Helios

by Marian Tee

  Chapter Three

  “Hey, Mr. Sunshine.” Jaike Hepburn’s tone was cheerful but puzzled at the same time when she realized who her unexpected visitor was. When Helios Andreadis didn’t even roll his eyes at the term she had used, Jaike had her first inkling that something was seriously wrong.

  “I’m sorry for the mess,” she continued after a beat when her guest didn’t show any signs of speaking. She gestured to the half-painted walls of the kitchen with the paintbrush she was holding.

  Closing the door behind him, Helios murmured, “I should be the one to apologize for the intrusion.” He followed Jaike into the room, and despite the emptiness that was steadily growing inside him, Helios still couldn’t help but be amused at the picture Jaike presented.

  Jaike happened to be engaged to a man who was heir to not one but two billion-dollar fortunes and yet here she was, busy with DIY remodeling. It was just one of the many things that made Derek Christopoulos’ fiancée intriguing.

  Used to Helios’ mercurial ways, Jaike asked, “Are you here for Derek?”

  “No.”

  “Oh. Umm…then make yourself at home. There’s beer in the fridge and some cheese and salad, too, if you’re hungry.” She thought about asking Helios why he was here but decided against it. Instead, she went back to painting the walls, giving Helios time to decide when he was ready to talk.

  Jaike’s unassuming silence somewhat helped in calming the tornado of unease that was raging inside him. MJ’s last words had gutted him, and he had found himself driving aimlessly for hours. He had always been the type of man to know what he wanted to do with his life, but MJ’s desire to be free from him had taken Helios by surprise.

  It had left him lost and directionless, unable to see the point of living until the next day.

  After taking a seat on one of the stools before the breakfast counter, Helios looked up to find Jaike peeking at him over her shoulder. When she realized he had caught her looking, she flushed and asked awkwardly, “Are you okay?”

  He heard himself saying, “As good as someone who had just been dumped can be.”

  “Oh, Helios.” Jaike immediately stopped painting and went to the younger man, reaching over the counter to pat him on the shoulder. In many ways, she was like Helios Andreadis, with his dislike to reveal any kind of emotion. But the naked pain in Helios’ tone had been so raw it made Jaike want to comfort Derek’s friend even though she wasn’t sure how.

  Knowing Jaike meant well, Helios didn’t bother telling Derek’s fiancée that she was painting his shirt another color in her attempt to comfort him. Looking down at her, Helios found himself observing Jaike’s notoriously bad sense of fashion. Overalls nowadays tended to be skimpy and made women look sexy, but on Jaike, she had somehow managed to appear like Mario and Luigi’s long-lost sister instead. And a nerdy one at that, with her large eyeglasses constantly falling over her nose.

  Men who were blinded by superficial things would probably call Jaike ‘ordinary’, Helios thought. Thankfully, Derek Christopoulos hadn’t been that kind of man. In that sense, he and Helios were the same. Once, he had allowed himself to be fooled by the likes of Odessa, whose beauty hid a distasteful personality. But he had learned his lesson, and that kind of beauty now left him cold.

  It was a running joke in the club how Derek had fallen for Jaike faster than the maximum speed of a 10cc Dodge Tomahawk. Derek had supposedly taken one look at Jaike, knew she was the girl for him, and had done everything to win her heart.

  If only Helios had the smarts to be like Derek in that sense, too.

  When Jaike pulled back, he said abruptly, “I need your help. I’d like to ask your opinion about something, if you don’t mind.”

  Knowing how difficult that was for someone like Helios to say, Jaike said right away, “Ask me anything.”

  “When Derek…” Helios’ voice trailed off. Damn, was it fair to Jaike and Derek to rake up hurtful old memories just so he could figure out what to do with MJ?

  When Helios stopped speaking, she had no trouble guessing the reason for it. Appreciating Helios’ thoughtfulness, she said gently, “Do you mean to talk about the time Derek was supposed to have cheated on me?”

  He gave her a wary look. It was a well-known fact in the entire university that Derek had cheated on her.

