Silent Cravings

by E. Blix

  Ashi, with his ice bag wrapped in a towel and pressed to his head, went downstairs to see if Analie could find him a map of New York and the surrounding states. He knocked on Mouse’s apartment door. No answer. After hesitating a moment, he let himself in.

  Analie was nowhere to be seen, though there were a few schoolbooks on the table in the living room, a neat stack of loose-leaf next to them, and a giant, lopsided tiger made out of fun foam. He scented but couldn’t track anything while he was human. The kitchen was empty as well, though he noticed a plate of cookies on the counter.

  Ashi moved to the bedroom. He knocked on the door.

  “Come in,” Analie called.

  Ashi walked in and was greeted with a snarl. Entirely unimpressed, he glowered at Analie until she shrank back.

  “I need a map of New York,” he told her.

  “Tough.”

  “The next couple of days would be fine.”

  “I don’t think you heard me. I said ‘tough.’ As in, ‘tough luck, you’re not getting a map of New York from me.’”

  “It needs to show streets, railroads, that sort of thing.”

  “Uh, hello? I’m not getting you a map.”

  Ashi stared at her. “Yes, you are.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “You are.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Listen to me, you little brat—”

  Analie was out of her chair and on him in a second. Her eyes were completely gold and her nails were sharp and hard. Ashi suffered three brutal swipes through his shirt before he could throw her off and beat a hasty retreat. That hadn’t gone well at all. His powers of intimidation had obviously dimin—

  Oh shit, she was chasing him!

  Long after Tim had nodded off, Mouse got to her feet, carefully easing him back down and tucking the covers around him. Deeply troubled, she eased out of the apartment, shutting the door quietly behind her and heading slowly back downstairs, carefully not looking at Christoph on the way.

  When she got to the first floor, Ashi was in the midst of running away from something. Again. Probably John.

  Not terribly pleased, she waited a moment to see who was after him this time. When Analie rocketed out the door behind him, she blinked in shock, wondering what the hell he did to set her off. With an unheard sigh, she rushed forward to interpose herself and keep Analie from tearing Ashi to bits.

  Analie stopped short when the shadow blocked her path. The outline and paper-cutout shadows had a hazy filling, like an out-of-focus picture. Analie sucked in a lungful of air and snarled warningly.

  Christoph blinked as Ashi, bleeding, bolted past him. Christoph turned to Jessica’s door and knocked a little more urgently.

  Jessica surged to her feet, threw her pencil down, and opened the door. She wasn’t expecting company so she was only wearing an old T-shirt and some loose jeans, her hair unkempt, and making no effort to hide the fresh, tiny bite marks on her neck. She slumped against the door and offered a tired, but nonetheless welcoming, smile.

  “Hi, Christoph. What’s up? What was all that noise a little while ago?”

  “I broke a door. Can I come in? Right now?” Christoph asked quickly.

  Jessica’s eyes widened. “Yeah. Sure. Just don’t break any of my stuff please.”

  She stepped aside so Christoph could come in, then moved to the kitchen, gesturing for him to follow. She nudged a chair out for him, and wearily settled into her own.

  “Thanks,” Christoph said, sitting down. He eyed her neck. “Are you okay?”

  Jessica dragged the textbook she’d been working on closer, shoving some papers in to save her page and shutting it with a thump. She smiled at Christoph, a lazy, pleased grin that said more than words that she was still feeling the afterglow.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little wiped. I’ll be okay in an hour or so.”

  She eyed him thoughtfully, arching a brow at the bruises and splinters. “What’s up? Did you need help with something?”

  “Yeah. I don’t know how to properly apologize to Mouse and I was wondering if you could help me figure something out.”

  Mouse waved frantically at Analie to calm down. When she tried to slip past to give chase to Ashi, Mouse matched her movements, blocking her path. She didn’t want to get caught up in more fighting, but she would knock Analie on her ass if she didn’t stop. She was not in the mood.

  Analie finally realized she wasn’t going to get past—Mouse. Oh, crap. The last person she needed to freak out and make feel bad was Mouse. She backed off, her claws shrinking and fangs retreating, the gold dissipating in her eyes.

  “Sorry,” she muttered, brushing her hands through her hair to get it to lay flat. “Ashi tried to pull some dominance crap with me and I sorta flipped.” She hung her head, embarrassed.

  Mouse relaxed and reached out to give Analie a light pat on the shoulder to show there were no hard feelings. She even managed to dredge up a smile. Gesturing for Analie to go back into the apartment, she went inside and headed straight to the kitchen to make tea. Not for Analie, who she’d figured out didn’t like the stuff, but for herself.

  Analie went to the bathroom to wash Ashi’s blood from under her fingernails, then to the kitchen to grab a cookie. They were Chinese almond cookies, and she was quite pleased with how they turned out.

  “I wish you could meet the rest of the pack. Ashi is a bad example of a Goliath. Hell, he barely has Were instincts. He doesn’t care if he sleeps out in the open on top of a bed, he doesn’t scent for stuff, he doesn’t like getting close to people—it’s ridiculous. He’ll kill you if you try to scratch his head or anything.” Analie brightened. “Hey, that reminds me—if you rub the back of Christoph’s head—like under the hair—he practically goes comatose. Try it sometime, he’ll totally do anything for it.”

