Miss Sally's Unsuitable Soldier

by Maggie Dallen

  “Hmm.” She folded her arms as she watched him, his gaze roaming over everything in the stable but her. “Was it his idea or yours to join the army?”

  “Mine,” he said shortly. “He never truly approved, but he’d been resigned to it. But after my mother died, he had a change of heart on the matter. Now he doesn’t want either of us out of his sight, or out from under his control.”

  “I see,” she murmured.

  “Now he’s hoping to use his alleged ill health to ruin the one good thing I’ve found in life.”

  Her eyes widened and her lips parted. This truly was a new side of the smiling charmer she’d come to know. The sight of him like this—so genuine, so raw, so vulnerable—it made her heart ache in her chest. “Surely, if he knows you’re happy there—”

  “He doesn’t believe that I’ve changed, you see,” he interrupted shortly. “He doesn’t understand…” He shook his head in frustration. “He still sees me as a child. But the army, it can change a man. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I’ve experienced it firsthand. The order, the structure, the responsibility that comes with managing a group of men. Their lives, safety, and well-being mine to look after.” The look he gave her was searching, nearly desperate.

  Her mouth was dry as she nodded quickly in understanding.

  “Do you believe me?” He winced slightly after he asked and she could practically see his regret at letting her see so very much.

  She took a step closer. “Yes, of course. I’ve seen it too. With my father’s men. Even with my sisters and I. There is something transformative about being a part of something bigger than oneself. Something more important.”

  He nodded eagerly. “Yes. Exactly right. But my father just won’t see that.”

  Sally’s mind raced with the memory of the way the earl had spoken of her father, of the way her father admired him. Surely that mutual respect would not have been the case if the earl had no notion of the military’s importance. “Have you…” She hesitated, finally reaching a hand out to touch his arm as if that might gentle her words. “Have you tried to make him see?”

  His brows drew down in irritation but his gaze fell to her hand on his arm as if transfixed by the sight of it.

  Sally wasn’t sure whether to rip her hand away or move closer still. She was torn in two with indecision and warring instincts.

  “It’s useless to talk to him,” he muttered.

  For a moment she knew what he must have been like as a little boy. Stubborn. Proud. Reckless.

  She nearly laughed as she realized those were the very words Minerva and her father had long used to describe her. “Sebastian, you are so quick to laugh, so easy to adapt and put others at ease.”

  He glanced up from beneath his lowered brows and the intensity of his gaze held her rooted in place.

  She wet her lips and his gaze dropped to follow the movement. Oh heavens. The cold air felt as though it couldn’t fill her lungs fast enough. It certainly wasn’t reaching her brain. “However—” The protest came out far too loud and they both jerked back, her hand dropping. “However,” she said again, at a far more acceptable volume. “Something tells me that your father does not see beyond that. And that perhaps you have not tried to show him more.”

  He stared at her in silence until she winced. “I am making a mess of this, aren’t I?” She shook her head. “It isn’t my place. I shouldn’t intervene. It’s just that there is so much more to you than you let on and—”

  He cut her off with a kiss. One moment she was talking and the next his lips were on hers and—

  Home. That was the only thought to break the surface. Everything else was chaos. Sensation upon sensation as her lips clung to his, warm and sweet and achingly tender. It was a kiss that stole her words and her breath and, she was very much afraid—her heart.

  Chapter 6

  Sebastian pulled back quickly, horrified by what he’d done and elated that he’d done it.

  Good grief but this was confusing.

  For one long moment they stared at one another with wide, shocked eyes and parted lips, the cold air steaming between them as they labored for breath as though they’d just raced a mile.

  “I’m sorry,” he said on a rush of air as reality returned along with all the consequences involved with kissing a sweet, naive girl like Sally.

  Strong and brave and genuine and kind, yes. But also sheltered.

  And his family’s guest.

  He ran a hand through his hair and turned away from her wide eyes just as the stable boy brought Beast over to where they stood, fully saddled and ready for Sally’s first ride.

  “Beast is ready, my lord,” the boy said.

  “Beast?” she echoed.

  “My brother and I named her that in jest,” he hurried to reassure her. “She’s so very gentle the name is quite laughable.”

  Her smile was small and wary, but at least her gaze was focused once more. “I’ll take your word for it.”

  He swallowed thickly in relief. For a moment there when she’d looked all dazed and dreamy, he’d been worried.

  This was precisely why one did not dally with sweet, innocent girls. Any fool knew that. He liked the girl. He truly did. But his father wasn’t entirely wrong about him. Oh, he’d grown up. He’d matured. But that did not mean he was ready to settle down with a wife and family. Not that he was opposed to such a thing. But he hadn’t expected to meet a girl like this so soon. He wasn’t certain he was ready. At least, not right this very moment. And who knew what notions a young sweet lass like Sally would get in her head after a kiss like that.

  A kiss like that.

  He swallowed hard as his mind called back the feel of her lips, the soft sound of surprise she’d made. The way she’d all but melted into his arms as if she belonged there.

  More than that...as if she trusted him to catch her.

