Catch Me a Cowboy (Wattle Valley, #1)

by Jacquie Underdown

  ‘Now, we just need to keep at it. Production is nearly over, and let me tell you, this is the highest rating season we’ve ever had. The community is in love with you. Eating every episode up.’

  Wil nodded. None of that meant anything to him. He wouldn’t care if the show ended right now and he retreated into obscurity forever.

  His body still ached for Emily’s touch, his mind for her words and stories. He missed her, more than he could believe at times. This was different than the heartache he experienced when Billi cheated on him because back then he had so much anger to distract him.

  With Emily, now that he had time to get over the initial shock of her walking away from the show and from him, he just missed her. Stupid. Silly. Ridiculous. But the heart loved who the heart loved and there was nothing he could do about that.

  ‘We’re in the final week. We’ll film the finale on Sunday. I need you to muster up any charm you can find and sweep these remaining ladies off their feet. They already assume something is not quite right. You need to reassure them. You need to reassure all our viewers that there is still a chance at love.’

  Wil rubbed his hand over his chin and sighed.

  Andrea leant forward and patted his knee. ‘Come on. You’ve got nothing left to lose here. You may as well enjoy yourself. The remaining contestants are gorgeous, intelligent women, you can’t deny that.’

  He shook his head. He couldn’t. The remaining contestants were lovely and if not for Emily, he might have fallen for one. Maybe. I guess I’ll never know. But he wasn’t in the right headspace for romance. The thought of love frightened him, yet his body throbbed with the need for it. With Emily.

  ‘You’ve got three dates left. One with each of the girls. They are all still playing hard, hoping to win that heart of yours. You’re a catch, Wil. You would make any one of these ladies happy and I’m sure they could make you happy too. Just be open for anything, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t let one woman ruin your chance here. Remember why you came on this show to start with.’

  ‘I’ll try,’ he said.

  She patted his knee again and smiled warmly. ‘That’s all I ask. One week, Wil. Then a little bit of promo. After that, it’s up to you what you do.’

  GOSSIPER—ONLINE ENTERTAINMENT TALK

  Catch Me a Cowboy season finale: And the winner is …

  Okay lovers of cowboys, courting, and all things country, the suspense is over. The winner of this season of Catch Me a Cowboy was decided during last night’s airing of the grand finale.

  After eight long weeks, Becky Brown, the stunning red-headed Melbourne socialite, took out the final prize—the heart of cowboy heartthrob, Wil Parker.

  If Becky’s tears and inability to form words due to excessive sobbing was anything to go by, she may very well be in love. The more reserved Parker, who held it together for the ceremony, despite the obvious nerves, wasn’t so transparent.

  Though, in the days leading up to the grand finale airing on the Dream Network, there were reports the ‘lovers’ were seen about town, holding hands, cuddling and looking generally like the happy couple all Catch Me a Cowboy fans hoped for.

  Will this match made in reality dating heaven last? Only time will tell.

  Comments:

  RadicalMummy I’m happy for Wil to be able to get over what Emily did to him. I hope he has a long future with Becky.

  Misticalgirl I really like Becky. She seems very genuine and I think she’s perfect for Wil. I hope Emily is now regretting her decision to leave.

  MasterDebater What a beautiful finale. Still feel a bit funny about this. I don’t think Wil looked like he was genuinely happy with this result.

  PaulG Bring back WILF. Stopped watching once she left.

  MellisaMarr What an anti-climax. Still feel it was Emily Wil wanted. Such a shame because this match isn’t going to last.

  AlisonNellie33 Best season ever. Finally, a cowboy with soul … and manners. The bar has been set high now.

  Chapter 44

  Emily stared at the television screen as though in a trance. Last weekend she had watched every episode from start to finish and then tonight, the finale episode. Her heart was splattered on the floor in front of her because, in the end, Wil had chosen Becky.

