Soul Cry: The Ten Year Girlfriend
Page 14
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“ Love doesn't hurt. Loving the wrong person does.”
Columbus,OH
&
Years 6 thru 10
LaDaya twisted in her seat. “ Girl this is some mess! That nigga know he was wrong for coming at you the way he did at the gas station BUT I can't lie...I know that brotha tripped seeing you hugged up with ol' boy in the store! Most men would have felt like that too!”
Shavon laughed and cut her eyes at me.
“ That nigga had you dickmatized. We all been there before but it seems to me like he was abusive and you knew it. Tell the truth,shame the devil. You knew is ass was a nut didn't you Amina?”
I blinked my eyes several times so I wouldn't start crying again. I hate Roderick had me feeling so emotional. I imagined I would feel like this for awhile.
“ I guess I did. In all honesty, in all of these years we've only had one incident where he put his hands on me. Which surprisingly was just recently. It was the final straw for me,among other things. I mean outside of throwing that damn drink on me that is. I now realize there was a lot of emotional abuse taking place. When I think over the years of us being together I was the main problem.” I said shaking my head.
“ What do you mean?” LaDaya asked.
“ Well, I catered to Roderick's every need. I cooked for him, cleaned for him. Fucked on demand, I was loyal in every way. I mean I wouldn't even hold conversation with another man on a friendly level so there would never be any misunderstandings between us. If a man looked at me,I looked the other way. Now I know I shouldn't have had to do that. He should have trusted me.”
“ Oooh Weee! That nigga had you marching like a soldier didn't he?” Shavon said.
“ Pretty much. It started to get to me after awhile though. I began to realize just how unequal our relationship was. We still hadn't gotten married. He was giving me everything materially but my eyes started to open up to what he was holding back.” I said.
Just then our driver came over the loud speaker. We'd arrived at our last stop before we arrived in Cleveland. We had 30 minutes before we took off again.
LaDaya grabbed her purse from under the seat and pulled out her cell phone.
“ I'm going to call Paul you guys. I'll see you back on the bus in 30.” she said quickly rushing off the bus.
“ I'll see you back on the bus LaDaya. I'm going to stretch and call my sister to make sure she knows exactly what time to pick us up.” Shavon said as we exited the bus.
“ Okay, I'll see you guys back on the bus.” I welcomed the time alone. Telling Shavon and LaDaya about Roderick and my relationship had been tougher than I thought. I'd hidden so many of my feelings from people for so long,it felt good to finally tell the truth. Ten years of loving him and here I was running away with nothing. Nothing but my clothing and the baby in my belly he didn't even know I was carrying. I still had love for him but when I'd found out I was pregnant with Roderick's child after all these years of my trying to make sure I brought my child into a home where we all carried the same last name,Roderick had his way with that as well. Even though he didn't even know it. I ran my hand nervously over my belly.
I still couldn't believe it. It was true though,six home pregnancy tests and a trip to the doctor had confirmed it. I went into the restroom then sat on one of the bus station chairs. I was shocked when the guy Rasean came and sat down next to me.
“ You know you don't have to take that shit right. That nigga don't sound like he's the one for you.” Rasean said,his eyes twinkling.
“ Excuse me? Why are you eavesdropping all in my conversation?” I asked. I was pissed.
“ Baby girl it ain't eavesdropping if y'all talking loud and yapping right beside me. How wide do you think the aisles are? Don't get mad at me. Be mad you wasted ten years on a nigga who didn't wife your ass. But hey, you left him. Better late than never right?” he said standing up and walking away.
I was livid! But once again what could I really say? He was telling the truth.
I grabbed my bag and walked back to the bus. When I approached my seats I found Shavon and LaDaya already there. LaDaya was sobbing in Shavon's arms uncontrollably.
“ What's going on?” I asked trying not to panic. Had someone done something to her in the station?
LaDaya sniffled as she raised her head, “ I just broke up with Paul.”
“ Really What happened?”
“ Just listening to you talk, I knew I had to do it. I mean it's not like I hadn't thought of ending things before. After all we've been together three years. Don't take this the wrong way but I don't want to end up a ten year girlfriend.”
I stood there stunned for a moment before sinking into my seat. Damn. Did I sound that pathetic bitches were leaving their men so they wouldn't end up like me. Evidently so.
Shavon cleared her throat.
“ Please excuse LaDaya, I don't think she chose her words quite as well as she could have.” she said rolling her eyes at her sniffling friend.
I raised my eyebrows at her but chose not to say a word. Hell I didn't know her man. Maybe she did the right thing. Especially if this man hadn't proposed at all. Even Roderick had proposed to me at the three year mark. I was the absolute last person to be giving advice on love with all the craziness I had going on in my life right now.
The bus took off on the last leg of our trip. LaDaya seemed to have calmed down. A half an hour passed before Shavon spoke up.
“ Amina, I was just thinking about everything you said. So what was the final straw? I mean Roderick has given you material things, a home for the last ten years,great sex and don't get me wrong but,you already heard how I feel about just laying up with a nigga for years on end so what was your breaking point? Why are you on this bus when you know you still love that man?” she asked. LaDaya turned to look at me, both of them awaiting my answer.
“ Well, I guess it's like you just said. Every woman has a breaking point...,”I said as I proceeded to tell her exactly how I ended up on a Greyhound bus running away from the love of my life.