The Ways of Heaven

by Lindsey Barlow

  “Please Lord, in your mercy, let me not think of Meg,” he groaned.

  As if in reply a breeze washed through his hair, carrying with it the scent of fresh bread and hot butter.

  Eighteen

  Rose wiped the sweat off her forehead and sat up on her knees in a pile of weeds. There had been no notice, no letter saying she was now Rose Castle and no longer Rose Walker. She needed the attestation of divorce. She wanted to have all ties with Cade severed permanently and officially. Shrugging, she pushed the thought aside and went to the kitchen where she found Meg laughing so hard she was clutching her sides. When Rose walked in, the breathless cook tried to say hello, but continued to laugh and pointed a wobbly finger at the twins as if in explanation.

  “Impressions,” she managed to stutter between laughs.

  Bill smiled innocently. “We were being roosters,” he said with Frank laughing behind him.

  “They are amazing at it,” Meg said, wiping her eyes. “They did cows and cats and dogs and roosters just now, but the most humorous one was the impression they did of me.”

  “Did you like it?” Bill asked eagerly.

  “Immensely,” Meg answered. “Now that we have had our laugh, let’s get back to kneading the dough.”

  Rose took a step forward. “Actually, gentlemen, I was wondering if I could steal Meg for a bit.”

  Meg frowned. “Is something wrong?”

  “Oh no, I wanted to show you the baby cows. We have an injured one who can finally stand on its own and the other is thriving. I thought you might like to see them.”

  “They are awfully pretty, Miss Meg,” Frank added. “Mr. Jeffries let us go see them last week.”

  Meg nodded eagerly. “Do you two mind if I take a break?”

  They answered that they wouldn’t and Meg pulled off her apron and skipped over to Rose. “I have never seen calves before.”

  “They are one of God’s prettiest creations, in my opinion.” Rose led her out of the kitchen.

  “I heard two were found. They had been taken by rustlers? The workers have been talking about it.”

  Rose nodded. “One was better off and luckily we found the owners. It is thriving being back with its mother from what I have heard. The other we have no idea where it came from, but it is blind in one eye with a docked tail and is still healing, the poor thing, which is why we haven’t let it go out to pasture yet.”

  “It is awful when little things are hurt by others,” Meg shook her head angrily. “Makes me sick. Babies are precious whether in cow form, cat form—any baby.”

  Rose nodded, pressing her lips tightly together. “Yes, they are.”

  Upon arriving, Meg let out a gasp of delight when she laid eyes on the baby cows. The velvet nosed calf looked at her with its legs spread out like a triangle. One eye was halfway shut, and the heifer beside it seemed to sense its disability because her movements were slow and gentle.

  “The other is nursing still, but you can touch this one. Our heifers are extremely tame and used to us touching their babies.” Rose opened the stall with one hand, balancing Daisy on her hip with the other. “We named him Rocky, since Sheriff Ben found him in the mountains.”

  Meg tiptoed hesitantly into the stall. The heifer lazily chewing cud gave her a patient glance before returning to her food. The calf lifted its nose as Meg held out her hand.

  “Hello precious,” Meg whispered, feeling like she was on sacred ground. She touched the ears, and the calf lifted its head eagerly. Meg laughed and knelt down to be at eye level with it. She ran her hands down the neck talking softly. “I am sorry about your poor little eye and tail.” She nearly choked on her words as a wave of compassion washed over her. “It wasn’t fair, was it?”

  It wasn’t fair, but I still love him.

  The words were so strong that they were almost audible. Meg’s lips parted as a feeling of overwhelming love for the little cow settled over her. She suddenly knew without a doubt that God loved this baby cow, and that He was aching for the pain and injustice done to it. This calf was His, and no one had the right to hurt it. But God did not control people like a puppet master. He allowed them to make choices, and because people were broken, broken things happened.

  Yet the feeling of love was so strong that Meg felt like her chest might burst. God’s mercy was shown when the calf was found, when it could nurse and be tended to. God would not force anyone, but His love was in control. And He loved this calf deeply.

