by Mark McCoy
And don’t fall into any traps that she sets for you. If she’s in a competition for orgasms with her girlfriend, send her to the New York City marathon. If she attacks you like a predatory tiger, send her to the zoo. And if she thinks she’s the lay of the century but sucks your dick like it’s the eighteenth century, send her to the museum. Be generous and sensitive, but don’t be a sucker. Those are the men who are replaced the most quickly.
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Your dick. Let’s talk about it. After all, that’s why we’re here. First of all, the issue of size. We’ll never get away from that. There are bigger dicks than yours, that’s for sure, but I have news for you: from your own view of your dick, it looks as small as possible. Look at it in the mirror – that’s how you see your friend’s dick – and it will already look bigger.
You should know that it’s not only the size that differs from man to man. Every dick has its personality. There are dicks that are quite small when they are limp, but when they harden, there’s a huge gap between their limp and hard sizes. And then there are dicks that look pretty big when they are limp, but when they are hard, they don’t actually get much bigger. Guys who have the first type of dick will feel that when they are relaxed, they have small dicks, but the truth is that when dicks are hard, most of them reach a similar size. That’s just one of the reasons why size doesn’t really matter.
Much more important than size is the art of the fuck; that is, how you move, touch her, and respond to her body. The first key to success is a deep connection with your dick. You need to be his friend. You must not reject him or become frustrated with him. By contrast, you must love, respect and award him. I’m not joking. You are attached to him at levels that are too deep to understand and are simply unaware of how dependent he is on you. If you want something from him but the desire is not wholehearted, or if your head is elsewhere, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t rush to do your bidding. If you press him to work for a quick fix and that’s all, then don’t be surprised if both he and she don’t pay any attention to you.
When I say that you have to be his friend, I mean that you have to internalize the fact that you and him are life partners, in good and in bad, and that you’re dealing with something that is very sensitive. He expects you to understand how he feels, and that you’ll know how to be supportive and understanding. He expects a pat on the back. When he gives you the hint that he’s not in the mood, he expects that you won’t bother him. Do you talk to him? I do. Every time I take a piss, I ask how he is doing. “Hey, Johnny boy, what’s up?” I ask, interested. Do you pay attention to him? Do you understand what’s happening to him?
It won’t hurt to throw a kind word or two toward him on an ordinary day, even more so if you and him are active. It’s true that the relationship isn’t one of equals. You are the king and rule without question. However, as your most loyal servant, you would be wise to remember that there are days when he is as strong as a lion, and days when he can hardly get out of bed. That’s why your orgasm is also different, according to his mood. Generally, I think that you can trust him. He’ll already figure out what you want. You need to feel that there is a dialogue between the two of you. That there is a relationship. During the great moments as well as during the moments you would rather forget. I toast to his life. You should too. Always remember the great burden that’s been placed on him.
***
Two small notes:
Pubic hair – regarding the hair in area of the penis – I recommend trimming it. You don’t need to shave it or cut it really short, but do trim it, just as you would trim the hair on your head. There’s no reason to have a dense forest around your dick, it just makes it look smaller. Women prefer that the area around the dick and balls be relatively smooth. It’s easier to lick, everything looks fresher. Think about how you feel about her pubic area. It’s more or less the same thing.
Masturbating – it’s like driving. You may one day find a terrific private driver that is both gorgeous and good at driving, but obviously need to know how to drive on your own. Once you’ve mastered the art of driving, you can you relax in the passenger seat and let your driver do the job. You’ll find tips about it in one of the upcoming chapters. Regards to your dick; tell him that we talked about him today.
Steak-Steak
Roasted steak or baked chicken
She chooses, you prepare
You’re the hunter. That’s how it’s been since the dawn of history. It’s true that modern men are sensitive, connected to their feminine side, and all that other crap, but you’re still a man. Be grateful that you don’t have to drag the lion into the cave anymore, but you do have to know how to prepare meat. At home, it’s you and her. Maybe another couple. I’m not going to teach you how to prepare goulash or roast. I want you to know how to prepare steak. It takes five minutes. No big deal.
First of all, buy a cookbook about meat. In every country in the world, there’s a local chef who has published a book about it. Before you get the book, here’s a short guide.
Entrecôte
The best cut of meat for steaks. Comes from the front part of the cow. Ideally, this cut of steak should weigh at least fourteen ounces. The level of doneness – medium .
Sirloin
An excellent cut from the back part of the cow. Level of doneness – rare (raw) to medium. Sirloin doesn’t have a lot of fat, and so it’s likely to dry out if roasted for too long.
Beef fillet
The safest steak in terms of preparation. Steak for women who are afraid of steak. A very soft cut. It’s quite expensive because there is only about four pounds of fillet per cow. Recommended level of roasting – rare to medium-rare.
