Strike to the Heart

by Malia Mallory

  I spread the ropes and climbed into the ring. This gym focused on boxing, but it suited me for now. The whole point of working with Paulie was to focus on my footwork. My feet were like lead lately. I needed to get my head on straight before I got it knocked off.

  Paulie led with a feint to the left. I bobbed and we danced around one another. He threw punches and I ducked and shuffled.

  I heard the door open but I didn’t look. Paulie managed to get under my guard and landed a punch on my jaw. I retaliated with a hook.

  Paulie laughed and backed away. “I think someone’s here to see you.”

  I turned around. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Jo was standing right there. Elation swept through me. I never thought she’d seek me out. I figured I’d have to go see her.

  Jo looked gorgeous as ever, clean and fresh, while I probably smelled like old dirty socks and stale sweat.

  “Hi Zane.”

  I couldn’t think of anything charming to say, so I went with stupid instead. “What brings you to the neighborhood?”

  “I called your agent. He let me know where you were.”

  “That seems like a lot of trouble to go to.” My heart raced.

  “No trouble.” Jo shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

  I climbed out of the ring. I wanted to grab her and hold her so tight she’d never leave, but I didn’t. I wanted to spill my guts, but I couldn’t.

  Jo moved closer. “I was in town, so I thought I’d drop by and say hi.”

  My throat felt tight.

  “So, hi.”

  After a moment, I finally managed to speak again. “It’s good to see you.” I tried to choose my words carefully, but I didn’t know the right ones. “I’ve missed you.”

  “If you missed me, why didn’t you call?” Jo challenged.

  Anger rose within me. “Why didn’t I call? You left. You left without a word.”

  “I didn’t leave without a word. We talked about it.”

  “You needed time.”

  Jo nodded and shrugged her shoulders. I couldn’t tell if that was agreement or indifference. “So … you’re getting ready.”

  “Yeah. I have a lot of work to do.”

  “Oh, I don’t want to keep you from your training.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant in general. I’m happy to see you.” I wanted to repeat it until she believed it.

  ~ * ~ * ~

  Jo

  Sheer nerve had carried me to the gym, but it seemed to desert me now. Zane was clad in shorts. His chest shone with sweat. He had a cut above one eye and a nasty looking bruise on his shoulder. To me, he looked wonderful.

  I ached to touch Zane, but I didn’t move. “You got cut.”

  “Yeah, bound to get a few bumps during training. It’s nothing compared to the real thing.”

  The breath left my body as I was forcibly reminded of what Zane actually did. I knew. I knew he was a fighter. I knew he could be injured. He probably would get injured. I doubted anyone left an event like that unscathed. What was I doing? What was I thinking? I couldn’t do this. How could I have not learned this lesson yet?

  When I watched Alex race, it hadn’t been the least bit enjoyable. I’d spent the entire time with my heart in my throat. I couldn’t go through my life wondering what the hell might happen to Zane from moment to moment. That was even assuming he had any interest in me anymore at all.

  ~ * ~ * ~

  Zane

  Jo bit her lip. “Well, I wanted to stop by. I wanted to tell you I was sorry about how everything went. I didn’t mean for it to be quite that way. So, I’m sorry.”

  I couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t here because she wanted to see me at all. She was here for some kind of closure she needed for herself. A lead weight settled in my chest. I searched for the words that might change her mind. The only ones I could find were, “I love you, Jo.”

  Her eyes widened, but she didn’t say a word.

  “I love you, Jo.” The words tripped off my tongue more easily this time. “Stay. Give us a chance.”

  “I—” Jo swallowed. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

  “Why are you here? Why did you come here?” Anger seeped into my voice.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, maybe you should come back when you figure it out.” I turned my back on her and walked away. I didn’t stop walking until I heard the echo of the door opening. When it clicked shut, I knew she was gone.

  Chapter 12

  Jo

  The new housekeeper opened the door. I didn’t know her name, but she obviously knew me.

