Fire & Flesh

by Kerri Carr

  Alice was glad when Roland led them to another cave and told them that’d camp there for the night and arrive tomorrow afternoon. She was led down and briefly fantasized about a repeat of last night before passing out.

  “Alice.” She was woken by Perceval’s gentle calls. “Here, have some meat, it’s important to keep your strength up.” Where Roland and Perceval had found the energy to hunt and cook the rabbit, she had no idea. Her whole body seemed to protest when she moved.

  “So, have you decided what you are doing after we get to town?” Alice asked Roland as they ate.

  “I have to admit there is something appealing about your fairy tale, lass. A fresh start away from everything we’ve done. Who wouldn’t want that? The thing is I’m unsure if it would change who I am or even who I want to be.”

  “You know you’re welcome to join us,” Perceval offered. “You’re not a bad person, war makes monsters of us all.”

  “Thanks.” The camp-fire descended into silence once more and Alice went back to sleep.

  ***

  They were close to Inverness. Alice had realized and they reached the town before mid-day. English soldiers bustled up and down the street keeping the townsfolk under an unflinching and repressive glare. Groups of them burst into houses dragging the Jacobite rebels into the street. Others stopped random groups searching for anything suspicious. The town’s walls were plastered with wanted posters for the leading members of the movement who’d gone underground since the spectacular loss at Culloden. The whole town felt a powder keg ready to explode.

  “Right, you two find a ship that will take you to one of the colonies. I have some business to attend to in town. Promise me you won’t leave until I find you at the docks?” Roland announced leaving the group.

  It didn’t take Alice and Perceval long to find a transport that was willing to take transport them to the colonies despite the fact they were already slightly full. Given the apparent urgency, the captain would transport them on the promise of indentured service on the other side. The best thing was that he left later on that day which meant they didn’t have to spend another day laying low.

  It was a few hours later that Roland appeared on the docks.

  “We’ve found someone with room pulling out later today. They have room for you, too,” Perceval informed.

  “Thanks, but I have to stay. I can’t leave the clan or Scotland like this. If something isn’t done we will lose everything that makes us, us. But I did get you these.” He passed across two slips of paper.

  “What’s this?” Perceval asked confused.

  “Read it,” Roland said excitedly.

  “I’ve told you before, I can’t read.” Perceval flushed a bright crimson and glanced at Alice.

  “You really can’t?” The old sullen look washed over Roland’s face. “It’s a promise of payment. Although most of my father’s holdings have been seized, there are a still a few merchants we have secret funds with. Give it to the captain as payment and you’ll arrive in your new life totally free of old ones.”

  “Thanks. I think yes. You could be free,” Perceval said.

  “Thanks,” Alice said hugging him. “I’ll miss you.”

  “You can always stay and help me,” Roland asked.

  “I can’t. I think this is something I need to do. I can’t run, I have to try.”

  Perceval and Alice boarded the ship ready to begin their new life together and Roland left to fight for his old one.

  THE END

  Another bonus story is on the next page.

  Bonus Story 37 of 44

  The Kindergarten Teacher

  Staring at all of the excited, smiling faces around her, Sasha felt her conflicted emotions swirl in her chest before glancing once again at the clock. It was 1:55 pm. In only five minutes, school would let out for the summer and her kindergartners would no longer be her kindergartners. They would be first graders, moving to the room right across her own. All of their artworks and accomplishments had been taken off the walls, leaving them bare to instead be housed on a refrigerator under a magnetic clip. The names taped to the tables had been removed to be clutched by tiny hands excited for the months to come.

  Many of these children were going on vacation, talking loudly and excitedly about where they were going. Sasha listened absently behind her desk, holding her chin in her hand. They were all ready to leave, backpacks shouldered and eagerness hanging in the air. She was the one that would miss them, not the other way around. Just as easily as they became her students, they would become another’s. This was always the worst time of year for her.

