Fear Me

by B. B. Reid

  The three of them left the room after saying good-bye and I helped my grandmother over to her bed. She must have really been tired because she didn’t fuss over the help as usual.

  “Thank you dear. There is nothing like old age for the muscles.”

  “It seems to make you feistier too.”

  “Now don’t go getting your knickers in a bunch. Those boys needed to be brought to heel. If only your father was here to meet that man of yours.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because those two couldn’t be more opposite. Your father was a gentle soul. Both him and your mother. They would probably faint if they knew their baby girl was in love with a guy like him.”

  “We never said –”

  “Just because you haven’t spoken it doesn’t mean you don’t feel it.”

  “I don’t understand much of what I feel or think these days.”

  “Honey… that is just your heart holding on to what your brain is saying you can’t have.”

  “So which should I listen to?”

  “Whichever feels right. You don’t need to understand it. Trust in yourself. That’s all you can do.” She closed her eyes, fatigue taking over so I tucked her in and rose from my chair.

  I was placing the picture I brought with me on her nightstand when I noticed a photo of my mother that wasn’t there before, resting on the wooden top. She was dressed in a pretty sundress, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders and I could tell it was a summer picture.

  She was standing in front of the beautiful brick house I once called home…and holding a baby I knew to be myself. Her smile alone gave the picture life as she looked down at me clutching the top of her dress and looking back up at her, a grin expanding my chubby cheeks.

  By the age of eight I had plenty of memories of my parents and in none of them could I ever remember not feeling loved. I remember my mother crying the day they left. My father almost canceled the entire trip.

  “Did my parents leave me?” I asked before I could rethink or stop myself.

  “They will never leave you, Lake.” The pain in her voice was evident. She was fighting to hold onto to her memory while I had long since let them both go. Though she never talked about my mom either I know she misses her. I never thought about how hard it must be to lose a child and not know why.

  “So where are they?” Everyone was so sure that my parents didn’t bail but there was never any sign of foul play. How could they just vanish?

  “I wish I knew.”

  * * *

  Once we were through the door of my house after returning from Whispering Pines, I turned on Keiran who stopped short, just inside the door, and looked at me curiously. “Stay away from her,” I said simply.

  The entire ride back I battled feelings of regret. I had exposed my grandmother to Keiran. Now he had one more person to use against me if he chose. He now knew who she was and where she was and worse…she wouldn’t remember who he was.

  He wore an indifferent look on his face when he shut the door. “Are you going to give me a reason not to?”

  His lack of reassurance was unexpected and dangerous to my peace of mind. “Keiran this is my grandmother! She’s old and helpless. How can you even think to –”

  “I wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t, so I won’t tell you otherwise.”

  “But what reason could you possibly have to go after her?” Out of the only two people in this room, Keiran was the dangerous one yet all the hostility and anger radiated off of me. His nonchalance for human life was chilling.

  “I want you to stay away from my past. I know you’re still digging but it ends now.”

  “Where is this coming from?”

  “I’ve asked you before. I’m telling you now.”

  “Just tell me whatever it is that you don’t want me to find!” I yelled, losing patience but he was gone before I finished and the sound of the front door slamming was my only answer. I slid to the floor in defeat when I realized that Keiran would never open up to me.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “Where were you all of Sunday? I called you a hundred times.” I listened to Sheldon fuss as we walked down the hallway. It was lunch period and I’d just got out of volleyball, which wasn’t as fun without Willow. She texted this morning to say she was sick and skipping school.

  “Sorry, I just had a lot on my mind and needed time to think.”

  “Bummers. I wanted you to come with me to my audition. Felix is looking for a face for his new clothing line.”

  “I’m really sorry, Sheldon. How did you do?” I asked, feeling like shit because I forgot about her audition.

  “Canceled. I was too nervous. Dash had offered to go with me but he disappeared too.”

  “Are you sure modeling is what you want to do?”

  “It’s been my dream since I saw my first show. Dad says I have to go to college first but after that my dreams are my own.”

  “Are you okay with that?”

  “I guess so. Going to college isn’t so bad.” I shook my head and started putting my bags in my locker.

  “Sheldon you have to think –”

  “Is that a bite mark?” she asked, interrupting what I was about to say.

  Shit. I’d become so used to Keiran leaving bite marks on me that I stopped noticing. I looked down to see my oversized sweater had fallen off my shoulder exposing the red patch and indentations where my neck met my shoulders. I quickly pulled it back over my shoulders and finished stuffing my books into my locker. I avoided her gaze and heard her laugh.

  “Kinky. I like it,” she chuckled. “Dash told me you guys went to see your grandmother. I’m shocked.”

  “Why are you shocked?’

  “Because of Keiran’s obvious disdain for anything resembling a parent.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe because he didn’t know his father and his mother dropped him off on a stranger’s doorstep?”

  But bad parents don’t cause someone to become this troubled without something much worse happening. There were so many holes that only he could fill. “I wish I could get him to talk to me.”

  “If anyone can get him to open up it would be you.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You’re the only one who affects Keiran in any way. He would talk…for you. You just need to know the right words to say.”

