Fallen Ink

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “I will. Thanks, Adrienne. Truly.”

  She hung up quickly and ran to the kitchen to turn off the oven. Then she threw the butter back into the fridge and stuffed her feet into her boots and grabbed her keys. She’d probably forgotten a hundred things, but right then, all she could think about was the fact that Daisy was sick, and Violet was scared.

  It didn’t matter that Mace had tried to quietly push her out of his daughter’s life right then. All that mattered was the fact that a little girl was ill, and someone needed to take her to the doctor. The fact that Violet had called her sister, parents, and Mace and then immediately called her warmed her—even if it shouldn’t. She had been an honorary Knight for as long as she had been friends with Mace. She wasn’t as close to his sisters as she was to him, obviously, but she was still friends with both of them. The fact that Violet had called her meant that she trusted Adrienne to help. She trusted her with Daisy’s welfare. And it hurt to think that perhaps Mace didn’t.

  Growling, she ignored those thoughts since they weren’t helping anybody, and quickly got into her car. Hopefully, Violet had the name and address of where she was going, because she hadn’t really thought that far ahead, other than getting to Daisy’s side immediately.

  She had never been more grateful for how close she lived to Mace until that moment. It only took her a few minutes to get to his house, and she parked right behind Violet’s car. She practically flew from her own vehicle, not leaving the engine running though she thought about it, and banged on the front door. She had a key, but it honestly hadn’t crossed her mind to use it.

  Violet opened the door, her eyes covered with her hands and the lights down low. She was pale, pasty, and looked like death warmed over. Adrienne felt for the woman, and if it weren’t for the fact that Daisy had a fever and was sick, too, she might have wanted to stay and care for Violet, as well. And who knew, maybe she would come back and do just that. But for now, she really needed to see to the little girl.

  “You’re here. Daisy is on the couch all wrapped up and ready to go. I have her bag and the address written down for you. I did everything I could, but I really need to go lay down. I’m so sorry I’m out of commission. It came out of nowhere, and I can’t get ahold of Mace.”

  Adrienne brushed past the other woman and took her arm. “Go sit down in an armchair or just lay down. Put your feet up and close your eyes. Thank you for getting everything ready. I’ll take care of Daisy. You can trust me.”

  Violet lowered her hand and frowned. “Of course, I can trust you. I wouldn’t trust my niece with just anyone.”

  That statement hurt her more than it probably should have since the other woman probably had no idea what had happened between Adrienne and Mace the day before.

  “Thank you.”

  Adrienne helped the other woman into the chair then quickly went to Daisy’s side. The little girl was sleeping with her hands under her face on the pillow. But Adrienne could see the red in her cheeks and the perspiration on her brow. Then Daisy whimpered, and Adrienne placed her cool hand on the little girl’s too-hot cheek.

  “Aunt Addi,” Daisy whispered. “I want Daddy.”

  Adrienne’s heart broke, and she reached down and gathered the little girl up her arms, careful to grab everything else in her right hand. Then she remembered that she didn’t have a car seat and set the little girl back down but hugged her. She really wasn’t firing on all cylinders right then because she was freaking out over how warm Mace’s daughter felt.

  “We are going to make you all better, okay? Just hang in there for a minute and let me get a few things, and then I’ll take you where they’re going to make you better.”

  “I want Daddy.”

  “I know, baby doll. We will get Daddy, too. We need to get you better first, and then Daddy can come, and you’ll be all better.” She hoped to hell she wasn’t lying.

  “Violet? Do you have car seat or booster or whatever in your car?”

  The other woman nodded and tried to get out of the chair, but Adrienne waved her off. “Where are your keys? Should I just take your car?”

  “It’ll take you forever to figure out how to take out the seat and put it in yours. I hate the damn thing. Just take my car.”