  The look Helios gave her tempted Jaike to smile. The old Helios wouldn’t have been as sensitive. He would have just gone right ahead and asked what he wanted to ask, tact and discretion be damned. MJ had really changed him, Jaike thought wistfully.

  Heading back to her half-painted wall, she squatted down and as she dumped the brush into the can of paint, she said, “You can ask me anything about that time. It’s really okay.” Jaike didn’t look at Helios as she spoke, thinking this would make it easier for the President of the Afxisi to bare his soul.

  “When it happened…was it like…the greatest betrayal Derek could have done to you?”

  She answered simply, “Yes.”

  Helios’ fists clenched on the counter as he asked his next question. “If someone had done the same thing to another girl…something as hurtful…someone who wasn’t as…nice as Derek…” He inhaled sharply. “Would you think it’s better for the guy to give up? To simply walk away so that the girl could have the chance to be cherished by a better man?”

  Jaike did her best to imagine a life without Derek. The man who loved her the most, and – once upon a time – the man who had also hurt her the most. “I suppose…I could have had a simpler life with another man if Derek hadn’t tried to get me back. A normal life,” she continued, unaware of how her unwitting choice of words made her guest flinch.

  “I think…if he had chosen to give me up because he “loves” me, I would probably eventually find some other guy to love. But…” She bit her lip. “There’d always be a part of me that wouldn’t believe him. Because if he really loved me, he should have at least tried to fight for me. He should have given me the chance to say ‘no’.”

  She turned to Helios, and for one moment, the poignant smile that had formed on her lips reminded him so much of MJ his heart constricted at the sight of it.

  “You see, Helios, I’ve always known I’m an ordinary girl. If Derek had told me he wouldn’t come after me because he loved me too much, a part of me would think it was because I was too ordinary for him. That I’m not worth getting back.” She cocked her head to the side as she dealt him a questioning glance. “Do you want MJ to think the same?”

  And with those words, Helios’ life regained direction.

  Now, he knew that where MJ was, that was where his life was supposed to lead.

  Behind Helios, a doorknob rattled before they heard the door swinging open. There was a second’s pause before someone said in a half-dry, half-irritable tone, “I swear to God, Helios Andreadis, if you are hitting on my girl, you are dead.”

  Chapter Four

  “Did you see the note on the board?” MJ’s next-door neighbor in the dorm, Katya Vlahos, asked when MJ entered the common room. Katya was also in her freshmen year, but that was basically the only thing they had in common. It was a well-known fact that Katya was an heiress, had a loving family back home, and hated Greek men with a passion.

  MJ shook her head as she threw herself on the vacant space on the couch next to Katya. “Nope. Why? What’s it about?”

  “The R.A. wants you.”

  She shot up in her seat. “What? Millie? Why?”

  Katya looked up from painting her toenails. “I don’t know. It just says so on the board.”

  MJ got to her feet with a sigh. “I better check what it’s about.” One of the conditions to getting free boarding in the dorm was playing sidekick to the R.A., a senior Economics student who occupied the sole bedroom on the ground floor. She couldn’t figure out why Millie would post a memo on the board about her when she could have just as easily texted MJ. It boded something ill, and the thought had her hurrying down the stairs.

  She t
ried to calm her racing heartbeat when she knocked on the R.A.’s door. “Millie?” She tried the knob, found the door open, and stepped inside like she usually did. R.A.s always had an open door policy.

  Unlike MJ’s tiny room, Millie’s was basically a suite, with a small living room and a private bedroom. Crossing the living room to get to the bedroom door, MJ knocked again. “Millie?” She tried the knob again and found it unlocked.

  The first thing she saw was a pair of bare feet. Too large to belong to any girl.

  Naked legs then a small white towel wrapped around muscular hips.

  To-die-for abs.

  MJ’s head slowly lifted.

  “H-Helios?”

  She couldn’t believe it was him, so much so that she rubbed her eyes repeatedly. Was this a Helios Andreadis withdrawal symptom? It had been a week since she last saw him, and maybe this was her heart’s way of telling MJ that it couldn’t really exist without seeing Helios for long periods of time.

