Silent Cravings

by E. Blix

  She was very glad she was pink and flat-faced right now. If she’d still had her Were qualities, she would have been bristling.

  “Aw, man. I don’t know, guys. He’ll never volunteer himself.” She frowned as if in thought, but was actually trying very hard to suppress a massive shudder. “Mouse, I think you should just ask. This might sound weird, but start with ‘I beseech you, a favor if you will.’”

  Everyone was giving her a funny look.

  “It’s the formal way to ask for something in Goliath. If the Were likes you, they won’t refuse if you preface your request with that statement. It’s an honor and a pleasure to aid a friend.”

  If Christoph found out she’d told Mouse that, she was going to be mauled.

  Mouse was not terribly happy to be part of this conversation. She’d edged her way to the back of the group and made a face when everyone turned to look at her. She made an irritated gesture when Clarisse folded her arms.

  “It’s not dumb,” Reece said, seeming appalled at her response. “It’s just… different than you’re used to.”

  Clarisse didn’t seem impressed either. “Mouse, are ye ever going tae ask the lad?”

  Mouse threw up her hands and stalked toward the door, trying to flee without having to answer. Angus casually got in her way so she couldn’t escape.

  “Well, lass?” he asked, beard bristling as he grinned.

  She huffed silently at the much larger vampire, gesturing impatiently that he should move. He did nothing of the sort, the others looking on with mild amusement and barely hidden curiosity, awaiting her answer.

  This was like getting grilled by the pack when something was afoot that you didn’t want to talk about. Analie felt sympathy for Mouse, but wasn’t about to step in and call attention to herself. Besides, she was just as curious as the others.

  Mouse looked very much like she would like to strangle Angus, if only she could reach his neck.

  The others started goading and encouraging her to answer, and she finally snapped, signing something with savage jerks of her hands. Judging by the satisfied looks on the others’ faces, she’d just agreed to go ask him, though as soon as Angus moved out of her way she disappeared, the sound of her apartment door slamming coming only a moment later.

  Clarisse laughed. “Bets are on for how long it takes her tae do it.”

  “Twenty dollars on tomorrow night,” Reece said.

  “Fifty on two hours from now,” said Wes.

  Angus grinned. “Fifty bucks on an hour and a half.”

  Analie had been Mouse’s satellite up until now, carefully making sure to stay near her at all times. Now she was hanging out in room full of relatively unfamiliar vampires. It made her jittery.

  “Five dollars on one hour,” Analie spoke up.

  So far she’d bet ten dollars total on the two wagers. That was big money for her, and she dearly hoped she’d win at least one. It looked like she was going to have to dip into her savings account for Freddy’s upcoming birthday.

  Wes glanced at Analie. “Can I switch to an hour, too?”

  Clarisse smirked. “Sure, why not?”

  “I’ll keep watch,” Wes said, grinning.

  “Excellent! I’m going tae watch a movie. Ye lot can join me while we wait, if ye like.”

  “Aye,” Angus replied.

  “I’ve got to finish getting ready for work, but thanks,” Reece said, waving and heading out.

  “I want to see a movie!” Analie said, excited. It had been a while since she’d watched something. Her Saturday movie nights with Freddy had been abruptly cut short and even though he visited, they hadn’t built up the courage to ask anyone for the use of their television.

  Clarisse led the way back to her apartment, ignoring Lisa’s sour look. The other vampire left, taking refuge in the foyer. Angus immediately made himself comfortable on her couch, and vetoed every movie Clarisse mentioned until she chose one in exasperation that sounded suitably violent for his tastes.

  An hour later, Wes came rushing in.

  “She did it! Ha! Pay up!”

  Clarisse blinked, pausing the movie. “Aye?”

  “You bet your ass.”

  “The proof?”

  “I just saw her go upstairs looking like she was going to her own funeral. What the hell else would she be doing?”

  “Ha! So she hasn’t asked him. Not yet.”

  Wes groaned and ran his hand down his face. “Come on.”

  “It’s as good as done if she asks him,” Analie told Clarisse. “He won’t refuse her. Betcha anything.”

  Mouse stopped outside Christoph’s apartment, gritting her teeth in frustration. She figured Clarisse had started a betting pool on this, too, and wasn’t too happy about it. She wanted to get it over with so she wouldn’t have to listen to the sly comments and questions anymore.

  If he said no, well… fine. Then the rest of the house would bug him to give in instead.

  “She might procrastinate past the hour. I’ll bet ye she twiddles her thumbs outside the door, or leaves and comes back later,” Clarisse declared.

  “Ye’re ruddy daft, woman!” Angus said.

  “Am not!”

  “Are!”

  “Not!”

  Mouse eventually summoned the courage to knock on the door. She almost fled right then and there. For once, she was grateful both for the fact that she was a vampire—no blush would mar her skin—and that she was mute. She wouldn’t have to stammer out the words; she could just write what she wanted to say without risking sounding like an idiot.

