Meg grinned. “I would like to hear the long version if you have time, which there is plenty of when we are washing dishes. Things are pretty boring for me around here. I have a baby at home, and my mother takes care of him while I work. My husband works at the blacksmith shop. We’ve lived here for four years now.”
“I see; it’s nice to meet you. I am glad that I’ve found a friend here already.” Elise’s words rushed out before she could stop them. She wasn’t sure why, but it felt natural to speak with Meg like they’d known each other for a long time.
“So, what about the man who brought you here? Is he your husband?”
Elise felt herself blushing as soon as Meg asked the question.
“No, he’s a friend of my father’s.”
“You like him, though, don’t you?” Meg’s eyes were full of knowing mischief.
“I don’t know. I mean, I do like him. I suppose over the time of our travels I’ve come to care for him. But is that strange? I am afraid that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. The only reason he is taking me to California is that he thinks he owes my father.”
“I see. Well, from where I am standing, the way he was looking at you tells me that he is most certainly having the same feelings for you. When my husband looked at me that way, I knew that he was right for me.”
“I don’t know. What if I tell him how I feel, and he doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t even know why I am talking to you about this. I barely know you.” Elise let out a nervous giggle. She didn’t know Meg, and Meg probably thought her worries were silly. But if Meg did think they were silly, she didn’t say so.
“Sometimes it is easier to talk to a stranger rather than someone you know. I think you should tell him how you feel and then see how he reacts. If he reacts badly, then at least you know. Besides, if he doesn’t feel that way about you, you’ll be in California before you know it, and it won’t be as bad.”
Elise forced a smile. The idea of Ronan rejecting her hurt, and she hadn’t even told him how she felt yet.
“I’ll think about it. Thank you for listening, though.”
Meg nodded. “Anytime you want to talk, I’ll be here.”
Elise smiled. It felt good to have a friend, to know there was someone she could talk to.
“It looks like we have more customers. Do you remember how to greet them, or do you want me to do it?”
“I remember. I’ll do it.”
Meg nodded and went back to doing the dishes.
Elise walked out to the dining area nervously. The sooner she learned all the parts of the job, the better. She needed to be good at this job so they could earn enough to get back to their journey. She wondered how long that would take.
***
Elise stood outside the diner. It was getting a bit chilly, even though they were still in Texas. Elise decided she would never know how the weather worked in Texas. It felt like sometimes it was constantly hot, and then other times the cold days would come out of nowhere.
“How was your day?” a deep voice sounded behind her.
Elise turned to find Ronan walking up to her. He looked as exhausted as she felt.
“Actually, pretty good. I met a woman named Meg. She was very kind and helpful. What about you? Did you have a good time at the wood mill?”
“It was okay, I guess.” Ronan shrugged. “I prefer finding criminals to lock up.”
Elise felt a laugh bubbling up in her chest. “Maybe you can continue to do that after you drop me off in California.” Elise felt a rush of sadness at the mention of herself staying in California.
“Maybe,” Ronan said, but he didn’t sound enthusiastic.
“The bad thing is that we have to walk back. My legs and feet hurt so bad right now.” Elise nearly groaned out loud. She was going to be so happy when she got home and was able to rest.
“I can carry you if you want.” Ronan gave a half-grin, and Elise wondered if he meant it a little or if it was all a joke.
“I’m sure I’ll survive.”
Ronan chuckled. “Come on; it’s not that far a walk, probably half an hour. Do you think you’ll be fine? With the job, I mean. If you’re not, we can try to figure something else out.”
“No, I think it will be fine. I did enjoy Meg. She was kind and helped me learn my way around everything. I think that it will be fun to stick around for a little while. You hated the job at the wood mill, didn’t you?”
Elise had been able to see it on his face from the moment he walked up.
“Yeah, I did hate it just a little. I guess I have been on the road so much. Anything else feels strange to me. But one day, maybe I will be ready to settle down. I just haven’t decided yet.”
Elise nodded. “You know, the strange thing is that when I think about you, I imagine you out there hunting bad people and putting them in jail. Maybe that is just what you were meant to do.”
“Maybe.” Ronan smiled as if he remembered a distant memory. “You know, I wonder what your father would have thought of my job.”
