hey say prayer changes things, and Cartier finally believed. She had been praying for months to have a healthy baby and be released from prison. When she met the parole board and outlined why she should be released, she was more vocal than other times she had met the board. Her compelling argument was that she was a mother and she wanted and needed to raise her child, so her child would never call any prison in the United States home.
When Cartier received the news she had been paroled, she could hardly believe it. When she received the letter the next day, it stated that she would be going home in two weeks. She couldn't wait to be with her family and primarily, back with Christian, who was almost two months old. She knew Trina was doing a great job raising her, but she surmised a baby needs her mother.
The long walk to the telephone was more a glide or an eager strut on this beautiful day. It could be storming or in the midst of the worst blizzard in the history of New York, Cartier didn't care. This day was a beautiful day.
Her first call was to Trina. Her smile stretched from ear to ear as she dialed the numbers. Of course, Trina was asleep at ten o'clock in the morning.
"Ma, wake up. I got good news," Cartier screamed in the phone.
"Well, go on and say it," Trina's voice dragged. "I'm tired as hell. These kids done kept me up all night crying and then Crissy woke me up at six o'clock this morning for her bottle and wouldn't go back to sleep. I just got her to get some sleep."
"You won't be going through that much longer,'cause guess who's coming home?"
Trina sat straight up in bed. "See! What did I tell you? My baby is coming home ... praise God:"
Tears of joy began to run down each woman's face. Cartier couldn't wait to hold Christian again and rock her to sleep or lay in bed with her daughter wrapped in her arms.
"You did tell me that they would cut me loose ... truthfully I had my doubts. But it don't matter anymore. From here on out I'm going to start thinking and being positive. Ma, I'm tired of living the street life. When I get out I'm going to make something out of myself."
"I know you will," Trina agreed. "If I can't be the role model then you will. These kids need someone to look up too. Here, wait, Prada wants to talk to you."
"Hi Cartier. I miss you," her sister stated.
"I miss you too."
"I was playing with the baby and she was smiling. She's my niece. Did you know that?"
"Of course I knew that. OK, be a good girl and I'll see you soon."
Cartier hung up and called Jason immediately. When it went to voicemail, her stomach churned. Her stomach always did that if she called him early in the morning and he didn't pick up. Her mind went wild thinking he was in bed with a bitch. But Cartier told herself that Jason was a man and he had needs, but when she came home all that shit was going to stop. Since she just received her walking papers, she knew her future was going to be a bright one. She wasn't going to settle for less.
n the morning of her release, Cartier didn't take any of the items she had accumulated in prison, except her family photos. She didn't even take the letters and cards, for fear it would be a reminder of her days being locked away. She styled her hair, which was now nearly touching her butt, in a tight ponytail and painted her fingernails and toes. Jason had purchased her a nice designer dress and high-heel stilettos. She looked and felt great. Cartier was ready to take on the world.
The gates of the prison opened and Jason, Christian, Trina, Prada, and Fendi sat perched in Jason's Yukon Denali. He'd come a long way from driving his used Nissan Pathfinder. Jason walked over, embraced Cartier warmly, and kissed her on her neck.
Cartier then ran to the car and grabbed Christian. The little baby just stared into her mother's eyes. Cartier hadn't seen her since her birth. She didn't want anyone to bring her daughter to the prison. She didn't ever want her daughter to step one foot inside a prison. Cartier inhaled Christian's scent and fell in love all over again. This was one of the happiest moments in her life.
"Get in, let's get out of here. Haven't you been here long enough?"Jason asked after Cartier had embraced everyone.
"You got that right;' she replied. "Where are we going?"
"Where do you want to go?"Jason asked.
"I want to go and have a real dinner. Some place nice," Cartier suggested.
"OK, but we gotta do that later," Jason added. "I got some business I need to take care of. I'm going to drop y'all off at your mom's house and come back and pick you up later."
"Why are we going to my mom's? You can drop me and Christian off at your apartment," Cartier snapped, annoyed with the bullshit.