  MJ held her breath when she opened her eyes.

  He was still there.

  Helios was still there, and oh, her heart. It was starting to race and ache at the same time again. She pressed a hand against her chest, hard, hoping it was enough to calm her heart down. Why was it that every time she looked at Helios Andreadis, she wanted to cry and smile at the same time? It was like looking at a dying sun. Her life would end when it stopped shining, but at the same time, all she could think of were the best memories she had with it.

  Helios kept himself still, afraid to do anything that might cause her to run away. Looking at her, he thought of how young she was and how much she had already endured in so little time. Ever since he found out about her past, there hadn’t been a night when he hadn’t castigated himself for making her feel like she had to earn his love.

  “Y-you cut your hair.” MJ’s words, tinged with confusion, had him looking up.

  Seeing her wide-eyed gaze made Helios feel self-conscious about his newly shorn hair, and he touched the neatly shaved sides of his hair gingerly. “Looks bad?”

  “N-no, but…” MJ dug her fingers into her palms, the only way she could prevent herself from reaching out to touch his hair as well. “Why did you have it cut?”

  Ah. It seemed that Yuri hadn’t told her everything about him then. He said lightly, “It just felt like it was time.”

  “I…see.” She touched her chest again, hoping her heart would be a lot calmer now, but it wasn’t. She glanced down and caught sight of a pair of pink bedroom slippers. A gasp spilled past her lips as MJ remembered exactly where they were. “Where’s M-Millie?” Oh God, she would die if this meant Helios and Millie had hooked up. Without thinking, she rose to her toes, trying to see past Helios.

  It took a while for Helios to catch on. When he did, he didn’t know if he was furious or exasperated. “Are you serious, brat?” He grabbed her shoulders and gave her one good shake so MJ would look at him. “I love you. Why the hell would you think I’d be interested in another woman?”

  “I…” She had no idea what to say. She was still reeling from hearing Helios saying those three words with such ease.

  The look of stunned disbelief in her gaze made him grit out again, “I love you. I love you, MJ Cartwright. I love you, brat.”

  Her heartbeat had raced so fast at his words her mind couldn’t keep up with it. All she knew was that hearing Helios say he loved her wasn’t going to help her move on.

  Her silence was killing him, and he said tautly, “Say something.”

  A hysterical laugh threatened to escape her. Say something? He was the most taciturn man she had ever met, the kind of man who would rather walk barefoot on burning coal and swim in a pool of lava than say something emotional. And here he was, telling her “I love you” repeatedly.

  He was the man who could take her to heaven and hell with just one kiss, the man who she had so stupidly risked her life for because she wanted to prove to him that she loved him. She would be the world’s greatest fool to believe him now, right? It was just his guilt talking, his honor and conscience forcing him to make it up to her.

  She squeezed her eyes shut. It was the only way to concentrate. Taking several deep breaths, she prayed to God that the first thing she said had nothing to do with those three words.

  “MJ—”

  “Have you been working out?”

  Oh. God. Oh. God. Oh Gooooood. Come on. Why do you have to answer my prayer like that?

  It took another full second for Helios to understand what MJ was saying. He didn’t think he had lost a couple of IQ points along the way since MJ had left him. It was only because the things she was saying were so completely unpredictable—

  The realization of why MJ had said those words hit him.

  Drowning in horrified embarrassment at what she had let slip, MJ slowly opened her eyes to peek at Helios’ reaction and saw a grin tug on his beautiful lips as he murmured, “You noticed?”

  She lied automatically, “Nope.” But of course she did. She knew every inch of his skin very well, and he had definitely bulked up. He had been on the leaner side before, but now his muscles were more defined.

  “Liar.”

  The sexy teasing note in Helios’ voice made alarm bells ring inside her head. Oh no, they were definitely heading to dangerous territory if she allowed this – this thing between them – to go on. Without looking at him, she muttered, “I’ll just come back when Millie’s here.” She tried to twist away from his hold, but his grip on her shoulders remained firm.

