Jack Daniels Six Pack

by J. A. Konrath

  After finishing a full case of beer, he stands and stretches. There are things that need to be double-checked. He makes sure the Little Otter has a full charge. He lays out the dry suit, places a bottle of talc next to it. Tests the gauge on the nitrox canister.

  Then, outside, he changes out of his protective suit and checks the cement mixer, which has another three yards ready. It takes ten minutes to pour. He’s an expert with the forklift, and gets it into place on the first try. Two more to go. He loads the mixer with three more bags. Adds a touch of aluminum. A dash of diesel. A healthy handful of roofing nails.

  Inside, he practices for the last time with the TelePC. He’s adjusted for delays. He’s taken the route himself, so the timing should be perfect. This should all work out.

  Finally, he uses spell-check on the letter, and prints out a copy.

  This will be a nice surprise for Lieutenant Jacqueline Daniels. A beautiful end to a beautiful relationship.

  After six years, three months, and thirteen days, Tracey will finally get her revenge.

  And then he’ll get his revenge.

  Chapter 26

  AGAINST DOCTOR’S RECOMMENDATION, I checked myself out of the hospital at seven a.m., wearing loaner clothes. A cab took me to my car, which was still in front of the fire hydrant. I drove back to the suburbs, rush hour traffic helping me chase away the groggies.

  I felt pretty good, considering. A little weak. A little raw. But ready to work.

  Once home, I fed the cat, forced down some oatmeal, hopped into a tepid shower—hot hurt my skin—changed into a pair of boot-cut Levi’s, some Adidas running shoes, and an Anne Klein blouse and jacket—black over white—and called Latham. He was sleeping, but the nurse informed me he was stable. I took that as a good sign.

  Next, I climbed in my car and headed back to Chicago. When I got on the expressway, I called Herb.

  “Any word on the Hotham file?”

  “Missing. That one and the Welch file. From the two-four as well.”

  “That’s what I figured. There’s something there the Chemist doesn’t want us to find. What’s the set-up for today?”

  “You’ll be carrying a GPS phone, a clone of your cell number. It will track you wherever you go, and has a booster for indoors. They’ve got six cars, two bikes, four teams on foot, and chopper support. You won’t get lost.”

  “Any luck finding Tracey’s cell phone, or her car?”

  “The Staties found a white Honda in a parking lot in O’Hare. No plates, but the VIN matches. Unlikely they’ll find prints—the car was torched. No ping on the cell phone. They think he’s removing the battery between uses. We’d have to catch him during a call.”

  “How about the money?”

  “Cash, coins, and stones are all clean, as he demanded. We’ve got the yellow leather suitcase.”

  “What’s in it? Radio transmitter? Another GPS?”

  Herb didn’t answer.

  “Herb?”

  “Nothing. There’s nothing in it, Jack. If you run into the Chemist, you’re ordered to stand down. No arrest. No shooting. The mayor doesn’t want to mess with this guy.”

  I processed that, but it didn’t get any better the more I thought about it.

  “What if I have a chance to catch him?”

  “You remember what the loony said if you try.” Herb kicked up his voice to Mickey Mouse level and mimicked, “Many will die, many will die.”

  “Many will die anyway. He’s not going to stop.”

  “I’m only the messenger,” Herb said. “I don’t like this any more than you do.”

  I’m not a person who spits, but I was angry enough to.

  “Will you be there?” I asked.

  Another pause. Then, “No.”

  “Herb—”

  “We’re not partners anymore, Jack. I’m not Homicide. I’ve got another case I’m working on.”

  “And what case is that?”

  “Last week, someone stole a semi full of portable toilets.”

  “Well, that’s a lot more important than tracking down the mass murderer who’s terrorizing our city. What do you call that? Grand theft potty?”

  “Good-bye, Jack. Be safe.”

  Herb hung up.

  I had no right to be mad at Herb. The secret to reaching old age in our profession is knowing when to call it quits. If he felt he couldn’t do it anymore, my goading him wouldn’t help either of us.