  “So? What next?” She turned to him with expectant eyes and for a moment his heart faltered in his chest.

  What next, indeed? His heart ran away from him as his mind searched for words to answer. They would take things slowly, of course. But he couldn’t deny this draw. Perhaps if she were willing to wait. Give him time as they got to know one another and—

  “Shall I mount her here or once we get outside?” Her brows were drawn together in confusion at whatever it was she’d seen on his face.

  He cleared his throat. “Yes. Right. Let’s learn to ride, shall we?”

  She grinned up at him and he was certain he felt his heart cry for mercy.

  A short while later they arrived back at the stables winded, laughing, and so engrossed in their conversation that he didn’t realize until too late that the others had already returned from town. Not until he and Sally walked back inside and heard them talking.

  “Bluestocking battalion! That’s what they’re called,” a gentleman’s voice said so loudly that Sebastian paused beside the partially open door to the drawing room. He turned to Sally, ready to laugh at the odd phrase but stopped short at the stricken expression on her face.

  He realized the reason why a moment later when Lady Gertrude responded with a voice filled with laughter. “How absurd. One must feel sorry for the girls, raised in such an odd manner.”

  He winced, ready to go in there and put an end to it but Sally placed a hand on his arm and gave a shake of her head.

  “Miss Rebecca is charming though.” That was young Miss Grace. He’d always liked that girl.

  “Oh yes, she’s darling,” Miss Eversaw agreed. “But we shall have to take her under our wing, shan’t we?”

  Everyone agreed as one and he caught Sally’s rueful eye roll. At least she did not seem irate. He would have been furious if people were speaking of him and his family this way. He and his father and brother might have had their problems but they were still family, after all. What Sally had said earlier came back to him and he shrugged it off.

  She had a point, and they both knew it. He likely hadn’t tried his best to mak
e his father see what the army meant to him. He’d done nigh on nothing to show that he’d matured into his own. In fact, he’d found himself going out of his way to shock his father and irritate his brother at every turn. Just like he had as a willful child.

  Was it any wonder his father still felt he was unreliable and reckless? Or his brother too?

  “Miss Sally, however,” one of the ladies said with a sad sigh.

  He winced again, turning to mouth, Let me end this.

  But she shook her head with a wicked grin. Reaching for his arm she tugged him to keep moving, though snippets about Sally’s many oddities reached them before they’d made it to the library, where he shut the door behind them to block out the cruel gossip.

  “We shouldn’t be in here alone,” Sally said promptly.

  He rolled his eyes, though he knew she was right. He opened the door again. “I’ll ring for your maid to come join us as well.”

  She nodded. “That will do, thank you.”

  Laughter drifted down the hallway, making him cringe but he noticed that Sally looked more relaxed than ever as she wandered over to the shelves and ran her finger over the books’ spines. “This is my favorite room in your house,” she said, her tone so wistful it made him want to sweep her into his arms just to hear her gasp again. She glanced back with an impish grin. “My sister Hattie would be in heaven if she saw this.”

  “A big reader, is she?”

  “The biggest.”

  “Then we shall have to invite her over to borrow books to her heart's content.”

  “Oh, we couldn’t—”

  “You could and you shall,” he said.

  “Don’t you read?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “My mother was the book collector.”

  She paused for a heartbeat before continuing her stroll around the library. “My father spoke very highly of her.”

  He nodded. He ought to say something. Anything. But he’d found that, when it came to his mother, all words seemed to wither and crumble before they could make it out of his mouth.

  He supposed the same was true for his father and brother because her name was almost never spoken amongst them.

  “When did she pass away?” Sally asked.

  No one asked that. Well, to be fair, most people knew. But it was as if the rest of the world took its cue from the earl and his family. If they did not speak of her then no one else would either.

  “Two years ago,” he said.

  “Ah.”

  He walked over to see her profile because she was still perusing the bookshelves. “What does that mean?”

  “Hmm?”

  He mimicked her vague tone. “Ahhh.”

  She gave him an adorably grudging smile. “I was merely piecing facts together, that’s all.” She turned to face him more fully. “That would be right around the time that your father began to have his…”

  “Episodes?” he offered.

  “Yes.”

  He shrugged. “It’s not as though my brother and I did not see the relevance of the timing, but that doesn’t help us to know what is to be done about it.” He let out a loud exhale, frustration taking hold as it did whenever his father was mentioned. “She would know what to do,” he muttered.

  “Your mother?” Sally guessed.

  He nodded.

  “Hmm.”

  He let out a short laugh. “You manage to say quite a bit without saying anything at all, has anyone ever told you that?”

  She laughed. “Never. If anything, my family is more likely to comment on my blunt way of speaking. I take after my eldest sister in that way.”

  “The one who left,” he said.

  “Indeed.”

  “With a...pirate?” He fought a grin because the rumors that had swirled after that fateful seaside ball had been so very melodramatic. Only a fool would believe—

  “A privateer, to be precise.”

  He blinked. “Oh. I—er—that is a surprise.”