  Mouse leaned against the counter, waiting for the water to come to a boil on the stove. She watched, eyes heavily lidded, feeling warm and sated, as Analie moved around. Her interest was piqued by that tidbit about Christoph, too. Not that she thought he’d be interested in her touching him, which sent a brief pang of regret through her. She dragged a pad and pencil over, scrawling out a few words. She didn’t feel terribly bad writing them; it was more a fact of life.

  I don’t think your pack would be too happy to meet me. We’re not very popular with your kind.

  “Yeah, you’re right.” Analie sighed. “But you guys are so different from California vampires. Like the Weres here are different from California Weres. Like, way different. Anyway, try the head scritches on Christoph. Don’t freak out if he crams against you. We all do that. You should see UFC nights. We can get eight people on a loveseat.”

  Mouse nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. She wrote a bit more, gave the page to Analie, then poured her tea. Her expression had turned very neutral, and she gave no sign of how much writing those last few words hurt.

  Very different.

  I don’t think Christoph will want me to touch him after what happened yesterday.

  His apology notwithstanding, she’d seen the horror on his face when she’d tried to make sure he was okay.

  Jessica gave a rather unladylike snort of laughter at Christoph’s request.

  “Sure. Question for you, though. You may not like it.”

  At his wary nod, her smile faded, some of the amusement dying out of her eyes. She leaned forward so she could watch his reaction very carefully.

  “Honestly, really, do you like Mouse? Enough to ever let her bite you? I’m not talking about this minute, but at some point in the future. Think hard on it before you answer me, because this is important.”

  Analie laughed. “Jeez, Mouse! He’s gonna get over it, totally! I’m sorry I laughed, but you haven’t seen two Goliaths go at it. Like, go at it
for real. One challenges the other and the next thing you know, there’s blood and fur and chunks of each other going flying every which way, with a ton of property damage to boot. Anyone who gets in the way is obliterated. Even cubs. Everyone gets the hell outta Dodge when two Goliaths start fighting.”

  She hopped up and grabbed another cookie. “Christoph’s just learning to deal. Pretty soon he’s going to look at it like a dominance battle. A really tiny one, at that. Seriously, Mouse. We’re tough, that’s pretty much the point of our pack. The only thing that really scares us is being alone. Just be friendly with him and you’ll see how cool he is with you.”

  Christoph did think on it, long and hard. He was silent for a good ten minutes, staring at the kitchen table. Jessica didn’t interrupt.

  “Honestly,” he said slowly, “I don’t know Mouse. I mean, she’s very nice. And she saved my ass. But hell, I’ve been here for what, a week? I don’t really know her.”

  He paused before continuing. “As for the biting, I’m not going to lie, the idea scares me. But out of everyone in the house, I’d be most okay with Mouse biting me.” He shuddered involuntarily. “Sorry. I’m still getting used to this. This is a huge mind-fuck. I’m trying to deal. It’s hard without my pack.”

  Jessica reached out to set a hand lightly over his on the table, giving a reassuring squeeze. “Thank you for your honesty. Now, here’s my honest answer.

  “Reluctance is understandable. You’re in a new place, with new things, and, yeah, I’d think you were out of your mind if you weren’t scared about being bit for the first time. It’s the ones who are eager for it that worry me.” She lowered her eyes, toying with the papers on the table. “And you’re right, Mouse is very nice. However, she’s also very sensitive about what she is. More than any Other I’ve ever met. If it’s going to be too much for you to handle, don’t apologize. Just stay away from her. Even if you don’t like the idea, let somebody else assume the claim.”

  At his look, she met his eyes unflinching, remaining calm and matter-of-fact despite the words coming out of her mouth and the seriousness of the situation.

  “I’d rather see her unhappy for a few days over losing you than tearing herself apart like she did last night because you’ll never let her near you. Find someone else, like Sebastian or Clarisse, who will be patient and understanding if you’re too scared to let them touch you for a while. Don’t do it to Mouse. She doesn’t deserve that.”

  Mouse had confided in Jessica last night what had been bothering her about the fighting and Christoph’s reaction, and had thought she’d gotten something of a handle on herself. Obviously not. Her eyes burned like she was tearing up again, and she quickly turned around to face the counter, masking the wiping at her eyes like she was getting more honey out of the cabinet. Judging by the look Christoph had given her when she laid her hands on him, being alone was not the only thing that scared Goliaths.

  She didn’t want to go into another long explanation, so she just jotted down a few words, not really believing them.

  Maybe you’re right.

  Christoph scrubbed at the stubble on his face, looking thoughtful. It wasn’t a common expression for him.

  “What’s it like to get bitten?” he asked.

  Analie smiled at Mouse. “Trust me. Or, hey, next time you meet him, just shoulder-bump him. Like this.” She made sure Mouse wasn’t holding hot tea before tilting sideways and thumping her shoulder against the vampire’s. “Since there’s a height difference, you’re probably going to want to go for his side so you don’t hit him in the gut or the kidney.”