  But Herb was Violent Crimes to the bone. If you cut him, he bled Homicide. Robbery was a waste of his time and talents. He must have known that. He just needed someone to remind him.

  I called him back. I was going to open a line of honest communication to get to the bottom of his fears and intentions instead of resorting to blaming and name-calling.

  The first words out of my mouth were, “Don’t be an idiot, Herb.”

  He hung up on me. I thought about calling his wife, remembered she was in on his silly plan to stay alive until retirement, and instead called Rick.

  “I’m glad you called, Jack. I heard about what happened. I wanted to visit you in the hospital, but I figured...” He trailed off.

  “No problem. Did you hear what the mayor said?”

  “I was at the meeting last night.”

  “He wants to give the guy his money without trying to catch him.”

  “That’s the plan.”

  “You’re not going along with that, are you? The federal government doesn’t make deals with terrorists, right?”

  “Not as far as you know.”

  “Are you saying—”

  “I’m saying that this guy has the means to kill more people. If we pay him off, there’s a good chance he’ll stop. I talked to some special agents on the Behavioral Science Team, and the profiling computer says —”

  Great. I’d been down this route several times, and it never led anywhere worth visiting. Was I the only sane cop left in this hemi sphere?

  I interrupted his profile-speak. “What do you think? You personally?”

  “I think he’s got something big planned, and if we bring him in, he’ll let people die.”

  “So we just let the guy go?”

  “The case won’t be over, Jack. We have a mountain of evidence we haven’t even sifted through. We’ll catch him eventually. And we won’t be risking the lives of civilians.”

  It was tough to talk while biting my tongue, but I managed. “So we run away to fight another day.”

  “You sound pissed off.”

  “I am pissed off.”

  “Not to put a price on human life, but it’s only two million dollars, Jack. That’s nothing.”

  “You’re wrong. It’s two million too much. Tell me about the profile. Let me guess—starts fires, wets the bed, tortures animals, abused as a child...”

  “Not even close. Single white male, between thirty-five and fifty-five, college education, white-collar job, lives in Chicago, possibly a leader in the community, does volunteer work, bi-polar—”

  “You think? Maybe his problem is he ran out of Zoloft.”

  “—above average intelligence, minor criminal infractions in the past, single, some background in theater—”

  “Sure, he did Arsenic and Old Lace in summer stock.”

  Rick sighed. “This is a decent profile, Jack.”

  “Where’s the part about dressing up like Snow White and collecting Donnie Osmond lunch boxes?”

  “Actually, the profile says he probably collects something, like comic books or baseball cards.”

  “Or poisonous plants. Look Rick, letting this guy go is a bad idea. Does the profile say he’ll stop if he’s paid?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, he won’t. I’ve talked to him. This is all a big game, and he’s enjoying it way too much. Once you give a bully your lunch money, you have to keep paying him forever.”

  “What are you planning on doing?”

  I thought about the .38 in my purse.

  “I’m going to
be a bigger bully than he is.”

  “And what if more people die?”

  That was the question, wasn’t it? If I caught him, and people died, I’d never forgive myself. But if I let him go, and people died, I’d never forgive myself.

  Burglary/Robbery/Theft was looking better and better.

  I bid adieu to Rick and spent the remainder of the drive going over scenarios, trying to find one with a decent outcome.

  None sprang to mind.

  I parked in front of a hydrant on Randolph, kitty-corner to the Daley Center. It looked like a scene from The Blues Brothers. Twenty members of the SRT were there, in formation. At least forty cops. Some brass, including the super. Eight squad cars. Four motorcycles. Two scooters. Four horses. Two mountain bikes. The Mobile Command bus. And a Segway.

  The Daley Center served as Chicago’s main courthouse. It was an imposing six-hundred-foot-tall structure, all steel and glass, bounded on all four sides by streets. The area around the Picasso—an impressive metal sculpture in rusty brown that resembled a horse mating with a harp—had been cordoned off with yellow police tape, and onlookers as well as media had gathered around the perimeter to watch what ever was happening.