  How much more do I love you? Meg’s eyes filled with tears. How often did she feel like this little calf—left alone, a victim of another’s brokenness? But that did not mean God did not love her. It meant that Charles Lars was a cruel man, that her mother was weak. Yet she felt—she knew—that it was God’s love who sent Rose, and brought her to Tall Pine.

  “Meg?” Rose asked when Meg let out a shaky sigh etched with emotion. “Are you alright?”

  Meg nodded, not turning around, but rather pressing her head against the calf’s. “Yes Rose, I am very much alright.”

  Nineteen

  Jonathan’s eyes ached as he scanned the latest medical journal. His head throbbed from lack of sleep, trying to keep up with his appointments, deliver babies, visit the reservations, and then do laundry, cooking, shopping. He felt worn thin. His parents had offered to have him move back in, but he’d promptly refused. A grown man shouldn’t need to live with his parents. He should be able to look after himself just fine. Not to mention that the last thing he needed was to show his father that he was indeed struggling.

  “You look like a man deep in thought.” Eliza Lampton’s cheery voice interrupted his reverie as she placed in front of him a plate with a slice of moist white cake coated in strawberries drizzled in sugar.

  “I am.” He laughed and shook his head. He had not slept all night and had been making calls all morning and afternoon. His head throbbed with fatigue.

  “Will you be attending the Hugh’s party?” She sat down and nodded to the cake. “It’s a gift by the way; you can eat it.”

  He frowned. “A gift?”

  “For helping Bless last week. I was scared sick when she got a fever.”

  He nodded. “My pleasure, though I must say that while I’m used to having mothers looking on, I have bruises from where you gripped my shoulder as I examined her,” he laughed. “It was very endearing to see, or rather feel, that intense concern.”

  Eliza’s face sobered. “Bless is everything to me.” She patted her belly. “It was a long time before I was blessed with family. I used to worry it would never happen; now I worry about losing one of them. What if sickness comes? What if I do something wrong—”

  Jonathan reached across the table and patted Eliza’s hand. “You and Kyle are the best parents I have ever seen. Bless will be all right. For now,” he nodded at her belly, “try not to worry so much and take time to relax.”

  Eliza scrunched her nose. “I hate relaxing.”

  Jonathan laughed and stabbed the cake with his fork. “That I know, Eliza.”

  The door jingled and Eliza looked behind her. “Oh, look at that, it is Miss Rose and her friend. What is her name? Meg,I believe.”

  Jonathan coughed on the cake now lodged in his throat. He reached for a glass of water and swallowed until it was empty. Sure enough, Rose was pushing Daisy, now sitting up in the pram, and beside her was Meg with shining eyes and a sprinkle of freckles on her nose, reminding him of the kisses he longed to pepper across her face.

  “I best go say hello.” Eliza stood up eagerly and hurried over to them. Meanwhile, Jonathan was trying to see how he could sneak out. He ate here almost every day, being an awful cook himself, and he always sat in the back, so there was no way he could exit unnoticed.

  In a desperate attempt, Jonathan grabbed the Medicine Journal he was reading and held it up to his face. Despite his attraction to the spunky cook, he had his pride—she’d avoided him once; he would not pursue her again.At that point, Christabel walked by him hold
ing a teakettle. “You’re still visible Doctor, and we don’t have any secret doors.” She grinned shamelessly before waltzing away. Jonathan fought a smile—Christabel was famous for her uncurbed nature.“Jonathan?” Rose had spotted him and was walking towards him.

  He lowered the pages and smiled, not looking at Meg, fearing his skin would turn beat red, or that he would simply stare at her star-struck.

  “Do you live here?” Rose teased.

  Jonathan chuckled. “No, this is where I go to relax. My own home currently smells like burned eggs, so I prefer here.”

  “Did you burn eggs?” Meg asked, looking at him briefly before lowering her eyes.

  “Terribly,” Jonathan admitted. “Eggs cook longer than I expected, so I thought I had some time to do chores while they cooked. Before I knew it, they had exploded all over my kitchen.”

  The two women let out exclamations of amused pity. “Listen, Jonathan, Meg has just agreed to give me cooking lessons next week.”

