Flawed Angel (The Fall Book 1)

by J. J. Dean

  "Don't you dare, Asher. Don't you fucking dare," Luna hoarsely pleads, repeating the same words she used earlier when I scooped her up to hide her away from the world. This time, however, it feels like she's demanding that I don’t leave. I don’t want to leave. That’s what this was all for.

  I feel her hands gently cup my face and I manage to focus on her face long enough to see tears streaming down her cheeks, anguish marring her beautiful features. I try to move my hand to comfort her, but all the energy I had has been zapped out of me.

  I'm fighting a losing battle with my consciousness, and it soon wins out. A gentle calm washes over me, a soft blanket surrounding my body. The pain subsides enough to make way for the caress of Lunas powers, a soothing melody rocking me into peacefulness.

  The last thing I hear before my body and mind gives out is Lunas broken voice whispering, "You fucking idiot".

  Luna

  I sit on the floor, my back leaning against my bed with Asher's head cradled in my lap, my hand brushing through his blue tinged black hair. The wavy locks are soft as silk as they filter through my fingers.

  The other three Angels are in various positions around my room, in different states of distress. Well, except Devon. He looks as though he's ready to bolt at any second, fully dressed in the same clothes he'd been wearing earlier. I'm in no right mind to question him on his sleeping attire, however, considering Asher's blood coats the floor and his broken wings lay haphazardly around him.

  Straight after Asher yelling out in pain, Eli came barreling up the stairs and barging into the room. I've never been so glad to have a lockless door in all my life. His face had contorted into one of worry and pain for his brother when he saw him lying on the floor next to me, soaked in his own blood and unconscious.

  Noah and Devon followed soon after, racing up the stairs on Eli's heels. They've stayed with me since, refusing to leave me by myself with the Angel passed out on my floor. I can’t say I mind. The gratitude I have for each of them for simply staying with me can’t be put into words. I always viewed my Fall as the worst thing that I’ve ever experienced. Being a firsthand witness to Asher’s Fall might trump that by a landslide. I’ll never forget the look of agony on his face. Never.

  Noah sits on my bed next to where I sit on the floor, his right leg pressing snugly into my side while his hand rubs my shoulder soothingly. Elijah’s leaning on my dressing table, arms folded across his broad chest, ankles locked together. His face is scrunched up in concern for his brother, the most serious I've ever seen his face since meeting him. If I wasn't so worried about Asher, I'd stand and give him a comforting hug he's always eager to give me.

  Devon is standing near the door, as still as a stone, his hands clasped together in front of him looking like he's guarding my room from the enemy. He wears a blank mask on his face, so I can’t get a read on him at all, but he really doesn’t look like he wants to be standing around waiting for an Angel he doesn’t even like to wake up. I mean, last they spoke, Asher had been cursing him out for allowing me to run off without telling anyone, and he had withheld the information before disappearing after me, leaving the others in a state of panic.

  Every time Asher stirs or releases a pained groan, I brush my hand gently over his forehead and begin humming softly, letting my power glide through my voice, through my hand and into his body. He soon relaxes under my touch, his breathing evening out until he’s softly snoring like he didn’t just get his wings torn from his goddamned back.

  "How long does he have left until he wakes up?" Elijah gently questions, watching my hand brush Asher's bangs from his face. A flash of longing crosses his eyes, but it's gone in a blink, so I choose to ignore it for now. One thing at a time.

  "I'm not sure. I was alone when my wings were stripped, so I don't know how long I was out for," I respond morosely. From the flinch that came from Eli, the squeeze of my shoulder from Noah and the tightening of Devon's mouth, I may have hit a nerve and they’ve taken my answer for resentment for being alone when I went through one of the worst things I’ve had to endure in all the years I’ve been alive. I don't blame them or any other Angel for my Fall or my wings being removed. It was my own damn decision. It was just a simple fact that I was alone when it happened. I wouldn't change it, even if I could.

