“Bye, Jayden.”
She waved as the truck pulled away, then a movement on the side of the house drew her attention. Otis cocked his ears and glanced at her, his black eyes strangely expressive. The dog was a mystery to her, always hanging around like he was tied to the ranch and this family, but never coming close enough to truly belong.
EJ remained convinced he could turn the stray dog into a pet, but Nate repeatedly reminded him the dog would eventually need to be captured and taken to the county shelter. She found it hard to believe Nate could so easily give up the animal that seemed to be devoted to Sugar and had also rescued EJ, but maybe that was wishful thinking.
She felt a little bit like a stray in the world. With Eddie gone, there was no one to claim her. She’d come to the ranch—to Nate—and while she’d never admit to needing rescuing, she definitely wanted a place to belong.
She wanted to belong to Nate.
Yet would he discard her the way he seemed willing to do with the dog?
As Nate and EJ approached, she shook off her ridiculous thoughts. They both knew this arrangement was temporary. It was silly to pretend anything different.
“I miss Sugar.” EJ leaned against Nate’s leg. Nate immediately bent down and swung the boy up into his arms.
“She’ll be back in a couple of weeks, and you have Twix to take care of while she’s gone.”
“And Otis,” EJ said, pointing to where the black-and-tan dog was trotting toward the barn.
“We need to stop feeding him,” Nate said, “or call in the humane society to help catch him.”
“No,” EJ cried. “You can’t let them take him away, Mr. Nate. I need him.”
The ferocity in her son’s tone was a shock. “EJ, you know Otis doesn’t belong to us. If Nate wants—”
“Never mind,” Nate interrupted, as if he couldn’t stand to upset the boy. “We’ll deal with the dog at another time. I’m in no hurry.”
EJ gave a hiccupping sigh. “I need him,” he repeated and rested his head on Nate’s shoulder.
The sight melted Bianca’s heart and she swallowed back the emotion that clogged her throat.
“Aren’t we a glum bunch?” Nate asked with a rough laugh. “How about we go into town tonight? We can have dinner at Rosa’s then get ice cream at the soda counter in the grocery store.”
Bianca smiled. “Convenient that both businesses are in the same building.”
“The blessings of small-town life,” Nate said with a wink.
EJ lifted his head. “Can I get two scoops?”
“With whipped cream and a cherry,” Nate promised then quickly added, “as long as it’s okay with your mom.”
“It’s a two-scoop kind of day.” Bianca leaned in and placed a soft kiss on EJ’s cheek, trying to ignore how right it felt to be standing here with Nate holding her son. Trying to pretend that this didn’t feel like the family she’d always craved.
* * *
What made Nate think it would be easier if they went into Paseo for the night? He hadn’t anticipated that Bianca was already a part of the community. Yes, she’d made trips into town during her stay to work on her new business venture. But he’d forgotten how welcoming the people who lived here could be, generous in their willingness to wrap their arms around a stranger and make her one of their own.
That’s what had saved his mother when she’d come through town, alone and pregnant with triplets. And clearly Bianca had made a place here just as quickly.
Rosa greeted her like an old friend when they moved from the gas station/grocery to the restaurant housed in the back. Just as many people stopped by their table to talk to him as they came to visit with her. She seemed uncomfortable with the attention, but at the same time radiated happiness as she deepened the connections she’d made on her visits to town.
Everyone clearly approved of her, and moreover people seemed thrilled to see him out with a woman, even though it could hardly be called a date with her son in tow. Well, everyone but Tiffany Garcia, who’d moved back to Paseo last year after a difficult divorce. She spent the evening shooting death glares at him from across the tiny restaurant. Nate and Tiffany had gone on a couple of dates, although nothing had come of it. He hadn’t thought he wanted anything more than a casual encounter, at least not until Bianca arrived on his doorstep. Tiffany obviously wasn’t happy he’d changed his tune.
Had he changed?
Could he change?
The questions and doubts warring in his mind had plagued him through dinner, although between Bianca and EJ they more than kept the conversation going.
The boy reacted with wide-eyed wonder at the size of the ice-cream sundae Rosa made for him, and Nate managed to quiet some of his uncertainty. If only everything in his life could be fixed with a double-scoop ice-cream sundae.
Bianca talked even more on the way home, sharing stories of her childhood and the exploits she could remember from Eddie’s teen years. Nate’s anxiety subsided even more, and he matched her anecdotes with tales of his own. Eddie might have been wild, but between the three Fortune brothers, there had been plenty of mischief.
He laughed as he told one particular story of when the boys decided to make an after-school snack of brownies. “None of us was particularly neat, so when chocolate batter got all over the kitchen, we decided to clean it up with dish soap. But Grayson accidentally stepped in it and discovered how slick soap can be on a linoleum floor. Of course we had to make a skating rink and poured the entire bottle onto the floor. It was like Olympic speed skating until Mom walked in.”
EJ cracked up from his booster in the back seat of Nate’s truck and Bianca had gasped, then shook her head.
“I can’t believe it,” she whispered in horror. “What did your mom do?”
“As I remember she was about ready to kill all of us just on principle.”
