Shades Of Humanity (Surviving For Humanity Book 2)

by Kip Nelson

  Tillman was glad that Greg finally had started to come to his senses.

  “He's probably in shock,” Penelope said, “and he's trying to keep control, to keep things as normal as they can be.”

  “He's doing well at that,” Tillman said. “Arguing with him brings back so many memories.” He sighed angrily, wearily, and closed his eyes.

  He tried not to complain too much because he knew he should be more grateful than most. He was with his family, in a time when so many other people had lost theirs. Greg was separated from his, and Penelope had been alone for a long time. Still, Tillman felt so much ire for Fernando. He thought during the intervening years Fernando would have calmed somewhat, but he seemed to have become even further entrenched into his positions.

  Still, there was almost something comforting about arguing with his father. With so much having changed in the world, it was good to know that some things still were the same.

  Tillman swung his legs up on the couch and soon enough he had drifted away into a sweet, deep sleep. His body craved rest, and he was glad he could take a break from surviving for a little while. He drove his thoughts away from his troubled mind and focused on his steady heartbeat. In the distance he heard Greg and Penelope talking, but their voices faded to whispers, and then there was nothing but darkness.

  Chapter Fifteen

  When Tillman awoke, he was alone. Greg and Penelope evidently had let him get some rest. The room was quiet and dark. He moved to the window, ignoring the slight ache in his muscles, and turned to see there was darkness outside. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, then debated whether he should find a bed to sleep in. His body was tired, but his mind was active, and he knew he'd be tossing and turning all through the night, getting little rest.

  He went into the kitchen to see if there was any leftover food and was surprised to see Morelle sitting at the table, nursing a cup of water. She looked drained, exhausted. It had been a long time since Tillman had seen the true Morelle, the sister that had shown such a love for life. She always had been smiling and happy. Her ex had stripped away everything that made her her. She was a ghost. She had suffered a fate worse than death. Tillman wished he could do something to bring her back, but he wondered if there was even a trace of her left in there.

  “Hello, Tillman,” she said. Even her words sounded sad. There was a perpetual bleakness about her, as if she wore a cloak of sorrow and would not let anyone tear it away from her. It had become a pillar of her existence, and she was using it as a crutch.

  “Hey, Morelle. We haven't had much of a chance to speak since I came back,” he said, sliding into a chair beside her.

  “I know. I'm glad she's home. I don't know what I would have done if...” Morelle was unable to finish the thought.

  “I know. I see things haven't really changed around here. He's still the same,” Tillman said, referring to their father.

  “He always will be. I don't think he's ever forgiven himself for what happened.”

  “You don't have to do that.”

  “What?”

  “Make excuses for him. He could have done more. So could I...” Tillman said, bowing his head. “But at the end of the day we all could have done more. There's only one person to blame, and we don't ever have to mention him again. I'm just sad that Dad thinks he still can order people around. I mean, what was he thinking, speaking to Jessica like that after all she's been through?”

  “He's worried that it'll happen again. In truth, I am as well. I don't want my daughter to make the same mistakes I did.”

  “I know, but you can't prevent her from living. That seems to be what he wants, to lock her up and throw away the key. She's capable, Morelle. She's tough. She can handle it, probably more than most people can.”

  “She's had to be. It's been tough here. You know what Dad's like. He's had to, well, he took on the role of protecting her. I was...I couldn't do it all. They love each other, but they argue a lot. It reminds me of how things used to be with the two of you, really,” she said, offering him a weak smile.

  “I did hope we'd be able to break old habits, but it doesn't seem likely.”

  “It'll take time, but now that you're back everything will be alright.”

  Morelle spoke with certainty in her voice. Tillman wished he could believe that.

  “I hope so,” he said softly.

  “What have you been doing with your life? It's been so long since we've talked properly. I've missed it. I've missed you,” she said, and placed a hand on his. Tillman felt the warmth of familial love spread through his body and realized at that moment how much he had missed his sister.

  “You mean you don't want to talk about the world outside?” he asked.

  “I've heard enough about that. If it's as bad as you say, then none of us know how much time we're going to have left. It's time for all of us to make sure we don't leave with any regrets. I'd rather spend whatever time I have left catching up with my older brother.”

  Tillman could see her wisdom.

  “Well, I don't know where to start, really. Work was good, although it took more effort to keep up with the younger crowd. Gaming really exploded over the last decade, you know, which was great, but it meant that more people were coming into the sport, and more people wanted to challenge me and knock me off my perch. Some of them succeeded, for a little while at least.” Tillman gave her a knowing smile.

  “But I expanded,” he continued. “I formed a few business partnerships and explored other areas, just in case I started to lose my edge and wasn't able to compete anymore. I had everything under control, you know? I was taking trips. I was going to lots of different meetings. It was a good life. It's strange to think it's all gone.”

  “But you're not,” Morelle reminded him.

  “True. I just wish Dad actually could accept that I made something of myself, that I was right not to listen to him.”

  “I don't think that's ever going to happen,” she said, and then seemed to want to change the subject. “What about anyone special?”