  "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I didn’t mean it like that. It was my choice and I'd do it a million times over, without hesitation. I was simply just pointing out that I'm as clueless as you guys are right now. My dream never allows me to track time, so I've never known how long I went through the aftermath, regardless of how many times I've tried to work it out."

  My voice breaks at the end of my sentence, unfamiliar emotions choking me into silence. Noah, like the sweetheart he is, slides off the bed and sits right next to me, placing his arm around my shoulder and squeezes me to his warm side.

  "We know you didn't mean it like that, Luna" he softly replies, quiet enough I think that only my ears can hear, but Eli somehow hears him, too.

  "Sorry, Flower. Just strung a little tight right now. We all know you didn't mean anything by it," he explains gently.

  I give him a nod when he shoots me a small reassuring smile, and I rest my head on Noah's shoulder. My hand never misses a beat, continuing to run through Asher's hair. His body twitches every now and then, likely from the pain I'm not able to fully take away for him, but he makes no other outward appearance that he's hurting, so we all sit and stand around simply waiting for him to wake up.

  It's quiet in the room for some time, the only sound to be heard is my alarm clock ticking away on my bedside table, my gentle humming, and the steady breaths coming from Ash. The guys don't move from their positions the entire time we wait.

  What is probably hours later, I hear the tell-tale sound of Asher's skin sealing back together, the deep slashes on his back sewing themselves slowly back in place.

  I watch silently as his skin tightens, the bleeding finally stops, and his flesh seals itself back together, leaving two jagged scars almost identical to mine left on his otherwise unblemished skin. I feel a tear escape my eyes and slide down my cheek. I shake my head and wipe my face on the shoulder that isn't leaning into Noah.

  After a few minutes of watching Asher heal, he starts to come to, groaning and attempting to roll off my lap and onto his back. Speaking from firsthand experience, I know for a fact he doesn't want to put any pressure on his freshly stitched wounds right now, because although the wounds are sealed, they’re still at the stage where the cuts are fresh and pretty damn tender and will be for a little while.

  I grip his shoulder in one hand and place the other on his stubbled cheek, gaining his attention when he stills from trying to roll over and slowly opens his eyes. His piercing blues clash with my gray gaze and, as cliché as it may sounds, I could have sworn time stands still for a brief moment while we look at one another. I have never felt so much relief in my life as I do now when his eyes bore into mine.

  "Hey," he croaks after going so long without using his voice. He carefully moves his arm and wraps it around my waist - even with Noah pressed up against me - his head still cushioned on my legs.

  I hear Elijah snort and a sharp exhale from Devon, but my focus can't be torn from Asher’s sapphire eyes.

  "What did you do, Ash?" I choke out. I can feel the tears burning in my eyes. I've never been a crier. Never. What are these damn assholes doing to me?

  "What I should have done a while ago. Just took me realizing something important to finally do it," he responds.

  "We understand," Devon voices, still standing guard at the door. I pull my gaze away from Asher’s deep blue eyes and look up to face Devon in shock. His eyes are already on me and a look of longing flitters through his peppermint irises. It's gone before I can fully register it in my mind, his face once again turning blank.

  "I don't. I don't understand anything at the moment. Make me understand," I plead, unable to continue being left in the dark, having no clue what the fu
ck is even going on around me anymore.

  Devon doesn't reply to my pleading even when something akin to guilt crosses his features; he just nods to Eli and Noah and motions them to the door. All three Angels leave the room, a concerned look off Eli’s unusually somber face and a swift kiss to the head off Noah. Devon doesn't look back when he leaves the room and shuts it behind him. I feel a pang of hurt in my chest but stifle it. Why am I even hurt? Seriously, what are these jackasses doing to me?

  Asher's arm tightens around my waist, and he snuggles his head further into my lap, his face pressing against my lower abdomen, and sighs. I subconsciously start roaming my hand through his hair again, content to sit there buried in my own thoughts while I hum a random tune to give Asher some comfort and relief from the pain.

