The way he was staring at her made her feel like she hadn’t spoiled anything. The mix of desire and tenderness in his eyes made her heart sing.
“The next move was supposed to be yours.”
“I couldn’t make one, even though I wanted to so badly. I’m not good enough for you.” He lifted his hands and grazed his fingers over her collarbones. When he got to her bra straps, he gently pushed them to the edges of her shoulders but no farther. A shiver passed through her as the calluses on his fingertips tickled her bare skin.
“You are,” she countered.
He shook his head, and his gaze remained focused on the patterns his fingers were tracing. “I’ll never be good enough for you. There’s too much of the past that’s—”
“Stop.” She placed her hand against his mouth. “Look at me, Nate.”
He pressed his lips together but lifted his gaze to hers.
She cupped both his cheeks in her hands. “I don’t want to talk about the past tonight. I don’t want to think about the mistakes either of us has made. Trust me, you’re not the only one who’s done stupid things.”
“You have no idea what I’ve done.”
“Are you here with me now in this moment?”
“Yes. I’m here.”
“Then this moment is what we have. It’s all we need. You are all I need, Nathan Fortune.”
His nostrils flared and his eyes intensified even more. He bent his head and claimed her mouth in a kiss that lit her body like a brush fire, fast and all consuming. She was nothing but an empty canvas—a blank landscape for Nate to do with what he would.
He twined his arms around her waist and pulled her tight against him. The soft cotton of his shirt brushed her nipples through her lace bra and she moaned deep in her throat.
“So damn beautiful,” he said against her mouth. She gasped as she felt the evidence of his desire press against her stomach, and he took the opportunity to sweep his tongue into her mouth. This was everything she’d imagined, and she gave herself over to the sensations bursting through her.
Suddenly one of the horses gave a loud whinny, and then a cacophony of answering snorts and whickers rang out in the barn.
Nate stilled, which made Bianca giggle. “We’ve got an audience,” she said, trying to muffle her laughter.
“I love hearing you laugh,” Nate said, grinning down at her, “but right now I could do without the livestock peanut gallery.”
He lifted her into his arms like she weighed nothing, looping one arm behind her knees while he supported her back with the other. She giggled again then settled against him, the warmth of his chest chasing away the evening’s chill as he hurried across the driveway to the house.
She kissed the underside of his jaw, loving the taste of salt on his skin. He tilted up his chin, stumbling a step, then chuckled low in his throat. “Save that thought until we’re in my bedroom, darlin’, or I’m liable to face-plant going up the stairs.”
“I like having that effect on you,” she admitted.
“You have no idea the effect you have on me.” His voice was a low rumble, and it made her tingle from head to toe.
Opening the door to his bedroom, he turned to fit through with her in his arms. The door to Nate’s room had always been closed, and as intrigued as she was, she’d never allowed herself to sneak a peek into it. Somehow that had felt too intimate, like she needed to wait until he invited her in before she could satisfy her curiosity.
“I haven’t changed much in here since I moved back,” Nate said, watching her gaze sweep across the room.
There was a double bed with a colorful patterned quilt, a tall dresser and a simple wood chair pushed against one wall. The walls were painted a soft green and several trophies sat on top of the dresser along with a glass bowl filled with loose change.
“It’s nice,” she said.
“You’re nice,” he countered, pulling back the covers and laying her gently on the sheets.
She shook her head, sitting up and kicking off her boots. She wiggled her bare toes and tried not to let nerves get the better of her. “Not tonight. Tonight I’m wild and crazy.”
“Really?”
Well, wild and crazy to Bianca was ice cream for dinner. But instead of admitting that, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. The straps were already almost off her shoulders and she shrugged them all the way down and tossed the small strip of fabric off the bed.
“Uh-huh,” she said, wishing she could think of something cute or sexy to say. Right now she was trying hard not to spontaneously combust. Sexy talk was beyond her capabilities.
“You’re seriously going to kill me,” Nate whispered, his tone reverent, like she was a fine piece of art or a priceless treasure.
It gave her the confidence to pull her shoulders back and drop her hands to her sides. She’d never put herself on display for a man this way, but she wanted to be someone different with Nate—a woman she barely recognized but enjoyed trying on for size.
The truth was, she’d only been with one man in her life—her ex-husband. She’d been grateful for any attention, but their time together had always been more about his pleasure than hers. Suddenly trying to claim her sexuality felt like skydiving without checking whether her parachute worked. It was exhilarating, but was she in for the mother of all crash landings?
She was already hurtling through the air, so she figured she might as well enjoy as much of the view as she could.
“There’s one problem,” she told him, arching a brow like she knew what the heck she was doing.
“Not from where I’m standing.”
“You have too many clothes on.”
“Easily remedied,” he answered and unbuttoned his shirt. Bianca had gotten a few glimpses of his toned body, but her breath caught in her throat when he pulled the shirt off and tossed it to the side. His chest was all hard planes and angles; a sprinkling of dark hair covering his bronzed skin.