  I popped the trunk, dug out my spare shoulder holster, and put it on under my jacket. I also strapped on an ankle harness that held a five-inch AMT Backup II. It weighed about eighteen ounces. I loaded five 9mm short rounds into the clip, jacked one into the throat, and added one more. My boot-cut jeans covered it easily, plus the wider bottoms made my hips seem slimmer. A win-win jeans experience.

  I went back to the front seat and removed my Colt Detective Special from my purse, along with a speed loader, and a roll of antacid tablets. I chewed four antacids while strapping the .38 and the speed loader into the Velcro webbing of my holster.

  Then I opened the glove compartment and took out a balisong, a Filipino butterfly knife. It had a four-inch stainless steel blade, which stayed hidden between two halves of the handle. With a few flicks of the wrist, the handles would separate, the blade would come out, and the handles would rejoin. I’d taken it off a suspect last year, and often played with it while driving. I’d gotten pretty good, and could open the blade in less than a second.

  The knife went into my back pocket. Then I stuck some Ray-Bans on my forehead, locked the car, and jumped into the fray.

  I pushed my way through the crowd, past the SWAT guys, sidestepping the horses and a manure mound that looked disturbingly like Richard Nixon, and sashayed up to Superintendent O’Loughlin. She wore what appeared to be a man’s blazer, which pinched her waist and made her shoulders look like a linebacker’s. The slacks were even less flattering. Someone needed to take away her Macy’s charge card, because she was wasting it.

  The omnipresent Davy Ellis, attired in gray Armani, offered me a big smile and a wink. Captain Bains didn’t seem to be around.

  “Lieutenant,” the super boomed, “I’ve gotten word that you don’t want to play by our rules.”

  Who ratted me out? Herb or Rick? Had to be Rick. Herb would never do that. Right?

  “I don’t think we should let the Chemist go,” I said.

  “I’m sure your personal opinions won’t interfere with your ability to do your duty.”

  “My duty is to catch bad guys.”

  “Your duty is to serve and protect. Engaging this guy won’t do either.”

  “Neither will letting him go.”

  O’Loughlin was hard to read. I knew that somewhere, deep down, she had to agree with me. But her face was granite.

  “I’d like you to relinquish your weapon, Lieutenant.”

  I blinked. Then I blinked again.

  “You’re kidding.”

  “You’re going to be watched every step of the way. Air support. Snipers. Even a police marine unit. We’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”

  I thought about my AMT backup, safe in the ankle holster, and then handed her the Colt.

  “Now the backup piece.”

  I made my face blank. “What backup piece?”

  “You gave up the .38 too easily. That means you have a backup.”

  Smart lady. I should have thought of that.

  “I need to have a gun on me, O’Loughlin.”

  “You’ll address me as Superintendent or ma’am. Now give me the backup.”

  “What if I refuse?” I added, “Ma’am.”

  “Then I call over some men to take it from you, and at the end of the day I fire you.”

  “And then I go to the media and tell them all about you paying the Chemist off.” I looked at Davy. “Think that would be good for PR?”

  “That would be bad,” Davy said.

  O’Loughlin got in my face. “You do what you have to do, Lieutenant. I’ll do what I have to do. And right now, I have to take your piece.”

  We played stare-down for what seemed like twenty minutes, but was probably only a few seconds, and then I gave her the AMT.

  “If I get killed, it’s on your head.”

  “I’ve got a lot of deaths on my head right now, Lieutenant. Do I have to frisk you for any more weapons?”

  I lifted up my arms. “If that’s what turns you on.”

  For a moment, it looked like she was going to do it, but then some SRT guys came over with a big yellow suitcase and interrupted our tête-à-tête. A tall one with a unibrow handed me something silver.

  “This is a tracking phone programmed with your number. It sends a GPS signal to the Mobile Command Post, and we can pinpoint your location to within three feet. It will also transmit the number he’s calling you from, and we can trace that number to either an address or to a cell phone within twenty yards.”

