by Silla Webb
I was pissed as hell that he had the balls to approach me at the diner, tryin’ to act all friendly and shit. But I kept my cool and let him say his peace, only because Heidi Jo was with me. Had I been anywhere else and he’d approached me, I’d beat his ass again. But havin’ that talk with Luke intrigued me. I knew he had a clearer way of seein’ things than I did. Hell he saw right through all of the stress Carly Jo was livin’ under when I was as blind as shit to it all. I didn’t know how or why, but I had to find out.
My girl was about to crumble from the weight of the world on her shoulders, but before her fight or flight instinct had the chance to shine through, Luke stepped in, givin’ her the shoulder she needed to lean on. Luke saved her. That may taste like horse shit now, considering the circumstances. But I’m thankful for the friendship Luke was able to offer Carly Jo. He is a bigger, better man than I’ll ever have the balls to be and I’m thankful to him for it.
When I saw the mass destruction I caused to his house the night Carly Jo told me about the two of them, I felt the size of an ant. This man endured abuse for years at my hand. I destroyed his bike, damaged his truck, and wrecked his home. Yet, here he was, his hand stretched out offerin’ me of all people his friendship.
He checked in on Carly Jo, made sure she and the baby were both doin’ well. He took care of her, when I couldn’t. Now, I know you’re wonderin’ why the hell it took me so long to come around and why I had Luke Ashton doin’ my bitch work. The truth is, I was so ashamed of the man I had become. I wanted time alone to analyze my life, my faults. I needed that time to become a better person. It ain’t no overnight transformation either. I still have my moments where pride gets the best of me and I have to take a step back and think before I speak.
To be completely honest, over these last several weeks I realized that I didn’t harbor hatred for Luke Ashton, but absolute jealousy. Yeah, at first I laughed at that thought too. The only reason why I could imagine bein’ jealous of Luke was his connection to Carly Jo. Then I realized it went back farther than these last few months. Hell, it went back to our frickin’ childhood.
Luke and I were havin’ a conversation one night after he’d checked in on Carly Jo. Don’t have a damn clue how shit got deep, got real on us. But he went there and I followed. I was learnin’ from Luke so I figured I might as well keep up. He asked me why I always treated him like shit. My initial answer was that I never liked his ass. He understood, but pressed me with why I didn’t like him. I had no answer. So, I let it stew for a while, thinkin’ long and hard about the feud between Luke and me.
Ya see, Luke didn’t come from the perfect raisin’ I came from. His dad worked for my dad’s truckin’ company until he was involved in an accident that nearly cost him his life. Truckers don’t make shit, they make less than damn Red Hats make. He was raised on the wrong side of the tracks, literally. He lived up Miller’s Branch, a small holler that was divided from the rest of Williamstown by the railroad crossing. Only damn thing up Miller’s Branch was slums, dead beats and pill heads.
As a kid, you only see the outside of things…and all I saw in Luke was a kid from the wrong side of the tracks with old tattered clothes, and no name shoes. Yet, the kid was always happy, upbeat and smiling. I can honestly remember wonderin’ what the hell he had to smile about. Dude was poor as hell, came from shit, yet he lived life to the fullest and never had a mean word to say about a soul.
We were complete opposites. He was tall and lanky. I was thick, and broad. He was a bit goofy and loved to make people smile. I was a pompous ass who didn’t give a damn about anybody smilin’ but myself, or Carly Jo. Luke Ashton had a genuine heart and I was a damn son of a bitch. Luke came from shit, but always thought of everyone else first. Me, I always had it all, born with a frickin’ silver spoon in my mouth.
And that my friends, is why I despised Luke Ashton. Call me a callous ass, I totally agree with ya there, honey. But at least I’m a man who can stand up and admit my faults and try to make shit right. Oddly enough, I have Luke to thank for that shit.
After I realized my mistakes, I made a vow to myself that I was gonna become a better man. The first step to becoming a better man was to start with rightin’ my wrongs with Luke. Once I had come to peace with the error of my ways and was forgiven by Luke, I knew I was ready to pour my heart out to the girl who owns my heart with every ounce of who she is. I knew it was time to forgive Carly Jo.
