Dom was the first to ride up, giving him a narrowed look and questioning quirked eyebrow. Before he could start interrogating, Joker motioned for them to head down the drive a ways so not to wake up Bella and the kids. This in which, only made the questioning glances worse. Great.
Once they were a good hundred yards away, Dom and Romeo dismounted, walking over to him. “Care to explain why you are sneaking out at this hour looking like you are running from a fugly one nighter?” Dom said gruffly. It was evident that their NCO was not pleased in the slightest, and if he wanted to avoid being stuck on guard duty for the next two deployments, he had better answer very carefully.
“Heather had a bad dream, and wanted me to stay with her. She fell asleep on my arm. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not fall off a twin sized bed? Hell, with all the creepy doll eyes and stuffed animals staring there was no way I could sleep. So, I am going to go crash for a couple hours before work. You guys headed to feed?” He knew good and damn well that's what they were doing, but hoped to deflect the conversation off him.
“And the couch is broken? I have never seen you not take up your normal spot parked on it before. So, that means something is going on.” Leave it to Romeo to call him out. Asshole.
“Bella was asleep on the couch, dickhead. Next time, before you try being all Chris Angel Mind Freak, know the details. I am going to bed.” He turned to walk away, only to be stopped by Dom. Fuck if they weren't relentless!
“One more thing... I know you are having a hard time about Venus...we all are...but I know it hit you harder. Don't do anything to mess up what you have going. I can tell by looking at you lately that you are fucked up, man. Just quit overthinking, and be what they need. She needs you to take care of her.”
Joker looked at the dirt, hoping it held the answers to what Dom had just said. There was no way in hell he could ask if that included making out with his dead best friend's widow or not. Dom must have been the mind reader, because instead of walking back to the horses, he continued. Of course the one man who didn't talk or have emotions wanted to go all therapist on his ass.
“Dude. If it were me, I would want you or one of my team to step in and take care of my wife if the roles were switched. Let what happens, happen. Quit thinking.” Without saying good-bye, or speaking another word, he turned and mounted, nudging the gorgeous buckskin horse to take off in a gallop. Romeo followed, still looking ruffled from the gruff attitude Joker had given moments before.
By the time Joker had chugged a few drinks of whiskey and got into bed, it was almost time to get up. He reached over and turned off his alarm clock, willing to take the ass chewing that was sure to come when he didn't show up and not giving a damn in the slightest bit.
All of the dreams that followed seemed to be telling him something... and happened to be the exact same answer Dom had revealed. Take care of Bella. When he finally woke at a quarter after eleven, his mind was made up. It was his job to step up, and that was exactly what he was going to do... his soul be damned.
Chapter Eleven
Bella had been in a frazzle all morning. She had avoided going to the main house for breakfast and coffee like she normally did, and opted to stay home and hide like a chicken. Fingers crossed, no one would notice. When she didn't show up at noon for lunch, Vince came knocking.
“Hey, girl. So, I was sent by the elders to find out why you are ditching family time.” It had been a given that all of them would gather for meals to sit and talk like the huge family they were, and she usually partook, but had a free ride from time to time when she was having a bad day. Knowing the group as well as she now did, she should have known better. If Joker wasn't with her, someone else would be. They were ruthless, but in a loving, pushy way.
“Oh, I just have had some stuff to do today, that's all.” She turned and started picking up random things the kids had left out, trying her best to keep the conversation casual.
Vince plopped down on the couch and propped his elbows on his knees, resting his chin on his fists. “Or, something is bothering you and you are suddenly interested in finding every last speck of dirt to keep from facing it.” He nailed it. Vince truly was a man of intuition when it came to women. Giving up, she sat beside him and leaned her head over on his shoulder.
“Oh, Vince. I just...I don't know. I can't even say it.”
