Corridor Man: Auditor
Page 17
Bonnie answered a minute or two later. As she opened the door she brushed her forehead with the back of her hand. She wore a t-shirt and jeans, held a sponge in one hand and reeked of Pine Sol or some other cleaning compound.
“Oh, God, Dev. I completely forgot. Chrissy picked up the kids and I’ve been cleaning ever since. Nothing like two little boys with bad aim in the bathroom.”
“Keep working if you want, I can come back tomorrow.”
“No, no, but I need to finish the project I’m on. Damn it, then I’ll have to figure what I’m going to do for dinner. You want to come in and watch TV or something?”
“I got a better idea, why don’t I get dinner, one less thing you’ll have to fool with. Just take your time. If you’re still cleaning when I get back don’t worry about it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah, not a problem. Do I need to pick something up for Iggy?”
“Would you mind?”
“No, but I’m just guessing there might be a couple of things he doesn’t eat. Is he a vegan or he only eats roasted cashews or something?”
“Actually, he does have a couple of restrictions. Nothing with honey, it…”
“Honey?”
“Yeah, commercial honey enslaves bees and when you think about it he’s kinda right.”
“Okay,” I said, thinking here we go.
“And if you’re planning on getting any kind of fruit, just make sure it isn’t something that would harm the plant if it’s picked.”
“Is there something he likes? Maybe it would just be easier to go that route.”
“Hot dogs, he eats a lot of hot dogs, an awful lot.”
“Okay, I’ll get him hot dogs. You and I will dine on something a little more elegant.”
“Is this too much of a pain?”
“No, it’s not, and if I’m going to be covering for you while you’re gone a day or two I should probably know this stuff anyway. You hungry for anything special?”
“Just something I don’t have to cook.”
“I’ll be back within the hour. Take your time. If you want to keep working, go ahead. I’ll just watch.” She was wearing some kind of stretch jeans and appeared to have no bra on beneath her t-shirt. I could only hope she’d be scrubbing floors when I returned.
I stopped at a Thai restaurant and got two orders of chicken fried rice to go, plus a starter of chicken on skewers with a satay sauce. I had them toss in an extra container of satay sauce just because I like it. Then I went to the grocery store and picked up a package of hot dogs and a bag of buns for Iggy. God, I felt like I was shopping for a ten-year-old.
I was back in an hour on the dot. Bonnie had left a note on the door. “Dev, I’m in the shower, come on in.”
I presumed she meant come on into the house, not necessarily the shower. I set the bag on the kitchen counter, set the counter for two, then proceeded to boil hot dogs for Iggy and Morton. When the hot dogs were ready I placed Iggy’s on two buns, draped the plate with Saran Wrap and carried it down to the lower level.
I knocked loudly on his door. After some time a muffled voice, sounding a little frightened, asked, “Who, who is it?”
“Hi, Iggy. It’s Dev Haskell, the security specialist. Bonnie’s in the shower and she suggested I cook up some dinner. I’ve got a couple of hot dogs for you.”
“Just just leave them out there by the door.”
“Yeah, okay, no problem. I’ll set them on the stairs, here,” I said, doing exactly that. “Great talking to you, Iggy. Enjoy. Hey, do you need mustard or catsup?”
“I have my own down here, thank you.”
“Okay, catch you later.” I hurried to the upper level, then leaned over the open stairwell and waited. A few minutes later I heard the lock unsnap and the door slowly opened. Iggy took a cautious step outside his room. I could hear the Mylar sheet rustling before I saw him. He had more tinfoil wrapped around his head and wore another pair of latex gloves. He bent down and waved some black device over the food, like he was holding a metal detector or checking for radiation. Apparently satisfied, he picked up the plate, hurried back into his room, then snapped the lock the moment he closed the door.
“What exactly are you doing?” Bonnie asked from behind.
“I just delivered two hot dogs downstairs and I wanted to see what he would do.”
“And?”
“I guess it went okay, at least it seemed to. He waved some sort of box or something over them, then brought them back into his lair.”
“That was the detector he waved over them.”
“The detector. And what, exactly, is it supposed to detect?”
“It sort of changes depending on the day, some days toxic fumes, other days electromagnetic rays, although I’ve never had him turn anything down. So, if he’s eating hot dogs, what did you get for us?”
“I hope you like Thai, I picked up chicken fried rice and some chicken with satay sauce.”
“Perfect. It’s a gorgeous evening, mind if we eat out on the deck?”
“I’d love it.”
“You in any hurry?”
“No, not really.”
“Why don’t we start with a glass of wine. I feel like I’ve been going a mile a minute ever since the kids left.”
“If you have a beer I’d take that, more wine for you.”
“I’ll get the glasses if you’ll grab the wine out of the fridge. There are a couple of whites in there, I think one might already be open. The beer is on the bottom shelf in the back.”
We sat out on the deck enjoying the evening. The picnic table looked home-made and we sat in a couple of aluminum lawn chairs. I actually had two beers, Bonnie finished what had been left of the open bottle of wine. We were just chatting after dinner, largely gossip, when out of the blue she said, “I suppose I should tell you. I think I saw Wayne today.”
“Wayne, your ex? That Wayne?”