“He would have liked it. He would have also liked getting to know you like this.” Elise felt sadness tug at her heart. She wished that Ronan and her father would have gotten to know each other again.
Ronan was the one dream that her father hadn’t given up on, even during his last-minute alive.
“What do you mean, like this? Am I that different?”
“Yes.” Elise looked up at him shyly. “I don’t know how to describe it, but you are more confident. You know what you are doing and where you are going. I think that is one of the only things my father ever wanted for you. He wanted you to have a good life and find your footing. I think he knew a lot of people who never found that and who he couldn’t help.”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t show him what I became. I wish I’d gotten the chance.” Ronan looked remorseful.
Elise could tell that he felt guilty. She knew that if she were in his position, she would feel guilty too. She felt bad that he would never be able to resolve those things with her father.
“Can I ask you something?” Elise bit her lower lip. She was thinking about what Meg said and about the way that Ronan supposedly looked at her. Could she gather the nerve to tell him what she was thinking about?
“Of course,” Ronan’s eyes were pools of emotion. They were so deep she had no chance of deciphering how he was feeling.
“What made you leave? When we were young, why did you leave all of a sudden?”
Ronan took a deep breath, and Elise thought he wasn’t going to answer, but then he started talking. “The day before I left, I overheard your father talking with a friend of his in town. He was trying to get me a higher-paying job. The man said that I would never amount to anything. He said that I was a thief and an orphan and that I would just tarnish your father’s name in the end. He said your father was a fool to trust me on his ranch.”
“I’m so sorry. That man should never have said that.”
“I know, but he did. I guess that it scared me. I felt like if I stayed, I would just prove him right, and instead of paying your father back for everything he did for me, I would be hurting his name and his reputation.”
“You should have talked to us.”
“I know. I should have, but I was young, and I didn’t really know better. I’m sorry.”
Elise shook her head. “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m glad that you told me. My father always wondered why you left. He tried to figure it out so many times.”
“I never meant to hurt your father. I thought it would be better if I left without telling either of you because I knew that if I told you, you would convince me to stay.”
“We really would have.” Elise felt sorry she hadn’t figured it out. She wished that somehow, things could have been different back then. But if it had been different, she wouldn’t have become close the way she had with Ronan. Or maybe she would have; the fact was, there was no way to tell now.
“Can I ask you something
else?”
“Yes.” Ronan looked cautious as if he didn’t know what to expect.
“I–” Elise started to say the words, but they got stuck in her throat. “Never mind.”
“What did you want to ask?” Ronan persisted.
“Just how long you think it will take us to gather the money to keep going,” Elise nearly mumbled the words. She hated it that she’d lost her bravery so quickly.
“I don’t know. Maybe a couple of months.” Ronan watched her, and Elise could tell that he knew her question was not the original one intended. He looked as if he were going to question her further, but she was relieved to see they’d arrived back at the ranch. She almost wished they had all taken horses that morning. It would have been much easier to ride home rather than walk. She made a mental note to mention it to Ronan the next day. But then again, maybe it wasn’t necessary.
Hopefully, the second day of work would be easier.
Chapter 33
Ronan’s eyes followed Elise as she disappeared into the kitchen. His mind was a mess after their walk home together. He knew that she had wanted to ask him something different. At the last moment, she had changed her words. He couldn’t stop thinking about what she had meant to say.
“I know that I said I would stay out of it, but you need to tell that woman how you feel about her.” Jorge’s words made him jump slightly. He’d been so distracted staring after Elise that he hadn’t even heard Jorge walk up behind him.
“I told you …”
“I know, I know, that you don’t have feelings for her. But it is very clear that you do.”
“Are you sure about that?” Ronan lifted his eyebrows.
“I have never been more sure of anything before in my life. I am happy for you after what happened with Veronica.”
“Thank you. I guess I am worried about telling her how I feel because I don’t think she sees me that way. We were friends when we were children. I think she probably will always see me as that person, and what is more, I think she will always see me as the person who abandoned her without even saying goodbye.”
