Fate

by Amanda Hocking

“Nonsense,” Mae laughed, as if she would ever let me clean up after her. She whipped off her apron and set it on the island. “If you and Ezra are in the house, I can’t imagine what kind of fun I’d even have with the boys. They’ll probably throw frogs at each other. ”

  She wasn’t that far off base. When left to their own devices, Jack and Milo turned into very silly little boys. Once, when it was raining, I split up a mudball fight in the backyard. It’s very similar to a snowball fight, except with mud. That seemed like a genius idea to them both until Milo started getting bruises, because as it turns out, vampires can throw much harder than weakling sixteen-year-olds.

  Mae shook her head and headed off down the hall to change. I followed her to the main bathroom across the hall from her bedroom.

  In the bathroom, I changed into my ordinary clothes, and I wondered if I was being too stubborn not letting Mae buy me new clothes. After she’d spent decades buying for only boys, it would thrill her to take me on a shopping trip. The suit I set in the tub to dry had cost over a hundred dollars, and she’d bought me three of them. But then again, they already gave me far too much, and I returned so little.

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  I tried to dry my hair as best I could and clean myself up. Before I had even finished washing my face, I heard a yell. I turned off the faucet, and Mae was shouting Jack’s name, so I rushed out into the kitchen.

  Jack was yelling, and he sounded terrified.

  Mae stood on the patio when I ran outside. Jack was still several feet away from her, standing closer to the shoreline. When I tried to run past her, Mae grabbed my arm, and her face blanched.

  It was too dark for me to really see what was going on, but I could feel pure heartbroken terror. Something terrible had happened, and Jack felt worse about it than he ever had before.

  “Ezra!” Jack bellowed, and he stopped walking forward. “Ezra!”

  “I’ll go get him,” Mae whispered nervously. Her hand squeezed my arm so tightly it hurt, but I barely noticed. “Alice, you stay right here. Don’t move. I’ll be right back. ”

  “Hurry!” Jack pleaded, but she was already gone.

  Even though I didn’t move any closer, my eyes adjusted to the darkness, and the moonlight splashed on him through the branches of a nearby tree. Something lay limp in his arms, and my breath caught in my throat.

  Immediately, I thought that something had happened to Matilda. The boys had gotten too rough, and she’d gotten hurt somehow, and Jack knows how freaked out I get when animals are hurt.

  Then Matilda whined by his feet, her white fur soaking wet. I noticed dark patches running through it, dripping off whatever Jack held in his arms. But I still couldn’t see it.

  It was perfectly visible, but my mind just couldn’t process. I felt dizzy and disoriented, like I was looking down at the world from an amazing height. I couldn’t make sense of anything.

  A wind rustled through the trees, moving the branches, and the moonlight struck him just right. I saw his face, his eyes rolled back into his head, and I saw exactly what Jack held in his arms.

  “Milo!” I screamed, and Mae wrapped her arms around me just in time to keep me from running at Jack.

  - 3 -

  Ezra ran past us, down the embankment towards Jack and Milo. I kept wailing Milo’s name, as if that would help somehow.

  I only saw my little brother, bloodied and limp in his arms.

  “Get him inside,” Ezra told Jack.

  Jack cradled Milo like an injured child as they hurried to the house. Ezra placed himself between them and me, shielding me from as much of it as he could. I bucked futilely against Mae’s arms as they walked past us, screaming at them, but I don’t even know what I said.

  “It’ll be okay, love,” Mae tried to reassure me, but I heard the tremble in her voice. “Ezra will know what to do. ”

  I watched helplessly through the glass doors. With one quick move of his arm, Ezra pushed everything off the island in the kitchen, and Jack laid Milo on the counter. Jack stood off to the side as Ezra inspected my brother.

  I couldn’t hear them, but neither of them looked good. Finally, Ezra pursed his lips and shook his head.

  “No!” I cried, and Mae let me go.

  I flew into the house. I reached out for Milo, and Jack grappled me in his arms. Lake water and Milo’s blood covered his bare skin, and it felt slimy rubbing against me. I hit him hard in the chest and tried to escape his grip.

  “Let me go!” I shouted. “He’s my brother! And you killed him!”

  “He’s not dead,” Ezra said, and it startled me enough where I stopped squirming away from Jack.

