Killing Time: The Realms Book 1.5 - (A Humorously Epic LitRPG Adventure)

by C. M. Carney

  You have earned 2,153 XP for slaying Seraphine.

  A stunned silence filled the inn as I looked around, mad eyes begging anyone to say something. Gaarm laughed, answering a question that had bugged me for some time. Despite their common connection to the Vex, it seemed he and Seraphine were not working together. I gave the brute a thumbs up.

  I turned back to Seraphine’s corpse and heard the scrape of a dozen chairs as most of the patrons in the Shining Unicorn Inn quickly exited. How long did I have before the constables showed up?

  I reached down and pulled the Secure Scroll from Seraphine’s apron and walked to the bar. Master Grimslee had his crossbow aimed at me, but did not fire. Perhaps he didn’t believe he could take me out after I went all nut job on his waitress. I looked from the scroll to Grimslee.

  You have been offered the Choice Quest: Meddle in the Gang War

  Seraphine is an assassin hired by the Vex to kill Master Grimslee, innkeeper and local mob boss for the Durnarian Syndicate. You have proof of this in the form of a Secure Scroll contract. Now you have a choice to make.

  A) You can warn Master Grimslee and earn the ire of both Seraphine and the Vex.

  Difficulty: Moderate. Reward: Unknown. XP: Unknown.

  B) You can keep quiet and let Seraphine do her work.

  Difficulty: Moderate. Reward: Unknown. XP: Unknown.

  C) You can turn one, or both, in to the proper authorities, assuming those proper authorities are not on the take. Who to trust, who to trust?

  Difficulty: Moderate. Reward: Unknown. XP: Unknown.

  Oooh, it’s like a Choose your Own Adventure book, but I can’t cheat and look ahead. I considered for a few moments and then tossed the scroll onto the bar top.

  “She was here to kill you. Password is Daffodil,” I said. His eyes went from me to the scroll and back to me as I walked past him and into the back room. I grabbed a fresh bottle of elvish brandy and returned to the common room. I poured two snifters full of the liquor and pushed one towards Grimslee. "You're gonna need it." I lifted my own snifter and admired the pale yellow liquid before inhaling and taking a sip. Grimslee stood beside me reading the scroll. His face went pale, and he looked at me. “How did you know?”

  “Her and I go way back,” I said and downed my drink. “You should thank me. That poison is a bitch.”

  “Thank you. I owe you a favor,” Grimslee said.

  “I’ll hold you to that,” I said, and poured another brandy. I held my snifter up in a toast. After a moment Grimslee did the same. The clink of glasses brought a prompt into my vision.

  You have been awarded 10,000 XP for completing the Choice Quest Meddle in the Gang War.

  You have saved Master Grimslee from the deadly assassin Seraphine.

  You have earned a Favor from Master Grimslee.

  You have earned the Ire of the Vex. The Vex have eyes everywhere and knowledge of your actions will soon get back to them. You will soon have a contract on your head.

  Well, I guess no bad deed goes unpunished. Soon I'd have a bounty on my head. I turned towards Gaarm and his buddies, wondering which one was the ‘eyes’ mentioned in the prompt. I could have killed them all, but I kinda liked the idea of having my own Wanted poster. Hopefully they'd get my likeness right. Then I remembered this whole timeline would never exist for them, and I got a little pouty. It felt good being notorious.

  I decided I needed a breather, so I sat next to Arno. The twitchy mage grinned at me and opened his mouth. “Not, now bud,” I said, cutting the pyromaniac off before he could speak. I’d leveled again, and I wanted to spend my last few minutes of this life shopping.

  You have reached Level 20 in Order Magic.

  You have reached Level 16 in Archery.

  You have reached Level 17 in Blunt Weapons.

  You have reached Level 8 in Stealth.

  You have reached Level 8 in Dodge.

  You have reached Level 14 in Light Armor.

  You have reached Level 23 in Analyze.

