by Mark McCoy
Fitness isn’t just important for cardiovascular endurance. You also need to exercise in order to develop muscle strength and flexibility. Don’t underestimate flexibility. I highly recommend taking yoga classes, Feldenkrais, body cognition classes, or any other type of exercise that contributes to muscle flexibility. I recommend investing two to three years in some type of martial art – judo karate, aikido, boxing. This will introduce you to specialized areas. Senses, coordination, flexibility, reaction speed and more than anything else, exceptional confidence.
The bulk of what you learn is applied long before the first blow. It is the quiet, the concentration and the understanding of the body that helps you act like a well-oiled machine. The thought, the release of tension, the relaxation of muscles, the breathing. When a person is afraid, he stops breathing at the exact moment when he needs a lot of oxygen. Have you ever seen a dancer? How much air does he need ?
It’s best if you have a sporty hobby. Some popular sports, like tennis, look great in photos, but they aren’t great for the body. Why? Because they aren’t symmetrical and they activate one side of the body more powerfully than the other. Look carefully at the body of a serious tennis player. You’ll notice the difference between their serving hand and the other one. That’s the obvious difference, but it signals a deeper problem – imbalance between the two sides of the body. Every action of the back and twisting around the spine occurs around a single axis only. The result is that one side is long and stretched while the other side is short and shriveled. Even golf – a seemingly adult sport – leads to back pain, imbalance, problematic posture, and similar. Next.
The gym
Most people who work out at gyms are busy lifting weights. The result is inflation of the muscle. It’s an illusion. It takes a year to get results, and a month to lose them. If training is done with close guidance from a qualified trainer, you can work correctly and achieve the desired result. The correct method is based on working with light weights and many repetitions. At the end of every exercise, you need to stretch thoroughly in order to lengthen the muscle and avoid contractions. Very few people are careful about this. It requires patience, perseverance, discipline and understanding.
Aerobic activity
Aerobic activity improves cardiorespiratory fitness and burns calories. The most common activities are running, walking and cycling. You can combine all of them. Train for at least forty-five minutes every time. You must reach at least five kilometers at every work out, ideally seven or eight. You should walk or run at least two or three times a week, every other day. Run on a synthetic track or sand to protect your joints. For the same reason, you need shoes that are meant for running. Your running style should be light, flexible, without heavy pounding, and you shouldn’t start running without warming up and stretching first. After you run, rest until your heartbeats slows and then do some basic stretching for about ten minutes. It’s best to go into a sauna or steam room to relax the body.
You must do aerobic exercise like running. If someone ever chases after you, it’s unpleasant to be caught after a hundred yards. You’ll never know when you’ll have to climb a rope, run up the stairs or chase down a pickpocket. Not to mention sex. If, after intense sexual activity, you’re gasping for air, don’t be surprised if she dumps you for a diver.
There’s another reason. Humanity suffers from depression much more today than in the past. Beyond the usual reasons – financial insecurity and anxiety – there’s a sense of loneliness today that didn’t exist in the past. Society has become withdrawn, the human community has moved to the internet, a world without faces and contact. Over and over again, studies show that there is nothing like physical fitness for dealing with depression, sometimes enabling total release from it. Swimming, walking, running, and basically any aerobic exercise that releases endorphins makes us feel good about ourselves. Thirty minutes of exercise every day may be more effective than a pill .
Flexibility
Maintaining flexibility is the most important activity. If you thought yoga, Feldenkrais and the like are for women and old people, think again. How do you identify old age? By the rigid body, the inflexibility, the hunched back. Don’t grow old prematurely. You must preserve long muscles and flexible joints. The more you work on flexibility today, the more your body will thank you tomorrow.
There are many activities for developing flexibility. The most basic is daily stretching. It’s something that’s very measurable and can be tracked. Stand upright with your legs stretched and try to reach the floor with your fingers. Don’t fake it. Check and start working. My trainer is sixty years old and can reach the floor with his wrists. A flexible and elastic body means less pressure on the vertebrae and this means fewer back problems, something that most men suffer from.