  “Then what’s wrong?” I stopped fighting, so Jack loosened his grip on me but didn’t let me go. “Can’t you fix him? Shouldn’t we call 911?”

  “I don’t think they can do anything for him,” Ezra said.

  “But you don’t know!” I stared down at Milo. Other than the blood, he just looked like he was sleeping. “We just have to call! Where’s my cell phone?”

  “Alice,” Ezra said, and I moved to search for my cell, but Jack wouldn’t let me go. “Alice. ”

  “Why aren’t you doing anything?” I yelled at him. “We have to do something!”

  “We are trying to,” Ezra insisted. “Milo broke his neck and cracked his skull. Even if he lives, he’ll most likely be brain damaged and paralyzed. ”

  “So you’re just going to let him die?” I asked incredulously.

  “I don’t think that’s what anyone’s saying,” Mae said. I turned to her, trying to understand the conflicted expression on her face.

  “We can try the hospitals,” Ezra said, watching the slow rise and fall of Milo’s chest. “Or… we can turn him. ”

  “Into a vampire?” I swallowed hard.

  Jack finally released me and took a step away. When I managed to pull my gaze from Milo, I saw Jack’s eyes filled with tears.

  “I am so sorry, Alice,” Jack apologized, his voice thick with despair.

  “His heart is slowing. ” Ezra looked at me evenly. “You’re going to have to make a choice, Alice. Quickly. ”

  “If he turns, he’ll live, right?” I asked, surprised I could talk. I found it hard to even breathe.

  “If we catch it in time,” Ezra said hesitantly. “But it’s not a sure thing. If he’s already too weakened, the turn might push him over the edge. ”

  “You mean instead of saving him, it might kill him?” The room started spinning, and Jack reached out to steady me, tentatively putting his arm around me.

  “I’m sorry,” Ezra said simply.

  “I can do it,” Jack offered, knowing it would make me more comfortable with the decision. He moved closer to Milo. “If this is what you want, I’ll do it. ”

  “Do it,” I whispered hoarsely.

  “Are you sure?” Ezra eyed me seriously.

  Ezra wanted to gauge my certainty, but that was impossible to measure. I felt somewhere between total shock and blacked out hysteria. Tears streamed down my cheeks, mixing in with the blood I had rubbed off Jack’s chest when he held me to him.

  Milo laid on the island, barely breathing and his heart slowing every second. If this was going to happen, it had to happen now, and as far as I could tell, it would be his best chance for survival.

  “Everything will be okay, love. ” Mae was at my side and wrapped an arm around me. I wanted to push her off, but I didn’t have the strength.

  “We’ll see,” I said. Jack rummaged through a drawer, wasting precious time we didn’t have. “What are you doing?”

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  “I need a knife. ” He looked back at Mae for help.

  “There’s one in the kitchen sink,” Mae nodded to it.

  Jack sifted through the sink and grabbed the knife Mae used to cut fruit. He walked over to Milo, holding the knife, and his breathing got more ragged. He was afraid of what he was abo
ut to do, and that didn’t make me feel any better.

  “Do you want to see this?” Ezra asked me, sending a new shiver down my spine.

  “Yes, of course. ” I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else when this happened, no matter how disturbing it might be. If this was where Milo died or turned, I had to be here, with him.

  Jack glanced over at me, his eyes burning with apology. He looked down at Milo and took a deep breath. With one deft move, he sliced open his wrist and blood trickled out. Pressing his wound up against Milo’s mouth, he didn’t even notice the pain.

  “Ezra,” Jack shook his head, his voice trembling. “He’s not responding. ”

  “Give it time,” Ezra said.

  “What if he doesn’t wake up?” Jack started to panic. His cut already began to close, and he used his other hand to pry it open, allowing his blood to flow into Milo’s mouth.

  “Give it time,” Ezra repeated.

  My heart raced wildly, and I knew that wouldn’t really help the situation. Whatever was supposed to happen wasn’t happening. Jack was terrified, and Mae tightened her grip around me.

  Jack gasped sharply. Milo woke up enough to sink his teeth into his arm, but little else seemed to be happening with him. Jack groaned, and I tried to understand what he was feeling, but it was too many things all at once.

  Milo coughed, but he still didn’t seem to be awake. Jack pulled his arm back before Milo gagged on his blood.

  “He’s choking!” I yelled, and Mae’s arms stopped me from performing CPR.