  “Ms. S! Make the bell ring faster!” Smiling as little bodies surrounded her desk, Sasha carefully shook her head. Expectant faces, eyes wide for things she couldn’t do, beamed at her only to grow dull at her reaction.

  “I can’t. Clocks don’t work like that. We can line up now, though. Everyone get with your partner, okay?” Everything got loud as children no taller than her hip scrambled for their hallway buddies, and Sasha pushed herself to her feet with a small sigh. Even after four years of teaching here, it never got any easier. Her dark chocolate gaze scanned the dual line of little kids, making sure everyone was holding hands. This year her class was smaller than usual; she only had thirteen students. Every day for two weeks, she would hold a different hand before starting the pattern over again.

  Some of her kids were even smart enough to know which day they wouldn’t have a partner. If she were honest, Sasha didn’t think it was a good idea to constantly shuffle their buddies around, but they insisted. They all wanted to hold her hand, strutting proudly down the hallway like it was the most noble thing they’d ever do. Positioning herself at the front of the line, she glanced at the clock once again to find it ticking down the seconds. Kindergartners always left the building first, followed up until grade eight. Some older students were allowed to leave early if they had to bring their siblings home.

  When the bell rang, Sasha took the hand of the little boy next to her at the front of the line. Children tried to talk, but she held her finger to her lips for quiet.

  “No running, okay? Make sure you bring your moms and dads to see me before you leave.” All down the lines heads bopped in nods, and Sasha opened the door to her classroom to walk towards the playground. It was a relatively short walk; there weren’t even stairs to block their way.

  As soon as sunlight replaced light bulbs, Sasha was bombarded with exclamations about her kids seeing their parents. Since it was the last day of school many had come together instead of singularly. They would come up to her, smile and tell her how wonderful it was to have a teacher like her help their child learn. All she did was smile back, thanking them before they left with ears no longer tuned in to anything but their son or daughter’s high pitched ramblings.

  It took only moments for most of her class to disperse, but when she turned around to go inside, Sasha noticed Serena standing in the shadow of the school. The little girl’s intense brown curls were pulled back in a ponytail, exposing her drawn expression and worrying bottom lip. Kneeling down in front of her, Sasha tried to put on a comforting smile even though her concern was building. If Serena’s mother was late, she usually knew about it halfway through the day.

  “Serena, do you want to come with me and we can call your mom?” Hesitantly Serena nodded, and Sasha took her hand before standing straight up.

  In the office Sasha held the school telephone to her ear and thankfully Serena’s mother answered on the first ring. The woman sounded out of breath, but she was talking too fast for Sasha to even get an introduction in.

  “I know! I know, I’m on my way right now! Traffic was horrible.” A dead tone sounded but Sasha knew Serena’s mother didn’t like talking and driving on the phone at the same time. Setting the handle into the receiver, she ran her hand through her hair with a slight, sad smile. She’d miss talking to these people every day, even if it was only a ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’.

  “O
kay, Serena. Let’s go back outside and wait for your mom, yeah? She should be here any minute.” Taking hold of a little hand once again, Sasha smiled in earnest at Serena before they started back towards the playground.

  “Uncle Tony!”

  Squealing in delight, Serena let go of Sasha’s hand to run to the man standing next to her mother. Wiggling her fingers into her pockets, Sasha smiled wider at the sight of the little girl being picked up and twirled around before Serena’s mother strode over to her. Clarice was a typical stay at home mother, complete with shoulder length brown hair and jeans that told of many car rides. Her lean face was washed in apology as she opened her mouth.

  “I’m so sorry for being so late. I had to pick up my family from the airport and traffic was worse than I thought. Can you believe I left the lots three hours ago? I’m ready to drop.” Nodding in understanding, Sasha knew that traffic was bad in the city at any given time.

  “It’s no problem. Today’s the last day anyway, I’m sure we can give you a pass. Did they fly in from Italy for the summer?” Sasha didn’t know much about Clarice’s family other than what Serena would occasionally let slip, but she knew nearly all of them were foreign. Every year they’d come to the States for the summer. It was the little girl’s most favorite time of the year.