  “Sup beautiful ladies?” Keenan came and hooked his arms around our shoulders with a cute grin on his face. “Do you know just by standing there together you’ve already fulfilled one of my fantasies? Now I just have to figure out how to get you two naked…with me in between.”

  “Before or after Keiran and I take turns killing you?” Sheldon quipped.

  “Semantics. What are you two whispering about?” he cast suspicious glances between us and attempted to look intimidating. I’m pretty sure he could if he wasn’t such a goof.

  “Our periods,” Sheldon answered gleefully.

  “Eww, babe.”

  “You asked.”

  “But you didn’t have to tell me that!”

  Aaaaand they’re arguing again. I listened to them bicker back and forth. Sometimes I think they argued on purpose. Sheldon told me that makeup sex was out of this world but I’ve had Keiran’s angry sex so I don’t think it would be wise to pick fights with him.

  “Guys I’m hungry,” I said interrupting their argument. “Anyone know where Keiran is?”

  “He’s with coach. He told me to take you to lunch if he’s running late.”

  “So I guess that means you’re still my body guard?” I asked, slightly annoyed. Did he still not trust me?

  “In a way,” he smirked.

  “Because I can’t be trusted. I get it.” I really don’t.

  “No, because Keiran doesn’t trust anyone. Especially with you.”

  “What happened to his parents?” I blurted. I was planning to ask that question in a crowded hallway during the middle of th
e school day but hey…shit happens. I was done skating around the issue.

  Keenan froze and then glared at Sheldon who actually looked contrite for once. “What makes you think something happened?”

  “Keenan…”

  “I don’t know, okay? He doesn’t talk about it. He probably doesn’t even remember.” He looked away and I could tell he was either lying or holding back something. Just then Dash walked up to our circle with a scowl on his face.

  “Where’s your girl?”

  “You tell me…you were with her last.” He thumbed his chin and eyed me before rolling his eyes and fishing out his phone. He punched in some numbers, mumbling. After dialing into his phone three times he muttered, “this is bullshit” and walked off.

  “Willow still won’t talk to him?” Sheldon asked.

  “Would you?” I asked.

  “I’d cut his dick off and hang it over my mantle.”

  Keenan gave Sheldon a crazy look. “So you’d touch your brother’s dick?”

  “Of course not. I’d make you do it, pumpkin.” She planted a loud kiss on his cheek.

  “Oh no. I’m not doing that again.”

  “Again?” We both asked at the same time.

  Keenan scratched the back of his neck. “I uhh…lost a bet last year so I had to hold his dick for two minutes.”

  My mouth fell open and Sheldon was bent over laughing. “Oh honey, you’re such a pussy,” she chortled.

  “Hey, he had pants on!” Keenan said defensively. He looked at me pleadingly and said, “Don’t tell Keiran alright?”

  “Why?”

  “Because then he’d make me hold his dick.”

  We burst out laughing and I fell to me knees clutching my stomach. Keenan’s face was surely a Kodak moment. “What’s so funny?” Keiran’s voice suddenly came from behind us. I was still on the floor laughing as he approached. “Why she is on the floor?” he asked, mean mugging Keenan.

  “Whatever, you guys are lame,” Keenan muttered walking off. Sheldon followed after him, still laughing.

  “Lake, get off the floor, baby.” Oh so now I’m ‘baby’ again? I rolled my eyes and ignored the butterflies that erupted in my stomach each time he said it. It always sounded so sexy and sensual and intimate. Now, he only used my last name when he was being a dick or I was being punished. He scooped me up when I took too long to move but kept his hands on my hips, tugging me into him.

  “How was volleyball?” he asked pecking me on my lips. I stared at him in surprise considering what happened the last time we talked. It was becoming really hard to keep up with his moods. Or maybe I was the only one who carried grudges over an entire weekend.

  “Oh you know…someone hits the ball over the net so I hit the ball back over. It’s sort of like playing hot potato but with a volleyball that’s not hot.” He ignored my sarcasm and used the opportunity to feel me up instead. Thankfully, everyone had either gone to lunch or class so no one was left in the hallway but us. “What did you have to see Coach about?” It wasn’t important for me to know but I needed a distraction from the feeling of his hands on me.

  “He wanted to talk to me about our next win.” I smiled at his assumption that the team would win their first game.

  “Cocky much?” He gave me a lopsided grin that I thought made him look adorably human and started kissing on my neck. “Are you trying to go pro?”

  “That’s the plan,” he mumbled against my neck.

  “Are scouts still considering you for college ball?”

  “Coach said they’re eager to see me perform this year.” He lifted his head from my neck and look down at me with a serious expression. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”

  “Okay.”

  “I need to bring my game stronger than I have before considering the year I missed and the circumstances. I’m not blaming you so fix your face,” he added when I sent him withering look. “That year was justified for the shit that I have done.” Like murder a little girl? I masked the nauseous feeling that overcame me but realized I missed part of what he was saying. “…I’m going to be practicing a lot and won’t have a lot of spare time.”