  “And if you find him, you’ll do what? Deliver a pizza?”

  “After we’ve deemed it safe, we’ll get the guy,” the super said. “He won’t get away with this. He’ll pay.”

  Another SRT cop, a black guy with biceps larger than my waist, opened up a map of Chicago.

  “There’s a chance he’ll run you around town, to try to lose any tails. That’s pretty much impossible with the GPS, but we have teams stationed around the city, all with receivers.” He pointed out a dozen red dots on the map. “We also have people stationed at O’Hare and Midway in case you’re required to get on a plane. Plus three teams dogging your every move. We won’t lose you.”

  I wasn’t worried about getting lost. I was worried about the guy dosing me with something lethal before any of the ten thousand cops around me could do anything to stop it.

  But I said, “Thanks, Officer,” just the same.

  They wired me up with a radio headset/walkie-talkie combo, gave me an extra GPS tracker, and an extra phone.

  “Do you want armor?” Biceps asked.

  “No need. He’s not a shooter. But I could use some of this.”

  I sidled up to Unibrow and put my hands on his utility belt.

  “May I?” I asked, taking a can of pepper spray.

  “Help yourself, Lieutenant. It’s rated at five million Scoville heat units. Hit him anywhere on the clothing, or just get the stream close to him, he’ll feel it.”

  “Thanks. A girl needs her protection, right, Superintendent?”

  The super didn’t seem amused, but she didn’t prevent me from tucking the pepper spray into my holster.

  “So now we wait,” Biceps said.

  The wait wasn’t long. Less than a minute later, my tracking phone rang. A blocked number. I nodded at the group, and said, “It’s showtime.”

  Then I answered the call.

  Chapter 27

  GOOD MORNING, JACK. HOW are you feeling?” His voice provoked a reaction in my stomach normally reserved for warm oysters and cheap tequila.

  “Nervous. I’ve got all this money, and no one to give it to.”

  “I don’t see the suitcase. Hold it up.”

  I fought the urge to look around. He could be in one of the surrounding buildings, in a car, in the crowd, on the street
, or even in the Daley Center itself. Ultimately, it didn’t matter where he was. We were going to let him go anyway.

  I hefted the yellow bag, surprised by its weight. Forty, maybe forty-five pounds, and bulky. I had Biceps hold my phone, then I pressed the suitcase up over my head, made sure it was balanced, and did a 360- degree turn.

  Biceps had casually plugged in an earpiece, and Unibrow casually walked back to the Mobile Command bus.

  “Good,” the Chemist said when I got the phone back. “Here’s how it is going to work. I’m going to call you, and tell you to go to an address. When you get to the address, you’ll wait for me to call again with more instructions. You’re to go alone, no escort. I don’t want to see any cops with you, near you, or following you. If I do, I’m calling it off, and many people will die. Understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “I saw that SWAT guy give you some things. A radio. An extra phone. And what was that black thing?”

  “Pepper spray.”

  “Naughty girl, Jack. Don’t you know that chemicals are dangerous? But I’m not referring to the spray. I’m referring to the small black box, looks like a PDA.”

  “That’s a GPS tracker.”

  “Put all of those things on the ground.”

  I complied.

  “The pepper spray too. I wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.”

  I made a face, but added that to the pile.

  “Very good. Now, I know that you’re going to try to find me. That you’ll try to trace the calls. I’m sure that large phone you’re talking on right now has all sorts of tracking goodies on it. So we’re going to switch phones. Walk over to the Picasso. Bring the suitcase with you, and make sure everyone keeps their distance.”

  This was getting better and better.

  “Everyone needs to stay here,” I informed the group. The super nodded at me, either a good luck nod or a you’d better follow orders nod. Then I yanked out the telescoping handle and pulled the suitcase behind me, grateful for the wheels.

  “Look by the base of the sculpture. There’s a coffee cup. Put down the phone you’re talking on and pick up the cup.”