  Tillman smiled. “There have been a few flings, but nothing serious,” he said, rubbing his neck.

  “You never were able to forget her,” she said. Tillman nodded, biting his lower lip.

  “I kept in touch a little bit. She's married, has a family. I try not to think about her but, well, there are some times when she just pops into my head without warning.”

  “We have not been the luckiest in love,” Morelle said.

  “No, but at least you got Jessica.”

  “I did,” Morelle said, and swelled with happiness at the mention of her daughter.

  “I promise you, Morelle. I'll do everything I can to keep the two of you safe.”

  “I appreciate that, Tillman, and we'll do our best to keep you safe as well.”

  They talked a little more about idle matters and laughed together as they reminisced about childhood memories. Tillman wished at that moment that he had made an effort to return home sooner. While his relationship with his parents was icy, he only had ended up depriving himself of his relationship with his sister.

  Morelle eventually excused herself, saying that she was going to try getting some sleep, when Ana came in. She hugged Morelle, and then sat down with Tillman.

  “Your father is snoring again. You’d think after all these years I would have gotten used to it,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  She took Morelle's seat and hugged Tillman. He was still a little hesitant around her. While the majority of his rage had been directed toward Fernando, there had been more than a few heated words with his mother over the years as well, mostly because she always took Fernando's side.

  “I'm glad you came back,” she said.

  “Me too, Mom, but can't you do something about Dad?”

  “Don't you think I would have done that already if I could?” she said, smiling.

  “I mean it, Mom. I need to make it clear to the both of you that this isn't like all the other times. The
re's been a crisis in the world. We're not talking about something that could happen. We're talking about something that has happened. There's no going back now, not for a long time at least. We have to think about a plan, about what to do next.”

  His mother silenced him by patting his arm.

  “There is so much time for that. Your friends are nice. They told us what you did for them. I hate that you were alone when it happened, that you had to see all you did. We have had too much sorrow in this family,” Ana said.

  “Then why is Dad so hell-bent on causing more? There's no reason why he should be that upset with Jessica. Trust me, Mom, she's already scared as hell. There's no way she'll be sneaking out again.”

  “Your father just wants to protect us.”

  “I know, but he's not going to do that by controlling anything. He has to understand that he's not the one with all the answers in this situation. The world isn't going to magically get better because he wants it to. There are threats out there, really bad people who want to destroy everything. And if we're not careful, they're going to come here, and we're not going to be prepared. You have to help him see this, Mom. Please, this time I need you to be on my side.”

  “I was always on your side,” Ana said.

  Tillman took his arm away.

  “No, you weren't. You always took his side. You could have spoken up, you could have tried to see my side of it. You could have--”

  He was silenced by his mother's sigh.

  “I did, Tillman. You are my son. I always saw things from your point of view. But it wasn't always that simple. I was also your father's wife. I had a duty to him to be supportive in all matters. But there was a lot you did not see. I tried to talk to him, to tell him that you wanted to walk your own path. He is not perfect, but I love him. I wish the two of you could have a better relationship, but the truth is you are more alike than you imagine. I will talk to him, but he is who he is, and that cannot always be changed.”

  Tillman nodded, grateful that his mother would talk to him at least.

  “You should get some rest. You have been through a lot. I know you want to carry everything on your shoulders, but you only are going to hurt yourself if you do not get enough rest. Go upstairs now and go to bed.”

  Tillman began protesting, but Ana reminded him she still was his mother. Tillman couldn't help but smile at that and went to sleep the rest of the night away.

  When he awoke the following morning, he was fully refreshed and recovered. He breathed in the morning air and felt more ready than ever to start this new beginning. Tillman hopped downstairs and found he was the last one up. Everyone else had had breakfast already and were chatting with each other in the living room. Fernando was there too, although he wasn't engaging in the conversation. He seemed more concerned with a book he was reading. Anthony was sitting with Jessica, glancing toward Fernando. Tillman assumed that Anthony had heard what had been said about him, if not directly, then from Jessica. He greeted Anthony by name, trying to make the effort to let Anthony know he was welcomed by at least some of the household.

  “We were just playing a game, Tillman, talking about what we are going to miss most about the old world,” Penelope said.

  “So far most have said air conditioning, except Greg,” Morelle said.

  “Video games,” Greg admitted, without a hint of regret. There was a round of laughter at this, which Tillman joined in.

  “I think I'm going to have to go with Greg on this one. I'm already feeling withdrawal symptoms,” Tillman admitted. It felt good to be able to joke about this stuff, and treat it like it was normal, rather than some foreboding doom that never should be acknowledged. Tillman was also glad that he'd brought all these people together.

  Major was being bandied around by everyone in the room and was taking great delight in all the attention. Having this many people around seemed to be good for Morelle's spirits as well. As Tillman looked at them he knew they all had been through a lot and had lost so much. Perhaps his mother was right. Perhaps it was time to put the past behind him and try making a better future, repairing the relationship with his father.

  “Dad, can I have a word with you?” he said, and moved out to the hallway.