“That’s funny,” EJ shouted.
Bianca choked back a laugh. “I don’t think you should share any more stories.” She grinned at him then rolled her eyes. “I’m not even sure I should let my son near you.”
Nate returned her smile but her words ripped into him like bullets tearing through flesh. She shouldn’t let EJ near him. Or at least she shouldn’t trust him as much as she did. He wanted to be a permanent part of her and EJ’s lives so badly he could taste the need like the first bite of a summer strawberry on his tongue. It was sweet and a little tangy, almost unfamiliar even though it felt like he’d been missing the flavor forever.
He listened more than he talked the rest of the way home, then made a stupid excuse about needing to run to a neighbor’s place when they stopped in front of the house.
Bianca frowned as she got out of the truck, her mouth pulling down at both corners. Damn, he wanted to kiss the smile back onto her face.
“I’ll see you later?” she asked hopefully. “EJ’s going to go to bed soon.”
“I’m not tired, Mommy,” the boy said as he unbuckled his seat belt. “I had too much sugar.”
“You’re fine,” Bianca told him then looked to Nate. “Later?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. But it could take a while. Don’t wait up.”
She looked like a puppy he’d just scolded. “Okay,” she said with a too-bright smile. “Thanks again for dinner.”
He cursed himself as ten kinds of a jerk as he watched her walk in the house. Then he drove away, gravel spitting up from his back tires as he plowed his foot into the gas pedal. He drove like he used to when he was a stupid teenager. Too fast. Too reckless.
He peeled out onto the highway, turning away from town and feeling adrenaline spike in his veins. He recognized the sensation, had spent years as a SEAL shaping it, controlling it, learning to use it to his advantage. Now he was going off the rails over nothing more than dinner and an ice cream.
The truck slowed as he took his foot of
f the accelerator and pulled onto the shoulder. A few deep breaths in and out helped him get things under control again. It was more than their night out. Bianca had made a comment about trusting him with EJ, and while Nate understood she’d meant it as a joke, the truth of her words burned in his gut.
He was no longer a kid who could afford to be reckless. Bianca and EJ needed him. He owed it to Eddie to be there for them. Hell, he wanted the two of them to be able to count on him. He longed to give Bianca the happiness she deserved and to be a father figure to EJ.
But he wouldn’t do either of them any good like this. He pulled back out onto the highway and drove at a normal speed this time. For a moment he entertained the thought of heading back to Paseo and texting Tiffany. Maybe if he found an outlet for the need and desire pulsing through him, he could make some sense of everything else in his life. But he dismissed the idea almost as soon as it entered his mind.
He might not have the guts to claim Bianca, but he knew himself well enough to understand that no other woman would be a substitute for her.
He drove for another hour, counting headlights on the highway and listening to country music on the station out of Wichita Falls. A mix of relief and disappointment filled him as he returned home to a darkened house. It was better that way, he’d told himself, even though the lie was harder to stomach with every day that passed.
Instead of entering the house, he headed to the barn, not surprised to see Otis trotting around the edge of the corral. The dog was already waiting for Sugar’s return. Nate whistled low, and the animal’s ears twitched. He turned and slowly walked into a pale sliver of moonlight, near enough that Nate knew he was responding but not close enough to touch.
“She’ll be back in a couple of weeks,” Nate said as the dog looked toward the house and let out a pitiful whine. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you?”
The dog cocked his head and met Nate’s gaze, as if to say, “Takes one to know one, buddy.”
Nate laughed softly and shook his head. What the hell was going on that he was imagining himself having a conversation with a dog? He was worse off than he thought.
He entered the barn and began stacking bales of hay. He didn’t look up as Daisy snickered gently. He stayed focused on the physical labor, waiting for the mindless task to clear his head as it had so many other times.
It was nearly midnight, and the world was quiet other than the faint rustling of the wind and the soft sounds of the animals. Nate had always been a night owl, but growing up on a working ranch had conditioned him for early mornings, and nearly twenty years as a soldier had taught him to take sleep wherever he could find it.
He still appreciated the peace of this late hour, although his brain and body didn’t get the message that they were supposed to relax. He felt like his insides were an engine revving with no clear destination. He remained stubbornly stopped, unable to move forward or go back. His feelings for Bianca roared through him without pause, and he had no idea how to regain control of his life.
Or even if he wanted to.
“Can’t sleep?” a soft voice asked and he whirled around to find Bianca standing in the middle of the row of stalls.
She was so damn beautiful, wearing an oversize sleep shirt with a faded illustration of the Eiffel Tower on the front. Her dark hair was down around her shoulders and her legs were bare. The shirt grazed her knees, and she was wearing her well-worn cowboy boots. At the most there was about six inches of skin showing between the hem of the shirt and the top of her boots. But she might as well have been in a lacy negligee based on the reaction Nate’s body had to her.
He almost laughed at the irony of the hours he’d spent working to clear his mind. Because right now he couldn’t form even the suggestion of a coherent thought. His brain had gone totally blank.
“Haven’t tried yet,” he said, pulling off his leather gloves and tossing them onto one of the hay bales. He wiped his hands across his jeans.