  As much as she tried to be happy for him, because this was what she wanted, for him to move on, she couldn’t. She couldn’t find a skerrick of happiness or support for the two of them. In fact, she loathed the ground Becky walked on—her jovial, smiling face and happy tears as she fell into Wil’s arms. And that look on his face as he pressed a kiss to the top of Becky’s head.

  Each breath burned in her throat, her chest was bruised with pain. What the hell had she been thinking to let Wil Parker go? Giving him to Becky? She must be mad. Now that she knew there was no chance of getting him back, the reality and enormity of what she had done struck her like a hammer, big blunt blows to her head and heart until she was left bloody and broken, unable to be repaired.

  Emily lifted from the couch and took two staggered steps. She didn’t know what to do with herself—if she should break down and cry, or scream, or collapse into a heap. Thoughts, regrets, emotions, flickered through her brain, bringing with it a clarity she had never been privy to before now. Before the only man she had ever truly loved was ripped from her arms forever.

  Her dad’s face appeared in her mind and she groaned to see that smug smiling face of his. She had let him, the first male role model in her life, dictate her future. As a little girl, her dad was everything to her. He was her world and she adored him more than anyone else in her life. Her stomach clenched, the wounds he inflicted upon her, the pain of his betrayal, still raw and gaping after all these years. When he cheated on her mother, leaving her a sobbing mess for years afterwards, he destroyed Emily’s reality. Whom she thought was once an invincible, unfaltering hero, was no longer. He was a mere human. Less than human, because he was a cheat. He cared about his own pleasure more than he did about his family. The love she thought he had for Emily now felt like a lie.

  From that day onwards, Emily had a new perspective, a new place from which to view men. And she based every relationship with men since, on that one betrayal that left her heart toughened with knotted scars.

  She hadn’t even known until she fell in love for the first time and all her hidden defences presented themselves. It was a physical reaction, unstoppable. On an intellectual level, she knew it was irrational, but she couldn’t control it.

  As she got older, and the biological desire to settle down and have children became stronger, she convinced herself that she may be able to overcome these physical reactions, but when it came to the crunch, she had no say what her defence mechanisms did. The moment she fell for Wil Parker with all her soul, the scars on her heart tugged and tightened until the pain was too great and she had to get out of there. She had to save herself. Fight or flight instinct at its most primitive.

  But now, as her body crumbled under the weight and burden of such heartbreak and longing that beat so intensely she felt it in her bones, the need to protect her heart paled. It became a faltering flicker in comparison to the burning love she had for Wil. The agony coursing through her veins and squeezing at her heart for having lost him far outweighed any pain her past could ever push upon her. She loved Wil more than her irrationality could ever compete with.

  But it was too late. She had found this out too late. How she wished she could take it all back. Take back leaving him and breaking his heart and all her stupid, unthinking actions. But she couldn’t. The past was the past. He would never forgive her. She knew that the morning she looked into his eyes and saw the depth of her betrayal reflected in those pale irises.

  A sob broke from her throat. The pain in her chest burned like a fire was scorching her insides. Grief weighed heavy in her muscles and she wasn’t even sure she could stand anymore. She sank to the ground, palms to the cold floor. She had just lost the best thing that had ever happened to her in her
life and the reality of that was worse than anything else. Nothing compared to Wil. To the loss of his love. To her stupidity. Nothing.

  She thought about all the dates she went on. Not orgasming for two years. Blaming the men. Yes, some of them were culpable, but was she subconsciously pulling those types of men towards her because deep down, she was quietly sabotaging any chance of happiness? Stopping herself from the potential of pain? Guilt wracked her body. For all the time she had wasted, but mostly for Wil. He hadn’t deserved this. Not one bit. He was only ever kind, charming, caring and loving. And now he was gone and it was all her own stupid, ridiculous fault.

  The door knocked at that moment. Emily lifted her head and stared at it. She couldn’t possibly open it in the state she was in. Tears were streaking down her face. Her shoulders were shuddering. Loud, anguished cries tore from her throat.

  The knocks came louder, harder.

  ‘Emily. I know you’re in there. Let me in, please?’