  Meg looked over at Rose like this was news to her. “I—”

  “Anyway,” Rose continued, “can you make time to join us? How about Tuesday? I can help Meg so she is finished earlier and we can both learn a few things from her before dinner, which of course you are invited to.”

  Meg was staring at Rose and then back at Jonathan, not saying a word. Jonathan did not know what to say. This is what he hated about himself. A real man could say “no” or “yes” and make up his mind. Right now Jonathan was conflicted between not wanting to go to avoid his feelings for Meg, or saying yes so he could see Meg and not hurt Rose’s feelings.

  “Does three o’clock sound alright?”

  Jonathan and Meg both nodded and looked at each other helplessly.

  “Wonderful,” Rose said brightly. “We will see you then.”

  “Uhh, are you going to join me?” Jonathan managed to say, waving to the empty chairs at his table.

  Rose opened her mouth to speak, but closed it and looked at Meg to answer.

  “No, I came here hoping to talk to Mr. Lampton. I hope he will share a few of his secrets with me.” She gave him an apologetic smile.

  Jonathan blinked and looked back at the journal. “Good luck with that.”

  “Jonathan,” Meg said his name softly, pronouncing it slowly as if reciting poetry.

  He looked up inwardly begging himself to put on a strong front. “Yes, Miss Partridge?” He enunciated her last name. He was a professional now, not a young doctor with a young crush.

  “Thank you for the flowers you left me. That was very kind.”

  “Well, I wanted to thank you. Jeffries dropped off the cookies you made, and the loaves of bread and the jerky.” He shook his head in grateful disbelief. “You made some children very happy with your gifts. They begged me to bring more, saying it was the best they had ever tasted.”

  Her lips parted into a grin. “Well then, I shall have to outdo my last performance so they will not be disappointed.”

  Jonathan tilted his head at her. “Miss Partridge, I don’t think you could disappoint even if you tried.” He was rewarded with a laugh erupting from her chest as she shook her head letting chocolate-colored tendrils fall along her neck.

  “Oh my, now you have me flustered.” She began to turn away but paused, “You will come at three o’clock? Rose made the lessons up, but I would be happy to teach you what I know.”

  “I am glad to hear that.” He searched for something more to say. He found her beautiful, although she also frightened him. “I look forward to Tuesday.”

  Twenty

  Cade ground his teeth and dug his boot into the ground. She was smiling, his beautiful Rose was walking around town with friends, smiling and talking. Was she not affected even the slightest bit by their separation?

  She looked happier, too: Her shoulders didn’t sag and her step was lighter even while pushing a pram. A familiar surge of guilt swam through his veins when he saw Rose stop and pick up a beautiful baby to rock her. Even from a distance he could tell the child was exceptionally lovely with warm skin and large eyes. Rose kissed the baby and gave her a tight squeeze before settling her back in the pram.

  He felt a flicker of pride in his chest. That was his wife: proud, kind, facing adversity with the grace of a queen. She would make sure this child was treated right, that she was loved and cared for. She would do what Cade should have been man enough to do.

  What would have happened had Cade agreed to the child? Would she still be with him in Denver instead of walking through Tall Pine with a glow to surpass that of a mountain sunrise? Cade jutted out his jaw. It did no good to think of such things. He was not fit to have a child anyway; that was why she had left his bed and shoved him out of her heart. She knew he was not fit and went to great lengths to prevent him from failing as a father as he had a husband.

  Cade felt the twitch in his hand. The need. The insatiable hunger. He tried to shut it down, but it roared to life like a frenzied lion needing to be fed. As he entertained the thought to gamble it was like injecting soothing calm into his veins. His mind cleared, his body relaxed. Yes, he needed to gamble, needed to feel the cards in his hands, the burn of whiskey on his throat, and the sting of smoke in his eyes.

  Someone tapped him on the shoulder. Cade looked over to see two young men nodding to the door he was now blocking.

  “You going in?” they asked. Cade looked up to see his was standing in front of a saloon. He had been so focused on Rose, he hadn’t noticed where his damaged instincts had led him. “Or you too old to handle whiskey and cards?” one laughed.