  She grinned. “It seems my sisters and I are not just odd for our upbringing. We have a peculiar penchant for pirates as well. We are all drawn to the sea.”

  He laughed. “Don’t tell me your father was actually a pirate? Or your mother?”

  Her smile slipped and he wished he could call back the words. Everyone who knew Captain Jones and his family knew that their mother had been lost at sea. “I apologize, I didn’t mean—”

  “No, no,” she said, her easy smile back once more. “You said nothing wrong. It is only that…” She pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes as if the correct words were written on the wall over his left shoulder. “It is just that we do not often speak of my mother.”

  He nodded. “Now that I can understand.”

  “Your family is the same in that sense, I take it?”

  He nodded. “It’s a difficult topic to broach, and my father, brother, and I each grieved in our own ways.”

  “Hmm.”

  He arched a brow. “You’re doing it again.”

  She pushed away from the wall with a laugh. “So I am. But I really ought to go check on Rebecca and see if your father needs anything before dinner—”

  “You have places to be and important duties to perform. I understand.” He was only half teasing.

  Her brows arched. “Have you nothing better to do than teach your guests how to ride?”

  He stepped in front of her, cutting off her path. He just wanted one glimpse of those marvelous eyes when she was teasing him like this.

  Teasing that was dangerously close to flirtation.

  “I don’t teach just any houseguest to ride,” he said.

  “Oh no?” She tilted her head to the side, ready to laugh.

  “Sometimes I teach them how to dance, too.”

  Her eyes widened. “But—”

  “No protests. Tomorrow we shall tackle our next topic.”

  She closed her mouth, her gaze thoughtful. “I would like to learn how to dance better before the ball. I’d hate to prove even more of an embarrassment to my family.”

  “You’re not an embarrassment at all. You’re—” Perfect. Charming. So extraordinarily unique. He cleared his throat and shoved all romantic notions to the side. “You’re necessary. My father would be lost without you.”

  “He would not, and you know it.”

  He nodded, far more serious now. “Whether he truly requires your assistance or not, he does need you.”

  She moved in closer. “He needs you as well.”

  The air felt thick with emotions and attraction and memories and...it was so very intimate that his first instinct was to break the moment with a joke.

  But he couldn’t. Not when she was looking at him like this. Like she saw him. All of him. “Maybe,” he finally agreed. “But I don’t know how to be what he needs.”

  She nodded, seeming to understand all that he was not saying.

  He realized with a start that this was the first time he’d ever felt that way—as though someone understood. As though someone looked at him and saw more.

  The way she was looking at him right now. It made him want to be more.

  “Sally, I—” He stopped because he had no idea what he wanted to say. No, that wasn’t quite right. He had an inkling of what he wanted to say, he just had no idea how to say it. In a family where feelings were best kept tucked away, it went beyond awkward and well into uncomfortable to try and air his emotions now.

  She waited expectantly.

  He cleared his throat. “I, er...I just wanted to apologize again for what you heard back there. As I’m sure you’re aware, good breeding does not necessarily equate to good manners. I wish you hadn’t heard that.”

  Her expression was difficult to read. Was it his imagination or did she seem disappointed?

  Or was that just him projecting his own deflation as the words that came out of his mouth were not at all what he’d meant to express?

  If she was disappointed, she recovered quickly with a smile and
a shrug. “It truly did not upset me.”

  “Really?” He ought to believe her, he supposed. She was unlike every other woman he’d met in every other way, it made sense she’d be pragmatic in the face of open mockery as well. And still… “It could not have been pleasant.”

  “Pleasant? No.” A glint of mischief in her eyes nearly took him down at the knees. Goodness but she was alarmingly striking when she got that look in her eye. “But don’t feel too sorry for me. It’s not as though Rebecca and I don’t whisper about them as well.”

  He burst out in a laugh. “Is that so? And what is it you say?”

  She gave an uncharacteristically coy smile. “Everyone is allowed their opinions and their secrets, Sebastian. Surely you understand that.”

  He rocked back on his heels as he pretended to consider. Meanwhile she started for the door again. He stopped her with another question. “Do you and your sister ever talk about me?”

  The question was juvenile and her expression said so quite clearly when she glanced back his way. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  He choked on a laugh as she disappeared, off to seek her sister or his father. And he was left wondering.

  What did she say about him?

  And why did he care so very much?

  Chapter 7

  Rebecca’s dark brown curls tickled Sally’s nose as her sister wrapped herself around one of Sally’s arms with a squeak of excitement. “Oh, I am so happy you agreed to accompany me into town today, Sally. It’s so much more fun to explore with you.”

  “By explore, do you by chance mean shopping?” Sally teased.

  Rebecca laughed. “Perhaps. But…” She cast Sally a sidelong glance. “Don’t tell me you were not just as excited to sneak away from that stuffy manor with all its insufferable ladies and gentlemen.”

  The way Rebecca lifted her nose in the air and the ridiculous tone of voice she used had Sally laughing outright. “I will not deny it. An excursion was well needed.” She squeezed Rebecca’s arm. “Even if I do have to watch you squander your allowance on silly trifles.”