It’s too damn early to sleep, but Carly must be exhausted. So I lay here in bed revelin’ in the sensation of her soft body pressed against mine. When she finally stirs in her sleep and those beautiful hazel eyes flutter open meetin’ mine, damn it, my heart stops. The smile that reaches her eyes jump starts my heart back to a steady rhythm quickly though. Entranced by her beauty and the overwhelming happiness that floods through my veins, I simply can’t look away from her.
“Good Morning,” she whispers softly. I press a kiss to her forehead with a chuckle hangin’ off my lips.
“No darlin’ it’s just after ten PM. Ain’t mornin’ yet.”
“Wow, really. It felt like I’d sleep for ages.”
“So you slept good then, huh?” I can’t hide my smile. “Guess you know where you belong then, right?” She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth and I can’t resist takin’ a little taste of what I’ve been missin’. I gently trail my tongue across her bottom lip before sucking it between my own, teasin’ her. Before I get carried away, she presses against my chest pullin’ away from me. “What’s wrong?”
She sits up in the bed, wrappin’ her arms around her legs. “We can’t move so fast just yet, Colton. I need to know without doubt that when I get the paternity results in two weeks you’ll be by my side regardless of the outcome.”
I tilt her chin up, forcin’ her to look me in the eyes. “Darlin’ I ain’t goin’ anywhere. If the baby is Luke’s it’ll just have to have two Daddies. If the baby is mine, it’ll have Daddy and Uncle Luke. So wipe the doubt outta that pretty little head.” I press a soft kiss to her forehead.
“Uncle Luke? Where the hell did that come from?” She asks, shocked.
“You told me that Luke’s your best friend, right?” She bobs her head. “I realized that I was drivin’ a wedge between us because of my jealousy for him. I was so hurt when you told me about the two of you, but mistakes can be forgiven. Luke made me see that.” Her stunned expression ain’t lost on me.
“Okay, can you start at the beginning and explain all of this to me, please? We haven’t really talked much in almost two months and I’m sure a lot has happened.”
“Sure, baby. Let’s find you something to eat and talk.” I pull her up from the bed and lead her into the kitchen. Pointin’ to the barstool at the island I instruct her to sit while I raid through the fridge. “Chili and grilled cheese okay?” I toss back over my shoulder at her.
“Sounds good. Now start talking, please. You have me on the edge of my seat here. What happened between you and Luke? The two of you were oddly pleasant with each other at the hospital earlier.”
I make quick prep work on the chili and grilled cheese, choosin’ my words carefully. “Heidi Jo and I were havin’ dinner at the diner when Luke came in. We talked briefly, but something he mentioned just stuck with me after he left. I can’t even remember now what it was. I went by his house sometime later and we just laid things on the line.” I lean against the counter, waitin’ to flip the grilled cheese in the pan.
“So it’s that simple? You two talked it out, no blood shed?”
“That simple.” I place the food on the table in front of her and turn back to the fridge to pour two glasses of sweet tea.
“So are y’all like friends now, or do I need to still tread lightly where Luke is concerned?” She asks quietly as she shovels the chili around on the spoon.
“I think we both could use a friend to be honest. I don’t know what demons he has, but I know the man has frickin’ Superman X-Ray vision and can see straight through
anyone.”
“Luke’s been through his fair share of pain. But he’s a good friend. He needs me as much as I need you. Maybe I’m greedy by wanting to have my cake and eat it too; ya know having my best friend and you both in my life.”
“Darlin’, ain’t no point in dredgin’ up all the pain again. Fact is, we’ve both made mistakes. One thing I’ve realized is I can’t stop lovin’ you. I don’t wanna stop lovin’ you. So, until the last breath extinguishes from my body, I’ll be here, by your side, holdin’ your hand, lovin’ you.” I kiss the back of her hand, then shoot her a quick wink that earns me a wide smile.
“So we start fresh? Put it all, and I mean everything behind us and move forward?” She questions.