  “Your mother is in the library.” The woman had a pleasant smile, but her manner was reserved, as my mother preferred.

  I almost rolled my eyes. The library. It was an office where my father used to work when he brought things home. When I saw it last, my mother hadn’t changed a thing since my father’s death. I suppose you could get away with calling it a library. The whole apartment was like that—stuffy and formal. White walls. Crown molding. Furniture that didn’t look like you should sit on it.

  The thick carpet muffled my steps. I peeked in the doorway. My mother was arranging flowers in a vase. I was glad she didn’t go for the fake stuff because that was just tacky. I knew one of her disappointments was that I hadn’t inherited her sense of style.

  “Mom?”

  She turned, and a genuine smile of welcome appeared on her face. “Jo, you didn’t tell me you were coming.”

  “I had a doctor’s appointment.” I’d spent a week in the Hamptons, but it hadn’t done much to clear my mind.

  A cloud passed over my mother’s face. “What did he have to say?”

  “Ankle’s good. No permanent damage. He suggested I baby it a bit longer and start with light stretching.”

  “That is such good news. I’m so relieved. Will you play in the China Open?” my mother asked.

  “No, it’s too soon. Season ends in November, so I’m going to rest up and then train hard for the Australian Open. I’ll play in Brisbane as a warm-up.”

  “Your sister’s going to Stanford.”

  A smile split my face. “She is? That’s terrific. Miri must be so excited.” Stanford’s tennis program was excellent. Miri loved tennis like I did, but I knew she wanted to pursue her academics as well.

  My mother smiled. “She’s over the moon. It’s what she wanted.”

  I’d gone a different route than my sister, hitting the junior tournaments and trying to qualify for major events as soon as I met the age requirements. When I wasn’t at the tennis academy, I’d fit in schooling with a tutor. My mother hadn’t thought it was healthy for a teenager to travel and play so much. She worried about the stress, but I’d been insistent and my father had supported me.

  My sister was a good player, but she also loved to study and learn. Though she was talented, she limited her play to a few tournaments.

  “If you win in Australia, will that make you number one?”

  I shrugged. “Probably not. I’ll miss too many tournaments with this ankle.”

  “That’s true, but a win at the US Open.” My mother looked wistful. “I wish your father could have seen it. He would have been so proud.”

  “Yeah.” As a test pilot, my father was a risk taker, and I suppose I got my guts from him. He could have stayed in the office, but he wasn’t content to do that.

  “Are you ever sorry you let him continue test flights?” I asked.

  “Let him? No one let your father do anything. He was his own man.”

  “I know it upset you that he wouldn’t give it up.”

  Surprise crossed my mother’s face. “I thought I did a better job of keeping it to myself. I never asked him to give it up. It wouldn’t have been fair. It was something he enjoyed so much.”

  “But look what happened. If he hadn’t been so reckless, he’d still be here.” Grief took root in my chest, as sharp as the day we’d received the news that my father had died.
He hadn’t needed to do the testing himself. He was the boss, but he loved the hands-on thrill.

  In a rare show of physical affection, my mother pulled me into her arms. “We don’t know that, Jo. If it hadn’t been that, it might have been something else. If I had tried to change him, it would have broken something between us. I never let him know how much it pained me.”

  I pulled away. “If you had tried, you could have made him stop.” Anger clawed its way up my throat. I’d never realized how much I blamed my mother for his death.

  My mother shook her head sadly. “It was part of who he was. That daring, reckless side of him was part of why I loved him. He made everything … exciting. I wasn’t going to change him. I didn’t want to change him. I just wanted to love him.”

  “But now you’re alone.”

  “I’m not alone. I have two beautiful daughters and a heart’s worth of memories. I have friends. I do my charity work. You’re making it sound like I’m pining away in a dark room.”

  “You could have had so much more time together.”

  “There is never a guarantee. Never. People get sick. People have accidents. Life happens.”

  “But—”

  “It was worth it,” my mother said quietly. “It was worth it to me. I’d rather have had him for the time I did than another for a lifetime.”