"I ain't got no problem with you going to my crib-"
"Our crib," Cartier corrected.
"You right. What's mine is yours. You're my wife and that was always the plan. But I thought you wanted to spend time with your family. I said I was going to come back and pick you up and take you home
Cartier thought for a moment. She did miss Trina and her sisters and wanted to spend time with them.
"OK, that's cool. Drop us off at my mom's and come back later. But I'm really stressed out"
"Stressed out about what?" Jason asked.
"You knew I was coming home. Today should have been family day. You got a wife and a daughter to think about."
"Wait a minute. I've been thinking about you and only you when other motherfuckers abandoned your ass for seven years. Don't come out here lecturing me!"
"Other motherfuckers abandoned me? Who? Who are you talking about? Because the only motherfucker that abandoned me was your fucking baby momma:"
"Oh here we go.. "
"You brought it up. What? You ain't got shit to say now, do you?"
"Look, y'all need to stop all that fussing in front of these kids. It's too early to be arguing like that," Trina stated.
Both Jason and Cartier adhered to Trina's demand. Cartier felt betrayed and Jason was fuming. For Cartier, this wasn't what she imagined her first day out of prison to be like. She chose to shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride back to Brooklyn.
Jason had bigger problems than what Cartier was trying to conjure up. In Jason's mind, he was going to handle something that would affect the both of them. Two months ago, he messed around and slept with a stripper without a condom. Now she was screaming she was pregnant and needed him to provide money for an abortion. Jason didn't have any issues about paying for the abortion. But he was going with her to the clinic to make sure she actually went through with it. He couldn't afford another headache and he definitely couldn't think about what would happen if Cartier found out.
He decided to change the subject. "So where are we going to eat tonight?" Jason asked. "Or do you want to cook?"
"Didn't I say I want to go out?" Cartier said with anger and angst in her voice. "I just did a seven-year bid and you're already ready to throw me in a house and lock me down."
Jason knew she was flipping because she was angry that they weren't going to be together. But he was prepared to make love to her all night and take away all her frustrations.
Jason truly loved Cartier and really wanted to make it work. He wanted a cooperative marriage, whereas they both loved and encouraged each other to be better people. He didn't like to see her sad or stressed out, but as much as he tried, he couldn't stop doing dumb things in the heat of the moment. Jason knew what it would take for Cartier to fully trust him again. He understood women and their values, and women needed to understand men.
Cartier was unique in Jason's eyes, which made her special to him. He knew he wasn't the first to be with Cartier sexually, but he didn't know the other guys she had slept with. Unlike Monya. She'd slayed the whole neighborhood and then spilled out into other boroughs. Monya would always be a jump off, unfortunately for him; she would also always be his baby momma. Jason knew women valued emotional support and adulation from their men. He was prepared to do all of that for Cartier.
Cartier kissed Jason and bid him farewell. "Be safe," she called out to him a
s he rolled up his window. Before she could even turn around, she heard an unrecognizable voice call out her name. With Christian perched on her hip, she stared at her former friend, Lil Momma.
"Is that really you?" Lil Momma asked.
Cartier didn't know how to respond. Lil Momma was standing there grinning warmly, which was a far change from the ice-grill Cartier remembered. One part of her wanted to keep the bullshit going and scream on Lil Momma for many reasons. But it was the past and she wanted to leave the past where it belonged. She chose to be the bigger person.
Lil Momma detected Cartier's hesitation. "Just for the record, I told Monya that that was fucked up what she did messing around with Jason behind your back."
"Really?"
"Yup. You know I never had a problem speaking my mind. I don't hold my tongue for nobody and right is right-wrong is wrong."
Cartier shifted Christian to her other hip. "This is my little girl, Christian."
Lil Momma peered over and looked into the infant's face. "She's gorgeous.
The proud mother beamed, "Thank you. Take care of yourself."