T-Bone
Both sirloin and fillet, with the bone between them. The bone is in a T shape, hence the name. Should weigh at least twenty-six ounces. Level of doneness – Rare to medium.
Flank
From the back part of the cow. Suitable for marinating. Very popular in the US. Put a large piece over an open flame, slice, and top with marinade.
Preparation
Buy yourself a steak pan – a heavy iron skillet, preferable with a lined grill. Iron skillets hold heat well, which enables good dispersion. The steak won’t burn on the outside while it stays raw on the inside. The grill gives it seared lines, like when steak is grilled on a BBQ, and these are sure to attract admiration.
Now, look. The French understood a simple secret. There’s nothing like steak, a green salad, and a glass of red wine. You can make this even better.
Evening. You bought four steaks on your way home. You arrive, open a bottle of red wine (Cabernet, Merlot, Shiraz – a wine with body and depth that’s right for welcoming the evening, and the meat). You drink half a cup or so and jump in the shower. You say to her: “Supper is on me, just make a salad.”
Leave the steaks on the counter. It’s best to prepare them when they are at room temperature. Get out of the shower, put on a cool T-shirt and set the table (tablecloth, white plates, two glasses of wine, her salad, steak knives, forks. A small cloth placemat). On the main plates, put smaller plates. Ideally, prepare a small appetizer (not a big deal, see the chapter on cooking).
Pour her a glass of wine. Sit and nibble on the appetizer that you prepared. Now listen: The first bite you prepare, but you prepare it for her. On toast or on a fork, serve the first bite to her open mouth. It’s fun, it’s romantic, it’s sexy, and she’ll trust the person who feeds her.
Let her continue eating, and while the conversation flows, go and prepare the steaks. The best steak for this situation an an aged, high-quality fillet. Fillet is the most reliable cut of steak. She won’t find herself struggling to chew a rubbery steak with texture like a shoe sole, unless you want to enter the Guinness Book of World Records as the only man who ever managed to screw up a fillet .
Steak fillet in cream sauce
Heat a skillet over high heat until it is really hot.
Add two tablespoons of butter and m
elt.
Place two steak fillets, each about twelve ounces, in the skillet.
Crush some black pepper on top.
Turn the steaks after two minutes and then top again with pepper.
After another two minutes, take the steaks out of the skillet and place on a plate that you warmed in advance. (Place two plates in the oven beforehand and heat them while you’re preparing the steaks.)
In the skillet, which is back on the heat, add one and a half cups sweet cream, a half cup vodka and two tablespoons mustard.
Mix the sauce, which includes what was left in the pan, with a wooden spoon. Don’t let the sauce boil or bubble out of the pan.
Reduce the heat and put the steaks back into the skillet. Turn them over and let them absorb some of the flavors.
Transfer to the warmed plates. Pour the sauce over the steaks.
Now enjoy a glass of wine with her and tell her that is an Elisa fillet, or a Nicole fillet, or whatever you want.
If I were a woman, this is the man that I would be looking for. If she’s not captivated by your charms, get rid of her. A woman who doesn’t appreciate your effort isn’t worth it. I’m serious. We’ll talk about it .
Steak fillet in red wine
Heat a skillet until it is very hot.
Melt some butter or add canola oil.
Place the steaks in the skillet and fry for one and a half minutes on each side (grind some black pepper on each side).
Remove the steaks.
Pour into the empty skillet half a bottle of good red wine and half a cup of beef stock (you can buy readymade).
Add salt and pepper.
With a wooden spoon, stir the sauce until it absorbs (scrape the steak residue on the bottom of the skillet to add it to the sauce).
Add two tablespoons of butter.
Stir while cooking for another minute.
Return the steaks to the skillet with the sauce and cook for another minute.
Remove the steaks and transfer to plates.
Top each steak with three tablespoons of sauce.
Drink the wine that’s left.
Count your chickens
Because there’s literally no end to the number of ways you can prepare them. Surprise her or her friends and reap great returns. Chicken breast goes with everything. Just grab some confidence and you’re a qualified chef. Any marinade that you can think of works. Marinate the chicken breasts, put them in a frying pan for a couple of minutes and you come out a king. Here’s a few ideas:
Garlic, white wine, olive oil, rosemary
Lemon, pepper, olive oil
Orange, butter, maple syrup
Wine marsala
Chili, olive oil
It’s best to soak the chicken pieces overnight, but you can also throw it all together on the spot. What about throwing it together in the oven? Here, too, there is no end to the possibilities. Even when I had no idea what I was doing, I would surprise myself and my friends with out-of-this-world oven-roasted chicken. In this case, I highly recommend marinating the chicken overnight and baking it the next day.
A few key tips to remember:
Place the chicken in the oven when it is room temperature and not straight from the refrigerator.
Cover the chicken with aluminum foil.