“Say what, sugar? That something is happening between you and Joker? That he has become the missing piece to your puzzle? Sweetheart, whether it is strictly platonic or if it turns into something else, there is nothing wrong with it. Trust me, I know guys better than anyone. He is probably feeling the same thing, and instead of just talking to you like a normal person, he has to go all macho and try to figure it out alone. Men don't like to be weak. If you are having a hard time, then it is a given he is.”
“How do you know all of this? Is it that obvious to everyone that...” She couldn't say the words.
“A connection? Honey, it is not for anyone to say or think. This is your business. We all just want you both happy, and whatever will be, will be. Stop thinking so much. Just let him be there for you. He needs you as much as you need him. I have seen him wallow in the bottle every night he isn't here with you and the kids. You are his saving grace, Bella doll.” Vince reached over and hugged her.
“Thank you... It is just too much to deal with right now. Jared...and the kids...I mean, what would he think if he looked down and saw how I was acting?”
“He would see that you both were getting through it—together. That is all he could ever hope for. You have to know that Jared would have wanted the best for you. He wouldn't want you falling to pieces and leaving the kids alone. And, he definitely wouldn't want you to be alone and lonely for the rest of your life either. Focus on the big picture, and not each little detail. The world is a better place that way.” He stood, holding his hands out to her. Reluctantly, she took them. After she was standing, he handed her a pair of shoes. “Come on. Mrs. Sanders saved you a plate, and you don't want it to get cold.”
“Okay. Thank you for the talk... You are right. The bigger picture. I have got to learn how to not dwell and ponder so much.” She grinned, happy that she had such amazing friends. “I am starving. What'd she cook today?”
“Beef stew and fresh garlic bread. It was delicious. For once I am glad I haven't found Mr. Hot-and-Sexy yet... the after effects of the garlic are still haunting me! No tongue action for this man, that's for sure!” Bella giggled as they walked to the house together. Vince was always a ray of sunshine, and could turn any bad mood into a rainbow. He had to be the sweetest man on the planet.
****
Joker had started to worry when Bella didn't show for lunch. It was unlike her to skip any of the group time, and after hearing she hadn't made it for breakfast, something had to be wrong...and he had a pretty good idea what. It was time for major damage control. He had a new way of looking at things, and guilt be damned he was going to try it. The others seemed to mind their business even though it was a given they all had discussed it earlier. Vince had piped up and been the first to volunteer to go check on her, which rubbed him wrong but he knew it might be for the best considering. What he didn't expect was him to come back with her, laughing none the less.
Bella came in and greeted the few that remained at the house, stopping at him last. He was nervous as to how it would go down, but kept his shoulders squared and waited. “Hey, Joker. Heather asked where you went this morning. I figured you had work to do or something and told her that you would be there for WII games tonight. You will, won't you?” Her voice lowered shakily, sounding like that of a small child. Joker's heart lurched. Thankfully she wasn't mad.
“Yeah, I had to get up early and get busy. Laying in that tiny little bed with a hundred pairs of eyes watching my every move was creepy. I don't know how she sleeps in there.” He winced. Alaina and Bella giggled, seeing the big ol' soldier was squeamish when it came to cuddly stuffed baby dolls.
�
�I was afraid she kicked you off onto the floor. Sleeping with that kid is misery.”
“There is still no feeling in my arm.” He rubbed the place where her little head had been propped, flashing his sexy little half grin at her. “Of course, I will be there for Mario Cart. I get to be Mario this time though. Skyler always steals him before I get a chance to pick.”
Bella smiled, feeling relief wash over her. She grabbed her plate and joined the others who were parked at the table chatting and joined in. Joker took the seat next to her, and she couldn't have been happier.