  You have reached Apprentice Tier in Order Magic. With that Tier boost, the skill has gained a new ability. You can now learn twice as many Order Magic spells as you could learn at Base Tier.

  Total Order Spells is equal to (2 + (your level in (Order Magic/5)) x 2.

  Current Order Spell Capacity = 12.

  “Sweet,” I said.

  The Agent walked into the inn and came to say hi.

  “Damn, you’re early,” I said, without even looking up. “I still have points to spend.” She tensed, and I felt the energy of imminent action pulse through her. I looked up and stared directly into her eyes. “Maybe it's for the best. I’ll have some extra time to plan.” Her eyes turned to slits as she tried to understand my cocky attitude.

  I stood and leaned towards her, very much invading her personal space. “This is the last time I play nice,” I said, and then I turned and walked towards the door.

  After a few paces I turned back. “You coming?”

  ☠☠☠☠☠

  8

  I was back in the inn with an empty mug and a happy grin. I tossed my card down, told the dealer I folded and leaned back in my chair. Seraphine brought me another mug of mead and even though, or perhaps because, I’d just gone batshit crazy on the assassin I felt generous and pushed my entire pile of coins at her. Then I stood.

  I was getting close to beating the Agent, I could feel it in my bones. There was only one more person I hadn’t spoken too yet, and I had an odd feeling he would be very helpful. I looked at the rogue in the corner. This dude was an enigma. I’d never once killed him and Analyze had failed every time. Maybe it was time to chat up the dude.

  I made my way through the crowd, counting down the minutes before the Agent appeared. I stopped in front of the rogue and tried Analyze just for the hell of it.

  Analyze has failed.

  “Eh, worth a try,” I muttered. “May I?” I asked indicating the empty chair. The rogue nodded, and I sat. “I don’t have time to waste, so I’ll get right to it. Who are you and what makes you so special?”

  The rogue grinned, stubbed out his cigarillo and leaned forward. “Took you long enough to come and say hi.”

  “What?” I said in genuine shock. Did this dude know I was in a time loop? Was he somehow responsible? I stood and old habits caused me to power up my hammer with Spirit energy before I knew what I had done.

  “Relax. I’m a friend and I have a proposal for you.”

  Reluctantly I powered down the hammer. I didn't trust the dude, but my murderous ways had given me a bit of an itchy trigger finger, and sometimes I hit before I thought. I was trying to change that. You know, trying to grow as a person.

  I used my Know Desires perk.

  Know Desires had failed.

  “Yeah, that won’t work either. Not unless I allow it. Though I have to say, nice job with your Analyze skill. Do you know how hard it is to level that skill? I took decades to get where you are. How long have you been working on it?”

  “Just a day,” I said with bravado.

  “Okay, then.” He said with a bemused grin and motioned to my seat. “Sit and I’ll allow you to Analyze me.”

  I eyeballed the guy a few moments before taking a seat. That was a new one. I had no idea that you could allow somebody full access with Analyze. Either the guy was crazy, stupid, or he knew he had nothing to fear from me. My heart beat in my chest for several seconds as I contemplated his words. It felt odd being on the defensive again. I’d spent so long as the aggressor with the upper hand, except against the Agent of course, that this new reality was unnerving. Maybe I should go back to mass murder.

  “Okay, I get you have no reason to trust me. Here’s an olive branch,” The rogue said. He closed his eyes and looked inward. Professional pride that I hadn’t ever been able to kill him mixed with my unease, and I considered smashing in his head with my hammer. But a little voice chirped up from deep inside me. Dude stop being a psycho. I grumbled, but did as the voice asked.
A moment later the rogue opened his eyes and smiled.

  “Try now. I’m an open book.”

  I used Analyze.

  Vonn Sennig: Level 37 - H: 465/S: 435/M: 434/SP: 767

  Race: Half Elf (Eldarian/Sea Elf) Specialty: Templar of the Source

  Vonn Sennig is a Templar of the Source, a religious knight by way of a rogue, whose mission is to recruit the NPC Lex to serve a higher power and a higher purpose.