"You too"
Cartier had mixed emotions about Lil Momma and the Cartel. She had just done seven years of her life in prison, because she thought she was the leader and had to stand on the front line. But those years made her realize she was young. Hell, they were all young-trying to play in a grown person's world. She had made a vow to create a better life for herself and her child, and hopefully, Jason. The past needed to stay in the past.
"Cartier?" Lil Momma called out.
"Yes?"
"Take my number. Call me sometimes. Maybe we could do lunch or something. Talk about old times."
Cartier shook her head rapidly. "No, thank you."
Cartier walked toward the building where Trina and the kids were waiting for her. Trina nodded. "You did good. I wouldn't take that bitch's number either! I woulda told her to kiss my black ass!"
They both burst out into laughter.
"Yeah, I wanted to say all of that, but she ain't worth it," Cartier stated.
After walking five flights to the apartment, Cartier was amazed that everything still looked the same, except her bedroom had become Prada and Fendi's room. Her full-sized bed was now replaced with two twin beds and a crib. Barney, Strawberry Shortcake, and Dora flooded the room. It was a little girl's heaven. Cartier kicked off her heels and sat down on the sofa.
"You hungry?" Trina asked.
Cartier shrugged her shoulders. "A little bit." She paused. Though she was home, she was still trying to get her bearings. "It feels so strange to be back here after all this time."
"This is your home too, so I don't ever want you to think that you gotta put up with bullshit. You will always have a roof over your head if things don't work out with you and Jason."
"See, Ma, that's just it," Cartier began to explain. "I want to be fully committed to my marriage. I want to raise our child in a two-parent home and give her everything I didn't have. Jason has a good heart. That's evident with him doing this bid with me. He just fucked up, as men do and we gotta live with that. If every time we get into an argument, I come running home to Mommy, then he'll start to get used to that and take my absence as a way to fuck up even more."
"Chile, where you learn all that from? 'Cause I know you ain't get that from me."
Cartier smiled slightly. "I read a few self-help books while in prison after the Monya scandal. I needed to deal with it before I came home, because I swear the old Cartier would have beat the brakes off that bitch!" As Cartier spoke, her voice elevated to a high pitch.
"See now that's the child I know and love," Trina said proudly.
Trina walked into her room and retrieved Cartier's stash. Over the years, Trina had dipped in it here and there, but she used discipline. She didn't want her daughter coming home to nothing and having to go back out on the streets to make a living. Trina reasoned that Cartier not having anything led to her life in the streets and that led to her losing seven years of freedom. At least now, she came home to something and that would keep her from her past lifestyle.
"Here," Trina said and shoved the box in Cartier's hands. "It's about five large short and the jewelry's still there."
Cartier exhaled as she opened up the box and looked at the crisp money folded tightly together in rubber bands. All at once, a flood of emotions came rushing back. She was such a dictator back then. It was no wonder most of her friends turned their backs on her when she needed them most. She was so bossy and always talked about the code. The same code she didn't abide by and made her less of a friend and more of a tyrant. She was ashamed of herself and of what she'd done. Although she didn't push the knife into Donnie's back, it was equally her fault that he was dead.
As she looked at the money and jewelry, she realized she could always be angry for taking the weight for Monya, but one day she had to even leave that be. Of course, Monya wasn't an innocent victim. Cartier knew if the police knew the facts, she would have still gone to jail. But Monya would have shared a cell and probably got more time. Cartier shook her head. The madness of it all.
She glanced over at Christian sleeping peacefully and then thought about Jason. What if someone took his life? Or took Cartier's life? Their child would grow up without a mother or father. That was exactly what Cartier and Monya did to Donnie.
"I don't want this blood money," she began.
Trina spun around. "What you talking about you don't want it? What does that mean?"
"It means just that. I simply don't want it. All that money will do is destroy everything bought from it and I don't want any more dark days in my life."