  “Got it.” That meant she had to move her car out to the street first because she had parked behind Violet. Everything was getting a little too complicated, but she didn’t care. She went through things one by one. First, she moved her car to the street. Then, she picked up Daisy’s bag, threw it over her shoulder, put the address to the doctor’s office in her phone so she could have her GPS, and gathered Daisy into her arms. The little girl was still sleeping, but she snuggled into Adrienne’s hold immediately.

  “Thank you,” Violet moaned, and Adrienne nodded at the other woman before leaving her alone in the house, her phone near her in case of another emergency. She hated leaving her there in pain, but there was nothing she could do for Violet at the moment.

  Thankfully, Daisy helped Adrienne snap her into the booster seat. She was really behind the times on things like this and would have to get better at it at least for her niece. She wasn’t really sure how much of Daisy she would see in the future. Swallowing that hurt, she cupped the little girl’s cheek because the coolness of her skin seemed to help, then shut the door and ran around the car to the front seat. Violet had a similar vehicle to Thea, so at least there wasn’t a huge learning curve.

  She quickly hit go on the GPS and listened to the British man speaking to her in calming tones as he directed her to the doctor’s office. Daisy was quiet in the backseat, but Adrienne pulled down the little reflective part of the car’s upper dash that she had never used herself so she could see what was going on back there.

  It took twenty excruciating minutes to get to the doctor’s, and by the end of it, Daisy was crying, and Adrienne’s nerves were beyond frayed. She was thinking of crying herself, but held back only because someone needed to be strong in this situation. She gathered up her things and carried Daisy into the office, grateful that the receptionist there stood up immediately.

  “Daisy Knight?”

  Adrienne had almost forgotten that she had Mace’s last name—the one thing Jeaniene had given Mace at the time. She hoped to hell that it was okay HIPAA-wise or whatever legal things needed to be followed that she was the one here with Daisy, but there wasn’t another choice at the moment.

  “Yes, I’m her father’s girlfriend.” A lie, but she thought it was better than saying friend.

  “We know, Ms. Montgomery. Ms. Knight just called and told us you would be bringing her in. As it happens, Mr. Knight already put you on her family list so you can come back with us.”

  Stunned, she nonetheless followed the other woman to the patient room and stood back as everyone did their thing. Her heart pounded, and she pulled out her phone, then remembered that she probably shouldn’t be using it back there.

  “I need to try to get ahold of her dad again. Can I use my phone?”

  The nurse in the room nodded and pointed at the door. “There’s a waiting room right next door where you can use it.”

  Adrienne really didn’t want to leave Daisy by herself, but she also needed to get ahold of Mace.

  Her indecisiveness must’ve shown on her face because the nurse smiled softly. “We will take good care of Daisy. You’ll be able to hear us with the door open. Okay?”

  “Okay. Sorry.”

  She went into the waiting room and called Mace. It went straight to voicemail, something so unlike him that it actually started to make her worry. But before she could figure out what she was going to do next, a deep voice filled the air, and her shoulders relaxed even as her belly clenched.

  “Lazy Daisy,” Mace rumbled from the next room, and tears once again stung the backs of Adrienne’s eyes. Was it because of the fact that he was such a caring father, or that hearing his voice reminded her that he’d pushed her away.

  It wouldn’t matter, though. Not
now. She’d made sure Daisy was okay, and now that Mace was there, she figured she would be. She’d ask Violet what happened or even Mace when she saw him the next day at work. There was no use staying there now when her mind and heart weren’t ready to see him, weren’t ready for him to meet her gaze and speak to her. She should be stronger than this, but she knew she wasn’t. Not yet. She needed a few more moments to reconstruct her shields so she became the strong woman she had always thought she was.

  She was just walking out the door, careful not to look to the right when Mace’s voice hit her again.

  “Addi.”

  She froze but didn’t look back.

  “Addi.” He paused. “Thank you. Just…thank you. I dropped my phone on the way to the lawyer today and it shattered. So I’ve been out of touch all day and going crazy. When I went home and found Violet like she was, she told me what was going on. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this. But thank you for helping. Just…thank you.”