“No, we start where we left off…just another bump in the road that’s made us stronger. Ain’t no point in movin’ slow, pacin’ things along. We always come back to each other, Carly Jo; only because that’s where we belong, together. I know everything there is to know about you, darlin’. If you’re more comfortable keepin’ things above the sheets until you get the results of the paternity test, I’m fine with that. As long as I have you tucked by my side each night.”
Carly Jo clears the table, rinsin’ the dishes before placin’ ‘em in the dishwasher. Makin’ her way back to the table she wraps her arms around my neck, plantin’ herself in my lap and kissin’ the corner of my mouth. She leans her head against my shoulder as she releases a deep sigh. “For the first time in months, I feel like I can breathe. I feel like I’m home.”
I pepper delicate kisses across her forehead, breathin’ in that delectably sweet scent that I’ve missed so damn much. “Welcome home, darlin’. Welcome home.”
Home.
Hearing him say that word settles all of my doubts and fears. I haven’t felt at home since I left South Carolina. Coming home to Kentucky I’ve unveiled a mountain of secrets that I wish I could hide away. I’ve felt even more alone in the home I grew up in surrounded by the people that I’ve known all of my life. But the displacement and overwhelming sense of loneliness has made me stronger because I realized I could only rely on me to take care of myself. It wasn’t hard to find my strength, it’s been here all this time.
When Colton re-entered my life I faltered briefly and let the weakness consume me because he breaks me down so easily. One simple touch and I’m putty in his hands. He knows the extent of his control over me and I pray to God that he handles me with care. If he leaves me again, I’ll be dust at his feet. My heart can’t shatter again and continue beating.
Home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to Colton. You can mask your fears and try to bury the pain, but it’s what lies beneath the surface that holds the truth. We have both ran in opposite directions trying to hide from the other, but the earth’s pull draws us back together every time. Whether it takes seven years or a couple of months, we always collide together.
I was taken aback when Colton told me that he made amends with Luke. I don’t know why he always had so much hostility towards Luke, but I’m glad that he has put it behind him. Luke and I may have had one amazing night that was a huge mistake, but that doesn’t alter our friendship at all. We have a physical attraction to each other, but Luke knows that friendship is all I can offer him. He knows that my heart belongs to Colton.
I hope that IF Luke is the daddy of my baby, Colton holds true to his promise. He said he won’t walk away from us, that he’ll be here holding my hand regardless. But he’s left me so many times before that it’s really hard to grasp any truth in his statement, although I really want to believe him. Two weeks…that’s how much longer I have to stand with my feet on the ledge of the cliff, waiting to know the results of the Paternity test. There’s a double edged sword to this situation. I have Colton back which is exactly what I want, what I need. I know he will have a hard time keeping his hands to himself over the next two weeks and I can’t erase the what-ifs from my mind. I guess I’ll just live in the moment, take each day as it comes and see what tomorrow holds.
After I’ve cleaned up our mess, we crawl back into bed. Colton nestles me tight to his side wrapping one arm around my shoulder, hanging the other over my hip as our feet tangle together. I nuzzle my face against his shoulder and his scruffy unshaven face tickles my nose. A giggle escapes my lips because I’ve missed the sensation of his scruff tickling my face, the scent of his warm body encasing mine. I’ve just missed him.
“What’re ya gigglin’ ‘bout darlin’?” His husky voice vibrates in my ear.
“Your beard is scruffy and it tickles my face. Just thinking about how much I’ve missed this.”
“We’ll make up for what we’ve lost, darlin’. I don’t want to think about the past anymore. We can’t change anything behind us, we can only pave a perfection for tomorrow. The world could be pulled out from beneath me, but as long as I have you, Heidi Jo and our baby all will be perfect.” He runs his fingers through my hair as he speaks and the softness of his touch sends tremors down my spine. “You just have to trust in me. I’m a changed man, darlin’. That much I can promise you."
“I trust you, baby.” I whisper against his neck, getting comfortable as sleep tugs at me.
