* * * *
His heart was going to beat out of his chest. It was all Noah could do to catch his breath as Keri rubbed her hand over the ruined flesh.
I think you're beautiful just the way you are…
Her words rang inside his head and God, how he wanted to believe them. Ached clean to his soul with the wanting, but looking at his scarred flesh, all he could think of was pulling away from her, to put his shirt and gloves back on and pray she forgot what he looked like.
She lifted her head again, looking up at him. It took effort to meet her eyes, to look and see what was there, but the moment he did, his throat burned, the back of his eyes scalded with tears and the pressure in his head gave way to a pounding headache.
Unlike the day when Isabelle had looked at him, there wasn't any disgust on Keri's face. She looked at him no differently than she had that morning at breakfast. There was compassion in her blue eyes but something else was shining up at him. Some emotion he couldn't identify. She smiled and grabbed his hands, lifting them to lay against her face, and his chest constricted, his breath snatched from his lungs as his heart started pounding.
She let go of his hands, her fingers sliding down his arms to rest near his bent elbows. "There's no such thing as perfection, Noah, but you're about as close as any man I've ever known to being just that."
Noah stared at her, her words slowly penetrating his brain enough to know all the pain and loneliness he'd lived with was a thing of the past. The warmth of her skin, the softness under his palms causing something in his chest to pinch.
He'd wondered countless times what she felt like, dreamed of touching her like this, feeling her skin under his hands, but nothing had prepared him for the feel of her. He moved his thumb, brushing it against her cheek and she turned her head until her lips brushed his skin, her breath warming his hand as she placed a soft kiss against his ruined palm.
When she looked up at him and smiled, the tightness in his chest loosened, the fear she'd reject him vanishing as if it had never been there. She really didn't care. He could see it in the way she looked at him, in the soft smile she gave him. She'd seen the worst of him and hadn't turned away. The realization eased the remaining tension he felt, released the last of his fear and then, he couldn't stop touching her.
He dug his fingers into her hair, felt the texture of those blond curls between her fingers and leaned down to kiss her, covering her mouth and slipping his tongue inside to taste her. She angled her head, deepened the kiss immediately, and leaned against him, her arms circling his waist.
He'd never wanted her as much as he did in that moment. The soft floral fragrance clinging to her skin and the taste of her kiss sent a wave of longing through his body.
Her dress was still unbuttoned from his earlier attention in the kitchen and it took very little to get the material off her shoulders and pushed to her waist. He broke the kiss, looked down at her exposed chest, then touched her, the back of his fingers brushing the underside of each breast. He ran his fingertips lightly over them, circling her areolas until they tightened. She sighed, her eyes closing as he manipulated her soft flesh, his fingers brushing her nipples until they pebbled.
"That feels nice," she said, opening her eyes back up. "Much better than those gloves."
Noah kissed her again, pinched her nipples between his thumb and forefinger and didn't stop until she moaned and pushed her hips again him. He pushed her dress down until it pooled around her feet, untied her bloomers to join the rest, and cupped his hand between her legs, those tight curls tickling his palm. She shuddered, lifted to her toes and urged him on by tilting her hips toward him again, that noise she always made when he loved her spilling from her lips.
He teased the inside of her thigh until she was squirming before inserting a finger into her slick heat. She gasped and grabbed onto his shoulders as he pulled from her and added another digit, sliding them in and out until she was panting for breath, her short nails digging into his shoulders. She kissed him, hard, quick, bit his lip, the sting chased away when she sucked it into her mouth. His body tightened, his groin drawing tight until he ached.
A slight movement of his thumb on that small pearl of flesh hidden in her slick folds and she moaned, the sound low and ragged, her arms around his neck tightening with every in and out plunge of his hand. "Faster," she whispered against his lips, rocking her hips as he drove her to the point of madness with nothing more than his hand between her legs. When she trembled, her muscles clamping around his fingers, he swallowed her scream and didn't stop manipulating her flesh until she stopped shivering against him, those curls covering her sex, wet with her pleasure.
She blinked up at him sleepily and he reluctantly pulled his hand away. Keri stared at him for long moments, her breaths coming out in shallow puffs, her eyelids drooping. She smiled, bent and unhooked her boots, kicking them, and the dress still pooled at her feet, away.
Then she sank to her knees in front of him.
His heart gave a powerful thump in his chest just seeing her at his feet like that, the light from the fire casting shadows across her naked flesh. She unlaced his boots and pulled them off, along with his socks, then sat up on her knees and unhooked his pants, pulling the material down so he could step out of them.
Standing naked before her had been a terrifying thought an hour before, but now, seeing her look up at him, desire shining so bright in her eyes, he forgot how imperfect he was.
Keri touched him, her hand wrapping around his hardened length, and Noah could do nothing but stare down at her. His heart was pounding, every nerve in his body on edge, and when she leaned forward, her tongue darting out to lick the tip of him, he took a shuddering breath, his eyes rolling back when she took him fully into her mouth.