  Emily’s head snapped up to hear that familiar voice. Xanthi. Using all her remaining reserves, Emily slowly dragged herself up into standing position and went to the door. She opened it wide.

  Xanthi was standing on the other side, her face contorted with sympathy.

  ‘Oh, Emily,’ she said, her own eyes glossing.

  A loud, wracking sob was all Emily could manage. Xanthi strode inside, slammed the door behind her and took Emily in her arms.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Emily finally spat out between tears.

  Xanthi shook her head. ‘No, I’m the one who’s sorry. You’re my best friend. I should have supported you, not left you stranded. Who am I to say how you feel is wrong? I should’ve been there for you, and I wasn’t. I’m …’ Her voice shook. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘I missed you,’ Emily said.

  ‘I know. I missed you too. I’ve been watching the show, Em, and I saw the love you have for Wil. I’ve never seen that in your eyes before. But it grew stronger the more episodes I watched. And I just knew after tonight’s finale that you’d be heartbroken. I couldn’t leave you alone to deal with that.’

  Emily pulled back from her and managed a weak, watery smile. ‘Thank you.’

  Xanthi took Emily’s hands and led her to the couch. They sat beside each other. ‘So what are you going to do about this? You have to go after him.’

  ‘I want to. More than anything. I realise what a terrible mistake I made. But it’s too late.’

  ‘That’s bullshit! Now, I don’t know Wil personally, but even I could tell he was just going through the motions during the finale. He doesn’t love Becky. But I know, sure as the sky is blue, that he loves you. You can’t fake the way he looked at you.’

  ‘You think so?’

  Xanthi nodded. ‘I know so.’

  Emily’s tummy fluttered with anxiety as she thought about confronting Wil, telling him she had made a mistake and asking him to take her back. ‘But what if he hates me? He won’t forgive me for what I’ve done to him. I humiliated him in front of Australia.’

  Xanthi shrugged. ‘It’s worth a shot. What have you got to lose?’

  Emily sighed. ‘I’ve got absolutely nothing to lose.’

  ‘Exactly. So when’s this reunion you all have to attend?’

  ‘This weekend.’

  ‘Great. That right there is fate giving you an opening to make this right.’

  Chapter 45

  Nostalgia flooded Emily when the bus arrived at the Parker farm. Spring had settled in and the farm was luscious and blooming. Evidence of new life was everywhere she looked, in the calves and lambs that walked alongside their mothers, in the sprouting gardens, and colourful flowers.

  She barely spoke to any of the other ladies as they were all styled and had their hair and make-up professionally done. She was especially grateful that Becky remained separated from the ostensible “losers”. She couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes, knowing she could have touched and kissed and made love to Wil. She hoped with all her being that Xanthi was right about Wil’s happy performance on finale night being a big act for the cameras.

  For the rest of the day, they were placed singly in front of a camera with Andrea and bombarded with questions. Emily was as honest as she could be. As Xanthi had said, there was nothing left to lose. She didn’t hide her true emotions for Wil. She didn’t hide that she made a mistake leaving. She didn’t hide that she was as jealous as hell that he chose Becky in the end. Yes, she even admitted to wanting him back. It was cathartic to get it all off her chest. And to finally admit the truth to not only Andrea but to herself. She knew how she was going to look to the viewers who watched this, but she didn’t care. Not one bit.

  Then, later in the afternoon, they were all placed in the barn on tiered seating. Emily was positioned in the front row beside Becky. Seeing her again, dressed immaculately and looking stunning, anxiety swept through her body. She kept her head down as the rest of the ladies took their positions behind and around her.

  ‘Hello, Emily,’ said Becky.

  Emily lifted her head and forced a smile onto her lips, finally meeting Becky’s gaze. She blinked quickly, quelling the tears threatening to appear. She would not cry in front of Becky and show how hurt she was. At the end of the day, Emily had brought this upon herself. Becky was merely there to reap the rewards of Emily’s insanity.

  The cameras rolled and Missy assumed her seat in front of them. She led them through the series from day one until the end, ushering the girls from their seats individually, to give their interpretations and opinions. Again, Emily was as honest as she could be.