  Cade cocked an eyebrow and jerked his head to the saloon. “You boys should put your money where your mouth is.”

  The taller of the two threw back his shoulders. “You’re brave to say that to the finest card players in Tall Pine. Jim and Theodore Coble will take whatever you got when it comes to poker.” He flicked a thumb at him and his brother.

  Cade chuckled. A high stakes card game was just what he needed. “Alright boys, let’s see what you got.”

  As luck would have it, Jim and Theodore had a lot to place on the table. Not only were they exceptional at the game, but the stakes were getting higher and higher. The brothers delivered as they placed cash after cash on the table. Cade’s whole body shook with both the excitement that made him feel powerful and the self-disgust that begged him to leave even while knowing he couldn’t escape.

  “I think you’re all out.” Theodore smirked and licked his teeth. “I can tell when a man ain’t being truthful. You ain’t got nothing to bet.”

  Cade leaned back and lifted his chin. “And I bet you boys are loaded,” he said mordantly. “With your cracked teeth and beer stained shirt, you expect me to believe you have endless cash in those torn pockets of yours?”

  The others at the table laughed and Jim’s eyes darkened. “Listen here, pretty fella, my brother and I got more cash flowing in than you could believe!”

  Theodore punched Jim in the shoulder and his brother let out an angered yelp. “Shut your pie hole, Jim,” Theodore snarled. “That’s the whiskey talking. We ain’t nothing but two cowboys working the Hugh’s cattle ranch.”

  Cade lifted his brows. “The Hugh’s ranch? I didn’t think a family as distinguished as the Hughs would hire two ignorant fools like yourselves,” Cade laughed. He did not know why he was trying to start a fight, but he kept at it. The anger at himself always snuck out and attacked those nearest. Too many times it had been Rose bitten by his anger, beautiful Rose.

  Theodore snorted. “You any better? Coming to Tall Pine with a shirt that smells like you ain’t washed it for days and staring at that Miss Rose like a starving man? She’s married to some rich fella in Denver, so you ain’t got a chance.”

  A big gutted man at the table barked a laugh. “That ain’t what I heard. She left him after she got pregnant with some colored man’s baby. Take a look if you can. That baby she be kissing and showing off without shame is a dark one.”


  Cade clutched his cards creasing them in the middle. “Rose isn’t guilty of infidelity.”

  The big guy scowled. “How would you know? Besides, I saw the baby myself across the street. Beautiful child with big green eyes—” He grinned wickedly. “Spent some time in the South myself you know. Virginia. Them dark women with light eyes are a treat when you find them.”

  Cade exploded. He may not have wanted the baby, but that child was now Rose’s, and no one would slander her in his presence. Tossing down the cards he shoved the table away from him and stood up. “I sure wish you had not said that.”

  /

  Sheriff Ben rubbed his eyes as he walked down the main street of Tall Pine. The entrails of twelve cattle had been found in the mountains early that morning, and he was just returning from examining them. The Silent Owls drove their cattle and stole mostly from the western ranges so they could be easily hidden in box canyons. Taking the beef and hide was what rustlers did for a quick job. One hide had been left behind, and Ben saw where the brand had been altered by what he guessed was a running iron, a straight rod with a curve at the heated end. It was a perfect instrument for altering brands and had been outlawed in some areas.

  The Silent Owls were experts at altering brands, which was why they would drive so many cattle that passed inspections without suspicion. This work was sloppy and dirty. The worst had been the mutilated calves. It was unbelievable someone would sink that low.Ben let out an audible groan. He had not dealt with rustling since his youth and felt overwhelmed and inexperienced. Not only that, but in tracking down cattle he was now falling behind in petty theft cases, feuds between neighbors, and general brawls.

  Shouts of excitement and fear shook Ben back into focus. Nick’s Saloon had a huge crowd all pushing their way to look into the windows, which was a mistake because one of them burst into shards of glass as a huge body rolled out into the street. Jumping through the window was a familiar looking man: tall and lean with a week’s worth of scruff on his face. He was followed by two cowboys Ben knew as Jim and Theodore. Instantly the sheriff ran over.