  “No, he’s fine,” Ezra assured me.

  “He’s okay?” Jack winced and wrapped a towel around his wrist until the blood stopped.

  “It’s too soon to tell,” Ezra said.

  “What do you mean it’s too soon?” I struggled against Mae, but she held firm. “If he’s breathing, doesn’t that mean it worked?”

  “It’s a process that takes a couple days,” Ezra explained, then looked past me at Mae.

  “I’ll go ready a room for him,” Mae said quietly and let me go.

  I rushed over to Milo. He coughed and his body shuddered involuntarily. I stroked his hair, damp from the lake and his own blood, and his eyelids trembled but didn’t open. Jack’s blood covered his lips, and I wanted to wipe it away, but I was afraid to.

  “Alice,” Ezra said and placed his hand on my arm.

  When I finally looked away from Milo, I was surprised to see we were the only two in the kitchen, along with my brother. I’d been so fixated on watching Milo that I hadn’t noticed Jack leave the room.

  “What?” I tried to focus on Ezra, but my eyes were sore and blurry from crying.

  “Why don’t you go rest? I’ll take Milo and clean him up and make sure he’s settled upstairs. ” Ezra’s warm brown eyes tried to soothe me, but I laid an arm over Milo possessively.

  “I can clean him up,” I insisted, but Ezra shook his head.

  “You can’t carry him, Alice,” Ezra said. “This whole thing has you exhausted and frayed. You need to clear your head a bit, and you can check on Milo later. There’s nothing more you can do for him now. ”

  “But-” I tried to think of a convincing argument to stay with him, but there was none. Except that letting Milo out of my sight seemed impossible

  Out of nowhere, Mae appeared at my side, and I knew the battle was lost.

  “Come on, love,” Mae cooed and put her arm around my waist, so she could pry me away from Milo. “He needs to be moved upstairs where he can be more comfortable, and you need a chance to breathe. ”

  Ezra scooped Milo into his arms so he could take him upstairs. If Mae hadn’t mentioned that he would be more comfortable elsewhere, I might’ve fought more to stay with him. But as long as it was better for him, I’d let it happen.

  I went to the bathroom to change for the second time that night, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Milo’s blood covered my pale skin. I took a long hot shower and cried.

  After I pulled on Mae’s pajamas, I left the bathroom. The panic and fear had died down, leaving an overwhelming sense of guilt and sadness and creeping numbness. It was hard to wrap my mind around everything. One minute, Milo was laughing in the lake. The next he was dying and turning into a vampire.

  Jack sat on the steps leading upstairs, morose and freshly showered. As soon as he saw me, his eyes filled with terrified sadness. He felt responsible for Milo, and I didn’t even know what happened. In all the worry of trying to figure out how to save him, I’d overlooked how he had gotten that way in the first place.

  “Alice, I am so sorry,” Jack said, his words rushed and shaky.

  “What happened, Jack?” I walked stiffly over to him and sat down on the step below him.

  “We were goofing off. ” He shook his head and tears filled his eyes. “He was running on the dock, but it was wet. He slipped and cracked his head… I am so sorry, Alice. I didn’t even think-”

  “How is he doing?” I interrupted him.

  I don’t know if I blamed Jack, but I wasn’t ready to ease his guilt. If he and Milo didn’t have a habit of letting things get a little too wild, Milo wouldn’t have been hurt.

  But then again, if I weren’t trying to let things get out of hand with me and Jack, I would’ve still been outside, reining them in. Or if I hadn’t invited Milo over tonight. Or if I had never even come over here. Milo never would have been here if it weren’t for me.

  “Milo’s still unconscious. Ezra said that if he’s lucky, he should be unconscious through most of this. ”

  “If he’s lucky?” I shot him a worried look, and he dropped his eyes. “What does that mean?”

  “Turning isn’t exactly pleasant. ” He rubbed his hands together sheepishly.

  “So Milo’s in pain? Like how much pain?” My eyes widened, and I hoped I hadn’t made the wrong choice.

  “He’s completely out right now. Don’t worry. He can’t feel anything. ” Jack tried to brush me off, and that made me more paranoid.

  “He’s my brother, Jack! I’m going to worry! This whole stupid thing is my fault!”