“Yeah, it was just as we were loading the kids in the car. Fortunately, they didn’t see him, although J.D. is the only one who might recognize him and I’m not even sure about that.”
“Maybe he just happened to drive past.”
Bonnie looked at me like I was nuts. “This is the sort of street where you’re either lost or you’re going to visit someone who lives here. He wasn’t lost.”
“So you think he was coming to see you?”
“That would be the worst scenario, the best would be he was checking the place out before he came to see me. Not much better than the first scenario. On the other hand, my sister, Chrissy, was here and the two of them have never gotten along.”
“So I should probably keep an eye out. What does he drive?”
“A shinny, red, F-150 pickup truck with flames painted on the hood. Real hard to miss.”
“And you’re sure it was him?”
“Yeah, idiot tried to duck down as he drove past, then he floored it going down the street just in case I didn’t notice.”
“Any idea what he might want?”
“No. Whatever it is, he’s not getting any. I’m reasonably sure he’s up to no good.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“About forty-eight hours after I filed the restraining order. Right after Buddy was born, so call it three years ago.”
“Strange he’d turn up now.”
“Not really, he always had a knack for ruining whatever wonderful event was about to happen. God only knows what I ever saw in him. Hey, how about some dinner?”
Chapter Ten
We’d been asleep for a while. According to the digital clock on Bonnie’s dresser it was almost four in the morning. She had a smile on her face and was breathing heavily, not quite a soft snore but almost. God knows she’d earned it. I studied her for a long moment. She’d left the bathroom light on and closed the door, but the sliver of light escaping was just enough to let me see her clearly. In the past ten years she’d added a star tattoo around her pierced navel, and then below th
at a sort of red ribbon that wrapped all the way around her waist and ended up in a big red bow between her thighs. It sort of gave you the idea you were about to open up a gift, which actually wasn’t too far from the truth.
I heard something bump outside the bedroom and my first thought was Morton, but then he poked me in the back with his cold nose and whined. The noise seemed to be coming from out in the kitchen. I rolled out of bed and pulled on my boxers, thinking maybe Iggy was up raiding the refrigerator. I opened the bedroom door, the house was dark, which probably made Iggy feel right at home. I heard the noise again and quietly made my way down the hall, Morton hung back in the bedroom. I cautiously peeked around the corner into the kitchen area, but couldn’t see anything.
I waited for a bit and was about to head back to bed when I heard the noise again. It was coming from out on the deck, a clicking or something. I made my way toward the sliding door. I remembered Bonnie locking it before we went to bed and then she’d placed a board just behind the door so it wouldn’t be able to slide open. Even if the door was left unlocked no one would get in with the board lying there.
I heard the noise again just as I saw the shadow in the moonlight. It was actually a figure, a guy, leaning down and fiddling with the lock, I think. If he was trying to pick it he wasn’t doing a very good job. As my eyes adjusted I began to make out his features. Long, thinning hair, some sort of tattoo across his neck. He wore cutoff blue jeans and a t-shirt that simply said ‘Grunge’, which somehow seemed to fit. It looked like he was wearing sandals.
I slowly made my way over to the far wall, then got down on all fours and crawled behind the dining room table toward the door. I picked up the board Bonnie had placed behind the sliding door. It was a 2x2, maybe three feet long. The guy was focused on the lock with his back halfway facing me. I slowly pulled the board toward me, then backtracked a foot or two until I was hidden again by the dining room table. I exhaled, then took a deep breath, stood, took three quick steps to the door and flicked the lock, making a loud click.
Just as I pulled the door open ‘Grunge’ said, “Finally.” Then he looked up and his eyes grew wide as I slammed the 2x2 down onto his forehead like I was splitting a piece of wood. He crumpled backwards onto the deck and remained very still. I unbuckled his belt, dragged him over to the deck railing, then wrapped the belt around his ankles and attached it to the railing. At this point he was starting to groan but wasn’t really moving. If he was able to sit up, and that was a big ‘if’ based on the massive egg growing on his forehead, he’d be here for at least a couple of minutes. I stepped back inside, pulled the door closed, locked it, then wandered back to Bonnie’s bedroom. She was still sound asleep and hadn’t moved. Morton had climbed into the bed and stretched out on my side.
I gently shook her shoulder, “Bonnie, wake up. Bonnie.”
She rolled over on her back, said, “Hop on,” and pulled the pillow over her head.
I lifted the pillow and said, “You’ve got a visitor. I think it might be your ex, Wayne.”
Her eyes opened wide and she focused on me. “What?”
“Some idiot was out on the deck attempting to pick the lock on your sliding door and not doing a very good job at it.”
“Did he run away? Where did he go?”
“He’s, ahhh, still out there. At least he was a minute ago. Maybe put something on and you can check him out. I didn’t know if you wanted to call the police.”
“If it’s Wayne I want to push him off the deck,” she growled and rolled out of bed. I pulled on my jeans and a t-shirt. Morton lifted his head for a moment, then went back to sleep.
To be continued…
Amazing as it sounds, things are about to get a lot crazier. Dev’s in need of some assistance and I’m not sure Bonnie’s up to the task. Then there’s Iggy, a real piece of work. You could lend a hand by clicking on the appropriate link below and grabbing a copy of Foiled. Don’t miss the sample of Corridor Man: Auditor a novella on the next page. Thanks!
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