  “Um, what?” I said, looking up at the shadow shrouded man in surprise. I had innumerable questions and not much time to get answers. By my count, the Agent would walk through the door at any moment.

  “I’m Vonn Sennig,” the rogue said, extending a hand towards me. “And I’m here to help.”

  “Are you in a time loop too?” I asked and immediately felt dumb. I’d just given super-secret info to a man that for all I know was playing me. Sure he let me Analyze him, but how did I know he hadn’t maxed out the Defense branch of the Analyze Perk Tree. That trick he’d just pulled sounded exactly like something one could do with False Report.

  “Is that what it is?” Vonn asked. “I knew something was off. I’ve been getting impressions of things, echoes, but I had no idea it was a time loop.”

  “Can you help me get out of it?”

  “Don’t think so. That’s not my purpose. But who knows, maybe my purpose will help you with yours.”

  “Are you always so cryptic?”

  “Lately, yes I have been.”

  For a moment I just stared at him. Seraphine stopped by and dropped a mug of mead in front of me and a snifter of elvish brandy. I looked down at my mug and up at Seraphine. “Can you bring me what he’s having?” She smiled and walked back to the bar.

  “You have questions,” Vonn said.

  “Ya think? How do you know things about me? What the hell is the Source? What is a Templar? What is a Specialty? How do you know who I am? Why am I your mission? And what the heck is a higher purpose?”

  “That’s a lot of questions. Do we have the time for me to answer them all?”

  I eyeballed him again and sent a quick glance to the door. This dude’s knowledge was creeping me out. I needed a second opinion. I cast Commune, and the world stopped as the mists rolled in. My quadrata pal Rubik floated up and stared.

  “Hey buddy, can I trust Vonn?”

  YES, came the immediate reply, and the cube floated away. Time began again. Vonn was looking around, a slight frown of confusion on his face.

  “Well that was weird,” the half elf muttered, shaking his head as if he were clearing cobwebs.

  “What was weird?” I asked, panic surging once again.

  “It was like a blip. One second you were here and then you weren’t and then, blip, you were back again.”

  “Okay, now I’m getting annoyed. Time to answer my questions.”

  “Yes, of course. Where to start? Well, I am a Templar of the Source, a sort of religious warrior. Though my skill set is less knight in shining armor than it is shifty rogue, but my dedication and faith are as strong as any paladin’s. Long ago I was called to the service of the Source and the Source has sent me here to help you.”

  “The Source? I’ve heard that term somewhere before. What is it?”

  “It is everything.” Vonn said and quickly held a hand up at my irritation. “But, I understand that is not very helpful. The Source is the truth of the Realms, the motive power behind all of reality. It has always been and always will be and is the source of all. It tries to guide all mortals towards a better existence.”

  “You’re talking about God,” I said. Great, he’s a religious wacko. Just what I need.

  “Yes, but not a god with a small g like the petty tyrants and power brokers currently worshipped on Korynn. The so-called Pantheon.”

  “Are you some kinda Jim Jones wanna be?”

  “I have no idea who that is, but to answer the question behind the question, no I am no cult leader who demands devotion. I am here to free your mind and draw it to the higher purpose of the Source.”

  “What purpose?”

  “To help all sentient beings across all the Realms find their true purpose.”

  “That sounds great, if vague and redundant. How does the Source plan to do that?”

  Vonn shrugged. “I only know my small part. The Source is far too vast for any mortal mind to fathom.”

  I held a hand to my head. This circular talk was hurting my brain. “Okay,” I said through closed eyes. “Did the Source do this to me? And if so why?”

  “I cannot say. I am not privy to the Source’s plan. But, I can help you.”

  “How?”

  Vonn’s help came in the form of training, lots and lots of training. We started with Dodge and Light Armor. Dodge training involved Vonn stabbing me while I tried to avoid his attack. If I did, my Dodge improved. If I didn’t, my Light Armor got a few ticks better. It was a very painful, yet effective method. After many stabby deaths I got pretty good at it.