  Missy turned to the camera and said, ‘By far, the most controversial episode during this season of Catch Me a Cowboy was the day Emily decided she was not willing to leave her city life for the country and left the show.’

  Emily’s guts churned and she had to bite back a groan.

  On the screen behind Missy, a montage of her time on the farm played. From the look Wil gave her when she first saw him. To her slipping over in the mud and crying about the panic attacks she was experiencing. Then flashing across the monitor was the first date when she kissed Wil silly because she couldn’t think of anything else in the world that was more important. More scenes of them cooking together and kissing each other on the porch. Then Emily meeting his family—hearing the conversation Wil had about her with Alec, and the expression of her face later that night when Wil held her in his arms and she told him she was falling for him. The look in Wil’s eyes as those words fell from her mouth took her breath away.

  She had never had a man look at her like that, as though he was proud, enamoured, and adored the ground she walked on. And what was interesting was that she was looking at him in exactly the same way. Emily pressed a hand to her chest as the pain of losing Wil flared stronger than ever. Her shoulders hunched. She fought for air and attempted to stop tears that flooded her eyes, but she couldn’t. The emotions were too strong. She loved Wil so much it hurt. But it hurt her more not to be with him.

  Emily could feel the cameras squeezing in on her, suffocating her.

  ‘What’s happening, Emily?’ Missy asked.

  Emily shook her head, holding her finger up. She needed to compose herself before she’d be able to manage speech. She drew a deep breath, bottom lip trembling, and said, ‘I should never have left. Wil Parker is the most amazing man I have ever met and I should have fought for him. I should have fought against my own fears for him. He’s worth that effort. He’s worth the risk. I know that now. When I walked away that day, I lost the best thing that has ever happened to me.’

  Her eyes fluttered to the side of the studio when she caught movement in her peripheral. Wil was there, his face so solemn it broke her heart even more. She met his sad blue gaze for just a moment before he shook his head, turned and walked away, disappointment loud in each step he took further from her.

  The director called cut and the filming broke. Emily was taken off to the side to fix her make-up. She t
ook a moment to go to the bathroom—needing some privacy to compute all that had taken place today. At the basins, she peered at herself in the mirror and breathed deeply. She was exhausted. This was not how she planned this day to go. She assumed she would cope better, but being back here had her worked up into a frenzy and all her emotions were bubbling to the surface.

  It had shocked her to see Wil earlier, in the flesh. For the last month, she had only viewed 2D images. Seeing him again cemented her feelings for him. The moment she met his eyes, there was no doubt that the love she held for him was stronger than everything. Meant more to her than anything. But what exactly did that look he gave her mean?

  Emily inhaled deeply with her eyes closed, then exited the bathroom. She headed back to the others along the hall. So many memories here. She glanced back at the small cupboard where she experienced such immense pleasure with Wil and she ached all over. Craved to go back to that night. She turned back and crashed, face first against a solid wall of muscle.

  Wil’s chest.

  His scent swamped her and her legs were melting beneath her.

  She looked up at his face, having forgotten the sheer size of him, the broadness of his body and how blue his eyes were.

  She took a quick step back, though every part of her was propelling her forward, and said, breathlessly, ‘Wil?’

  His expression said nothing. ‘That was another fantastic performance you gave earlier. Quite skilled at lying.’

  Emily’s lips parted as she shook her head. ‘It wasn’t a performance, Wil. Everything I said was from the heart.’

  Anger, incredulity, twisted his features and Emily could feel the resentment in his glare. She flinched. She had her answer right there. She didn’t have a chance with Wil. It was over. He would never forgive her. She sighed. ‘I’m so sorry, Wil. That night in the barn, with your family, when I said I was willing to move out here, I wasn’t lying. In my heart, at that moment, it was the god’s honest truth. But I got scared and I bolted. And now, I know that leaving you is the biggest regret of my life.’ Tears pooled and fell down her cheeks. ‘And I’m so sorry for that.’