by Mark McCoy
But herein lies the danger, too. The written word can knock you down, incriminate you, reveal your affair, and give proof of your participation in sin. It’s enough for you to be excessively attached to your device or to respond with inexplicable nervousness whenever someone tries to look at it, to point to the fact that you have something to hide.
To be clear. I don’t support affairs or long-term flings. Love is a precious thing. Love is based on trust. You can’t get around that. Broken trust is like a broken pitcher, you can glue it back together, but it’s not the same pitcher anymore. The fact that I’m giving you advice so that you don’t get caught doesn’t mean that I’m in favor. It just means I oppose negligence.
Make a habit of deleting all of your messages, even if you don’t have to. You need to make it an automatic habit, like locking the car door. Same thing with incoming and outgoing calls. Always. Set an alarm for five minutes before you get home and it will remind you. Make sure that you also delete the last message that you wrote and that appears on the display. That’s something people tend to forget. Also important: Delete both incoming and outgoing messages.
A small minefield is hiding in the call log. In the log of incoming calls, there’s a list of calls, recipients and hours. No details about the conversation, but to avoid hearing: “Who the hell is Natalie, who you talked to when you were in Los Angeles at four in the morning?” Erase this entire list. Think that’s everything? All set? Think again. Go to the message counter. You’ll find there a small, incriminating little devil. Delete the counter. In some phones, incriminating evidence can be found there, too.
Now to the core. Take into account that at some point, you’re likely to forget your phone at home. What happens then? Your mobile is at home and how are you supposed to know what message is going to show up when you’re not there. Your lover’s name is Susan. How should you write her name in your list of contacts? You can write “Susan Travel Agent” but why should her real name show up at all? You can invent a name for her and say that she’s the secretary of someone you work with a lot. But how will you explain that message from her at an illogical time? The best solution is to give her a real name of someone that your spouse knows. Someone who writes to you and talks to you a lot. Someone who doesn’t cause your wife to worry. Your nagging cousin, your partner at the clinic. I don’t know who. If there’s a message from her, your wife will be happy to let you know.
Another option is to give your mistress a man’s name. Your broker, your lawyer. In order to differentiate between your real lawyer and your lover, add a letter or two. For example, the real one would be John and the lover would be Johnny. Suppose you’re having dinner with friends and suddenly a message pops up. You’re in the bathroom, the phone is on the table and your wife looks. “Your lawyer left a message,” she’ll report, bored.
Your lover must remember to start her messages with a predetermined code. For example: “The meeting with so and so is canceled.” If you’re free and the coast is clear, you can write her back and everything is as usual. If you don’t write back, she’ll understand that you’re busy. How easy, how simple, how safe. Of course, you need to behave in the same manner. You must also write: “The meeting with the bank was delayed until next week.” If she doesn’t get back to you, it’s a sign that her husband is beside her. If your wife sees this version of the message once, don’t forget to change the code the next time.
Yes, you have to work if you want to cheat.
Being careful is also important for voice conversations. You need a plan in order to know for sure that the other side can talk freely. After all, if your wife is sitting beside you in the car and the conversation is taking place on the speaker, you can’t say, “Oh, sorry, my wife is here so be careful with what you say…” So what do you do? Simple. Let’s say your name is Timothy. Your lover calls and you answer. She says, “Hi Steve, how are you?” and you say, “Sorry, wrong number.” Your lover will understand you’re not alone, and you’re as clean as snow in Vermont.
There’s more. Let’s say that in the middle of an illicit phone call, your wife comes into the yard and surprises you. She just came home. “No, I said I wasn’t interested in subscribing to your newspaper,” you say, using the code that indicates you’re in trouble. Your lover answers, “Thanks and have a good day.”
The agency has dozens of stories about agents who managed to convey messages creatively and by using codes when they were in danger or not alone. Every agent has code words that explain to the other side if he’s in trouble or not telling the truth. Until we get to that, here’s some food for thought: How can you know that it’s really your lover writing you, and not her suspicious husband?
***
It was one of the hundreds of planning and improvisation exercises. Two couples competing against each other, and the clock, to see who can finish five tasks first (not simple at all). Each person was sometimes on their own, so the couples could proceed at the same time. The exercise included the right to paralyze the opponent. As a strategy, you had to decide whether to spend time trying to ruin the other couple’s plans, or to try to achieve your own plans as quickly as possible. The first couple decided to paralyze the other couple. It was a Monday afternoon, at a time when the partners were working on their own, each person separated from their partner.
The woman in couple A wrote to the man in couple B: “I lost my device. I suspect they (the other couple) stole it. I am writing from a stranger’s phone. Let’s meet in twenty minutes on the rooftop of Harvey Nichols (a well-known department store in London also known as Harvey Nicks). Don’t use your mobile device. If there’s a ringing from my device, don’t answer. I’ll explain soon.”