  You have reached Level 16 in Dodge.

  You have reached Level 17 in Light Armor.

  We only had 15 minutes each training session, and I my Light Armor and Dodge skills continued to improve. That meant I was back to jumping off the bridge frequently. But that was okay since I kept my promise to the Agent about no longer playing nice. I used Order Bolt to kill her thralls over and over and hit her a bunch of times too, but she still resisted.

  ☠☠☠☠☠

  You have earned 68,535 XP for slaying the Agent’s Thrall (x45).

  You have reached Level 21 in Order Magic.

  “Man, is that it?” It was getting harder and harder to level these skills. Don’t get me wrong it made sense. I understood the Game Mechanics were designed for balance but it didn’t mean I wasn’t gonna whine about it. That’s when a thought occurred to me.

  “Yo Vonn, did the Source create the Game Mechanics?”

  “The Source is the Game Mechanics,” he replied flatly, and looked at me like an asshole college professor.

  We played some more, and I died some more. Vonn gave me tips on how to up my Stealth skill a ton by playing hide and seek with the other inn-mates. I got pretty good at it too and used it to get some sweet Critical Hits on Gaarm. Those made me smile like a nerdy girl asked to the prom by the school hunk. I leveled Blunt Weapons a few times since that was my Stealth attack of choice. I even upped Light Armor by a level when my Stealth attempts failed.

  You have earned 79,360 XP for slaying Gaarm (x40)

  You have reached Level 18 in Blunt Weapons.

  You have reached Level 16 in Stealth.

  You have reached Level 18 in Light Armor.

  I saw that Vonn was a master at Pickpocket as well and made him teach me. Once again Gaarm was my focus, but Seraphine had some snazzy stuff too, so I robbed her plenty. Not that I got to keep it when I came back. Remember that loot theory? Yeah it proved to be true, cuz I didn’t get to keep anything in my next life. My Pickpocket training didn’t work out so well at first and I got caught a lot which forced me to go all murdery again and again.

  You have learned the skill PICKPOCKET

  Level: 1 - Tier: Base - Skill Type: Active

  You have shown that you have deft fingers and a love for other people’s belongings. This ability will allow you to pilfer belongings from innocent bystanders without being caught. Base Pickpocket success percentage is determined by starting Dexterity +1% per Pickpocket Level. High Analyze and Perception skills will negate this ability.

  You have earned 19,840 XP for slaying Gaarm (x10)

  You have earned 2,310 XP for slaying the Dealer (x5)

  You have earned 6,325 XP for slaying Mustachio (x5)

  You have earned 5,755 XP for slaying Aegyptian Goon (x5)

  You have earned 5,725 XP for slaying Gaarm’s Goon(s) (x10)

  You have earned 7,338 XP for slaying Arno the Fire Mage (x5).

  You have earned 4,615 XP for slaying a Priest of Ferrancia (x5)

&nb
sp; You have earned 21,530 XP for slaying Seraphine. (X10)

  You have earned 24,550 XP for slaying Master Grimslee (x10)

  All the grinding earned me another level, and bumps in my skills.

  You have reached Level 15.

  You have 5 unused Attribute Points.

  You have 8 unused Perk Point. (1 New and 7 Previously Earned)

  You have reached Level 5 in Life Magic.

  You have reached Level 6 in Fire Magic.

  You have reached Level 19 in Blunt Weapons.

  You have reached Level 18 in Stealth.

  You have reached Level 17 in Dodge.

  You have reached Level 19 in Light Armor.

  You have reached Level 25 in Analyze.

  You have reached Level 6 in Pickpocket

  I only had 5 Attribute Points, but they went into Constitution with all the hesitation of a nerd getting a pic with a cosplay chick at Comic-Con.

  I was going to need more Stamina very soon.

  Lex - Level 15

  Ordonian

  Deity: Cerrunos

  Experience: 767,000

  Next Level: 123,000

  Stats

  Health: 180

  Stamina: 195

  Mana: 221

  Spirit: 177