”

  She laughed and nodded. “Yep. And go. Don’t worry, whatever sessions you’re having with her outside of group are working.”

  “Wait, you know about that?”

  “Of course, I do! She could lose her practice if I didn’t.” Sophie smiled. “Don’t worry, it’s all well. She won’t get into trouble. She would only get in trouble if she were sleeping with you or dating you, then giving you a clean bill of health without actually doing anything.”

  Logan was at a loss for words. He had no idea his one-on-one sessions had been shared. He felt almost put back. He shook his head. “I didn’t realize she was sharing anything about me with anyone.”

  “She didn’t, she only let me know she was meeting with you on a one-on-one basis, but nothing more. She does not treat and tell.” Sophie winked.

  “Is that supposed to be a joke?”

  She shrugged. “Only if you found it funny.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess. Well,” he glanced to the room.

  “Go. I wish you luck, Logan. You’re in good hands.” She patted his arm, then left the hallway.

  Logan watched Sophie walk away and stood there, still stunned. He eventually turned back toward the room and stood in the doorway. He watched Miranda pull her belongings together and when she turned to face him, she froze.

  Neither of them said anything. It was Miranda who broke eye contact first. She glanced to the floor, then back to him and spoke.

  “Logan, are you all right?”

  He shrugged. “Dunno, but I will be in time.”

  She smiled softly and lowered her gaze again. “I needed you to do this today. I needed you to speak out and address everything. I needed you--”

  He held his hand up. “Stop, just stop. Did you do this for a purpose?”

  She nodded and kept her gaze to the floor. “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I needed to prove you were getting somewhere with me, other than one-on-one sessions. Honestly,” she glanced up to him, “I did not expect what happened.” She smiled softly. “I told you already, but I’ll tell you again, and as many times as it takes until you believe me. I’m very proud of you. What you did today took a lot of bravery and guts. You did it though. You stepped forward and admitted what haunts you, what bothers you the most. All you, Logan, just you.”

  He lowered his gaze this time and sighed. “I…yeah, I guess.”

  “No, Logan, look at me.”

  He raised his eyes and met hers. The concern, the sorrow, everything he saw in her earlier, it was all there, but there was also something else. Respect. Maybe appreciation. Possibly something deeper but
he was not ready to face that quite yet.

  “You shared a lot today, more so than in our one-on-ones. You needed this today to get you started.”

  “Started? Hell, woman, I thought I was coming toward the end of this.”

  She smiled and shook her head. “You’re only coming upon the crest of what makes you weak, Logan. Embrace it and know that in time, it will begin to subside. Pain, of any kind, will always be there. Anyone who tells you eventually it’ll pass has no idea what they’re talking about. Pain never goes away, Logan. In time, we begin to grow accustomed to how it feels and learn to cope around it. In time, the pain becomes numb, but it’ll always be there.

  “What we need as humans to cope is having someone we know who is always there for us. We need someone we can count on to be there in times of need. I am that person for you, Logan. Allow me inside and I promise, you’ll come out even better.”

  “Or what, I can’t be a dick anymore? What’s the fun in that?”

  Miranda blinked, then she smiled. “Nice, Logan.”

  He shrugged. “Right. Well, I appreciate what you’ve done for me. In all seriousness now, how much longer do we need to meet like this?”

  She stared at him for a moment, then set her briefcase on the counter. She opened it and pulled out her calendar planner.

  Logan chuckled. “What I mean is, if you’re going to be my person, I want more than just talks and this emptiness inside.” He approached her and took the calendar from her hands and set it down. “I need more from you, Miranda. How many more sessions do I have until we can pursue that?”

  She blinked, then a rush of breath left her lungs. Her skin blushed and she tugged a few strands of hair behind her ear. “I…I’m not sure.”

  “All right, I’m telling you right now, when this is over, we’re not. If you want to continue helping me, we’re going to get to know each other a lot more personally.”

  She slowly nodded. “And what makes you think that is what I want?”

  He stepped closer to her and lightly touched her cheek. “The park, you kissed me back, you know. I also see the effect I’m having on you. I can see the way your body reacts to mine. Trust me, it doesn’t go unnoticed.” He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. He moved his lips closer to her ear and gently kissed her lobe. “How much longer?”