Gyro
The Rolls Royce of flexibility is called Gyrotonic, also known simply as Gyro, which is enhanced Pilates. If there is no Gyro at your Pilates studio, find another studio. Gyro training requires special certification. Find out where the best institute is near you and go there. Practice with a personal trainer, at least twice a week. To make things easier on your wallet, you can join a group class once a week. In this world, anyone with brains and money does Gyro. Madonna does it every day. No joke. Gyro will develop your body and bring you to new fronts. The real gift, a strong and flexible body, you’ll understand over the years. Anyone who trains in Gyro will look younger than his age forever. Any time they wanted to send me to some destination, I asked for only two things: a gym with a running track and a personal Gyro instructor. London, New York, Amsterdam, Lisbon, Paris, Johannesburg, Rome, Tel Aviv. I never give it up. Especially not in Tel Aviv. At the Hilton Hotel in Tel Aviv I would run on the beach, look at the gorgeous Israeli women, and go to the Gyro studio across the street from the hotel with one of the best instructors in the world. If I remember correctly, her name was Ruth or Reut. Reut, during the American invasion of Iraq, I disappeared on you. I apologize.
Massage
Here’s an activity that’s fun and important. Who says you have to suffer to enjoy? I recommend a one-hour massage every week. It’s not cheap, but it pays off in the long run. It must be a professional massage and include many stretches. Don’t be satisfied with just oil. Ask for a deep-tissue massage from an expert, a man or woman – fine, a woman – that has studied the body structure and muscular system. A good massage needs to touch you deeply. That way it will be effective in improving blood circulation and flexibility, and provide you with a feeling of nirvana, both physically and mentally.
If you’re one of those people who don’t like being touched, my condolences. There’s nothing like touch. Every dog needs it. There are different types of massages, from gentle stroking with oil to being beaten in a steam room (straw lashes and rich foam). During a massage, lie naked. Don’t worry, she’s seen plenty of naked backsides in her life. Besides, she’s going to cover you with a towel. In any case, relax and enjoy. A man needs to know how to give in. This is a good opportunity to practice. One last thing: before the massage, have a shower. Of course, do the same thing afterwards.
Epilogue
There was a time when I played beach volleyball in Santa Monica. We were a group of men, every Saturday afternoon, meeting to display our masculinity. Under the cover of exercise, we would attract admiring glances from dozens of young women examining our chiseled bodies. Leaping at a ball when your feet are in the sand requires excellent fitness. Persistence in the sport helps build the triangular body of magazines. We had ambition, we ate properly, we swam in the ocean, and we saw results.
Flat stomach, six-pack, broad shoulders, tight butt. That was Paul, one of the guys. A good player with a great physique. Paul was a bachelor at heart, liked girls, liked to party. He used to arrive at a game after a “Paul Night” – a long night that included lots of alcohol, Paul, and his girl of the month. We used to complain that he came after a workout while we just came after breakfast.
By the end of
the game, another girl would have fallen into his net, impressed by his game of beach volleyball. Until Elizabeth. It’s a long story, but at the end, Paul fell into her net. When Elizabeth decided that she didn’t want to be another one of those women, Paul started showing up late to our games. When he did arrive, he would complain that he was full from a meal at her parents’ place .
Gradually, he began to show up for games once every two or three weeks. The climax came after one month, with twenty extra pounds. We suggested that maybe we should play sitting down. He didn’t laugh. Paul changed from a desirable bachelor to a guy who had messed up. He had lost his grace and charm. Finally, he stopped coming. Someone who bumped into him six months later said that he was hardly recognizable. Paul’s story turned into a motto at volleyball: Every time one of the guys started dating someone seriously, we would say, “Just don’t fall like Paul.”
What do I want from you? If you meet someone, don’t stop living the life you lived before. Make room for her, add her to your life, no problem. But don’t forget your past. You had a good time before her, no? It turns out that you’ll have an even better time now. Great. We’re happy for you. But she should come to your beach volleyball games, and you shouldn’t go to her parents. You loved volleyball? The guys were cool? You stayed in shape? So why stop? Don’t act as though you’ve been married for thirty years when you’re only thirty years old. It will come, trust me. Take your time.