  Fernando followed him. There was a moment of tension, for everyone else knew their relationship was frayed. Thankfully, they all continued talking, loudly enough that they would blanket the quiet discussion that Tillman planned to have with his father.

  They closed the door to the living room and Fernando looked at Tillman directly. Over the years Tillman had grown to be taller than his father, but Fernando still had an intimidating presence. He folded his arms and waited for Tillman to speak.

  Tillman picked his words carefully, swallowing his ego and many years of tension.

  “First of all, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come in here after all these years and tell you that the way you're living is wrong. I know you've done a lot for Morelle and Jessica, and I never meant to imply that you were incapable of looking after them now.”

  Fernando softened at this and looked a little taken aback.

  “I sense there's a “but” coming,” he said.

  Tillman pressed his lips together before speaking. “I know you don't want to believe that the end of the world is really here, but it is. There's nothing I can do to change that. I'm not trying to be difficult with you, I'm just trying to give us all the best chance to live. We have to work together to make it through these desperate times, and things like getting angry at Jessica aren't going to help. We have bigger issues.”

  “Your mother did say something along those lines,” he said, exhaling deeply. Tillman thought he finally was getting through to his father, that after all these years they would mend the bridge that had burned between them, but before Fernando could reply there was a heavy knock at the door. Tillman and Fernando froze.

  “It's not going to be neighbors asking to borrow sugar,” Tillman whispered urgently. Tillman went to open the door, but Fernando held him back.

  “It's my house,” he said. Tillman wanted so desperately to protect his father, but he knew his father needed to do this because it was the kind of man he was. Tillman would have done the same if he was in his father's position.

  Fernando walked up to the door and peeked through the peep hole. Tillman didn't know what he saw, but he didn't have to, because a growling voice made its way through the door.

  “Khan wants his tithe,” it said. Tillman's face went pale and fell back against the wall.

  “No,” he gasped.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Tillman and Fernando shared a look. Tillman shook his head. Fernando set his face in grim determination.

  “I want you off my property. I am not going to open this door. I owe neither Khan nor anybody anything,” Fernando said.

  “You owe Khan everything,” the voice behind the door said. While his father was talking, Tillman couldn't believe that Khan had found him, that he was making good on his promise. Suddenly, Tillman felt guilty. He never should have let Khan go. He should have been more careful.

  “If I do, then he can come here and try to take it himself, but I am not going to open my door to you.”

  There was a moment of tension. Tillman wondered if the man outside was going to smash a window or break the door down, but instead they heard footsteps move away. Fernando turned back and saw how aghast Tillman was.

  “It's my fault. It's my fault he's here,” Tillman said. Fernando walked up to his son and gripped him by the shoulders.

  “I should have killed him,” Tillman said.

  “No, Son. No, you shouldn't have. To live in this world, we don't have to let go of who we are. We shouldn't have to sacrifice what makes us special, what makes us human, to defend ourselves against these people. You're right, Son, the world has changed, but we don't have to change the fundamental parts of ourselves. I want you to believe that, even if you don't believe anything else I can say. You shouldn't regre
t letting someone have a chance at life. It's this Khan's fault if he can't seize the chance you've given him.”

  “He won't get a second one, especially if he hurts anyone here,” Tillman said through gritted teeth.

  “Come on, we'd better go tell the others,” Fernando said, slapping a hand on Tillman's back.

  Tillman felt closer to his father now than he had for as long as he could remember. It seemed strange it would take a mutual threat like Khan to bring them together again, but at least the first steps to a friendly relationship had been taken. Tillman truly hoped they could put the past behind them.

  The rest of the group still were laughing and talking happily. They hadn't heard the knock at the door, but they soon grew silent when they saw the two grave faces.

  “We just had someone knock on the door,” Fernando said.

  “It was someone who works for Khan,” Tillman said. Jessica and Anthony gasped. They squeezed each other’s hands. Tillman noticed that his father flinched a little, but he didn't say anything.

  “That's the man who tried to stop you when you were leaving town, isn't it?” Ana asked. Fernando moved to sit by his wife, surrendering the floor to Tillman, who moved in. Major shuffled his way forward on his short legs and nuzzled against Tillman's legs. Tillman bent down to pick up the dog and rubbed his fur.

  “Yes, it is,” Tillman confirmed.

  “But we beat him. We watched him walk away,” Anthony said, worry lining his face. Jessica nodded along, she also was stunned at the news.

  “Just because we beat him once doesn't mean we beat him for good. I should have known that a man like that wouldn't let this go so easily,” Tillman said.

  “But from what you guys have said he doesn't have any men left. Well, maybe one,” Penelope said.

  “That's assuming the men we saw him with were his only men. We made a lot of assumptions. I thought he left because I intimidated him, but maybe he only did it because he knew he had more men elsewhere and stood a better chance with a tactical retreat. I also thought that he came out of the sewers of town like a rat, but I could have been wrong about that as well. He could have made his base anywhere. Hell, that guy who just knocked on our door might not have even known I was in here. He just could have been doing something routine for Khan,” Tillman said.