  The bell rang just as I caught on to what he was telling me. “I understand.”

  “Do you?”

  “We aren’t dating, Keiran. No worries.” He narrowed his eyes before he took my lips with his in a possessive kiss that said otherwise. We ended up spending the entire lunch period making out against the lockers and thankfully weren’t caught. I had to end it when he tried to stick his hand down my pants. He didn’t put up too much of a stink even though his face said he wanted to because the bell rang. He wordlessly led me to class and when we arrived he slapped me on the ass and walked off.

  I watched him swagger down the hall and couldn’t help but admit how much I loved his walk…and every other girl in the vicinity. Some even stopped to stare or reach out to touch him.

  Horny hoebags.

  I wanted to yell that he was mine even though he never would be. I still took evil pleasure in how he ignored and shook them off and before he turned the corner he looked back at me as if sensing I was still there. He winked and disappeared around the corner.

  * * *

  It wasn’t even five minutes into class when a couple of uniforms walked in flashing badges. For some reason my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why until I looked over a few rows and noticed an empty seat.

  Anya’s empty seat.

  The fair and everything that happened rushed back. Dash and Keenan drove off with them and Keiran hasn’t said a word but I knew they had to have taken them to him. Whatever I was expecting them to do in retaliation didn’t end with them, or rather, Anya not showing up to school. Maybe she’s out sick.

  The other students started to get riled as the two officers spoke to our teacher.

  “Class settle down. The police are looking for Anya Risdell and Trevor Reynolds and are asking for our full cooperation. Every student will be scheduled for an individual interview with your parents over the next few days. They ask if you have any information on their disappearance you come forth with it as soon as possible.

  Just then one of the officer’s eyes connected with mine and I recognized him as the partner of Trevor’s dad and the one who cuffed Keiran the night of the break-in. Shit. His was grilling me with his eyes and I fidgeted in my seat, nervously. My phone buzzed in my pocket so I pulled it out, thankful for the distraction from the officer.

  K: R u ok?

  Lake: No…

  K: I’ll take care of it.

  Lake: Like you took care of them?

  K: Jeez, Lake. Don’t say that shit over the phone.

  Lake: Sorry. I don’t know what to do.

  K: Be there in two.

  No matter how much I tried I couldn’t tamp down the nervous feelings or the bile that steadily rose. Keiran appeared in the doorway and walked right in. He ignored the officers who were talking to the class and my teacher who looked pretty pissed off but didn’t say anything. He walked up to my desk, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up from the seat. I hurriedly grabbed my bag just in case I didn’t or couldn’t come back.

  “You are quickly putting me on every teacher’s shit list you know.”

  “At least we’ll be together,” he smirked.

  “Keiran what did you do?” I asked once we were out of earshot. He backed me into the lockers and rested his forearm above my head.

  “I was caring,” he answered sarcastically. “The less you know the better. This is my shit.”

  “Someone could have saw them being taken.”

  “Let me worry about that. You don’t know anything. That’s what you tell them when they ask.”

  “But I do know something!” He narrowed his eyes and I felt that familiar chill that I mistakenly thought was long gone.

  “So what do you plan to tell them?”

  “Don’t do that. You don’t get to look at me as if I already betrayed y
ou. I don’t owe you anything.”

  Instead of responding he took my lips with his, opening me up for his tongue, which I took greedily. The stress and fear of our current situation had me needy and trying to climb his body right there in the hallway. “Do you want to get out of here?” he asked, lifting his lips from mine.

  “I would like that very much but I can’t. I have a test coming up and a project due in Art next period. Are you leaving?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not leaving you here alone.”

  “My hero,” I whispered, smiling teasingly up at him. When he flinched and his gaze became murderous, I remembered his feelings about heroes. His reaction made me think it was more than just an opinion.

  The police officers came out the room and cast us hard glances. I looked back at them nervously. I was probably giving everything away with my face. Keiran’s back was turned so he didn’t see them come out. I was distracted from their scrutiny when Keiran used his thumb to rub small circles over my lower stomach, just as I was about to warn him.

  “I should get back,” I whispered.

  “You should. The pervs are watching,” he said indicating the cops at the other end of the hall. I looked back at the cops and notice them saying something to each other but they were too far away for us to hear.

  “You’re way too calm about this,” I remarked. It was actually making me nervous rather than assuring me. The cops were watching us too hard and standing around as they were waiting for something. He shrugged, dropped his arm from over my head and backed away from me.

  I missed the safety his closeness created. It felt like my personal hideaway from the world. Funny when he used to be the only thing I needed to hide from not so long ago. Maybe he still was, I thought, thinking about Anya, Trevor, and what he said about my grandmother.

  He nudged me to the door but this time waited from me to go inside before heading in the direction of the officers. I couldn’t resist so I peeked my head outside the door, fully aware that the entire class along with my teacher’s attention was on me. When Keiran was in hearing distance the officer said something to him and I tensed even though I couldn’t hear. Keiran didn’t stop to talk to them, though. His only acknowledgment was to flip them off. I watched him climb the stairs, taking two at time, until he disappeared.