Always Love You (MacLarens of Fire Mountain Contemporary series Book 5)

by Shirleen Davies

  “Hell, Amber. What I’m trying to say is I love you. I’ve always loved you. Never stopped.”

  “Eric—”

  “Please. Hear me out. I thought you were in my past, gone from my life for good. Then you showed up here, forced me to face the fact I’d never gotten you out of my system. It’s just…”

  In her heart, Amber thought she knew what he wanted to say. She didn’t want to hear it, yet knew it was the truth. “We’ve caused each other too much pain to be together again.”

  “Perhaps. And that’s the problem. I don’t know if we can put it all behind us and make it work.” He turned her hand over and rubbed circles on her wrist with his thumb, feeling her jolt at the sensations.

  He didn’t believe it would be difficult to get her into bed, take what he wanted, and walk out the door. They’d learned years ago how to ignore the real issues between them and let their lovemaking soothe their differences. They were too old to play those games any longer. Besides, he couldn’t do that to either of them.

  Amber could see the remorse on his face. It spoke to her more clearly than any words. He wanted her, said he still loved her, but he might never trust her again. And if she were honest, she had no desire to be with a man who would cut her off as Eric had done before. He’d given her an ultimatum without giving her a chance to explain. She’d made up her mind long ago not to be controlled by stipulations or settle for anything less than a full partnership, something she doubted Eric could offer.

  She pulled her hand from his and pushed away, creating some distance.

  “It nearly killed me when you gave me a choice to stay or go without hearing the explanation of why I wanted to try New York. You never even considered my request, just dismissed it and told me I had to choose. I tried several times to get you to talk about it, but you refused. You were so calm and controlled when we packed my car, never once indicating any regret, just acceptance. It took a long time before I realized you’d never loved me as I’d thought. If you had, you’d never have let me drive away. Leaving you was the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

  He didn’t want to hear how his actions may have caused the split, or if he’d handled it in a different way, she might have stayed. In his mind, all the blame rested with Amber and none with him. Had he been fooling himself all these years?

  “I admit I’ve never thought about it from your side. Then again, I never believed you ever considered how moving to New York would affect me and my plans.”

  “That’s because you refused to discuss it.” She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands, trying to relieve the tension and clear her head.

  Eric saw her exhaustion and knew nothing good would come of a discussion unless they were both prepared for it. He’d pushed too hard, surprising her, and perhaps hurting his chances at a second chance.

  “It’s late and tomorrow will be a long day. We both need some sleep. I’d better leave.” He stood and took the few steps to the door before turning back toward her. “I do love you, Amber. I did then and I do now. I don’t know if trying again will work, but I’m willing to give it a shot if you are—whatever it takes, everything I have. But I won’t bring it up again until you let me know you’re ready. You need to decide for yourself if what we had is worth a second chance.”

  He pulled the door closed behind him, leaving Amber alone and conflicted. She sat frozen in place, unable to move as she processed his last words. The sound of his footsteps faded into the distance, yet she still couldn’t rise from the sofa. Her hands were clasped so tight the knuckles had turned white. She took a shaky breath and stood.

  From her front window she could see Eric get into the truck and pull away. Part of her wanted to run after him, say she’d do whatever it took to try again. Another part warned her it could be a fool’s journey to another broken heart. She’d grown comfortable in a life filled with work and her close friendship with Dana. Her new job couldn’t be better—challenging and surrounded by people she respected, which included Eric. The decisions to buy a horse and a motorcycle were hers alone. She needed no one to approve or disagree with what she wanted to do. She had an independent life and saw no reason to change it—until now.

  ******

  The family crowded into the private surgery waiting room, some standing, others seated, waiting for news of Blake. Jace paced back and forth, had since they’d wheeled Blake away. Caroline was a rock, keeping him together since they’d first gotten the diagnosis.

  All heads turned as the doctor came through the door, walking toward Jace and Caroline.

