A Long Way to Love: A Historical Western Romance Book

by Lorelei Brogan

  Elise wanted to insist on taking turns watching, but she wasn’t sure if Ronan would let her. She reminded herself to bring it up a little later. She had originally come to the edge of the tiny clearing they had found to look for more wood. They had gone off the road a bit, just to be sheltered by one wall of trees. There were plenty of things to burn for the fire, and they were sort of blocked from the main road.

  Elise had paused when she saw the sunset.

  “It’s pretty nice, isn’t it?” Ronan’s voice startled her. He was standing almost right behind her.

  “Sunset was his favorite,” Elise said softly before she could stop herself.

  “What?”

  “My father. He loved the sunset. He used to say that the sunset was more beautiful than the sunrise. He said that God was an artist, and that was his painting.”

  “I think I vaguely remember that.” Ronan sounded like he was having similar feelings as she was when thinking about her father.

  Elise pushed down the stab of pain in her heart. Her father would have loved to make this trip together.

  “One time, Carol, I don’t know if you remember her, but she heard my father say that. They were arguing for hours about which was better, the sunset or the sunrise. My father won.”

  “I don’t doubt it.” Ronan chuckled. “He was kind, but he also had a way of convincing people of what he needed to.”

  “Yes, he did.” Elise felt a smile touch her lips. For a second, she was happy that Ronan knew her father. For the first time, she could speak with someone who shared the same relationship with him that she did.

  But that feeling slipped away almost as soon as it had come.

  “We should get something made for dinner.” Elise stepped around Ronan and went back to the campsite.

  “You want to cook dinner?” Ronan asked.

  “Why not? I mean … unless you want to?”

  Ronan shrugged. “I just remember how some of the things you cooked when you were younger turned out.” Ronan chuckled, and Elise knew that her annoyance was showing.

  “I cook just fine now, thank you.”

  “You do, you do.” Ronan didn’t sound convinced, but he kept his amused grin in place as Elise went about pulling ingredients from the wagon and getting things cooking.

  The fact was that she was a terrible cook, but she wanted to make something delicious to prove to Ronan that she could do it. She didn’t know why she cared. After all, why should she care what Ronan thought, but in a strange way, she did.

  ***

  Elise stared up at the roof of the covered wagon. She had made dinner that was passable and even earned a little compliment from Ronan. Now she was lying in the bed of the wagon. It felt foreign and uncomfortable to have all the supplies stacked up around her. The soft white cover of the wagon was still visible even in the dark. Moonlight seeped through it, giving her some comfort.

  But every time she heard a twig snap or thought she heard something in the woods, she would tense. She didn’t know what was out there, but she felt afraid of it. She kept thinking about what would happen if Indians came across them or if bandits or a gang, or thieves found them, and they were sleeping and vulnerable.

  But then she would remember that Ronan was outside of the wagon keeping watch. He had a rifle beside him, and he assured her he knew how to use it.

  She wondered what he would get out of this trip. He seemed to think that it was paying back her father, but was that the only reason he was doing it? It seemed like he didn’t care about her or her father. That was why he took so long to come back, wasn’t it?

  Elise took a deep breath and then forced her eyes to close. She needed to get some rest. It was already late, and the next day, they would be meeting up with the wagon train. She wondered if traveling with the wagon train would be as scary as the stories she had heard. If it was, she was suddenly very happy she wasn’t doing it alone. She only wished that someone other than Ronan was the person she depended on to keep her company.

  ***

  The next day of travel was very similar to the first. They packed up everything they’d taken out the night before in the morning before the sun rose. Then they sat in the front of the wagon and started on their journey again.

  Elise noticed that Ronan looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he kept yawning.

  “Did you sleep at all last night?” Elise asked.

  “Some. I don’t need much sleep.”

  “You look like you need sleep. You can rest in the wagon while I take care of the horses.”

  “What?” Ronan turned to her, his eyes slightly wide and a shocked look on his chiseled face.

  “You shouldn’t be in charge of everything, especially when you are so exhausted.” Elise shrugged, holding out her hands for the reins.

  “I can’t let you drive all alone. What if something happens? I’d never be able to rest.” Ronan was clearly trying to stay strong and not show any weakness, but Elise knew exhaustion when she saw it. It was something she had experienced many times while caring for her father.