“You don’t know that.” Jorge shook his head. “You may think that, but you have no idea how she sees you. Believe me, from the outside it looks like the two of you are in love. Maybe she is ready to see you differently now, and you just have to give her a chance to do so.”
“Maybe,” Ronan wasn’t convinced, and he was worried about other things than Elise simply accepting him or not. Even if she accepted him, he had little to offer her. He didn’t have a home, a ranch, or anything else. He had very little money. Even if they started a homestead, they would be starting from nothing.
How could he support Elise or give her the things she deserved in life? She deserved so much better, and maybe the thing that Ronan was the most afraid of was her realizing that and telling him as much.
“I know that you like her, Ronan. I also don’t think she is anything like Veronica. You should tell her how you feel before it is too late, and she finds someone who will tell her.” Jorge gave him another meaningful stare before walking down the hall and leaving Ronan leaning up against the door frame. Jorge was right. This was a good opportunity to tell Elise exactly how he felt. The question was, how would he get up enough courage to do so?
He let his mind wander back to Veronica, the woman who had convinced him he wanted nothing to do with marriage or love ever again.
Ronan walked with a skip in his step. The part at the end of his job was here. He loved this part. The part where he went home to Veronica. It wasn’t his home, but it would be one day. She had told him early on that she wanted to marry him, and he couldn’t wait until he was ready for that.
Ronan dismounted from his horse. He was surprised to see a strange horse tied to the hitching post out front. Maybe Veronica had a visitor. It was almost time for supper after all.
He looked down at the flowers he’d brought for her. She always said that she loved flowers, that she didn’t want him showing up empty-handed, that it was bad form. Ronan would be embarrassed to tell someone how much he liked giving Veronica things. He liked to see her eyes light up and the way she grinned when she was happy.
When he knocked on the door, he was surprised to hear heavy steps on the other side. A second later, a man opened the door. He was tall and quite handsome, around Ronan’s age.
Ronan looked at him with a gaping mouth. Who was this man, and what was he doing in Veronica’s house? The man seemed just as surprised to see him there, standing on the porch steps.
“Who is it?” Veronica called from inside the cabin.
“Veronica? What is going on?” Ronan called out. He was back in town two days earlier than he had originally planned. He had expected a lot of things from returning early, but finding some other man visiting Veronica was not one of them.
He tried to calm himself down. Maybe there was a logical explanation for this situation. He certainly hoped there was one because he was in no mood for what this looked like.
Veronica appeared behind the man a few minutes later.
“Ronan, what are you doing here? You aren’t supposed to be back yet!” Her face was a mixture of fear and shock.
“I- I’m here to see you. You know, like we do every single time I finish a job?”
“I- we should talk.” Veronica walked past the man and closed the door behind her.
Ronan was fairly certain that the other man was feeling some of the same things as he was. He certainly didn’t look happy.
“What is going on? Who is that man, and what is he doing in your house?”
“He’s … someone I’m seeing.”
“What do you mean?”
“It doesn’t mean anything, I just … he wanted to come over, and I invited him to a meal.”
“We are done, Veronica.”
“What?” her eyes widened in surprise. “You can’t just end things like this. It was a mistake. I know now it was a terrible idea. I should have made it clear, but one thing happened after another, and I couldn’t stop it.”
“Nonsense. We are over, Veronica. I will not repeat myself.”
Ronan turned and walked away.
Ronan shook himself from the unpleasant memory. He had asked around town with open eyes after that incident. He had found out a lot of things about Veronica that had astonished him. She’d been adamant that she hadn’t done anything wrong. But after some careful questioning, Ronan found out that she was fooling around with several men, trying to find her best option. She wasn’t loyal to him and probably never had been. She was simply trying to find out who would give her more and set her up for a more comfortable life.
Ronan had felt such a fool when he found out that he’d been providing her with money for different things when she had said she was running low. It felt terrible to be treated like that. He had promised he would never fall in love again or allow himself to be blind to things that were going on simply because of his feelings for a woman.
But he had allowed himself to feel that way toward Elise. He was certain that if she asked him for anything, he would give it to her no questions asked. He would pay for anything she wanted, work so that she could have a comfortable life, anything she wanted. But she had never asked him for anything.
A Long Way to Love: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 24