“More,” she whispered, pointing a finger at his jeans.
One side of his mouth kicked up. “Wild, crazy and commanding. I like it.”
He toed off his boots then undid his jeans, pushing them and his boxers down over his hips. Bianca couldn’t even stop the little whimper that escaped her mouth as he moved toward the bed.
She blew out a breath. “Wow.”
Nate grinned. “I’ll take wow.” He climbed on the bed and stretched out next to her. “I’m feeling a little ‘wow’ myself right now.”
Reaching out a hand, she splayed her fingers across his chest, through the dusting of hair covering his skin. The muscles there twitched at her touch, and her hand looked so small against him. Now that she’d seen him—all of him—she realized he was big everywhere. Big enough that she wondered if he’d actually fit. So much for her minute of confidence in the bedroom. She was back to feeling like she had no idea what to do next. She was back to reality. As usual, reality was not her friend.
“Hey.” Nate placed a hand on her hip, squeezing gently. “I lost you there for a minute.”
“Sorry. I was just...um...thinking.”
He dropped a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. “If you’re thinking right now then I’m not doing this right.”
“You are,” she said quickly. “It’s me. I thought I could be someone different tonight but—”
“I don’t want you to be anyone but who you are.” He kissed her, gently sucking her bottom lip into his mouth.
Bianca moaned once and then again as his fingers moved to graze across her belly, then lower.
“Do you want this?” Nate asked against her skin.
“Yes,” she answered without hesitation. “I want everything.”
“Then trust me, darlin’. Trust us.” His head moved lower, blazing a trail of openmouthed kisses down her throat. Then he was at her breast and sh
e gave a tiny cry when he sucked one sensitive nipple into his mouth.
Her body felt like it was melting into the bed, and she relaxed her legs, opening for him. Letting him in. Trusting. She arched back as his clever fingers found her center, even as he moved his attention to her other breast.
Pressure started to build inside her, and she wanted to chase it, to hunt it down and claim whatever brilliance she could feel shimmering on the other side. But Nate seemed in no hurry. He took his time, wringing every ounce of pleasure from her.
“Now,” she whispered when she couldn’t bear it any longer. He claimed her mouth, kissing her deeply as his fingers moved against her, inside her. He was everywhere, and she lost herself in the feel of him. Then she was breaking apart and it felt like a million stars raining down over them, bright and hot and more dazzling than she could have ever imagined.
He broke the kiss to reach across her, pulling a condom packet from the nightstand drawer. She was boneless and satisfied, but as he adjusted himself at her entrance, need built low in her body once more.
“I want everything,” she repeated, lifting her head off the pillow to kiss him.
He entered her as their mouths melded, his tongue mimicking the rhythm of their bodies. She grazed her fingers over his shoulders and down his back, pressing him closer. They moved together, a tangle of limbs. Nate whispered sweet words against her hair then nipped gently on her earlobe.
It nearly sent her over the edge again, but he cupped her face in his hands and whispered, “Wait for me, Bianca.”
She’d wait forever if that’s what it took. If she’d known how easily she’d fall for this man, how tender and sweet he could be...well, she would have gotten in her car and hightailed it to Paseo long before now.
She wrapped her legs around his hips, tilting her own so she could take him even deeper. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to give him the same release he’d given her. She felt a tremor pass through him as he kissed her again.
“You are my everything,” he said, lifting his head to gaze down at her. “You are mine.”
“Yes,” she breathed and broke apart again. Nate groaned as he came and buried his face in the crook of her neck, and it was hard to tell where she stopped and he began.
All Bianca knew was that this moment changed everything. Nothing between them would ever be the same.
* * *
Nate wasn’t sure how much time passed before his breathing slowed and he trusted himself to lift his head and look into Bianca’s dark eyes again.
It could have been minutes. It was probably minutes, but it felt like an eternity to him. Because that’s how long it would take until he regained control of his heart.
Which was stupid because he’d had enough great sex in his life to understand that hearts didn’t need to be involved for bodies to fit together perfectly.
Being with Bianca didn’t change anything, he told himself, even though he knew it was a lie.
“Is it always like that?” she asked, a sleepy grin on her face.
“Not always,” he said.
Never, his brain screamed. Only with you. Only with us.
But how could he tell her that without admitting everything he felt? Hell, he barely understood his emotions for this woman. They were unfamiliar, and the unknown scared him half to death. It was like walking through an Afghanistan landscape that could be breathtaking in its peaceful beauty, and the next moment a land mine would explode and he’d be blown into next week.
He rolled onto his back, taking Bianca with him as he did. Her body curled into his as if she was made to fit against him.
“You’ve got some crazy mad skills,” she said, draping an arm over his chest. She turned into him, and her long dark hair cascaded over her shoulder and spilled across his body. She was soft in all the places he was hard, and he wanted to explore every inch of her until he knew what she liked, the kind of touch and kiss that would drive her crazy. He had the undeniable urge to claim her as his for as long as she’d allow it.