  “I was planning on making this trip all on my own. Besides, it won’t be the first time I have driven a wagon, and the stretch between here and San Antonio is flat and even. If anything were to happen, I’m sure you would wake up.”

  Elise found herself amused at the look in Ronan’s eyes. He clearly didn’t want to rest at her expense, but it was clear that he was exhausted.

  “Okay. I’ll rest. But if anything happens, you will wake me up right away, won’t you?”

  Elise couldn’t hold back the slight grin tugging at her lips as Ronan handed over the reins and then climbed through the makeshift doorway into the covered wagon. She heard him moving things about and arranging himself in the small space left between the stuff in the wagon.

  It was a cramped space, but she knew that when you were tired enough, you could rest anywhere.

  Elise enjoyed the feeling of the reins in her hands. They were smooth and warm and gave her a sense of control. There wasn’t much to do with the reins. The road really was straight and rather uneventful. But she made herself pay attention, holding the reins and pulling them left or right to keep the horses on track.

  At first, Elise enjoyed the silence that allowed her to settle into a state of relaxation, but slowly it began to wear on her. But no matter how much she wanted to give the reins back to Ronan, she wasn’t about to wake him up. It became a game, seeing how long she could manage the horses and keep him from waking up. She could already imagine his face when he realized that he’d been sleeping for over two hours.

  As she drove the horses, she let herself go back to a time when things weren’t so tense between her and Ronan.

  Elise stared at the boy who had become a part of her life. He had been there for almost four months, and she had gotten used to having him around.

  He was sitting on the pasture fence, staring off into the evening sky. Elise glanced back at the kitchen. She had a pot of potatoes boiling there, but they wouldn’t be done for a while.

  She walked over to the pasture fence and climbed up beside him. They were sitting so close that their hands were almost touching.

  “What are you thinking about?” Elise asked.

  Ronan seemed to notice her for the first time.

  He shrugged. “Just thinking.”

  “What about?” Elise looked at him again. It was strange to see her father’s clothes on someone else. Even though Ronan was big for a sixteen-year-old boy, the clothes were still too big on him, slack in most areas, making it look like he was older than he was.

  “Just stuff. Do you ever think about your ma?” Ronan’s eyes were little balls of fire, full of curiosity.

  “Yeah, I do.” Elise didn’t want to talk about her mother. She hated thinking about her, and she never mentioned that she thought about it often to her father. For some reason, it was always easier to talk with Ronan. She had never heard him repeat anything she said, and that
made her feel like all her secrets were safe with him.

  “I think about my parents too. Your pa loves you. He would never leave you at an orphanage.”

  “No, he wouldn’t. He would never leave you at one either.” Elise gave him a hopeful smile, but whatever was bothering Ronan was still on his face.

  “You know, I wish I had a pa like yours.”

  “You can share mine. He likes you, you know.”

  “I don’t know. He likes everyone, doesn’t he?”

  “Maybe, but I think he likes you a little extra special.” Elise shoved down the pang of jealousy in her heart. She knew that her father loved her just as much as he did Ronan. But she also knew that he had always dreamed of having a son and a daughter. Sometimes she felt like Ronan might replace her. But then she saw how her father cared for her and was reassured yet again.

  “I am glad I found your barn when I did that night.” Ronan grinned. “I guess God kind of led me here.”

  Elise smiled back. “I’m glad you found it too. God knew you needed a family. You’re not going to go back to where you were before, are you?” She didn’t understand why Ronan hadn’t come sooner. It certainly didn’t look like wherever he was before liked him very much by the clothes they had given him.

  “I used to live in an orphanage.”

  “Oh.” Elise had heard about orphanages. The children at school talked about them. Were you happy there?”

  “No. I always wanted a family, but no one wanted me. I guess that was why I left. I got tired of everything that I had to put up with there.”

  “You have a family here.” Elise smiled over at him.

  “Yes. Yes, I do.”

  Elise wondered what had changed so much for Ronan that he had decided to leave. She wondered if she would ever find out.

  Chapter 10

  Ronan woke up to the soft rocking of the wagon. The first thing he noticed was the sun streaming through the top. It was no longer early in the morning. In fact, he wasn’t sure what time it was.

  He took a minute to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He hadn’t meant to rest long. He told himself he would only rest for a half-hour, maybe an hour, if he were really tired. But it seemed his body had other ideas.