  “He’s in recovery and everything looks good. As suspected, the cancer was localized and we believe we got all of it.”

  “Thank God.” Jace pulled Caroline into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “And a prosthesis?” he asked.

  “Done. He’d already consented and we saw no reason to wait.” He looked around the room, noting the number of people. “He’ll be able to see two people at a time, but for tonight, just Jace, Caroline, and maybe a couple of others. Blake should be feeling good enough to see anyone who wants to visit tomorrow.”

  “Thanks for everything.” Jace extended his hand before Caroline gave the doctor a hug.

  “I’ll be around to check on him later today and again tomorrow. I’m glad it turned out the way it did.” The doctor left, leaving the family to rejoice over the good news.

  “Why don’t you and Caroline stay? The rest of us will stop by tomorrow.” Heath clasped his brother on the shoulder. “If you want, I’ll call Brett, tell him all is good.”

  “Thanks, but we’ll call him, then he can speak with Blake when he’s coherent.” Jace offered a tired smile full of relief. He’d slept little and gotten up at four-thirty to get Blake to the hospital.

  “Tell Blake we’re all thinking about him and to prepare for a roomful of family tomorrow.”

  “Will do.” Jace turned toward Caroline, then swiveled back to Heath. “And thanks. Having everyone here meant a lot.”

  ******

  Eric left the hospital feeling a huge sense of relief at the success of Blake’s operation. He pulled into the MacLaren lot, spotted Amber’s car, and parked several spaces away. He would do what he promised—not pressure her and give her space. She’d need to come to him if she wanted to try again. In the meantime, he had a full schedule to keep up with and potential new properties to assess.

  “Eric, Keith Vance is on the phone for you. Do you want me to take a message?” Phyllis asked as he walked past her desk toward his office.

  “No, I’ll take it.” He hung up his jacket and grabbed the phone. “Hello, Keith.”

  “Good afternoon, Eric. Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

  “Not at all. What can I do for you?”

  “You mentioned wanting to expand your holdings in Austin, and I’ve just picked up the listing on a set of properties which might interest you. The owner has properties in Houston, also.”

  “It never hurts to look. When will you have all the details together?” Eric asked.

  “It’ll take a week or more. I’ll let you know. It might be an opportunity for me to come out to your place, make a presentation on the properties as well as the other services we discussed.”

  “That might work. Keep me posted and I’ll see what can be set up.” Eric made a note to speak with Heath and Jace about Keith’s call.

  “I’ll be in touch.”

  Eric had been impressed with Keith and his company. Having him travel to Fire Mountain to meet the rest of the management group might prove fruitful in securing other deals. The added benefit would be Keith meeting Amber. Once they met and he saw some of her work, he’d understand why Jax’s company wasn’t an option.

  The rest of the day passed without incident. He packed up at seven, noting Amber’s car was already missing from the lot. He hadn’t seen her at all, which given their recent encounter was probably for the best. Dinner and bed sounded real good. Tomorrow he’d go straight to the h
ospital.

  ******

  “Sorry I couldn’t take your call, Dana. I’m at home, so call me when you—”

  “I’m here, Amber.” Dana’s breathless voice sounded as if she’d just run up a flight of stairs.

  “Hey. I got your message earlier. Crazy day or I would’ve called back sooner. What’s the emergency?”

  “Not so much an emergency as the grapevine at work is running overtime. It’s all hush-hush, but it sounds like the company is having significant financial problems and may have to lay off a bunch of people.”

  “How’d you hear about it?” The news didn’t surprise Amber, she’d heard rumors for months of missed payments, quality issues, and a sales slump.

  “At lunch with a friend from accounting.”

  “Ava?”

  “You know I can’t tell you that.” Dana’s incredulous tone told Amber she’d guessed right.

  “Right. Okay, so what did Ava say?” Amber asked, getting a laugh out of Dana.