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  “None of this is your fault,” Jack corrected me sternly, and his eyes were strangely wounded. “Alice, you can’t blame yourself for this. You had nothing to do with it. ”

  “Don’t tell me what I can or can’t feel!”

  I tried to stand up, but the weight of the night hit me. I lost my balance, and Jack reached out for me. He pulled me into his arms, and at first, I fought him, just because I felt like fighting something. But his arms felt wonderful and safe around me, and I gave into it. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed.

  “It’s going to be alright, Alice,” Jack whispered. “He’s going to be okay. You just need to get some rest. ”

  “There’s no way I can rest as long as Milo’s…” I trailed off.

  I didn’t know how to finish the sentence, and I could barely fight off the fatigue anymore. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t know how much longer I could stay awake.

  “Mae’s sitting with him, and you know she’ll make sure he’s as comfortable as he can be. ”

  Jack stood up and lifted me in his arms. He carried me upstairs to his room to sleep. I felt too drained and tired to protest. After he laid me down in his bed, he stood next to it, looking hesitant.

  “You aren’t gonna leave me, are you?” I wanted him with me. I didn’t want to be alone.

  “Mae wants me to sleep on the couch downstairs,” Jack said.

  “But I don’t want you to. ”

  Still looking unsure, he carefully climbed into bed next to me. I had too much on my mind to get excited about it, but he made me feel safer than I ever thought possible. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his slow heartbeat.

  Only one thin wall away from us, my brother laid in a bed, going through his own struggle. I felt guilty for falli
ng asleep when his future remained so uncertain. The exhaustion of the night won out over my guilt, and I passed out in Jack’s arms.

  - 4 -

  Jack was gone when I woke up. I went next door to check on Milo, but he seemed to be mostly the same. He lay in bed, looking pale and frightfully small, but at least his breathing had improved a little. Mae staked out a position next to his bed, and she assured me that he had yet to wake up.

  After I got dressed, Ezra addressed the practical aspects of the situation. Milo couldn’t go home right now, and I didn’t want to be away from him. Our mother was always gone, thanks to work and a gambling addiction, but she would notice if we didn’t come home for days. Ezra suggested that I go home, get some clothes, and tell my mom that we were staying at their vacation house for awhile.

  Jack returned from his mysterious whereabouts and offered to take me home. Ezra had to repeatedly assure me that Milo would be fine before I got in the car with Jack. I was convinced that Milo would take a turn for the worst as soon as I left.

  “He’s going to be alright,” Jack told me again as we pulled out of the driveway.

  “How do you know that? Have you even seen him today?” I glared over at him. It’d hurt me to wake up alone, and he hadn’t explained his absence.

  “Yeah, I checked on him when I got up. Ezra said everything’s going fine. It looks like the change is taking. ” His earlier guilt seemed to have lessened a bit, since it looked like Milo wouldn’t die.

  “When did you get up?”

  “Awhile ago. ”

  “Where were you?” I asked.

  “I had to eat. ” He shifted uncomfortably.

  After all this time, I think he still expected me to go screaming for the hills every time he mentioned that he drank blood. I hadn’t gotten used to the idea, but it didn’t repulse me. Well, not enough to send me packing, anyway.

  “So did you just pick up some girl?” My jealousy flared, but oddly enough, that appeared to relieve him.

  “No. We were low on blood at the house, so I went to the bank and picked some up. We’re gonna need more blood around with Milo. ” He said it so matter-of-factly, but in a weird way, it hadn’t fully sunk in with me yet.

  Milo needed to drink blood.

  “When does Milo need to eat?”

  “Soon, I think. ” He looked over at me to see how I was taking things. I must’ve managed to look pretty okay, because he continued. “At first, he’s going to eat a lot. The turning takes a lot out of you, and he won’t understand how to gauge his hunger. ”

  “I can’t believe this is happening,” I groaned. Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the seat and tried not to look as freaked out as I felt.

  “It won’t be so bad,” Jack said. “I mean, I’m not so bad, right?”

  “So what’s gonna happen?”

  “I can’t really say for sure. ”

  “What do you mean you can’t say? You’re a vampire. You know what it’s like to be one,” I said incredulously.

  “Yeah, but it’s different for everybody. ” He wanted to let it go with that, but I kept glaring at him until he continued. “You already know the basics. I don’t even know what you’re trying to find out. ”

  “This whole turning process,” I clarified. “What does that entail exactly?”