  When he ducked out of the wagon cover and took his seat beside Elise, he realized it was much, much later than he originally thought.

  “How- how long did I sleep?” he asked with wonder.

  “I would say four or five hours. It’s almost time for lunch.” Elise looked amused. Her eyes were twinkling with unspoken mischief.

  “That can’t be right.” Ronan ran a hand through his hair. Surely that wasn’t right. Could it be possible that he had slept that long? How hadn’t he noticed?

  “You’ve been driving this whole time?” Ronan felt amazement and wonder sweep through him. He had expected Elise to ask for help after an hour maximum, but here she was driving the horses like an expert after four or five hours as she put it.

  “No. I got tired and let them drive themselves for a while.” Elise shrugged, and Ronan shook his head. At least she’d retained her humor through everything she’d been through.

  “I’m sorry, I never meant to sleep that long.”

  “It’s fine. I really didn’t mind. Will we be to San Antonio soon?” Elise looked eager.

  “Soon, I think. I think it’s only a few hours away if you are right about the time I slept.” Ronan was still semi unbelieving when it came to how long he had rested.

  “I’ll take over for a while, you know, in case you want a break.” Ronan reached for the reins. He expected Elise to protest and tell him that she could handle it. But instead, she relinquished the reins easily, and for a moment, her mask slipped, and he saw the exhaustion in her eyes.

  She was good at hiding what she was really thinking and feeling from him and those around her, but he still managed to see little glimpses of those feelings.

  “I really didn’t mean to leave you driving all alone for so long.”

  “Don’t worry. You really did need the rest. I slept well last night.” Elise shrugged again, but Ronan didn’t believe her. He’d heard her tossing and turning in the wagon as he sat outside and briefly dozed off. Neither of them had gotten much sleep the night before, though it appeared that Elise was handling it much better than he was.

  “Thank you.” Ronan let the silence stretch between them as he steered the horses. He was going to make sure that Elise got some good rest that night. It was only fair. They would find a hotel and sleep in actual beds and rooms for the night, and then the next day would come the truly long stretch of their journey.

  ***

  Ronan was a bit off with his estimate of how long it would take to get to San Antonio. It actually was only about an hour and a half until they were pulling into the outskirts of town. The city was as big as he remembered it. The buildings seemed to be twice as big as the ones back home.

  There was a huge hotel that Ronan had stayed at before, and that was where he led the wagon. It was about time they ate a decent meal. He didn’t have anything against Elise or her attempt at cooking, but he was ready to have something from the hotel diner. His mouth was watering, even thinking about it.

  “Should I take our things in while you take care of the horses?” Elise’s voice broke his thoughts.

  “Yes. You can take your things in. I don’t have much.”

  “Will the wagon be safe for the night?”

  “Yes. I’ll make sure it’s somewhere safe.” Ronan forced a smile to reassure her. He hated that she was so worried about everything. He was supposed to be making this trip easier on her, yet it seemed that she was still stressed out about all the details, and he had made her manage the horses for half the day.

  “All right. Thank you.” Elise seemed to have at least softened to the idea of him coming along. Though he still saw that mistrust and anger in her eyes when she looked at him. He wasn’t sure if those were the only emotions she had toward him. There were so many in that deep gaze of hers. But at least she seemed halfway agreeable toward him, and they were civil with one another.

  Ronan led the horses around the back of the hotel. He spoke with the people who were there and made arrangements for the night. They showed him where to park the wagon. Then he went into the diner and found Elise.

  She was sitting at one of the tables in the dining area. Her satchel was sitting on the floor beside her. She looked so forlorn and alone that a pang of pity and recognition went through Ronan.

  He remembered what it felt like to be alone in the world and have no one. He knew that Elise wasn’t used to being that person. Even though she wasn’t used to having many people in her life, she was used to having her father, which was something that Ronan knew how it was to lose. When he’d left the Herrins, he had felt like his life was over. He could see the devastating sadness etched into her face. When she was alone, he could see it so much clearer.

  It was like she was grappling with feelings that she didn’t know how to deal with. He wanted to tell her it would be all right and that he would be there for her. But he didn’t know if either of those things were true, and he also didn’t know if she would want him to try and comfort her in the first place.

  He shook his head and approached her, slipping into the seat opposite her.

  “I am going to be sleeping in the wagon, so you won’t have to worry about it.” Ronan grinned as he scooted his chair up to the table.