The moist heat scorched him, drew his balls tight and it was all he could do to stand still, to not grab her head and force her to take all of him, root to tip. Her hands slid up the front of his legs to his stomach, around to his back, her soft fingers gliding over every inch of skin she could reach. The pressure of her mouth increased as she sucked him in, his whole body clenching as she drew him in and out of her mouth.
Noah fought to keep his eyes open, to watch his flesh slide between her pink lips, the wet tip of her tongue burning a trail over his length as she licked him from top to bottom. The way her gaze latched on to his and didn't let go left him feeling wanted. Desired. Capable of being loved.
He reached out, his fingers tunneling into her hair to hold her to him for long moments before finally having to pull her away for fear he'd spill himself into her mouth.
Noah scooped her off the floor, carried her to the bed and kissed her as he laid her down, stretching out beside her, holding himself as far away as he could to give himself time to calm down. Their frantic kisses slowed, the languid slide of her lips against his mouth pulling a moan from his throat before she suddenly pushed at him, tumbling him onto his back and straddling his hips, impaling herself on his erection in one hard, swift, downward motion.
The heat of her fully against his flesh, her inner thighs cradling his hips, caused his stomach to clench tight. He ground his teeth, sucked in a harsh breath as jolts of pleasure raced up his spine. He grabbed her at the waist and held her to him. "Hell’s bells, Keri, don't move." She stilled. Noah lay under her, his eyes clenched shut, trying to control his breathing and willed himself not to let go. Not yet. But the feel of her slick heat clenching around him made it nearly impossible. He concentrated on each breath, the feel of her under his hands and long minutes later, his heart rate slowed. He inhaled a breath, then opened his eyes.
And groaned.
She looked like a siren. The firelight shimmered against her skin, the expression on her face as she looked at him kicking his pulse into rapid action again. She smiled and leaned down, bracing her hands on the bed beside his head. The tips of her breasts grazed his chest before she brought one to his mouth, her beaded nipple teasing his lips. He licked the pink fl
esh, sucked it into his mouth, her sigh of pleasure echoing in his head. He gripped her bottom in both hands, squeezing, and he took his time touching every inch of her he could reach.
Desire rolled through his limbs, hot burning need gripping him until he knew there was no use trying to take things slow. Not today. Not now that he was finally able to touch her. To feel her warm skin against his own. He wanted her too much to take things slow now, his whole body vibrated with his need to claim her. He raised his hands to cup her bottom again and tilted his hips upward before urging her into moving.
The moment she sat up, bracing her hands on his chest and started to move, her hips rotating to dance against his lap, he held his breath, watched her stare down at him and finally recognized what that tightness in his chest was whenever she touched him, that small flutter he felt whenever he caught her looking at him. That crazy, obsessive desire to lock her away from the world and keep her forever.
He loved her. Craved her more than air. Needed her to feel whole.
A part of him scoffed at the very idea of opening himself up to such a powerful emotion as love again, but every soft caress her hand left behind a longing so intense it ached in his chest and left him feeling alive for the first time in twelve years.
Keri leaned down and left small kisses on his chest before working her way up his neck, her tongue lapping at the soft skin behind his ear. The tingles those tiny kisses produced drove his need for her, increased the urgency he felt.
She sucked his earlobe into her mouth, the moist heat raising gooseflesh across his body. When she finally slipped her tongue inside his mouth, a chill raced up the length of his spine. Her undulating hips rocked against him in time with the thrust and parry of her tongue, causing a new urgency. He threaded his fingers into her hair, those springy curls wrapping around his hands as if to hold him against her and he tilted his hips as she increased the speed of her thrusts.
He inhaled the flowery scent of her skin, tasted the sweetness of her mouth and knew he never wanted to feel as dead inside as he had before he found her that snowy night in the line shack. Never wanted to spend a day without her. As she rode him, their sweat-slicked skin sliding together, his thoughts centered on one repetitive desire. He wanted her forever and he kissed her more deeply to keep from screaming it like some love sick fool.
Keri lifted her head and gasped, her body clenching around him and Noah's hold on her tightened. She stared down at him, her gasps like music when he felt his own release nearing, her hips moved faster, the mind-numbing pleasure stealing their breath as she closed her eyes, threw her head back and gasped out his name. She tightened around him, her body clamping down hard against his length, and he followed her, their bodies writhing as their mingled cries filled the stillness in the cabin.
She collapsed against him, her breaths panted out as her body trembled. "Don't let go."
Noah held her tight, one arm clenched around her waist, the other across her back to tangle his fingers into her hair while burying his face against her neck. "I'll never let you go." He whispered the words against her skin and wasn't sure she heard him. They lay like that, Keri draped across his chest until their skin cooled, until he softened and slipped from her body while the ticking of the clock marked off the minutes.
The air grew cold around them and Noah grabbed the blanket, pulling it over them both and sighed, content for the first time in longer than he could remember.
Chapter Twenty Nine
For years, Christmas had been another day on the calendar, but this year was different. Keri and the kids obviously made it so, but for the first time since moving to Willow Creek two years past, Noah didn't dread it.
He remembered the excitement that always hung in the air when he was Aaron's age and he knew it was still there. The look on those kids’ faces said as much. They were happy. With nothing more than they had, they were happy.