By the way Paul, I heard you guys broke up. Come back and play.
Want to Undress?
Get dressed!
Clothes have a special place of respect for me. They have a special place in my work. In one of the harder and more interesting exercises, we were asked to look at a lineup of ten people for two minutes, go for lunch, and then come back and describe as many of the people as possible and exactly what they wore. From this we learned the secret of unrecognizable attire. In work like mine, you need to dress in a way that is immediately forgettable. A pink tie and feathered straw hat – no way. If you want to blend in without raising interest, choose gray clothes, ones that are quiet and non-descript. An eyewitness will remember a long coat but not a short jacket. Trust me. But that belongs to the past, and chances are this isn’t what you’re worried about. You just want the women at the office to say, “That guy knows how to dress.” I get it.
The rise of high-tech and start-up companies has legitimized plain clothing. Suits and ties are passé, an enslavement to anachronistic codes, part of white-collar slavery. Casual is the way to go. Good jeans, a good T-shirt, a pair of good low boots. Why the focus on good? Because in the clothes that I described, you can look drop-dead handsome or absolutely wretched.
Don’t buy just any old pair of jeans. Look for the brand and style that’s right for your body. If you have the thighs of a Sumo wrestler, don’t wear skinny jeans. If you’ve got a small gut, go for a low waist. If your butt isn’t sexy, buy a pair that’s one size too big. Loose is always better. As for tops – T-shirts, shirts, sweatshirts, jackets, etc. – don’t buy anything that’s too small, even a bit too small. A man in a shirt that’s too small looks like a midget wearing his son’s clothes. Keep in mind that measurements are not an exact science. Every brand has its own inch. Millions of men are walking around in medium when they should be wearing large, and large when they should be wearing extra large.
Underwear
Men’s underwear has two functions: comfort and impact. The impact is for her, but for you, too. As for comfort, underwear styles are determined by their cut. Jockstraps, briefs, trunks, boxer briefs, boxers. Men are usually quite set about their favorite style of underwear. I suggest trying a variety of styles, maybe you’ll suddenly feel that you’re ready to replace an old way of thinking. One fixation is the idea that briefs are uncomfortable. Briefs can be very comfortable because the movement of the thighs is freer. In fuller underwear such as boxers, the leg opening required for freedom of movement simply isn’t there.
The most important thing is size. What size do you buy? Medium? Most men think they are medium, but the problem is that manufacturers behave as though we are living in a world of dwarves. Sizes screw up everything. I wear a size thirty-two jeans, weigh one hundred seventy pounds, and have a pretty small butt. For years, I bought medium-sized underwear and suffered from underwear that was tight in the hips and balls. I moved to large. My life improved, but I still felt things weren’t quite right. Only when I started wearing extra large did I find peace and tranquility. This is the size that’s right for me, and after a few washes, everything is tight and well-packed. If I can go with an extra large, you and your medium are in trouble. This is the place, by the way, to tell you that it’s time to stop letting your wife buy you underwear. You’re not a baby and only you know how your balls feel. Go to the store and buy yourself the right size and style.
About impact. When a man takes off his pants, his underwear is the star. Underwear is for a man what a bra is for a woman. It’s your business card. If you’re hairy in the groin area or your thighs are nothing to write home about, wear boxers. There’s something cool about boxers. Casual. Boxers show you’ve got confidence. A bit grunge. A young guy who’s not afraid to look old. The minus – when you’ve got a hard on and you’re not wearing underwear that wraps and packs your weapon close to your stomach, it looks like a stick in the middle of a tent. If you’re in your first bed days with your woman, wear briefs – not a jockstrap. Briefs make you look chiseled, the sides of your thighs are pulled out forcefully, your butt is firmly packed and your dick fills most of the front part. It’s not a jockstrap that shouts “Hey, I’m a gigolo. ”
Colors? Black. Gray. That’s it. Black is best. I don’t believe in red, blue or green. Save these for the T-shirt. As for white, it’s possible, but you must be clean. Note that every drop of piss will leave its mark. I’m a clean sort of guy, but I still find that white is too clean. If you’re a steady couple, go ahead and surprise her every couple of weeks with color, but if it’s a one-night thing, or if it’s the first night, black.
