by Davis, Mary
“Are you all right?” He straddled the bench next to her, putting the photo album with her notebook.
“I’m fine.” She tried to cover the fact she had been crying.
“You’ve been crying.” Tenderness softened his voice.
Her smile melted as she turned from him and gazed back out at the lake. He glanced at the display of fall colors on the opposite shore, but he guessed she saw none of it—the clear still water, the brilliant color-laden trees, the awe-inspiring beauty. She was struggling inside and losing the battle. A tear trickled down her cheek. She covered her face with her hands to conceal her anguish.
He had the urge to wrap his arms around her, but if she wouldn’t admit there was a problem she wouldn’t be comforted either.
“What’s wrong?” He reached out his hand to her but stopped when she shook her head. Remembering what she’d said the night of the beach fire about being alone, he thought it best to leave her to herself.
“I want you to know if you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen, I have two of each.”
No response.
“You know how to reach me if you need me, any time of the day or night.” He couldn’t tell if she heard him. “I won’t bother you any longer. I’m just a phone call away or a good loud holler.” He hoped to get some kind of reaction from her.
Nothing.
He hated to leave but didn’t know what else she would let him do for her, so he started to stand. He was still straddling the bench when she covered his hand on the table with hers, wet with tears. She didn’t say a word. He stared at their hands for a moment then sat back down. Though she wasn’t ready to talk, she obviously didn’t want to be alone, and he certainly didn’t want to leave her so upset.
He didn’t know how long they sat there in silence before she lifted her head and stared across the lake. Finally she spoke. “Doug would have loved it here,” she said softly. “He loved the outdoors. . .and the changing seasons. Florida drove him nuts.” She gave a little laugh void of humor. “He said they only had two seasons, summer and hurricane.”
He could see her struggle against tears again; her bottom lip quivered. “It’s not fair. He shouldn’t have died.” The tears came unhindered now.
He didn’t know if she would let him comfort her, but he scooted closer and tentatively wrapped his arm around her slender shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I wish he were here.” She fell into his waiting embrace with sobs.
What manner of man was this Doug to captivate her heart? A boyfriend, fiancé, or maybe—her husband? He had felt something stood between them, holding her back. Was this it? Was it Doug? Even in death he held what Garth longed for—her heart.
A wave of jealousy drove through him. He knew if Doug were here with her Garth most likely would not be the one sitting next to her. He was suddenly disgusted with himself. The poor man was dead, and all he could think of was himself.
She continued to sob gently in his arms as he caressed her hair away from her face. He knew sometimes a person just needed to cry. It was part of the healing process, cleansing the soul.
After a few minutes her crying subsided. She pulled back and wiped her face then turned to him. “I’m sorry I got your shirt all wet.” She wiped the front of him.
He grabbed her hands in his to stop their nervous motion. “It’s all right. The shirt’s washable.”
She smiled at that and dropped her hands. He released them, letting her take them back. “I’m sorry. I thought I was over the crying part. I try to put it behind me and go on with my life. I guess I can’t see the future without him and Aunt Lillah. They were my whole life, as pathetic as it was. So I keep returning to the past that always ends in their tragic deaths.”
“Tell me about it.”
She looked a little surprised at his quiet request but began to tell of the house fire that had swept through the two-story building in a matter of minutes. “Doug woke me from a deep sleep and carried me out of the house. He went back for Aunt Lillah but was overtaken by the smoke. Firefighters carried them both out, but it was too late.” She choked on her last words.
Doug must have been her husband. So young to be a widow already. Though he didn’t want to, he would back off pursuing her and give her some space. He would be the friend she needed. “Why did you come up here by yourself?”
She took a deep breath. “Why indeed? Lyell, one of my physical therapists, told me that when the physical pain was too much I needed to find a place in the past that was happy and go there in my mind until I could overcome the pain or until it was finished torturing me.” She motioned toward the lake. “I came here. This was one of the last places I can truly remember being happy. The Lord found me here.” She took a deep breath as if remembering something.
And Garth had found her here, as well. “Wouldn’t that attach a negative emotion to a pleasant memory?”
“Surprisingly not.”
“Wouldn’t you rather have the comfort and support of your parents and family?”
She paused. “Doug and Aunt Lillah were the last of my family. And, yes, I would rather be with my parents if I could, but they died when I was in high school.”
He noted she was more reflective about her parents’ death. The pain wasn’t fresh. She had healed from that one.
“Mom and Dad let Doug stay home with a couple of his friends, or he would have been killed that night, too.”
“The same accident you were in?”
“They say I was lucky. Sometimes I wonder.” She shrugged.
Something she said played over in his head. Mom and Dad let Doug stay home with friends. . .I was in high school. She wasn’t mourning for a husband. Doug was her brother!
In those moments of openness and comfort, they moved from casual friendship to a deeper friendship, more comfortable and with greater understanding.
He reached over and caressed a stray tear away as he listened to her talk more about her family.