  “She’s been preparing numbers each week on certain trends and they aren’t improving. In fact, they’re tanking. They called her at home over the weekend, asked her to come in and run department numbers by employee with their salaries. She worked with someone from human resources for a couple of hours. That’s all I know. What do you think?”

  Amber held the glass of wine she’d poured before calling Dana and leaned against the kitchen counter, listening to Dana’s news. Even though distressing, it pulled her mind from Eric and their conversation the night before.

  “Doesn’t sound good. It wouldn’t hurt to start looking for something else, unless you want to find out if they offer some type of severance package.”

  “So you think Ava’s right to be concerned? She came on board about the same time I did, is single and has two kids. ”

  “I don’t know if she’s overreacting or not. I doubt she’d mention it at all if she didn’t have a pretty strong sense a layoff was being considered.” Amber had been reviewing expenses for outside services at MacLaren. One of the biggest was graphic design, Dana’s field. “Look, let me do some checking where I work. Maybe they’d have some interest in bringing the design business inside.”

  “That’d be great. I’ll start looking for possibilities here. As you know, anyone associated with the marketing group tends to be first to get the boot.”

  “It’s always been like that. I’ll let you know what I find out.”

  “Anything happening with Eric?”

  “Nope. Not a thing.” She felt bad lying to Dana, but wasn’t prepared to share what she and Eric had discussed, at least not yet. She needed time and a clear head. “I haven’t eaten and am starving. I’ll call you later this week. Keep me posted if you hear anything else.”

  “I will. Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight.”

  Amber set down the phone and poured a bowl of cereal, having no desire to cook. She’d seen Eric’s truck when she left work, feeling a slight clenching of her stomach at the reminder of their talk. It had been on her mind all day. In truth, she hadn’t been able to rid her thoughts of everything that happened with him yesterday. It had been so long and he’d felt so right. If she hadn’t broken the spell, asked the question, they may have ended up in bed, waking up together this morning with nothing resolved.

  Amber finished her cereal, then opened and closed cupboards, inspecting her supplies. She’d already heard from Cassie about the success of Blake’s operation. It didn’t seem right for her to stop by the hospital when she hadn’t met the young man. Instead she decided to bake and put it all in a basket for someone to deliver to his room. At least she’d feel as if she were doing something for him without intruding on the family’s personal space.

  She went to work, and by midnight inspected a beautiful array of her mother’s favorite recipes. Food she’d made for Amber’s brothers, Ryan and Jake. She packaged and set it next to the front door before changing and climbing into bed. Perhaps tonight she’d be able to fall asleep without dealing with the continual images of Eric or remembering the feel of his lips on hers.

  Chapter Ten

  “Delivery,” Rafe called as he walked through the door to Blake’s room, carrying a large basket filled with assorted cookies and brownies. He set it down and handed the card to Blake, nodding at the others in the room. He’d just flown in from Montana, wanting to see Blake and also visit with his sons, Mitch and Kade.

  Blake opened the envelope and read the card, smiling as he closed it up.

  “Well, who’s it from?” Jace asked.

  “Someone named Amber Anderson.” He shrugged, unfamiliar with the name.

  “Well, that was sweet of her.” Annie reached for the card and read it. “As I recall, that girl can bake.”

  “You know her?” Blake asked.

  “We all do. She’s the new Director of Marketing,” Heath said.

  Blake’s eyes widened at the news and he shot a look at Eric. “This wouldn’t be the Amber, would it?”

  Eric shifted from one foot to another, crossing his arms across his chest. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Come on, Eric. The Amber who was the model in the magazine ad you had on your desk last summer. I saw it during one of our meetings. Knock-out figure, stunning smile, unbelievable—”

  “Fine. I remember, and yes, it’s the same woman.”

  Blake’s self-satisfied smile irritated Eric, but he shrugged it off.

  “Did you see her in the hospital?” Blake asked Rafe.

  “She was downstairs handing it off to a nurse to bring up when I saw her. I offered to take it.”

  “Why didn’t she just come up herself?” Annie asked.