"I done struggled, sacrificed, and put your needs before mine," Trina replied. "All these years so when you came out you'd have some money to start fresh, and now you're saying that I could have used that money to provide a better lifestyle for me and these kids?"
Cartier was quickly annoyed. Her chest heaved up and down from stress. The day wasn't going how she'd envisioned all these years.
"Ma, you acting as if that's your money," Cartier responded. "You didn't do one thing to earn one dollar in this here box. This is blood money and I don't have to explain anything about its contents to you. I'm giving the Cartel their share of the money and that's all I have to say about it."
"The Cartel?" Trina was mortified. Images of fur coats and crocodile shoes began flashing through her head. She could have thought of a million ways she could have fucked up that money. Rage was boiling over inside of her and she didn't know how to react. Surely, she didn't raise no fool, but Cartier was acting as if she'd gotten hit with the dumb branch of the tree and Trina didn't like it one bit.
"Yes, the Cartel," Cartier said. "This money is rightfully theirs as it is mine."
Trina thought for a second. Her daughter was serious and short of fighting her for the money. She knew it was a good as gone.
"But part of it is yours too, so why can't you give me your share? It ain't like we in here living in the lap of luxury. We need shit too. Besides, the Cartel got enough drug money. They probably won't even take your little funky offering. And also, I think that you're beefing by giving them that money. After all they've done to you it will seem to them that you're trying to buy back their friendship. I don't know about you, but my pride wouldn't allow me to feel like that."
"Look, Ma, don't try and play those Jedi mind tricks. Ain't nobody on this here earth going to turn down green money. I don't care how much they got in the stash."
"But, Cartier, I expected you to do something with this money," Trina said honestly. "I was hoping you'd invest it into something that would bring more money and in the long run if you were all right financially, then you make sure I was all right. If you give that money away what you gonna have? Nothing. You'll be starting from scratch."
"Ma, I got a husband who will support his family until I'm stable enough to contribute. That's all I need. And you're correct and I need you to rest in
my words. Once I'm financially stable, you won't want for anything. I promise you that."
Trina shrugged. There wasn't anything she could say. She turned around away from the box of money and retreated to the quiet of her bedroom. She was done talking. Mostly, she was done looking in Cartier's face. Trina couldn't face stupid. At the moment, Trina reasoned that Cartier's first name was now Stupid.
artier had dozed off to sleep on her mother's sofa and was knocked out. She didn't even hear the doorbell ringing, although she was just inches away.
"Cartier, didn't you hear the door?" Trina screamed, who was still sour about the money issue.
"I would have answered it if I heard it," Cartier said as she stood up, stretched, and wiped the cold out of her eyes. She knew Trina was still bitter and she wasn't about to feed into her mother's drama. She looked out the window and it was pitch dark. It felt late. Jason came strolling through as if it wasn't nearly eleven o'clock at night. Once Cartier realized the time, her nerves were irked, but she refused to curse his silly ass out. She decided that they would talk about it like adults once they were alone.
"What's up, baby?"Jason asked and pecked Cartier on her cheek. "I'm sorry I'm late. I got caught up in so much stuff tonight, you wouldn't believe it."
Cartier slowly shook her head up and down. "That's cool. Let me go and get Christian and then I'm ready." Cartier began packing up a few things, including the money in a small duffle bag, scooped up Christian, kissed Trina, and they were off.
Once safely inside the confines of his Yukon, Cartier started off slowly.
"I understand that all ofthis is new to you and that you're not used to having a curfew. But your daughter shouldn't be out here almost midnight waiting on her father to come and pick her up. Whatever you had to do could have waited until tomorrow. I'm not even going to throw my feelings in the mix."
"You right. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"Where were you?" she surprisingly asked.
"Huh?"Jason was clearly caught off guard by the question.
Cartier cut her eyes. She didn't want to revert to her old ways. She had to call on all her strength not to knock Jason upside his head. Nor did she want to mention the freshly implanted scratch running down the side of his face to his throat. No doubt a bitch.
Cartier Cartel Page 15