  Why would he Fall now after choosing to side with Lucifer? Why did he go through that kind of pain when he was here to convince me to go back? He's jumped into my dreams, he knows the kind of agony I suffer every night. I don't understand why he's willingly put himself through that kind of torture, aware of the effects it would have. Has he lost his mind? I did forget to Google if Angels can lose their minds.

  "I can feel your mind running a mile a minute, peaches," he whispers into my belly. The hand that's wrapped around my back starts moving in soothing motions up and down my spine. Considering I'm the one with the power to calm someone with a note of a song, it's a strange feeling having him to comfort me. It's not an unpleasant feeling, just something I'm not used to.

  I'm quiet for a few moments, gathering my thoughts before spilling them into the room. “I don't get it, Asher. Only recently you fessed up to working for Lucifer. You picked a side, so why would you choose to Fall now? Why pick Earth when you already had a home in Hell?" I blurt.

  He moves his head back a little to look at me, assessing my mood and how much information I can take right now. I didn't realize he knew me so well if he's trying to determine how much I can handle when I already sound panicked.

  "Luna, surely you're not that clueless," he gently comments, burying his face back into my oversized shirt I yanked on swiftly before I was joined by the others.

  I move my hands to cup his face and gently nudge him away, moving his head so he faces me. The look in his eyes is one of pure devotion when they connect with mine and I freeze. That look is something I'm not used to seeing aimed at me from anyone other than Ms. Frenchie, and that's definitely not the same. I mean, she looks at Brutus the same way, so I can hardly compare.

  With that one look, I allow any and all my walls to shatter around my stupid heart for the first time ever. With that one single look, I'm stripped bare and completely and utterly vulnerable for the very first time since crashing to Earth. My exposed heart thumps quickly beneath my ribcage and I feel a tremble run through my body. I stroke a hand down his face, memorizing the way he's looking at me right now. Despite the pain I know he's still in, he doesn't show it. He pushes it away for me while I panic over him and his missing wings.

  "For argument's sake, let’s pretend here that I’m as clueless as they come. Spell it out for me, Ash. Why did you do it?" I whisper so quietly that I'm almost positive he didn't hear me.

  That is until he whispers back the words that have never been spoken to me in all my long existence, "Because... I think I’m falling for you, peaches."

  Luna

  I'm left staring at the beefy man cuddled in my lap like a damn house cat in complete shock. If there was a breeze here in my room, I'm sure it would easily knock me over.

  He's falling for me?

  Was that a poor attempt at a joke? A pun because he quite literally Fell? Does he know what he's talking about? Is he too out of it to understand what he's saying? Can Angels go crazy and Asher is the byproduct of insanity? I seriously need to Google that shit.

  He doesn't bother waiting for a reply. Instead, he shoves his head back into my abdomen while I stare at my bedroom wall like a deer caught in the headlights. Surely he doesn't mean that. I mean, we've known each other for a small amount of time. It doesn't make sense. Surely my lack of charm and smart mouth, not to mention the Incident, are enough to cause a Millenia old Angel from Hell to Fall and lose his wings.

  My attention is pulled away when Asher lets out a pained groan, so I shakily begin to hum under my breath, my hand resumes its brushing through his hair. He settles quick enough, snuggling into me like he can't get close enough. I can do nothing but watch with wide eyes and a pounding heart, my hand trembling slightly with the effort it's taking me not to freak the fuck out.

  A knock at the door has me almost jumping out of my own skin, and when Noah's head pops around the door, my heart rate settles to a somewhat normal speed and I relax back into the side of the bed. "Hey, just checking on you both," he tells me with a small smile and rosy cheeks.

  The grenade Asher just dropped on me has still rendered me speechless, so I can't even answer the man. When I open my mouth, nothing comes out but a weird high pitched squeak that I wish I could suck right back into my voice box.

  "Uh, are you okay, Luna?" he questions, shuffling fully into the room. He crouches down beside me while I continue to watch him with my mouth gaping open and closed. I sure do make a remarkable resemblance to a fish right about now.

  Asher groans in pain again when the effects of my power wear off, and our eyes snap to where he lies on the floor.