In the middle of the baking process, turn the chicken over.
At the end of the baking process, remove the foil and let the chicken brown for a bit.
Now take this amazing recipe:
Three sliced lemons
One pickled lemon
One cup olive oil
One and a half cups white wine
Some Bermuda onions
Green and red chili peppers
Salt and ground pepper
One teaspoon green tabasco
Sage and rosemary leaves
Chopped mint and cilantro
Put everything in a food processor and process for about ten seconds. Take a whole chicken, or several chicken pieces, and spread the marinade over everything, inside and out. Put the chicken pieces into a resealable plastic bag and refrigerate for an entire day.
To prepare, remove the chicken from the refrigerator. Heat the oven to 350°F. Remove the chicken from the plastic bag, arrange it on a baking pan and cover it with aluminum foil. Let the chicken bake for about one hour. At the end, remove the aluminum foil, turn the oven to broil at 400°F, and broil for a few minutes, moving the chicken pieces around a bit. Transfer the chicken to a wooden serving dish, pour the sauce in the pan on top, and let everyone eat with their hands. You can also serve it with rice. I prefer serving with a plain green salad.
Alright. Enough about food. Don’t forget, we want you slim. We have many plans on the way.
My Money’s from the Bank…
Yeah, Whatever
Tips for using your mobile phone
The most advanced and useful device in the world today, the cell phone, is not allowed for our collection agents and field personnel. We’re talking about the most dangerous trap for any secret agent. It’s so simple nowadays to listen in, hack into voice and text messages, and worst of all, identify your location at any time. In short, not only have you been exposed, but you have also led the person who’s following you straight to you, even if you managed to get away from him physically.
So how do we get by? That’s a good question. Let’s start from the beginning. The mobile phone has made life very comfortable, it’s true, but also very nagging. On the one hand, you can relax on a hammock in the Caribbean and talk to your Aston Martin agent in London. On the other hand, while you’re in the middle of a safari in Tanzania, you may get a call from your dentist’s secretary to see if you want to move your appointment to later in the day.
The mobile phone is a like a small personal assistant. Alarm clock, calculator, camera, journal, to-do list, calendar. Use it all. I write lists and notes, and use the alarm clock. Why trust a hotel wake-up call? I also use the recording feature a lot. Ideas and thoughts for myself, and all sorts of things I want to remember.
Here is the place for my first important tip: Many people use a lock screen to prevent accidental dialing. However, if you lose your device, your entire world may be exposed, so there are some people who lock their device with a code. The problem is, this requires a lot of work every time you want to release the phone from being locked. What can you do? Here’s an idea: There’s a function that allows you to lock the device remotely by dialing a specific code. If the device is lost or stolen, or even if the device is forgotten at a friend’s house and you think he may snoop through your messages, simply dial that code and the device is locked. You just go through a short process when the device is with you and from that moment, you’re safe. It’s crucial.
Secret codes
All the secret numbers I need to remember are encoded on my cell phone. My ATM, credit card, home WiFi password, etc. Of course, I save them on my phone in a manner that’s impossible to identify if my device falls into the wrong hands. You probably also do this, but I have a surprise for you: Give your phone to me, or to anyone I work with, and we’ll crack the codes that matter in less than five minutes.
Do you think that if you write Monica Master + a mobile number whose four last digits are those of your credit card, it won’t be clear that we’re talking about your ATM code? You’re sophisticated but simplistic, and that’s just not good enough. You need to be more creative. For example: Who doesn’t have his father’s number on their cell phone? And if you do, how about putting your credit card code under the name “Dad Office”? Let’s assume the code is 3364, the number 65978434 will appear under “Dad Office”. How does it work? Simple: write the code backwards (4633), added 1 to each digit (5744) and add a digit from the code after each digit in the make-believe phone number: 6-5-9-7-8-4-3-4. Kapish?
You may not need all of this for your ATM, as long as you understand the principal of code encryption. The main thing is names and definitions. If the code is for overs
eas, don’t write Paris. If it’s American Express, don’t write America Ferrera. Don’t list your ATM number under AJ or Adam. Always go for the simple, the stupid, the obvious. Audrey Nails is not bad at all.
And how does the name of the woman with whom you’re having an affair appear? And what do you do with all the romantic messages you get? Erase them, huh? And how many times have you forgotten? Think about it.
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The big thing about cell phones isn’t fifth generation video calls. It’s text messages. Text messages are the print of our generation, like pornographic literature is the oldest invention, since Adam and Eve, and it’s alive and thriving to this day. Today, mobile phone providers make big money from text messages and from the illicit romances that flourish there. The written word and distance make it possible to say things that we would never say face to face. Sexy messages stimulate the imagination in so many ways. Once upon a time, this was done with a feather, ink and paper. Today it’s done with the mobile phone.