Chapter Twelve
Over the course of the next three weeks, Joker had all but moved in with them. From dinner dates to movies and shopping trips, things had changed dramatically. Life was too short to stay trapped as a prisoner of the past, and dwelling on what should and shouldn’t be. There was no denying she still struggled every day with the loss, but now she had the means to live on and not join him at an early grave. After a fun-filled day of mini-golf with the kids and him, then a quiet dinner for just she and Joker, everyone was bunkered down in front of the television watching the latest animated release. Both Heather and Skyler had crashed out early sprawled on the floor, and Bella was feeling the welcoming blanket of sleep creep up on her. She tossed a blanket and pillow to Joker, now assuming he would stay instead of asking. There hadn’t been a single night go by in the past month that he hadn’t slept on the couch, and she expected no less. By day, he was busy training and aiding in the search for other insurgents that would soon be on their list, or working the farm, and his nights were devoted and reserved for them. Bella found herself looking forward to dinner every night where she could see and talk to him. During the days, she passed time with her normal domestic duties, and helped with whatever the ladies at the house needed done. “I am going to hit the sack. You guys wore me out kicking your butts at putt-putt golf.” She grinned, taunting him into a pout. It had become evident early on in the game that golf was not one of his many talents. She had beat him by fourteen points, taking the championship for the night out of the four of them.
“Yeah, I am about snoring myself. Thanks for the blanket. Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite,” he chided in a childish tone.
Bella giggled. “Say your prayers, and don’t stay up too late. It is past your bedtime, mister. Night.” Before she could walk away, he called her back.
“Bella?”
“Yeah?”
“Come here.” His voice had dropped a few octaves, unleashing an uncertainty in her tummy.
Taking slow, unsure steps, she eased back over to stand with her shins almost touching the couch. “What's up?”
“I didn't get a hug good night.”
“Oops.” When she bent down, he pulled her and sat her beside him. “Whoa.” She giggled nervously.
Unsure of her reaction, he dropped his lips down on hers and begged for entrance. This time, she was more reluctant. He slid his hand up to rest along the back of her neck, pulling her closer. He knew she was scared because he was too. There was something almost exciting that encouraged him on, adding to the building rush of excitement. The second she gave in to temptation, he took over. The demand and domination that came forth was unstoppable. He kissed her into a fog so thick he didn't know if he could pull it back. Hard, desperate, and needy, his tongue preformed a dance rhythm with hers, consuming every inch of her deliciousness. With the miniscule drop of control that remained, he slowed his tongue and lips, drifting them both back to earth.
As he pulled away, his hand slid slowly lax down her front and over the hollowness between her breasts. Her body jerked in a shiver shake, despite the pink blotchy flush that colored her pale complexion. With a lopsided smile, he cocked his head slightly in satisfaction. “Mmmm. Now that was a proper good night.”
“Yes, it was.” This time, when Bella spoke, her voice was a low, husky tone. Her lustful glassed eyes made him fist the blanket in one hand to avoid grabbing her and throwing her onto her back and giving her what they both so craved. Instead, he pulled her down on him once more, holding her tight. With his other hand, he ran his fingers through her silky locks, twisting and twirling a strand around his finger. She relaxed into him with her eyes closed, so much so he almost thought she fell asleep. When she finally sat up, the most angelic smile spread across her beautiful features.
“You need to get to bed, sweetheart. If I could, I would keep you like this all night.”
Bella thought about it, but knew neither of them were ready for what she had in mind. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms all night. Just getting that protectiveness was something she so craved, and missed more than anything. Hell, she didn't know if she would ever be ready for it. So for now, she reluctantly hugged him casually and stood up before he talked her out of it...or she did herself. “Good night, Drake. Thank you for such a wonderful evening.”
The anxiety that threatened to build in his chest slipped away. “No, thank you, Bella. You and the kids are all I have ever cared about besides my job. Dream of me.” The saucy little wink he added sent another jolt of heat coursing through her veins.
She turned and walked through the bedroom, leaving the door open a crack for some unknown reason. She had always shut her door every night, but for some reason, whether it was to keep an ear out for the kids, or something she couldn’t put her finger on in her subconscious, she refrained from latching it. Not ten minutes later, she was out like a light.