Suddenly she flipped her notebook shut and excused herself. Garth wondered if it was their physical proximity that caused her to flee or the emotional closeness. She must have felt it, too. Or was it his longing for them to grow closer that was pulling her into a relationship she might not be ready for?
“I brought these for you.” He stood and held out the photo book. “They’re of Mackinac.”
“Thank you.” She took the offered gift and limped away from him. Once she was out of sight and inside, he sank back down on the bench and rested his forehead on his clasped hands.
Why, Father? Why does she always run away from me? What have I done to scare her? Show me how to help her.
❧
Lori watched Garth from the window, careful to remain out of sight should he happen to look in her direction. She longed to go back down to him, but she knew she had to hold tight reins on her heart. She couldn’t let go and risk being torn apart again.
He remained at the table a long while with his head bowed, as if in prayer. Was he praying for her?
She splayed her hand on the cold glass and leaned her forehead against it. Garth deserved a whole woman, not someone whose body and spirit were broken and battered.
Lord—
She stood up straight. In that single word that opened her heart in prayer, she knew Garth was praying for her.
Please, Lord. . . What should she pray for? Squelch any feelings he might have for me. Bring the perfect woman into his life. She choked back a tear, this time not for her recent loss but for something that could never be.
Nine
On Thursday Garth’s eyes were bright with excitement as he stood in the breezeway outside her door. “How would you like to see the most spectacular light show in the world tonight?”
“What? Like at a planetarium or something?”
“Or something. Are you game?”
“Sure.”
“Great. I’ll pick you up at one.”
Lori’s mouth dropped open. “In t
he morning?” No, he couldn’t mean that.
“Mm-hm. Dress warm. I’ll see you then.”
Later she couldn’t decide whether to go to bed early and set her alarm or just stay up. She opted for getting some sleep, but it was a waste of time. She got up at midnight to make a snack and wait.
She jumped at the sudden knock on her door. She had been watching for Garth’s vehicle, but obviously he hadn’t driven. Where was this light show anyway?
“Here. Use this.” He held out a coat. “It’s my mother’s. She leaves it up here at the cottage. Saturday I’ll take you to a place where you can shop for a coat. They have the best wool sweaters, too.”
He guided her out onto the deck. She looked up at the diamond-studded sky. It was a beautifully clear night, and the stars were winking at her as though they had a secret. The kind of night made for romance.
She looked up at him sharply. That’s not what he was thinking, was it? She swallowed hard when he looked down at her and smiled. “I tho”—she cleared her throat—“I thought we were going to a planetarium or something to see a light show.”
He grinned at her. “It’s the or something. The light show is coming to us.”
In the deck light she could see a twinkle in his clear blue eyes. For a moment she lost herself in their depths. She gave herself a mental shake and turned back to the starlit sky.
She faced the rail, looking out toward the lake. He stood with his back to the rail, watching her. His gaze made her nerves tingle. She could easily give her heart to this man, but she couldn’t let that happen. “I only see stars. Are these your light show?”
“They’re only the prelude. Have you ever heard of the aurora borealis?”
She shook her head.
“Then the aurora borealis, or northern lights, is like nothing you have ever seen. It’s a curtain of colored lights rippling across the night sky, shifting and changing as if God Himself were gently blowing on it. A magnificent, heavenly symphony of lights. I like to think of it as a glimpse of heaven. A fraction of what it will be like to stand in the presence of Christ in all His glory.”
It was easy to get caught up in his enthusiasm. The picture he painted sounded beautiful, but she couldn’t quite imagine it. Was this another one of his stories? “When is this show due to begin?”
“Any minute.”
Her breath caught as the sky ignited in a luminescent curtain of wavering colors, just as he’d described it. “It’s almost like daylight out here.” An interesting quiet swishing, almost a crackle, accompanied the bright glow.
Watching the lights dance and play across the sky and reflect off the water below did indeed remind her of what heaven could be like. She knew Garth was still watching her reaction to the light show, but it didn’t bother her now because she was in awe of the spectacular show God was putting on. “What causes it?”
He turned to the sky. “God.”
“I know. But how do scientists explain it?”
“I don’t like to think about the scientific explanation. It only spoils the effect.”
He was probably right.
“Eskimo myth says if you whistle at it, it will swoop down and carry you away.”
“Did you ever try?”
He stretched out his arms from his sides. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”
They stood in breathtaking admiration for nearly an hour before the aurora scattered and disappeared as quickly as it had come. Neither one spoke for several minutes. Garth finally broke the silence. “It leaves me in awe every time I witness it.”
She turned to him. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“My pleasure.”
“I have never seen anything more beautiful.”
“I’ve seen a few things that come close,” he said in a husky voice as he gazed at her.
Oh, dear. He’s not thinking of kissing me, is he?
He cleared his throat. “I should let you go so you can get some sleep.”