  Ashi ignored the knock. Whoever it was most likely wasn’t there to see him and, if they were, they could wait on someone else to answer the door.

  “But if Christoph answers the door, she has to stick around,” Analie pointed out. “She can’t just bolt with him right there.”

  Christoph tossed the magazine he was reading onto the nightstand. The least he could do as a guest was get the door when someone knocked. He headed out of the room, running his fingers through his curly hair. It had broken free from its chemical prison once he’d taken a shower, and it was coiled and ready to strike at the next comb that came near it.

  He opened the door and smiled broadly at Mouse. Of all the people who could have been at the door, she was the one he wanted to see most.

  “Don’t underestimate the power of her timid nature,” Clarisse drawled. “She might make excuses and run off, then come back later when she’s less embarrassed. I’ve seen her do it before.”

  Mouse stood there for a moment with a deer-in-headlights expression plastered across her face.

  Eventually, she realized that she must look like an idiot by standing there not doing anything and jerked into motion. She had written a note earlier, downstairs in her apartment, and held it out to him with one hand, ducking her head and covering her eyes with the other. If she’d still been alive, she would’ve been beet red right at that moment.

  I’m really, really sorry to ask but everyone keeps bugging me and I wanted to know if we could please just get it over with.

  She hadn’t been thinking too clearly when she wrote the note, but chances were good he’d figure out what she meant by “it” soon enough. As soon as he took the paper, she retreated a few steps back, still not looking at him.

  “Bet she didn’t. I’ll bet she asks him.”

  “Ye can’t know she did.”

  “Why don’t ye go look, ye silly bints?” Angus said.

  “She needs to do this on her own, ye ken.”

  “I donae see how that matters.”

  “It’s ’cause you’re an oaf with no finesse, and nae thoughts but where yer next lay is coming from.”

  “…so? Wha’s tha’ have tae do with it?”
/>
  Christoph read the note, blinked, glanced at Mouse, looked over the note again, then looked at Mouse with a big smile. When he spoke, his tone was cheery. His posture was relaxed.

  These were things a warrior learned to affect when feeling things such as terror.

  “Yeah, okay. My place or yours?”

  “Christoph would follow, though,” Analie put in. “That’s what he’d do with any lady Were in the pack. Mouse shouldn’t be that different in his point of view.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Clarisse said, frowning. “He seemed pretty nervous about the subject.”

  “She’s a pretty lass askin’ him tae do something intimate. He’ll follow her.” Angus sounded quite sure of himself.

  “Why’s that?”

  “Thinkin’ he’ll get in ’er knickers.”

  Mouse peeked at Christoph through her fingers in confusion. She’d expected him to either become terribly nervous or at least be as embarrassed as she was.

  Flustered, she straightened. Knowing Ashi was there helped decide the matter. The last thing she wanted was witnesses. She beckoned he follow her, all the while studiously avoiding his gaze and keeping some distance between them. This wasn’t working out the way she’d thought it would at all.

  “Okay, whoa, besides the wrongness of talking about my longtime rival’s personal life, that is not at all how a Goliath gets a girlfriend.” Analie shook her head.

  Don’t panic. Keep it cool. Keep smiling. Don’t tense up. It’s like getting a shot. Or giving blood. It’s exactly like giving blood. It is giving blood. Oh, god. It’s giving—

  No. Calm, relaxed, like the ocean... the gentle waves of the ocean. Calm and peaceful. Breathing normal. Heart normal. Oh, look, stairs. Walk down the stairs. Nice and easy. Relaxed.

  Oh God, we’re almost there! No! No! Calm, like the ocean, like a Zen sand garden, like gently drifting snowflakes... collected, peaceful, just going with the flow.

  Look at Mouse. Isn’t she nice? Nice Mouse. She’s pretty, too. Pretty, nice Mouse. She’s got big boobs. Whoa, whoa, heart rate normal! Slow down... slow down... nice and relaxed...

  I swear to God, if that’s Analie poking her head out the door I’m going to murder—

  Ocean, Christoph. OCEAN!

  “Who said anything about a girlfriend?”

  Clarisse put her head in her hands in exasperation at Angus’ thick-headedness.

  Mouse shot a dirty look at whoever was watching them down the hall. She wanted to get out of sight as fast as possible. Unlike just about everybody else in the building, she could not find it in herself to be casual about feeding on someone. It was too intimate an act.

  Once inside, she stepped aside, rubbing the back of her neck as she tried to find some not-too-awkward way to get around her embarrassment and get this over with. Lord knew how Christoph would react once he knew what it felt like to get bitten.

  Taking a hissing breath between her teeth to steady her nerves, she edged over to sit on the couch, plucking up her trusty pad and a pencil to ask the most awkward question of all.

  Do you have a preference where I do it?

  Once again, she wouldn’t look at him when she held out the note, keeping her eyes covered with her other hand.

  “I so win this bet,” Analie said, watching Christoph and Mouse disappear into the apartment.

  She looked back at Angus. “There are ways to go about having a ‘fling’ as well, and let me tell you, there’s a whole system to it.” She paused. “Not that I know the system.”