  “Actually, Antoni is here permanently. He got transferred for work. Serena just loves him, it’s so cute to watch them together.” Clarice turned back, and Sasha’s gaze flickered over to the pair. They were talking animatedly in Italian, and she couldn’t help but smile wider. He was crouched down, eyebrows drawn together with his full attention on Serena.

  Sasha didn’t let her eyes linger for long, though.

  “That’s nice. It’s all she’s talked about for weeks. Well, I’m sure you’re busy so I won’t keep you. Have a nice summer, Clarice.” Sasha offered a wave, and with one last glance at Serena turned to go back inside and finish cleaning her classroom. It wouldn’t take long, but she still didn’t expect to be home for the next few hours.

  “Oh! Wait, Sasha- The other parents and I got you this. As thanks.” Twisting to watch Clarice dig in her purse, Sasha crinkled her eyebrows together before one of those decorative card holders was thrust at her. Carefully taking it, she popped open the side and dug out the plastic rectangle. It was a gift card to one of the best, and most expensive, restaurants in town. Smiling for the millionth time in as many seconds, she clutched it between her fingers before turning her eyes onto the woman before her.

  “Thanks! I’ve always wanted to go there.”

  “Well now you can! Okay, we have to go now but maybe we’ll see you around sometime. Bye, Sasha.” Watching Clarice walk away, Sasha felt her smile slowly fade away. This was it, her mind told her. It was actually over. Before she could turn to walk back to her classroom, Antoni paused. Now that he was standing, she could see his broadly set shoulders in full, something his white button down did nothing to hide. Sleeves rolled at the elbows showed off tanned skin and muscular forearms that had been hidden while close to the ground.

  Then he looked back at her, dark brown eyes flashing so brightly she could see it from the yards of distance between them. Frowning, she just attributed it to the sun before turning to head inside.

  *****

  Walking heavily into her apartment, Sasha set her purse on the kitchen table before her eyes automatically flickered to the sink. There, like she knew it would be, was a pile of dishes that weren’t there when she left this morning. The sound of some violent video game could be heard blasting from the living room, and her face grew long with a grimace.

  “Dwayne! I told you to clean your dishes.” Leaning on the frame of the archway that led to the living room, Sasha felt her grimace worsen as she watched her brother. He didn’t even acknowledge her, too engrossed in his game. With a roll of her eyes she turned back to the kitchen and headed for her bedroom. It was a feat of will power that she put up with her brother, or any of her family, really. She was the only one that had a real job, and that made them think she had money to burn.

  Her electric bill skyrocketed after Dwayne went from crashing on her couch to never leaving her apartment.

  “Where... What the Hell...” Leaning into the refrigerator with more comfortable clothes draped on her body, Sasha rummaged for the steak she’d made the night before. She specifically told Dwayne not to eat it, but obviously he had. Right now her kitchen was pretty empty and it’d stay that way until she started her summer job. Closing the metal door harder than necessary, she ran her hand through her hair and grumbled to herself.

  Dropping into a chair before her small kitchen table, Sasha held her forehead in her hand and cursed the life she had outside of her job. It was as if she was the only decent human being in her whole family. Listening to the sound of Dwayne’s game was only making her frustrated on top of being hungry.

  She only sat down for a moment before she stood up again, grabbing her purse and leaving her apartment. It was a sad day when it was s had to leave, not the unwanted person.

  Driving through the streets aimlessly, Sasha let her mind roam. She was a fourth generation freed slave, and no one ever she was related to ever forgot it. The government and its ‘white supremacy’ politicians owed them, her father would say. Glancing down at her arm, a small frown appeared on her face as she pictured it abused by sun and whatever else had happened then. Her skin was dark but not enough to be the butt of jokes. There were weave extensions in her hair because she couldn’t get it to grow past her shoulders.