As satisfied as he was at the moment, desire began to spark inside him again, his body humming to life at the thought of taking her again.
“I could say the same about you.”
She laughed and lifted her head. “You’re joking, right? I’ve got no skills and very little experience.”
He shifted so their legs were tangled together and he saw her eyes widen slightly when she felt him against her hip.
“You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever known,” he told her, sifting his fingers through her hair. “I can’t get enough of you.”
She arched a brow. “As in can’t get enough right now?”
“You probably need to sleep. It’s fine. Ignore me.”
But she didn’t ignore him. Instead, she reached between them and... Oh, hell. She was going to send him over the edge with her featherlight touch.
“Do you know an unexpected bonus to being with a single mom?” she asked, her tone teasing.
Right now he could barely come up with his own name.
Her mouth quirked as if she understood the power she held over him and reveled in it. “I’m used to functioning on a tiny bit of sleep.” Her fingers squeezed and he arched off the bed, then reached for the nightstand drawer again.
“Then I’m going to keep you up all night long,” he promised and kissed her again.
Chapter Eleven
Bianca blinked awake and drew in a breath that caught in her throat as she became aware of Nate’s trembling body next to her.
She hadn’t planned on falling asleep in his bed, but after he’d made love to her a second time she’d been so relaxed and happy. He’d wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into his chest so they were spooning, and she’d quickly drifted off.
Grabbing his T-shirt from the floor next to the bed, she pulled it over her head then checked the clock on the nightstand—not even five in the morning. The sky outside the bedroom window was still black, and she wasn’t sure whether she’d woken on her own or if Nate’s restless tossing and turning had prodded her from sleep.
He was sprawled on his back, one hand above his head and the other at his side, fingers clutching the bedsheet. She sat up and her heart ached at his pained features. He looked miserable, his jaw working and his eyes tightly closed as if he was in agony.
“Nate,” she whispered, wondering if he was truly asleep. She hated to think he was stuck in some kind of nightmare he couldn’t escape.
“No,” he muttered. His chest rose and fell and she could hear his breath coming in shallow gasps. “No. Eddie, no.”
Bianca stilled at the mention of her brother. Nate had been with Eddie the night he died. She had so many unanswered questions. Why Eddie? Did he suffer? Was there anything that could have been done to save him?
She couldn’t believe there had been. Surely Nate would have moved heaven and earth to save Eddie if it had been a possibility. She hadn’t asked Nate about that night. It felt intrusive and too personal, like poking her finger in a still-raw wound. She knew he missed her brother as much as she did.
Clearly the night of Eddie’s death plagued Nate. She’d heard of soldiers coming home with post-traumatic stress disorder. Men and women who’d given so much to their country but couldn’t fit back into their regular lives because of the intense trauma they’d encountered while deployed. Nate had been a SEAL for almost twenty years. PTSD could be a reality for him. He didn’t even have a regular life.
Except now they were creating one together.
Bianca wanted that more than anything.
Between what he’d faced as a SEAL and coping with the knowledge that his birth father was Gerald Robinson plus having a passel of instant half siblings strewn across Texas, Nate was dealing with some heavy stuff.
It was up to Bianca to bring light into the darkness he seemed to fe
el was his due.
She reached out a hand and touched his shoulder. His muscles tensed, and he stilled but didn’t open his eyes.
“Nate, wake up.” She gently shook him.
“No,” he repeated, but she could tell by the movement of his eyes behind the closed lids that he remained imprisoned in the nightmare. “Eddie, no.” He let out a desperate cry. “I’m sorry. No.”
Emotion clogged her throat, and she swiped at her eyes. When they’d first gotten the news of Eddie’s death, there had been weeks when Bianca’s dreams were filled with images of Eddie walking in front of her, just out of reach. No matter how fast she ran or how loudly she called to him, she could never catch up. To know Nate had possibly gone through something worse and that his memories continued to hold him in a choking grasp...
It made her feel both closer to him and so sad at how alone he was in the world, despite his extended Fortune family.
If she had her way, neither of them would ever be alone again. She cupped his cheek, leaning over him, letting her hair brush his bare skin. “Nate, come on. Wake up. Come back to me.”
A moment later, she yelped, her heart pounding a crazy beat as she found herself flipped onto her back, Nate looming over her. The look on his face was terrifying. His eyes were open but unfocused, totally empty of any sort of recognition or emotion. He was like some sort of cowboy cyborg, unrecognizable as the man who’d held her so tenderly hours earlier.
“Nate.” She breathed his name through clenched teeth, afraid any sort of movement might set him off. Might put her in real danger.
He blinked once...twice. Sweat beaded along his hairline. With a muttered curse, he threw back the covers and scrambled off the bed, stalking to the edge of the bedroom.
She watched as he bent forward, sucking in air like he’d just run a marathon. Slowly she sat forward, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. He put a hand up, palm facing toward her like he feared she might approach him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse.
Her Soldier 0f Fortune (The Fortunes 0f Texas: The Rulebreakers Book 1) Page 11