Jared toss and turned all night. He couldn't get his mind, or his cock, to forget the sweetness from Bella's lips. The hours ticked by. With every passing click, his control slipped. She had awakened the beast inside, and now it was fighting for control. He physically tried to hold himself in place, but finally couldn't any longer. He stood, and his feet led one step at a time toward her room.
By the time he got to her door, there was no turning back. Through the crack, he caught sight of her sprawled out, with one bare leg out of the covers. Blood rushed through his cock painfully, stretching it harder than it had ever been. Thankfully he had on a pair of sweat pants and not jeans, or a hospital visit would surely be in order. He was now past the point of no return. Quietly, he pushed it open and stepped inside, closing it and locking the lock behind him. The few steps over to her bed had his heart pounding in his ears. If she woke up pissed or upset, this could ruin everything. Even with the high stakes on the line, he was willing to risk it all. This high stakes poker game was a straight black and white picture. His heart hoped it would win because the idea of losing her forever was unacceptable and unbearable.
Little by little, he eased into bed beside her, spooning up behind her warm curves. Inch by inch, he slid his arm over her waist and held her, mesmerized and mystified at how wonderful she felt against him. Of all the flings he had in the past, this was so different. Never in his life had he felt like this for a woman. This wasn't just a physical need. He needed her whole heartedly, heart, body, mind, and soul.
Bella snuggled closer to the warmth, basking in the comforting feeling the protective barrier provided. The familiar sensation made her smile. Coasting in and out of a doze, she groggily, half dream, half awake, backed her butt up to fit against his groin. The hard lump that pressed against her crack awoke her libido, leaving her still asleep for the most part. She arched back when it thrust against her invitingly, drawing a tingling ball in her belly that tugged invisible strings attached straight to her clit. Damn that feels so good. It has been a long time…I hate it when he is gone. Yeah, baby. Mmmph. Right there. As the words floated across her mind, they jumbled up and dissipated as fast as they had materialized. New thoughts pushed to the front…hot, sexy new thoughts. Hands rubbing over her body, and lips and nips along her neck and shoulders. Lips crashing down on hers, consuming and demanding. Fingers gliding over her folds, dipping into her sex and massaging her clit like something battery operated. The feeling of being rolled, and the heaviness of someone laying on top of her, pinning her to the bed. The
more the ideas came, the hotter she got. She heard her own soft moans, and felt the masculine muscles under her fingers. She focused on her senses, reveling in the feel and sound of two hearts thumping together as one. When the spicy scent of the outdoors mixed with a sweet, intoxicating smell, it jolted her fully awake in a scare. Jared didn’t smell like that.
Her eyes popped open, staring straight into unfamiliar brown eyes. Just as panic clenched her chest and her automatic self-protection mechanism kicked in, she realized it wasn’t a stranger…it was Joker. Bella froze. As soon as recognition hit, her body melted back against him, wanting to continue the wonderful feelings that had just taken over. Her mind couldn’t think.
He waited, scared to death at what her reaction would be. At the slim chance she wouldn’t slam her fist into his nose, he kept his position firm with one hand propping him up at each side of her face. It took her a long while to put the pieces together, but as soon as they all fell into place, her face warmed in a look he couldn’t quite decode. It wasn’t until a light sparked in the irises of her eyes that twinkled with both amusement and lust that he released a heady breath of relief. He couldn’t help but hesitate, hoping she wouldn’t change her mind but still needing to make sure this was what she wanted. With the quirk of an eyebrow Joker asked silently, feeling his heart stop during the eternal few seconds that it took for her to give the green light. In a sexy little display, she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and narrowed her eyes. That was all he needed. “Oh God, Bella. I have waited a lifetime for this.” He took possession of her hot mouth, demanding entrance with the tip of his tongue along the closed seam. It didn’t take much. She opened willingly, meeting him, thrusting her tongue against his. The kiss was rough, primal, and raw, and exactly what she craved. Heat licked straight to her core with every flick of his tongue against hers. When he thrusted against her, she lost it.
Broken Battlefield, Mended Hearts (Breaking Protocol Series Book 2) Page 14