  She swallowed hard but didn’t turn back. She wasn’t sure if she could.

  “No problem, Mace. It was for Daisy. Of course, I helped.”

  She hadn’t meant to sound so passive-aggressive, and she didn’t like herself that way. As it was, she could practically feel Mace flinch from her words.

  Knowing that she needed to face him or she never would, she turned. He was just as sexy as ever, all rumpled and broody, but he’d shaved his beard, making her take a step back.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like that,” she said quickly. “You shaved.”

  His mouth quirked up into a semblance of a smile. “I shaved.” No explanation, but she wasn’t sure she was owed one. How had things gotten so weird, so quickly? “And you don’t have to apologize. Not for anything.” He let out a breath. “The doctor thinks it’s an ear infection and said Daisy should be fine soon. They’re just going to keep her for a bit to get the fever down. But, Addi? I’m never going to be able to repay you for taking care of her. I owe you.”

  She gave him a small smile, knowing it didn’t reach her eyes, but she couldn’t force it. “I’m glad she’ll be okay. And you don’t owe me a thing. That’s what friends are for.”

  That’s what you do for those you love. But she didn’t say that. Instead, she waved awkwardly and turned on her heel, leaving him standing clean-shaven in the hallway, holding her heart as if he didn’t know what to do with it. It was okay, she didn’t know what to do with it either.

  And she was afraid that after today, she might not ever figure it out.

  Chapter 16

  There were many times in a man’s life when he realized he was an idiot. Mace had been forced to realize that those times were more numerous than he’d originally thought thanks to how he’d reacted three days ago.

  Three days ago, he’d broken his best friend’s heart.

  Three days ago, he’d done a fine job of breaking his heart, too.

  Mace slid the razor over his face through the shaving cream again and sighed as he rinsed it off in the sink. He hated shaving, and in the winter, he preferred to keep his beard longer, but he couldn’t look at himself in the mirror and see his beard without thinking of her.

  He was a sad excuse for a best friend, a sadder excuse for a man, and he wasn’t sure what the hell he was going to do about it. Knowing he couldn’t do anything about it with shaving cream over half of his face and standing in his bathroom in nothing but a towel, he took his time shaving, trying to get his thoughts in order.

  Daisy was sleeping and had been doing so a lot over the past couple of days ever since she’d been diagnosed with an ear infection. Thankfully, her fever had broken quickly, so now she was just sleeping off the worst of the sickness. She should bounce back in the next day and could go back to school. She was already missing her friends and teachers, and by the time she got back, they’d be off for Thanksgiving break. They’d already been invited to his parents’ house for the main meal, and he was grateful that he didn’t have to cook the whole feast. His sisters would be coming down from Denver and possibly bringing two of their friends who were part of their core group. At least one thing was planned.

  He’d taken off work the past two days at Shep’s and Adrienne’s insistence. They and Ryan had said they would cover for him and make sure that everything was fine at the shop so he could take care of Daisy. He needed to get back to work and make money, of course, but he was glad he’d had this time to not only be with Daisy, but also get his thoughts in order when it came to Addi.

  He’d known he made a mistake the moment she walked out of his house. He’d known it. Yet he hadn’t gone after her because he wasn’t sure he deserved her forgiveness for what he’d done. And, frankly, because he was a damn coward.

  She had told him she loved him, and he hadn’t said a damn thing. He hadn’t even known what to think until she was out of the door and his synapses had finally started firing again. He couldn’t believe she had bared herself to him like that as he was pushing her away and thinking to protect his family. Only he wasn’t protecting Daisy. Not really. Addi hadn’t done a single thing to earn the distrust he had for their relationship in general. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her. Because God knew he did. More than anything. It was that he wanted to put her into the role of the woman in Daisy’s life, and suddenly, he didn’t know what to do. But that wasn’t on her. It was on him, and what Daisy’s mother had done.