You, the reader, understand that these instructions prevent her partner from calling or answering his real partner and revealing the deception. The man reaches the roof of Harvey Nicks, waits for his partner. At the same time, the London police receive a message that an anonymous man is on the roof of the store peeping into women’s apartments. Three policemen come to the roof and find him. He tells them he is having an affair and is waiting for his lover to arrive. The policemen chuckle. A telescope hidden in a barrel on the roof (which the couple A had planted there earlier, of course) convinces the cops that they are dealing with a peeping tom.
Remember, even during drills, agents are not allowed to talk about their jobs. Only when your life is clearly in danger are you allowed to tell officials that you’re an agent. And even then, there are many chances of you being rejected. In any case, if the couple had prepared codes for mobile identification in advance, this wouldn’t have happened. Pure and simple.
The ring and the call
You’re in your car. Your lover calls. It’s a time when you’re usually alone in the car, but this time, your wife is beside you. On the caller display, you see exactly who is calling. What now? Anxious and confused, you hang up. Your wife is not a fool. She memorized the name and understands that she has to start looking into things. If you answer the call and start stuttering like an official from the Postal Authority and mention that your wife is beside you, it’ll be crystal clear that something is going on. So what’s the solution? Nothing is easier. Again, it’s all about the code, this time during the conversation. If you answer, “Hi sweetie,” then there is no problem, you are alone. If you answer “Yes...” or “Hello…” it’s a sign that you aren’t alone. She’ll simply hang up .
The extra device
If you’re having a serious affair, go ahead and invest in an extra device. Just for you and her. Talk on it for days on end. Write a million messages. The bill for that device will come to a different address. The device can be on you, concealed. The first time it’s discovered, you can explain that someone forgot it at a meeting or something. Ideally, the device should not enter the home. Remember your car (your refuge)? It could be there.
Understand one thing: The length of the calls is also a factor. If your wife discovers through the call logs that you
are having lots of long conversations with a single number, the story is over. Either your wife leaves, your lover does, or both. By the way, if your wife is having an affair and the bill reaches you, you can spot the difference according to the amount of the bill. If she is smart and is using an additional device, you’ll be able to see that the bills are low.
Despite everything, and between you and me, it’s better without stories, without codes and without affairs. You’ll live longer and be more relaxed.
You, Me &
the Car That’s Following Us
How to know if somebody is following you, and how to get away from them
Men are like a small factories. They have a lot of suppliers; some permanent, some temporary. You start with something small and it becomes permanent: a dentist, gym, psychologist, masseuse, wine store, laundromat, dog groomer, barber, etc.
Of course, professionalism is more important than anything, but I suggest that you include another factor in your selections – proximity to home. At first, this may seem negligible, but over time, things turn out differently. My son needed to have his teeth straightened. We got a recommendation for the best orthodontist in the field. He was a bit far away, but I told myself that two or three trips wasn’t going to kill me. I also thought I would use the trips for some quality time with my son. Slowly, it became clear that his treatment required many appointments. I found myself stuck spending so-called quality time in huge traffic jams. I was irritable, my son fell asleep, and we didn’t gain anything from the experience .
Get an offer from a professional who isn’t close to your home? Don’t even think about it. This is even more true when it comes to psychologists. Weekly therapy is an important hour that requires relaxation both before and after. If nothing works out close to home, look for something close to the office. Also, check traffic patterns and set your appointment accordingly.
And if we’re already talking traffic, I also set my regular work meetings according to traffic patterns. It’s pretty dumb to set a regular meeting at noon with a client who is twenty minutes away, for one and a half hours, without taking into account the time. The same applies if you invite him to your office. Plan a time that takes traffic into consideration. A client who shows up irritable from traffic will be grumpy when he starts his meeting with you. In short, proximity to your home or office only seems like a luxury. It’s actually super important.
A discreet meeting
Men in the mafia used to meet in basements and restaurants owned by one of their members, or in saunas. The reason for meetings in saunas is that these meetings seem random and are impossible to record. Even if our colleagues from the FBI are following people from the underground, they can’t install bugs in saunas because of the heat and moisture. Moreover, the meeting’s participants are naked, with only a towel on their bodies, so they can’t carry a recording device, either. If you’re worried that someone you’re going to meet wants to record you, arrange for the meeting to take place in a pool or sauna .
Where to arrange a discreet meeting? There are several options: under bridges, in abandoned parks, at diners that are popular among teenagers, car washes, etc. Anonymous and/or abandoned places that don’t arouse suspicion. The best place we found was a dentist’s waiting room. Except for two older women, it was always empty there. You immediately see anyone who enters the office, noise from the drill makes remote eavesdropping impossible, and you can talk freely.
If you can’t find a suitable place, sometimes it’s enough to get on a train and sit across from the person you want to talk with. It’s hard to follow someone who buys a train ticket moments before the train departs. I assume that in your daily life, you don’t need to meet with secret agents, but it doesn’t hurt to know. For a rainy day.
Are you being followed?
Drive at a normal speed. Look in the mirror. Pay attention to the car behind you and behind it.