❧
Lori had been curious when Garth insisted on taking her shopping for some winter sweaters. She couldn’t stay much longer in Michigan without warmer clothes. He knew of the best place in the area but refused to give her directions. He would drive her. Her curiosity was piqued even further now that Kalkaska lay ten miles behind them. If this place wasn’t in Kalkaska, then where? “Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see. I promise you’ll love it.” He beamed like a little boy taking her to his found treasure.
“How far away is this place?”
“A ways.”
She huffed. “How long will it take to get there?”
“Awhile.”
He wasn’t giving anything away, but she could pester him. “I know. You aren’t taking me to buy anything. You’re kidnapping me.”
“There’s an idea,” he said with a smile, arching his eyebrows.
“You’re out of luck. There’s no one to pay the ransom.”
“You’ll have to pay your own ransom, I guess.”
“How can I do that if you’re holding me hostage?”
“Then I guess I get to keep you.” He reached over and rested his hand on her arm.
Lori’s stomach did a little flip at his touch. She hastily folded her arms in her lap, forcing him to pull back his hand. “Are we there yet?” she said in her best little-kid whine.
He laughed aloud.
Finally they pulled into a seaside town called Traverse City. The trees opened up to reveal the expanse of the blue green water. Not actually seaside, but more like bayside. Grand Traverse Bay off Lake Michigan, to be exact. Sailboats dotted the sparkling water.
“Here we are, my beautiful hostage.” Garth pulled up to an unimpressive rustic log building. Was this one of those outdoorsy kinds of stores? The sign on the front read: Traverse Bay Woolen Company.
Lori stepped inside the weathered interior and stopped short, doubtful she would find anything to her liking in this backwoods place. She scanned the log furnishings until her gaze landed on a deer-antler lamp.
The place reminded her of a camping store, though she didn’t see any equipment for that. She half-expected to see woodland critters poking their furry heads out to view the strange Floridian who had invaded their turf. But there were none, only statuaries of small animals.
This was what all the secrecy was about? This was his treasure?
She wanted to turn and walk out, but Garth’s eyebrows bobbing up and down demanded her opinion.
“It’s nice.” She forced a smile and hoped a mall was nearby.
“Come on. Give it a chance.” He took her by the hand and pulled her through the store. “My mom and sisters love this place.”
As they made their way deeper in, Lori discovered it was rich in character and charm. At a glance the clothing ranged from Native American to classic, casual to dressy.
Garth perused a stack of sweaters. “Here’s one.” He immediately put it back. “No, this one.” He held up a beautiful hand-knit sweater with an entire scene on it; a lofty evergreen tree, a snow-capped mountain, and a sparkling stream.
“It’s gorgeous.” She took it from him.
His smile broadened at her change of heart toward the store.
By lunchtime she had tried on more than a dozen sweaters and picked her four favorites. Next she selected a long, tan wool coat and a scarf with a beret. She tried them on and turned around for his opinion. He was close by, watching her, and gave his approval. He liked everything she chose.
“So do I have everything I need?”
He smiled and held up his fingers.
She tucked her hands in the pockets of the coat to show him she didn’t need gloves. He chuckled and chose a pair that matched the scarf and beret. She slipped them on, completing the ensemble, and struck a modeling pose.
“Perfect,” he said softly with a nod.
An odd feeling ran through her under his intense gaze, and heat spread across her cheeks. She removed the coat and other item
s and nervously fingered the sweaters. “I don’t know which one to put back.”
“Why do you have to put any back?” He came up beside her.
“I don’t need all four. I probably don’t even need three, but I don’t think I could choose two to give up.”
“I’ll buy one for you.”
She looked up at him sharply. “No, you won’t.”
His expression changed to something akin to disappointment. She felt bad for snapping at him. “You weren’t serious?”
“Naw.” He shook his head, but the hurt remained in his eyes.
Ten
Lori stepped out onto the deck with her hot cup of tea and took the chair opposite Josie. A colorful windsock twirled in the cool fall breeze. A few leaves still clung to the trees.
“It sounds as if things are getting serious between the two of you,” Josie said.
“We’re just friends,” Lori snapped and scalded her lips on the edge of her tea mug.
Josie had come up by herself for a long weekend, no doubt to check up on her and make sure she wasn’t wallowing in grief. Lori had looked forward to her visit; but if this was the bent the conversation would keep taking, she wasn’t so sure she could put up with it all weekend.
“Just friends?” Josie’s brown eyes rounded.
“Yes. Just friends.”
“Let’s see—he takes you to church and out to eat twice a week.”
“It makes sense to eat in town while we’re there.” She sounded defensive, even to herself.
Josie snorted. “How many times a week does he eat dinner over here? Four? Five? That takes care of the week.”
“Only once or twice,” she said, although the past two weeks it had been three. “It’s not as if it’s planned. He comes by to check on things. I think your father asked him to. I appreciate his looking out for. . .things, so I offer him dinner.”
“Which he would never turn down. Not planned, ha.” She leaned forward and looked at Lori. “He just happens to stop by at dinnertime. And you just happen to have enough food for two. I would say something is planned whether you want to admit it or not.”