  Because he’d been so afraid of hurting his daughter again, he’d hurt the one person he was supposed to care for more than anything. The two of them had been through so much in their lives, and he had spent most of his adult life with her at his side, knowing he could rely on her for anything. They weren’t just friends. They were best friends. And those weren’t just words or titles.

  And as soon as he’d kissed her, as soon as he’d made love to her on her bathroom counter, he hadn’t been just her friend any longer. If he had made that promise to never to hurt her as a friend, then he should have damn well made sure to make that promise when they were something more.

  He needed to go to her. He needed to grovel and beg for her to take him back. Because as much as she had said that she would be waiting for him, he didn’t know if that would actually be the case. And it wasn’t because he didn’t trust her words. It was because he wouldn’t blame her for walking away from something she couldn’t trust.

  His parents were coming over later to hang with Daisy as he went out and ran errands, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t just be going grocery shopping. He knew Adrienne was off that morning before she headed in for a later-than-usual appointment. He was supposed to be working, but Ryan had taken his shift so he could spend some more time with Daisy. He would be forever grateful for his friends, but right now, what he needed to do was figure out what he was going to say to the one woman he cared for more than anything. Maybe that was what he needed to start with. Because she’d said she loved him, and he hadn’t said anything back.

  Did he love her?

  He’d loved her as a friend for ages, but he knew that wasn’t the same thing, and nothing like what she had revealed to him while standing in his living room.

  The thing was, though, he could see her in his life for more than just a passing moment. He could see her in his daughter’s life for the same.

  Why couldn’t he just say the words? He’d never said them to another person who wasn’t in his family, but no one ever mattered that much. Addi had always meant more. She’d always been in his life. She’d always been everything to him. Others had questioned if they could handle each other as just friends with no sexual chemistry and, apparently, there was a slow burn.

  When they had been with other people, he knew there hadn’t been that connection that they had now. He hadn’t felt longing from her, and knew he hadn’t felt for her the way he did now when she was with her ex. So maybe time could change feelings.

  And as he closed his eyes and tried to think about what his life would be like without
her, he couldn’t even comprehend it. Because she was ingrained in every aspect of his life and his heart.

  “Fuck. I love her.”

  He was more than an idiot. He was a deadbeat who deserved more than the lashing he might get when he saw her again. Because he loved her, and he had let her walk out because he was scared. It didn’t matter that someone else had scarred him. Addi didn’t, and he should have known to trust his feelings when it came to her and not let anything else cloud his thoughts.

  And he shouldn’t be standing in the middle of his bedroom wearing only his boxer briefs, thinking all of this to himself instead of saying it to her. Because no matter what he thought to himself, unless he gained the courage to say it to her face, it didn’t matter. She was the one who’d said it to him first. She had balls of steel, more than he could ever hope to have.

  He needed to see her.

  He needed her.

  It was that simple.

  Though nothing was that simple.

  He quickly dressed and saw that his parents had arrived to take care of Daisy. He knew he needed to talk to them and his daughter about what might happen, but for now, he needed to focus on Addi. Daisy would always come first for him, but that didn’t mean Addi couldn’t come in a close second.

  His parents gave him curious looks as he practically ran out of the house and to his truck. He didn’t know if his best friend was at home, but he figured she would be since she tended to clean when she wasn’t feeling up to doing anything but thinking.

  Her car wasn’t in the driveway when he pulled in, but of course, she could’ve been parked in the garage like usual. He shut off his engine and took a deep breath, his mind blanking as to what the hell he was going to say to her. He had never been good with words. Never had to be. He’d always put what he felt into his art and how he took care of others around him. He sure as hell hadn’t taken care of Addi when he should have, and now he needed to grovel.

  If Addi wanted to kick his ass, he would let her. He still hadn’t even taken her out in public for a damn date yet because she had been so understanding about how much time he wanted to spend with Daisy. They’d had over a month of hot nights, quick and secret hideaways, and times where they were just together as if it had been the normal thing to do all along.