  “It hurt you. I know it did.”

  “Yes, sometimes it was like slicing a little piece of my heart away. But Jo, he made my whole heart bigger. It could lose a few bits. Besides, what choice did I have? I loved him.”

  I turned away and swallowed hard.

  “This is about that man, isn’t it? I wish now I’d been more welcoming. I know Alex bruised your heart. All you did for him. All the love you gave him. He should have treasured you like the jewel you are.”

  “I think you might be biased, Mom.”

  “Maybe. But you’re a beautiful, successful woman. He didn’t respect that.”

  She was right about that. Alex always wanted me to come to his races, even if it meant dropping out of a tournament. If I didn’t make it, he wasn’t exactly understanding. When he attended Wimbledon, it was more about seeing and being seen than my playing.

  Alex and I had played tennis together exactly once. He’d lost and had been incensed. I still didn’t understand how he could have expected otherwise. Tennis was my profession. I wouldn’t have expected to beat him in a car race.

  Lately, I’d been seeing that relationship in a different light. The things I’d liked about Alex at first, his charm, his success, had turned into vanity and arrogance.

  Zane wasn’t like that. The words echoed around in my head. Zane wasn’t like that. He’d never demanded anything. Hell, I’d never even given him a chance to make a request. I’d been on the defensive the whole time we’d spent together, but he’d just carried on.

  Zane loved me.

  I know he’d said it and he’d shown it in so many ways, but it hadn’t sunk in. It hadn’t really sunk in.

  My mother stroked my cheek gently. “Do you love him? That Zane Ryan?”

  “I think I do.”

  “Then don’t let anything come between you. Nothing is more important. Don’t let love slip away foolishly.”

  The world shifted and my body shook. My mother was right. I was a fool to walk away from Zane.

  Chapter 13

  Jo

  Parking was a nightmare. The entire lot was packed. After driving around for a few minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t be so close and keep waiting. I drove up to the building and stopped in a clearly marked no-parking zone. I hopped out of the car and a uniformed man approached. “Miss. Miss, you can’t park there!”

  I ignored him and kept walking. What was the worst that could happen? It was a rental. If it was towed, they’d bill me and I’d pay it.

  I passed through the entrance and showed my ticket at the turnstile. Five thousand dollars from a scalper, and I was lucky to get it. I had no idea so much money was involved in MMA. That kind of cash would get you tickets for the full two weeks at the US Open. Nice seats, too.

  I continued through the concrete entrance into the seating area. The din was deafening. I kept walking, down, down, closer to the center. I wasn’t sure what to do. I wanted to catch Zane’s attention, but I didn’t want to distract him. What if he didn’t want to see me?

  “Clear the aisle, ma’am.”

  I was going to my seat. I was going to sit and I was going to watch. I loved Zane and this was part of his life. I needed to know if I could do this.

  My seat was near the front. I pushed my way through the aisle, stepping on a few toes. People spread to make room as I reached my spot. I’d avoided looking, but now I did.

  Zane and his opponent circled each other in the cage. Zane threw a left and the fighter moved to block Zane. Who was this guy? I turned to the person next to me. “Who’s Ryan fighting?”

  The guy looked at me as if I had two heads. “Johnson? It’s their rematch.”

  I nodded. “Ummm, not to bug you, but is it going well for Ryan?”

  The man smiled indulgently. “First fight?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, they’ve been pretty evenly matched so far. Johnson got him on the ground in the first round, but Ryan slipped out pretty easy. Johnson has a longer reach, but Ryan’s technique is a little better. I think it could go either way.”

  Johnson let loose with a flurry of punches and I gasped. A cut opened above Zane’s right eye and blood trickled down his cheek. “Will they stop the fight?”

  “What? For that? No way. It’s nothing.”

  It didn’t look like nothing to me. Something rose within me. Something primal. I wanted Zane to hit that guy back—hit him back hard in payment for hurting him.