  “Don’t know. She was talking to a Doctor Newcastle. Followed him into the cafeteria as I left.” Rafe took off his hat and set it on a nearby table, glancing at Kade but saying nothing.

  “The older Dr. Newcastle or younger one?” Annie asked.

  “How should I know?” Rafe asked. “About Cam and Kade’s age.”

  “Ah, Dylan Newcastle, the hunk,” Cassie interjected, remembering the doctor from when Annie had gone through her physical therapy.

  “Hunk? I wouldn’t call him a hunk.” Eric shifted again, clearly unhappy with the direction of the conversation.

  “You’re not a woman. Trust me. The man’s a total stud. I wonder how Amber would know him.” Cassie’s brows knit together. “I sure wish he’d notice me.”

  Lainey laughed. “Cassie, you may not realize it, but you have guys falling over you all the time. You’re just too busy to notice.”

  “Excuse me. I need to grab some coffee.” Eric strode out of the room, never breaking stride as he took the elevator down and walked toward the cafeteria.

  “What was that about?” Heath asked as he glanced at Annie.

  “I haven’t the foggiest,” Annie replied, although she thought she might have an idea.

  ******

  Eric grabbed a cup of coffee and searched the room, finding Amber sitting at a table with Dylan Newcastle. He’d met the doctor when his mother had gone in for her follow-up visits with his uncle, Barry Newcastle. From what he could tell, both were excellent doctors and both were single.

  He made his way through the tables until he stood beside Dylan and extended his hand.

  “Dylan.”

  He looked up, and recognizing Eric, stood to shake his hand. “Eric. It’s good to see you again. Please join us. Amber mentioned Blake MacLaren is in the hospital. Hope it all goes well.”

  Eric took a seat, nodding at Amber. “According to his doctors the surgery went well. He’s in great spirits, although still in pain. They hope to release him tomorrow or the following day.” He glanced at Amber. “Rafe brought up the basket. You should go to Blake’s room and let him thank you in person.”

  “I hope he likes everything. They’re the recipes mother used when she sent food to Ryan and Jake when they were in college.”

  “All I know
is he was tearing the wrapping open when I left. Apparently hospital food isn’t substantial enough for a six-foot-four football player. How are your brothers?”

  “Good. Busy with their jobs, some of which they can’t talk about.” She looked at Dylan. “Both my brothers are younger than me. Ryan graduated from the Naval Academy and Jake from West Point.”

  “I’d like to meet them sometime.” Dylan took a big swallow of his soda, wondering at the relationship between Eric and Amber. They seemed to know each other pretty well for her brief length of time in Fire Mountain.

  “The truth is I’d like to see them, too,” Amber joked. “I can’t recall the last time we were all together for Christmas, or any holiday. It’s all right, though. They’re doing what they love and both are happy.”

  “Guess I’d better get back to my rounds. Eric, it was good to see you again. Give my best to your family.” He glanced at Amber. “I’ll look forward to seeing you on Saturday.” Dylan pushed from the table and walked out.

  Amber focused on Dylan’s empty chair, avoiding Eric’s gaze. She didn’t want to explain anything regarding Dylan and wasn’t prepared to talk about the two of them. Not yet.

  “Are you dating him?” Eric’s voice had turned flat and cold.

  “Not that it’s your business, but no, we aren’t dating. He knows I haven’t been here long and asked if I would be interested in hiking with him and some friends on Saturday. I said I would.”

  Eric’s jaw worked, but he didn’t respond. He’d opened himself up the other night, hoping they might have a chance. He didn’t know what to think of Dylan’s obvious interest in Amber or her desire to spend time with him. Maybe friendship, maybe more. He sure as hell didn’t like it.

  “I see. Well, I guess I’d better go back upstairs. Consider stopping by and introducing yourself to Blake. He’d like to meet you.” He stood and turned toward the door.

  “Eric.”

  He looked over his shoulder at her.

  “About Dylan—”