Chapter 18
Considering the awkwardness between Colton and I over the last few weeks, I’m utterly amazed at how quickly we fall back into an ease of comfort with each other. Reluctantly, I’ve spent the last two weeks at his house, but he insisted that I begin adjusting to the life we hope to build together. Although I refuse to have sex with him until we are sure of the paternity of the baby, he’s surprisingly okay with just holding me close to him and talking at night. It’s bringing us closer together, sorta like getting to know each other all over again. We may have fallen in love as kids, but time and circumstances strained that love, although it was ever present lying dormant below the surface of our hearts. It’s nice getting to know the Colton that I know now; the mature man, the daddy, the superintendent.
After we drop Heidi Jo off at school, Colton and I make our way to Simon Energy. He scans his ID card at the front gate, then pulls to the front space labeled Carly Simon. After being attacked by Drew a few weeks ago, I had a high tech security system with key card entry only installed at all of the mines. Anyone else who wishes to enter the properties has to be verified by security at the front gate before entering.
“Hey,” I squeeze his arm lightly, “will you go to Lexington with me this weekend to pick out a new vehicle?”
He shoots me a sideways glance before popping the latch on the door and climbing out. I slide to the edge of the seat where he helps from the cab. “You know I will.”
“So why do you look so shocked?” I bump my hip into his side and a low grumble boils up in his chest. Hey, I said I wasn’t screwing his eyeballs out yet. Flirting is fair game.
He wraps his arm around my waist and thrust me backwards into his firm chest. His growing erection pulsates against my ass and a sly smile slips up my lips knowing that I can affect him so wildly. “You’re gonna kill me, you know this right?” He breathes against my ear, causing me to shudder in excitement. “I’m shocked you’re gettin’ rid of the Camaro. I thought she was your baby.” He says lacing our fingers together as he drags me up the stairs and out of the cold.
I twist around quickly shooting him a deadpan glare, “Hey, who the hell said I was gettin’ rid of my baby!” I snap at him. “I can promise you now that shit ain’t happening. I just want an SUV because the Camaro is too small for when my little monkey makes her appearance into the real world. I really don’t know what to look for as far as safety standards, fuel economy, blah blah; so I thought you would help.” I mimic with my hand.
“Pipe down, woman.” He barks at me playfully as we pass by Shelly who rolls her eyes at us. “We’ll drive down to Lexington, and find my darlin’ an SUV. Heidi Jo would love to go to Kangaroo Jack’s. Let’s make a weekend of it.”
I toss my messenger bag on the floor beside the desk then
fall back into the leather chair. “Sounds good, I’ll search for a hotel after I complete my reports. Do you have a very busy day?”
“Yep, up to my ass with MSHA violations to get straightened out.” He leans down for a kiss, but steals the breath right from me instead.
“Well move your ass, Weston. You’re costin’ me money! Scoot it, sexy.” I say swatting at his ass as he walks around the desk. He chuckles as he walks out of the office and it echoes through the hallway, filling my heart with happiness.
When he’s out of sight, I pull my focus to my morning tasks of checking emails, productivity and safety reports, etc. I power on the laptop and wait for it to boot up, then move over to the Keurig to brew a steaming cup of hot chocolate. Sitting back down, I see a pile of mail on the edge of the desk that I somehow overlooked. Sifting through it, I toss the junk mail to the side only opening the important mail. A large gold envelope is stuffed in the middle of the stack and neatly written across the front is my name, no addresses whatsoever. I toss everything aside, intrigued by this lone envelope and the contents that it holds.
Grabbing the letter opener I rip through the top of the envelope, pulling out a small stack of documents. Sifting through the papers, I wonder why the hell someone would send me car title documents. Confused, I read through the documentation of the 2006 Ford Mustang in search of the owner and find only one name. Neatly written in print then beneath is signed Kari White as the owner. Kari White? I search my memory bank quickly, but I don’t know a Kari White. I flip through the documents for more clues when a short slip falls from the stack, landing in my lap. Picking the slip up as I start to stuff it back into the pile, something on it catches my eye. I lay the documents down on the desk, gripping the slip in both hands. I read carefully over the check that paid for the 2006 Ford Mustang, and the salt to the wound singes my skin immediately. I pick up the phone calling down to Colton’s office telling him that I need him immediately. He comes bolting through the door moments later, with worry etching his face.