Stop at a gas station. Continue on and check if one of those cars is still behind you. Go into a parking garage and drive down to the bottom floor. Wait a couple of minutes and then drive up and out again. Look in the rear mirror to see if the car you saw earlier is still behind you. Try to also look at the cars that aren’t in your lane, but are in the lanes on either side of you. Stop in a parking lot or at the side of the road. Go into some store and look out a window to see if a car stopped behind you or in front of you. Is the driver still in the car?
Leave and continue. Go into the parking lot of a large shopping center. Drive to the end of the parking lot. Try looking in the mirror to see who is behind you. Slowly leave the parking lot. If your fear increases, stop at a red light. When the light turns green, don’t move. Wait for the light to turn yellow and immediately when it turns red, drive. The car behind you will be forced to drive through a full red light. Another way of taking advantage of a traffic light is to go into the left turn lane. When the light turns green, drive straight. You can also drive around a block of buildings. Right, right, right again. If you spot a car that you saw earlier, you’re in trouble.
This is the time to shake off the car that’s following you. At the next intersection, go into the left turn lane. Wait until there’s just enough space for one car to turn. Turn. Drive quickly, and at the first opportunity, turn onto a side street. Turn off the lights. Wait a few minutes. By now, you must have succeeded in shaking off whoever was tailing you. Either that or you don’t know how to drive.
A romantic encounter
Once you’re convinced no one is following you, drive to your meeting place. The meeting can be in any parking garage. Park on the lowest floor. Usually, there aren’t too many vehicles there. She’ll come by taxi. She’ll get out of the taxi and go into the hair salon, coffee shop or pharmacy. From there, she’ll go into the office building above the parking garage where you’ve parked. She’ll take the elevator down to whatever floor you told her by telephone. Here, she’s getting into the car.
If you planned to book a hotel room, don’t choose some miserable motel. Choose a busy hotel with lots of action. Book the room in advance with a fake name. Go in and pay in cash. Take the key. Leave the hotel. Go to a coffee shop. If someone is following you, you still haven’t done anything wrong. An hour later, take an alternate route back to the hotel and go into the parking garage. From there, take the elevator up to the floor with your room. Let her know which room you’re in. Tell her to arrive carefully, in some random route. On your way out, leave separately, a few minutes apart and from different places.
Complicated? Who said you should have an affair?
Me!
If you don’t have him,
you don’t have anything
When you ask people what’s most important to them, you usually get answers connected to family, health, work, etc. Let me save some time – the most important thing to you is you. If you don’t have yourself, you don’t have anything. You need to live. For as long as possible and as well as possible. You need to get the most out of yourself and the best. You are the most important issue in your life. And the first, most important thing is to know yourself.
Body
Go to a serious clinic and get a thorough physical examination. Go back every year. This way you’ll have continuous monitoring that will measure changes in your health. Test your blood, heart, lungs, breathing, endurance, eyes, ears, blood pressure, pulse, and more. Depending on your age, there are also special tests for early discovery of diseases or growths. Once you’re over the age of forty-five, get a colonoscopy to rule out colon cancer. Once every few years, go through more extensive heart tests. Medicine has greatly advanced in its ability to diagnose and detect. Prostate cancer sounds terrible, but if you find it early on, you can get out of it with relative ease.
Sit with an expert and go over all of your data. Know exactly what’s going on and what you need to do to maintain or improve your health. Go to a nutritionist. Food is the body’s fuel, but not just for regular driving. Also for long-term parking. Many di
seases and problems stem from years of bad nutrition. A small tip: Apparently, the two healthiest things for the body are wheatgrass juice and umeboshi. These are canned, salted Japanese plums.
Soul
Go to a psychologist. Yeah, I know. You don’t have any problems. Dumbass. An hour a week with a psychologist is like having quality time with yourself. Every day, you talk to everyone, just not yourself. Slowly, with the psychologist, you’ll find what you need to find. What you repress, what bothers you, what frightens you. After a long period of treatment, when a serious problem pops up at work or in your personal relationships, you’ll have someone who knows you deeply. You.
Personally, I prefer female psychologists. My assumption is that a woman will also be able to see the picture from the other side. This is the opportunity to thank S.A. If it weren’t for you, dear, chances are I would still be walking around the dark corridors of life at the CIA. Thank you, you have a big part in this book .
Ability
You were born with certain genes that are responsible for your skeleton. If you become a revered chess player or a serial killer, much of that comes from your genes. In other words, a lot was determined long before you came into this world. But not everything. Your childhood, education, parents and home shape the mental and psychological patterns that you’ll have for the rest of your life.
Of course, not everything about you is predetermined. Everything is possible and freedom is given. From the moment you stop breastfeeding, you acquire abilities and skills that become part of your personality. Life experiences, difficult and easy, negligible and important, accumulate and leave their mark on you until you are almost complete shaped. It is said that people don’t change except as the result of a traumatic event or therapy. I recommend additions and improvements in various forms: professional courses, academic studies, reading and study, spiritual experiences, trips, sports, more and more, everyone according to his own spirit, everything so that at the end, you’ll be your own best friend.