“Did you have fun with the neighbor?”
“Didn’t make it to the neighbor’s.”
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “That was never the plan, was it?”
He shook his head.
“You just needed to get away from the ranch?”
“Something like that,” he answered, inclining his head.
“Was it that woman in the restaurant?” Her dark eyes flared as she asked the question. “The one who was staring at you the whole time.”
“Tiffany?”
“I don’t know her name, but she was sending you some ‘come hither’ looks.”
“Come hither,” he repeated with a soft laugh.
“It’s not funny.”
There was a catch in her voice, and he realized with a start she actually thought he’d left the ranch to be with another woman. Maybe it wasn’t funny. Hell, he’d entertained the idea for a lightning-fast second. But it would have been an effort in futility because the only woman he wanted was standing right in front of him.
Still, he couldn’t quite give himself permission to claim her. She was so damn perfect, and he was terrified of contaminating her with the mess in his head.
“No,” he agreed carefully. “And I wasn’t with Tiffany. I drove around for a while to clear my head then came back here and started on a few chores to distract myself.” He took a step toward her then stopped. He could feel his chest rising and falling like he’d just run a marathon. Like he was using every ounce of strength he had to keep from closing the distance between them. “From you.”
She sucked in a breath and bit down on her bottom lip. His knees almost buckled.
“Why?” she whispered.
“Can’t you see how broken I am?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “The things I’ve done, the horrors I’ve seen.” He paused, then added, “The ways I’ve failed the people I care about.”
“We’re all broken in some way,” she said with a sad smile. “But we keep going. You’ve kept going. You’re helping your family because you’re loyal to them.”
“It sounds like you’re describing a family pet.”
Her smile widened. “You’re also hot as hell.” She pressed her hands to her cheeks, as if saying the words out loud embarrassed her. “You make me want things I can’t even name.”
“Try.”
The word hung between them for a few long moments, and he thought she’d walk away rather than give voice to her desires. But his Bianca was braver.
So much braver than him.
“I want you to kiss me.” Her fingers traced her lips then trailed down the graceful column of her neck. “I want to kiss you.” She swallowed. “Everywhere.”
Nate stifled a groan, but she wasn’t finished.
“I want you to touch me and I want to explore your body. I want everything you’re willing to give.”
He closed his eyes, trying to keep his body from trembling. “You’re killing me here, Bianca.”
“Look at me, Nate.”
Nate had never been one for classic literature, but he felt a sudden affinity for that poor sop Odysseus trying to resist the Sirens. He focused his gaze on Bianca, and she must have read in his eyes the desire he was sick of denying.
Her lips curved into a sultry smile as she grabbed the hem of her shirt and tugged the fabric up and over her head. That left her standing in front of him, shivering slightly from the cold evening air, in a pale pink lace bra, cotton panties with smiley face emojis all over them and her cowboy boots. It was the most erotic moment of his whole damn life.
Chapter Ten
As she tossed the comfy cotton shirt off to one side, Bianca glanced down at herself and almost died of embarrassment.
How could a man take an attempt at seduction seriously when the woman seducing him wore smiley face emoji panties?
Of course, she hadn’t come to the barn expectin
g to seduce Nate. She’d been resolved he needed to make the next move if their relationship—if it could be called that—was going to progress to the next level.
But he looked so alone in the quiet night—like he was purposely keeping his distance as some sort of self-induced punishment she couldn’t understand. Somehow she knew deep inside that he needed the connection between them as much as she did.
More even.
So she’d ignored her doubts and thrown caution—and her nightgown—to the wind. But as Nate’s gaze met hers, his face was unreadable. The only thing that made her think he was affected by her impromptu striptease was the slight tremble of his hand as he lifted it to massage the back of his neck. Another of Nate’s tells.
Or was it?
He stared at her for a long time without speaking. Probably only seconds in reality, but the moments felt like hours. Days. Months and years of her being exposed, baring herself for judgment and ultimately rejection.
Oh, God. Bianca couldn’t take any more rejection.
“My bad,” she whispered with a strangled laugh and bent to retrieve her nightgown from the barn’s dirt floor.
“No.”
The word was spoken with such intensity, Bianca froze, her arm stretched out like a statue.
He was in front of her a moment later. She could feel the heat radiating off him, seeping under her skin and warming her entire body. She pulled her arms close to her chest, an automatic reaction, and straightened until she was looking up into Nate’s brown eyes. In the soft light they looked lighter and were rimmed with gold. Or maybe that was the emotion in his gaze.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.
“Having a baby changes your body forever,” she said then mentally kicked herself. Maybe she should grab a tube of lipstick and circle all the flaws on her body in case he hadn’t noticed them.
“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” He circled her wrists with his long fingers and eased them away from her body. She bit back all the excuses that wanted to tumble off her tongue. For her shabby lace bra with the frayed edges to her silly emoji panties. For wanting to seduce him but not having any idea how to go about it and bungling the whole thing.
Her Soldier 0f Fortune (The Fortunes 0f Texas: The Rulebreakers Book 1) Page 10