  She grabbed a third cookie and headed out of the kitchen. “I gotta finish my homework. Think about it, okay?”

  Mouse blinked at the shoulder-bump thing. There was a familiarity to it that made her smile, just a little.

  With a sigh, she relaxed and reached out to ruffle Analie’s hair. She nodded, then paused, considering something. Soon her hands were fluttering, then scrabbling for her pad. She gestured frantically for Analie to wait, then rapidly scribbled down something else. Which she frowned over, crossed out into a big, black smudge, and wrote something else. Also crossed out until it was completely illegible. Frustrated, she put down just a few words, and finally handed it over.

  Should I let him go?

  While obviously unhappy about it, she shifted her weight impatiently from foot to foot, waiting anxiously for Analie’s answer.

  “Kind of like sex,” Jessica waggled her brows and gave him a lopsided grin. “The first time hurts a little, but you get the hang of it pretty quick, and it feels damned good once you get past the ‘holy cow, this is awkward’ stage.”

  Analie frowned. “No, I don’t think you should. Honestly, Mouse, I think you’re the coolest person here and I don’t want Christoph getting bitten by anyone else. Just sayin’.”

  “I don’t know if that makes it better or worse,” Christoph said. He was silent for a while before he started singing, “Like a virgin...chomped for the very first time...” He rubbed his face, sighing. “Sorry. I get weird when I’m wigging out. I’ll try to get over this really quick. I’d rather stay with Mouse.”

  His reaction was so ridiculous Jessica had to smother a laugh with her hand. “Sorry. Okay, just… be nice to her, please? Hell, out of anybody here, she’s the least likely to back you into a corner. Just don’t drag it out forever so she doesn’t turn into a PMS machine.”

  She paused, then grinned again. “Besides, I’ve still got twenty dollars on three weeks.”

  Mouse was so surprised at Analie’s answer, she didn’t react right away. As soon as the shock wore off, she snagged Analie up in a fierce hug, more reassured than she’d been by hours of “girl talk” with Jessica last night.

  Analie immediately hugged Mouse right back, giving her shoulder a quick nuzzle. It was the closest pack-like gesture she’d received since leaving home, and for a Were used to constantly being in physical contact with friends, it meant quite a lot to her.

  Mouse beamed at her, though Analie couldn’t see it.

  Maybe things would turn out all right after all.

  Christoph nodded, grinning like a wolf. “Okay. Smack me upside the head if I’m an ass again—I don’t always know.” He got up. “Thank you. That was a big help. I’m going to go pick pieces of door out of my arms and back now.” He paused. “Who do I tell about this sort of thing?”

  “You got it. And… err… I’ll take care of it. I don’t think now’s a good time for you or Ashi to be talking to John.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ashi woke up at six a.m. sharp and immediately showered. Washing would dull his scent. It also gave him time to go over his plans. After the shower, he dressed in his old sweats, a light shirt, tied a jacket around his waist, and put on his shoes. Then he prodded Christoph awake.

  “M’go ’way,” Christoph mumbled into his pillow. “Mus ’as claim…”

  “Get up or I’ll haul you downstairs and throw you into John’s apartment,” Ashi hissed.

  Christoph lifted his head and blinked slowly. “What do you want?”

  “I’m getting out of here. Get dressed. You’re coming with me.”

  Christoph put his head back down. “Mmmm—no.”

  “What?” Ashi prodded him sharply. “Why not?”

  “Knee hurts,” Christoph mumbled. “And Analie is bringing home some lamb tonight.”

  Ashi grabbed one of Christoph’s shirts and stormed to the kitchen. So much for having Christoph along to draw the vampires away from himself. He packed bottled water into the shirt and tied it into a makeshift backpack. He drank a glass of orange juice with eggs in it and headed down to the first floor. He hoped no one was up and about at this odd hour.

  Unfortunately for Ashi, there was always someone on guard duty.

  One thing was in his f
avor. It was Lisa’s turn to take the late evening through mid-afternoon shift. She was bored out of her skull—she’d been on watch since one in the morning, and had a number of hours to go. She was in her apartment with the door open, reading a paperback instead of keeping watch in the foyer like she was supposed to.

  Once in the first floor hallway, Ashi took off his shoes and crept along like a ninja, breathing as lightly as possible. After he was outside there was nothing they could do—the vampires would burn into ash in seconds.

  If Gregory had been truthful about that.

  Lisa heard him creeping down the hall.

  She was a bit too involved in reading a scene where the hero gave his full attention to freeing the heroine’s heaving bosoms from the constraints of a corset to bother investigating.

  Ashi almost didn’t believe it when he put his hand on the doorknob of the front door. He turned it slowly, very quietly, and all but leapt into the morning light. He shut the door behind him, put on his shoes, and started jogging. He’d warm up for about thirty minutes, then start pounding the pavement.

  He headed south.

  Ken was wide awake. He and Reece were seated at the glass and chrome table just outside the kitchen. Reece fussed with the flower arrangement while they talked.

  “Okay, so they look good in a suit. So what? Have they ever worked this scene before?”

  “No,” Ken said, crestfallen. “They’re just for show, eye-candy. Alec wants them doing something to earn their keep.”