  Zane kneed Johnson in his side and I found myself cheering with the crowd. What the hell? I hated fighting, didn’t I? I didn’t want Zane to get hurt, but part of me trusted him to handle himself.

  Zane and Johnson got into a clinch, both throwing punches before breaking apart. Johnson took a wide swing and managed to catch Zane on the jaw. He went down. As Johnson moved to jump on him, Zane rolled and was back on his feet. I breathed a sigh of relief.

  Zane rushed toward Johnson, landed several punches, and jumped back. Zane’s leg swung up, catching Johnson on the shoulder. “That must have hurt.”

  “No doubt. Ryan’s better with his legs. Johnson mostly wants to get his opponents on the ground and pummel them.”

  I made a face. Pummeling didn’t sound good at all.

  The round ended and Zane bounced to his corner. He took water and toweled the blood from his face.

  In no time at all, they were back at it. Zane punished his opponent with a burst of punches to his chest, shoulders, and face. Johnson backed away and Zane’s leg came up, slamming into Johnson’s head. Johnson looked dazed, fell to one knee, and tumbled onto his side. Johnson rolled slightly, side to side, but didn’t rise.

  It was over. Zane had won. I cheered with the crowd.

  Zane thrust his hands in the air and jumped. I was right there with him. I screamed his name and his head jerked toward me. His eyes met mine and I knew that he’d seen me.

  ~ * ~ * ~

  Zane

  It was a knock out. I’d been certain I could win, but Johnson had surely tested that belief. I wiped the trickle of blood off my face. The crowd screamed and I yelled right along with them.

  “Zane!”

  It was Jo. I knew it was. My eyes scanned the crowd until I found her. Three rows back in the middle. What the hell was she doing here? Honestly, I didn’t care. I was just glad to see her. She was here. That was enough for me.

  “Paulie. Jo’s here.” I pointed. “Third row in the middle. The blonde. Bring her back. Can you do that for me?”

  “Sure thing.”

  ~ * ~ * ~

  Jo

  I recognized Paulie from the gym. He was the quiet type, it seemed. He
didn’t say a word as he escorted me down the hall. He stopped before a door and pointed inside.

  When I entered, Zane was sitting on a chair with someone applying a butterfly bandage to the cut over his eye.

  My heart jerked. “Does that need stitches?”

  Zane smiled. “Probably.”

  “I came to see you. The fight was different than I thought it would be. It’s easy to get caught up in it.” The excitement of the crowd had been infectious.

  “That’s what I’m told.”

  “Congratulations on winning.” I was glad Zane’s injuries appeared minor. It would be hard to get used to, but I was determined to do it.

  “Thanks.” Zane’s eyes bored into me.

  “I didn’t see the whole thing. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be a distraction. I didn’t know if I would be.”

  Zane smiled. “You’re the best kind of distraction.”

  I smiled back and then looked at my feet. When I lifted my face, Zane’s gaze caught mine and held it. “I’ve missed you.”

  Zane jerked his head and the few people in the room left. “I’ve missed you, too.”

  “I was scared. I’m sorry.”

  “Scared of what?” Zane asked

  “Loving you. Losing you. I’ve had some bad luck in that area, but really, that’s no excuse. It seems dumb now.”

  “It’s not dumb to try to protect yourself.”

  I nodded. “I was so busy trying to protect myself that I didn’t realize I didn’t need to.”

  “I think I can make you happy if you let me.”

  “I know you can.” Just talking to Zane made me happy.

  “I love you, Jo.”

  The simplicity stole my breath. I’d never tire of hearing him say it. My words caught in my throat and I took a deep gulp of air. “I love you, too, Zane.”

  He smiled. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  I shook my head. “All the reasons I was so certain we couldn’t work seem silly now.”

  Zane enfolded me in his arms and I felt safe. “I want the whole thing, Jo.”

  I lifted my head from his shoulder. “The whole thing?”

  “Everything. Anything worthwhile is worth fighting for. Isn’t that what they say?”

  I rested my forehead on his chest. “Yes.”