  It’d been a battle getting her job as a school teacher, but Sasha knew it was worth the trouble. At first the administration didn’t want to hire her because she was so new, freshly out of college. She’d worked her ass off, though. Her plan was to simply show up at the school and chat up the other teachers so she had some back up. Safe to say her plan worked marvelously. She’d never gotten a complaint from a parent, either. Working with such young children in the middle of such a drastic transition was more difficult than she cared to admit, but her feedback was a feat in itself.

  Supposedly the last kindergarten teacher had been fired for making some wildly inappropriate comments about the children to another teacher.

  Of course, Sasha knew that part of it was the fact that she was African American. Those two words, powerful by themselves, were more likely to drag her down than boost her up. Despite that, she never played the race card like her parents and siblings. The United States of America was the land of opportunity if she worked hard enough instead of getting offended by things that happened hundreds of years ago. She was a firm believer that it wasn’t about race, it was about culture.

  Taking a turn, Sasha decided to go to the nearby Stop and Shop in the hopes of getting some food, but her mind didn’t stop its train. She wouldn’t be so strapped for cash if she didn’t have Dwayne living with her. Unfortunately, she couldn’t just kick him out without having any backlash from the rest of her family. Everyone but her was on some sort of state benefit somehow, but they never seemed to have as much money as they made it out to be. Her brother made almost as much as she did working full time, but she had no idea how he spent it with nothing to show for it. He could easily afford an apartment but he didn’t, and she didn’t understand why. It wasn’t like he went out with his ‘friends’ or anything.

  “Chicken bake... Turkey bake... Chicken bake... Turkey bake...” Sasha stood in the middle of the hot foods line, her eyebrows furrowed as her brain turned. Staring at the sandwiches beyond the pane of glass, she tried to decide which one looked better. Chicken was her go-to protein, but the turkey bakes had just come out of the oven. Scooting sideways as the line shortened, she clenched and released her keys in her palm as she weighed the fact that she didn’t like turkey as much as chicken but it hadn’t been sitting out as long.

  “That’ll be $4.52, please.” Handing the unhappy looking teenager a five dollar bill, Sasha took her turkey sandwich and waited for her change before makin
g her way to a table. This is what her life would look like for the next week until her camp job started. She would be living there for two months, since it was an overnight camp. Thankfully her landlord was going to be generous with her and let her slack on rent until August. Of course, she’d have to pay a bit more after school resumed but that wasn’t a problem.

  Now all she had to worry about was Dwayne and how she was going to tell him he couldn’t live there anymore. She loved her brother, but she didn’t trust him at all.

  Watching a mother stroll past her, Sasha’s face instantly broke into a smile at the sight of the newborn baby in her car seat. She loved children; it was why she was a kindergarten teacher. Some day she wanted them for herself. As soon as the baby was out of sight her smile faded, though. That was just another problem. Her parents tried so hard to set her up with boys that couldn’t even classify as men. One had been their weed dealer. Another was a gangster that just happened to be ‘friends’ with Dwayne. They were all boys she couldn’t see herself with. Being the only person in her family with standards was hard.

  ****

  Screaming at the top of her lungs, Sasha was frozen to her spot in anger. Her day had started out bad, gotten worse, and now it went completely down the toilet. How much damage could one brother do in the span of less than an hour?

  All of her stuff was gone, and Dwayne was nowhere to be found.

  “Oh-h...” Dizziness made her fall to her knees at the sight of her completely empty living room. There were dust outlines on the walls of where her book shelves and television used to be. Even her cheap Walmart rug was gone.

  “Oh my God... The police... I- I ha-” A sharp knock at the door cut Sasha off, making her jump three feet in the air despite being on her knees. Scrambling to her feet, she rushed into the kitchen and to the front door with her heart in her throat. Yanking open the door, she struggled to breathe even as her closest neighbor came into view. Lola was older and spoke absolutely no English at all. She lived with her daughter, but Sasha couldn’t worry about it.