Pants
Let’s start with the classic mistake most men make. Shortening them. Most manufacturers make pants with a standard length of thirty-four inches. This means they don’t have to produce too many options, but it also means that you probably have to shorten them. Usually, you stand in front of the seamstress, she pins the bottoms, the pants go out and when they come back, it turns out that they are too short. There are two reasons for this:
During the measuring, you pulled them down an inch lower than your waist.
You measured while standing, while in reality, you sit and your pants go up about two inches.
The result: Your pants are too short. When you sit in the living room or office, your entire shoe is exposed, along with the sock and sometimes part of your ankle, too. Very bad. Always shorten one inch less than the seamstress marks. Don’t be wooed by her attempts to convince you otherwise. We’ve heard it all before. Remember: better too long than too short. Not to mention the fact that you can always shorten a bit more.
Original hem
Look at the hem of your pants, especially jeans. They have a designed finish, usually a nice seam that slightly thickens the end of the pant leg. It’s known in the industry as the original hem. When you shorten your pants, all that design goes out the window, so remember to ask for the original hem. It takes some effort from the seamstress, but that’s not your problem. If you don’t ask, it will be a problem. Jeans without an original hem lose fifty percent of their cool.
So what to wear?
It all depends on the nature of your job. I can’t tell you to wear jeans if you’re a senior bank clerk and bank policy forces you to look like a bank clerk. The bank wants its clients to feel that their money is in solid hands, and that’s why they want your legs to look solid and gray. But you still have room to maneuver. Forget about your tailored wool pants. Look for stylish, comfortable cotton pants from brands like Dockers. Go into men�
�s clothing stores, try on all types of styles – it doesn’t cost anything. Ask the salesperson to show you options. Try them on, don’t be lazy. A new world is opening up before you. Buy three different pairs, wear them and see how people react. Slowly, you’ll find the best choice.
If you have to look presentable but still want to feel hip and charming, there’s nothing like suit pants that are long and sleek, a well-fitted T-shirt and a matching light jacket. Leave the shirt out, no belt. If you’re in an easygoing profession and have the freedom to wear whatever you want, there’s nothing like jeans. They’re a timeless classic, always in style. Not redneck jeans, by the way. The world of jeans has been revolutionized, and there are jeans today by a wide variety of designers in all sorts of styles. Modern jeans are appropriate almost any time and any place.
T-shirts
Making a good T-shirt is a skill; choosing one is an art. Here, too, you need to find the right brand and style. The top seam should be one-half inch below the bottom of the neck. Not on the neck and not on the chest. The sleeves need to embrace the arms, not press on them so tight that they block the arteries, and not so loose that they flutter like a boat’s flag in a storm. Long sleeves should reach the wrists, not cover them. When it comes to button-down shirts, I don’t wear them anymore. I gave away the ones I had, and I had hundreds. I don’t like the feel of them, and I’m not crazy about how they look, either. Tucked into pants, you look like a nerd, especially if you need a belt. In that case, you look like a super nerd. Outside the pants, it makes you look short and covers the nice part of the jeans. The lesser evil is a button-down shirt with jeans, with sleeve cuffs folded twice (just past the watch, about two inches).
So what is a yes? There are some possibilities. I prefer a good T-shirt with good jeans and some really nice shoes or boots. I emphasize “good” here, because there’s a lot of unflattering junk in stores. What I mean is the shirt has to be the right size, from a good company and in the right color. The jeans should flatter you from the hips to the heels, according to your body type. I don’t recommend a specific brand because it’s really an individual thing, I just want to say that ever since Levi’s came out with their classic 501s, brands have been creating amazing jeans.