  "Do you need anything, Asher?" Noah asks, his voice low like he thinks speaking too loudly will hurt the broken Angel in my lap.

  "Water," Asher’s grumble is muffled when he doesn't move his face from my stomach.

  "Get your ass out of Flowers room, and you can have an entire sink full of water," Eli says from the door. When the fuck did he get there?

  With some effort, Asher lifts his hand and flips him the bird, but my humor seems to be missing with the pressing thoughts of Asher’s delirious confession. That's all it was, surely. The mutterings of a man delirious with pain. That's what I'm going with, regardless.

  Eli's gaze flickers over my face briefly, before walking closer and crouching down next to his brother and quips, "Come on, you big oaf. You can milk it downstairs." He looks at Noah and asks, "Can you grab an arm and drag him downstairs with me? I'm strong, but he'll crush me if I attempt this shit alone and he falls."

  Noah gives him a nod and braces himself closer to me so he can get a better angle to lift Asher without hurting him too much. If there's one thing to say about Noah, it’s that he's nothing short of a sweetheart.

  "Fuck you," Asher growls half-assed, making no move to shift his body away from mine.

  Eli snickers before bending and looping Asher’s arm around his shoulders. Noah copies the motion, hooking his arm carefully around Ash's back, avoiding the scars that now line his once flawless skin. Asher's arm is pulled around Noah's shoulders, and he and Eli pick Asher off the floor with a great amount of care.

  Me?

  I'm still sitting here like an idiot, mouth hanging open wide enough to catch flies and my eyes the size of the moon. I'm so out of it, I don't even realize they've moved Asher from the room and downstairs until Eli comes back into my room. He crouches down until he's at eye level with me and lifts his hand to cup my cheek in a familiar motion.

  "Everything okay, Flower?" he asks gently, his thumb stroking the apple of my cheek.

  I blink a couple of times before shaking my head. Get your head out of your ass, Luna.

  I clear my throat a couple of times, and when I feel like I can speak without croaking, I tell him, "Yeah. No? Maybe. I don't know."

  Because that makes as much sense as an alpaca wearing a tuxedo.

  I shake my head again, sure that if I shake it enough, it'll factory reset my brain.

  "I'm going to go with 'no, Eli, I'm not okay'. Come here," he tells me before I'm scooped up in his arms bridal style. He stands with me securely in his embrace, turning around and sitting on my plush bed and settles me in his lap. My head finds itself resting on
his shoulder while one hand runs up my back in soothing motions and the other only holds me close to his chest.

  We sit like that for some time, him comforting me, no doubt thinking I've gone into shock over Asher's stripped wings instead of Asher's confession. I don't bother correcting him or explaining why I'm suddenly not working right, leaning on him and soaking up the attention he's giving me.

  "Better?" he quietly questions, moving his head back to look at my face.

  I give him a nod and mumble, "Yeah." I loop my arms around him and give him a tight hug in thanks, one he gladly returns.

  "Alright, let's get downstairs, then, beautiful. I think we have a whole bunch of shit to discuss. Better to get it over and done with now, right?"

  He lifts me from his lap and deposits me on my feet. Once he's standing, he gives me a quick peck on the lips. Before he moves too far away, he whispers, "Don't think too much about it for now." He's turning and striding out of my room before I can stop him and question what the fuck that meant. Did he hear what Asher said? Or am I that predictable that he simply knows that’s what’s had me frozen like an icicle? This is all giving me a damn headache.

  Rubbing my hands over my face, I lock everything away in a chest at the back of my mind, deciding that whatever just happened can wait until Asher is better and thinking straight.

  Once I'm sure everything is locked up tight inside my brain, I straighten my back and walk out of my room and down the stairs like nothing is remotely wrong with the entire situation we've found ourselves in. That is until I see Asher lying on the couch, arm hanging over the side and his face scrunched up in pain. I clamp down hard on the box in my head when it tries to open, and I mentally kick that bastard to the 'not now' section of my brain.