And so was Keri.
She smiled at him as she set one of the kitchen chairs down near him and sat down. Aaron and Sophie Ann were on the other side of the room, playing a board game he'd picked up for them at the mercantile. Other than their soft voices, there wasn’t a sound in the room besides the crackle and pop of the fire and that old clock.
Noah leaned forward, grabbed Keri's hand and raised it, kissing the back of her knuckles. "So, what do you want to do with the rest of the day?"
She smiled. "Things that aren't appropriate with small kids in the room."
His blood heated at the look in her eyes, those things she was talking about filling his head with images of her naked, her warm skin touching every inch of him. "I should have built that bedroom onto the back of this cabin like I planned to when I moved in here. I regret not ever getting around to doing so now."
She smiled and turned her body toward him. "That is a shame," she said. "But sitting here with you is enough."
She squeezed his hand and it was odd seeing his scarred flesh while she was in the room. It would take a while to get used to taking those gloves off when he came in the house but knew, once the initial shock wore off, it would feel as if he'd always done so. Aaron and Sophie Ann had questions when they'd seen his hands and he'd answered every one of them. Luckily, nothing held a kid’s attention long and their questions finally stopped.
Keri stood, grabbed his journal before taking her seat again and flipped the book open to the sketch of Rosebriar. When she asked about it, his heart pinched. "I grew up there," he said.
She smiled. "I thought as much." She looked back down at the drawing, her finger tracing the lines of the house. "Is your family still there?"
He didn't answer right away, memories he'd tried to bury bombarding him too fast to form a coherent sentence, but when he could, he nodded. "I think so." He stared at the drawing, memories flooding his mind. "Rosebriar has been in our family close to a hundred years. It doesn't look much like this now, though. The Yankees destroyed a good bit of it. They set fire to the east wing but it wasn't a total loss. My mother and sister stayed on." He shifted in his seat. "Well, they were there when I left."
"When you left?" Keri turned to look at him, confusion marring her features. "You don't know if they're still there?"
"No."
"Have you not spoken to them since you left home?"
He shook his head and her eyes widened. She looked stunned by the admission. "Why?" she asked. "They're your family."
Noah leaned back in the rocker and stared at the fire. Why hadn't he contacted them? He glanced at his hand and gripped the arm of the chair tight. "I said some awful things to them when I left. I don't much think they'd want to hear from me."
Keri was silent for long minutes. She closed the journal with a snap and turned to look at him. "You've not spoken to your family in twelve years?" She made a small sound, a strangled gasp before shaking her head. "Noah, how could you do that? Your mother must be beside herself wondering what happened to you!"
She stood, put the journal on the mantel and walked off, entering the kitchen without another word. Noah stared at the spot she'd been sitting in stunned silence. What the hell had just happened?
He stood, motioning for Aaron to stay where he was when the boy climbed to his feet and looked his way. Keri's outburst had drawn the kids’ attention. When Aaron sat back down, distracting Sophie Ann again, Noah walked into the kitchen and stopped by the table. Keri was fussing about the stove, scrubbing the top even though he'd never seen it cleaner. "Keri?"
She stopped and stared at the wall, her shoulders lifting as she heaved a large breath. "You've no idea how it feels to be waiting for word from a loved one and never receive it." Turning, she looked at him, sadness filling her eyes. "It causes a small part of you to die. To think you're not loved enough to matter to them." Tears gathered in her eyes before she blinked them away. "I've not heard from Peter since Sophie Ann was born. I don't even know if he's still alive." She laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. "Can you imagine? Dragging my children halfway acro
ss the territory to find a man who might very well be dead. What kind of irresponsible person does that?" Her eyes filled with tears again. "I'm the worst mother in the world."
Noah crossed the room when her tears started sliding down her cheeks. She wiped them away and sighed. "You can't leave your family to wonder forever, Noah. It's cruel to do so. Regardless of what happened when you left, a simple note telling them you're still here, that you're thinking about them, is all it would take to ease their mind. I'm sure they're worried about you."
He'd thought the same thing a time or two but dismissed the notion as quickly as it came. He'd left his old life behind and had no intentions of revisiting it but looking at Keri's stricken face, he knew she was right. Hell, for all he knew, his mother and sister could be long dead. The thought caused his chest to tighten. "I'll write them," he said, reaching out to wrap his arms around her. "You're right. I shouldn't have been so thoughtless."
She leaned against him, tucking her head under his chin and heaved a breath, sinking further into him while raising her arms to wrap around his waist. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."
Noah smiled into her hair. "I'm sorry I gave you a reason to." They stood for long minutes, neither saying a word. A gust of wind blew past the house, snow flurries dancing past the window as the frigid air whistled through the glass panes. The sun was setting, the day almost over.
A noise drew their attention and they shuffled away from each other as if they were about to get caught doing something they weren't supposed to. Sophie Ann walked into the room asking for a drink of water and just like that, the intimacy they'd been sharing was gone.
* * * *
"What'cha doin'?"
Noah glanced down at Sophie Ann and smiled at the way her face was scrunched as she stared up at him. "Looking."
Willow Creek Christmas Page 21