  At MJ’s words, Helios knew it was time to let MJ know of his plan. “Millie’s not coming back.” He allowed that to sink in before saying quietly, “I’m the new R.A.”

  Helios was…what?

  MJ’s head jerked up. “You can’t be serious,” she choked out.

  This time, there was no smile on Helios’ face. He was completely serious, and his tone matched it as he said, “You said you wanted a normal life. You said you wanted a normal guy to love you – and a normal guy for you to love.”

  MJ shook her head slowly. “I don’t get it…”

  He gestured to the room. “This is me, being normal. I’m no longer the President of the Afxisi.”

  She paled at his words, her gaze incredulous as she sought for a clue from the hard expression on Helios’ gorgeous face. Afxisi was his life. Did he really mean what he had just said?

  Understanding the doubt clouding her expression, Helios said fiercely, “It was the only way for me to show you that I’m willing to give up everything for you. I mean it when I said I miss you and that I want you back. That I need you back.”

  For a moment, memories of the past threatened to weigh him down, threatened to drown him with terror of being hurt again.

  For a moment, he vividly remembered Herod and Odessa talking about the kind of fool he had become because of love.

  But in the midst of the darkness, a spark of light flickered, and reflected on its flame was MJ’s face. A bravely smiling MJ who, after being rejected by Helios as his date, still hadn’t had a single bad thing to say about him.

  She’s the kind of girl who loves her guy enough not to walk out like any sensible girl would when an asshole like you shames her in public.

  The words tore the chains to his ugly past, allowing Helios to break free. When he looked at MJ, tears were running down her face, and the sight of it ravaged him. Why couldn’t he stop making her cry? What the fuck did he have to do to stop being the reason for her tears?

  MJ whispered, “Why are you doing this to me, Helios?”

  “Because I love you.”

  “You don’t.”

  “Yes. I do. And I’ll prove it to you. If you want a normal guy, I’ll be that guy for you. I’ll be whatever you want me to be, MJ, because you and me, we can be as normal as we can be, but the love we have—”

  She started to protest, but he shook his head. “Yes, MJ. The love we have. It’s never been the normal kind of love. It’s a once-in-a-l
ifetime thing, an extraordinary love, and that’s what I’m fighting for. I’ve been all kinds of a fool in the past, and my stupid mistakes made you lose faith in it. But I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll find a way to make you believe again.”

  Helios cupped her face. “I’ll make you fall in love with me as a normal guy, MJ. Because you and I, we’re meant to be together. Whether I’m normal. Whether I’m the President of the Afxisi. Whether I’m fucked up. You were always meant to save me, MJ. Falling for you was the only way to make me realize what I’ve always been missing and now that I know, I won’t let it go.”

  Chapter Five

  “What’s up, MJ?” Yuri greeted her cheerfully the moment she came out of her class. Yuri wasn’t alone, either. Together with him were the other officers of the club, the wickedly charming Kellion Argyros and bad boy Andreus Economou.

  Crowds of girls had gathered around them, near enough for MJ to hear their giggles and whispers but not so near they were within touching distance. Unlike other bike racing clubs, the Afxisi did not like being surrounded by groupies all the time. They took their privacy very seriously, and only the chosen few were privileged to be invited to their headquarters.

  The chosen few being those who were lucky enough to play housekeeper to the club’s members, MJ thought ruefully, remembering the days she had spent in the club’s HQ. “Why are you guys here?”

  “We thought we’d walk you back to your dorm,” Kellion said in a gallant voice. “You can’t have too many escorts, right?”

  MJ rolled her eyes. “I don’t need an escort.”

  Over her head, the three men exchanged looks. It appeared that Helios had not yet let MJ know of the danger she was facing, which was also one of the major reasons why Helios had chosen to work as an R.A. in her dorm.

  “You’re right,” Andreus said. “The truth is, we just want to have an excuse to drop by and see how Helios is doing as an 'ordinary guy'.”

  A blush stole over her cheeks at the Afxisi treasurer’s words. “You know about that?”