  She really didn’t.

  Christoph read the note and shrugged.

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  “I don’t know. The only experience I’ve had are vampire movies and John coming up to the apartment.”

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  “I guess it’s up to you where.”

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  “I’m fine with whatever.”

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  “Though sometimes my right arm gets twingy from an incident with silver I had once.”

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  “But otherwise, hey, go for it.”

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OCEAN-OCEAN-OCEAN-VERY-CALM-RIGHT-NOW!

  Clarisse quirked a brow. “A system? Why is there a system?”

  Angus was also confused. “It’s a fling, lass, not a commitment.”

  Christoph was taking this better than Mouse expected. His heart rate had accelerated, but not so much that she was concerned. Some measure of fear was only natural, of course.

  Since this was his first time, she thought it might be best to go for his wrist. To get to his neck, she’d either have to straddle his waist or have him practically hanging over her lap, and that was just too awkward to consider. Maybe some other time when they weren’t so incredibly nervous.

  Figuring the least she could do would be to put him at ease, she held out a hand for him to sit on the couch with her. She tucked one of her legs under her so she could face him, frowning at his mention of being hurt by silver.

  “Well, yeah,” Analie said, “but think of it this way. If you come on too strong to a human, you get slapped. If a Were comes on too strong, he gets his face torn to pieces. It’s not a huge, multi-stepped process like proper courting, but there’s a trick to it so the guy doesn’t get mauled.”

  Christoph decided he could have a heart attack later—he didn’t want to make Mouse uncomfortable or freak her out.

  Freak her out? He felt like he was staring down a firing squad and all the guns were loaded with silver bullets. He couldn’t acknowledge the fear. He had to stay calm.

  He noticed her frown. “Someone tried to ‘banish’ me. It’s a weird story, I’ll tell it to you later.”

  He didn’t trust his voice to stay steady.

  Mouse nodded, though she was still a trifle concerned. She lightly placed her hand against his cheek, looking up to meet his eyes.

  I’m sorry, she mouthed, hoping he would accept the words for what they were. She didn’t want to hurt or scare him, didn’t want to drag him through painful memories, and truly wished him no ill. The last thing she wanted was to make what she was about to do any harder on him than she had to.

  “Sounds like ye play rough,” Clarisse said, surprised.

  Angus seemed speculative. Very speculative.

  Analie shrugged. “You don’t want a total weenie for a mate. You want a guy who will defend you and your cubs. If the guy backs off the moment you bare your teeth, he’s not worth it. It’s a bit different if you’re not looking for a mate, but even so, no girl wants a coward.”

  Christoph didn’t have anything to say. He didn’t want Mouse to feel bad, but he wasn’t in a condition to do much about it.

  He hoped to God that he wouldn’t be a total weenie when he was bitten.

  Mouse took one of his hands in both of her own. She ran her fingers lightly along his wrist and palm, hoping it might help him relax if he saw she wasn’t about to tear into him like a rabid dog.

  When she lifted his hand, she pressed it to her cheek. While it left his wrist frightfully close to her mouth, she kept her eyes on his, one hand held over his own, the other again resting against his jaw.

  Trust me, she mouthed, the sincerity reflected in her eyes, even if she couldn’t speak the words aloud.

  She turned into his wrist and sank her fangs in, doing what she could to keep the bite as quick and clean as she could.

  “Aye, that sounds about right.”

  Angus still seemed to be lost in speculation. Except that he had a very unnerving smile making his beard bristle now.

  At first it hurt. Christoph had been expecting that. Even in his flat-faced state, it wasn’t bad. Vampire fangs were obviously n
ot meant to be the stabbing, shredding meat hooks that werewolf fangs were.

  Despite what Ashi had said after John bit him, Christoph was completely unprepared for how good it felt after the initial shock faded. Agonizing pain would have been more welcome—at least it would have validated everything he’d ever been told about being bitten. It was supposed to burn like mad, as if you had liquid fire pouring into your veins. It was never supposed to feel like this.

  Analie eyed Angus warily. A smile like that could never be a good thing.

  “...what? Why are you grinning like that?”

  Clarisse slapped her hand over Angus’ mouth before something vile could spill out, shaking her head in warning. “Don’t ever ask ʼim something like that, lass. Ye don’t want tae know what will come out.”

  Mouse didn’t take very much, nor did she stay latched to his wrist for very long.

  Withdrawing, she carefully pulled away, only a few tiny beads of blood welling from the bite. She curled both her hands around Christoph’s palm, cradling it in her lap as she anxiously looked up at him, awaiting his reaction.

  Christoph was a little woozy, but it was the adrenaline rush fading rather than from blood loss. It had ended a lot sooner than he thought it would. All in all it hadn’t been that bad. Unnerving, frightening—but not the end of the world. At least he hadn’t been cornered and bitten like Ashi had, or had a meltdown of epic proportions. It was the best possible outcome of the worst possible situation.