Not My First Rodeo 2 Boxed Set

by Donna Alward

  But that was all before Carly.

  For the first time in his life, he was thinking about settling down. He was thinking about building Carly a home and he was thinking what it’d be like to come home to the same woman every night. Him—the one who liked all women and wanted to play the field.

  He had a ring. It was burning a hell of a hole in his pocket.

  He’d had the ring for a couple of weeks now—ever since she’d snapped the cuff on to his wrist and said, “Mine,” and he had realized he really was hers.

  The problem was, if he asked her to marry him, he didn’t know if she would say yes.

  She liked him, he was sure about that. She liked teasing him and torturing him and she loved sleeping with him. But it was more than sex now. He always woke up before she did—rancher hours were a habit that was hard to break—and he saw the look on her face when she pulled herself free of sleep and found him still beside her. It looked a hell of a lot like love.

  But she’d never said the words.

  Not that he was much better. He told her all the time how much he loved what she did to him, how she made him feel—but he’d never told her he loved her, either.

  Time was running out. It was time to man up and accept his fate.

  Carly wasn’t working any other tables tonight. All of her staff had come in. He was her only customer—although he didn’t make a lot of demands on her time. He knew better now. The one time he’d thought it’d be cute to be a demanding customer who kept her hopping, she hadn’t let him come for two weeks.

  Of course, when she’d finally taken pity on him…

  A delicious shudder ran through him.

  Carly saw it. Suddenly, she was standing next to him, her lips twisted off into a half smile. “You doing okay, hon? You…” her voice trailed off and his dick twitched in anticipation. “Behaving yourself?” she finally finished.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He managed to keep from squirming on the bench.

  She patted him on the shoulder and then turned to get back to work.

  Tonight, he decided. He’d tell her that he’d decided to leave Helena and he’d ask her to come with him.

  …

  Something was wrong. Well, Carly corrected, maybe not wrong—but off. Definitely off.

  Every time she looked at Tommy, he seemed nervous about something and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what.

  He was graduating in a couple of weeks. Their time was almost up.

  This thought shouldn’t have made her sad. After all, the last three months had been exactly what they were supposed to be—fun and sexy and so, so good. Tommy had been good for her in ways that she would never have guessed possible.

  She hadn’t realized how much of her sexuality she’d put away after her divorce. But she had. She’d locked that part of her away and convinced herself that she didn’t need it and didn’t want it—only to have a cocky young cowboy show her exactly what she’d been missing.

  They’d made a promise to each other—when it ended, it ended.

  She was okay with that. Really.

  She had to be.

  Because to expect that a guy like Tommy might hang around for someone like her? Yeah, that wasn’t exactly realistic. He was young and he had his whole life ahead of him. She was in her late thirties, and although they never discussed it—they never discussed anything about the future—she wasn’t sure she wanted to have kids this late in life. And Tommy would be great with kids.

  Tommy needed someone his own age. And Carly…

  Well, she had what she needed. She had her job and her house and her security. And if she started dating again, she knew how to get what she wanted without compromising on it.

  So he was going to break up with her. She was going to let him. And they were going to part as friends.

  God, what a depressing thought.

  Normally, Tommy hung out until about nine o’clock, when Carly would send him back to her house to wait for her. If she let him stay around until closing time, he’d start offering to help out. Which was sweet of him, but she wasn’t about to cross the streams like that. And there was no way in hell she was going to hire Tommy.

  But nine o’clock came and went, and Tommy was still sitting in the booth, nursing his beer and looking panicked. Carly didn’t think anyone else would be able to tell, but she could. And the fact that he was nervous was making her nervous.

  It didn’t have to be like this. She didn’t want a big dramatic scene. She would settle for a little closure. That was something she’d never gotten with Drake. There had never been that moment where she could say “the end” and everyone lived happily ever after. She’d just had to deal with the fact that it was over and she’d screwed up and Drake was still out there.

  And now she was going to have to learn to live without Tommy.

  “You’re still here,” she said as she passed by his booth again.

  “I’m still here,” he said, but he didn’t meet her gaze. Then he looked up at her with those beautiful eyes of his, swallowed nervously, and said, “I’ll stay here as long as you let me.”

  Carly came to a full stop and she stared down at him. What were they talking about? Because that was the kind of thing that could pertain to the next half hour or…

  “Go home, Tommy.”

  Tension rippled over his shoulders, but he didn’t say anything else. He slid out of the booth and stood next to her. “I’ll wait up for you,” he said, and he looked like he wanted to touch her.

  This was normally the point of the evening where she would give him some instructions. He should have a bath drawn, waiting for her when she got home or he should be completely naked in the kitchen. Something that promised a good time and a lot of sex.

  But she didn’t. He was acting weird and it was making her jumpy. If he was going to break up with her, she wanted to let him get it over with. No one final hurrah in the sack. A clean break.

  But as he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, he whispered in her ear, “I need to talk to you when you get home,” and a horrible, terrible, wonderful idea occurred to her.

  What if he wasn’t about to dump her?

  The very tips of his fingers skimmed over the back of her hand and then Tommy grabbed his hat and headed out.

  Carly began to shake and she wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like it was a bad thing, was it? If Tommy decided to hang around? Even if it was only for, say, the summer or something? A few more months of Tommy in her bed? That should be a great thing, right?

  Carly cut out early. Her staff could handle the close of the restaurant without her. So she split and raced back to her little house.

  But that was just it, wasn’t it? It was her little house. It was about six hundred square feet—which meant that it was ‘snug’ when Tommy slept over. Which was a very sweet way of saying it was as crowded as hell. If he were going to stay, would he want to move in? Because there wasn’t room for him—not on a full-time basis. And he hadn’t even let her see his apartment—he said he had too many obnoxious roommates and nobody ever cleaned it. So they’d only ever been at her house.

  She had bought this house with her own money. It was hers and no one could take it away from her. Just like her job—she had worked her way up to assistant manager through dedication and determination. No one could take her job away.

  If Tommy wanted to move in with her, well…

  Why was she freaking out? This was not a big deal—no bigger than sleeping with him in the first place, right? This was simply an opportunity to sleep with him some more, wasn’t it?

  That’s not what it felt like. They’d made an agreement, the two of them. When it was done, it was done. They weren’t going to drag it out and there weren’t going to be any big scenes. She wasn’t going to throw a drink in his face and he wasn’t going to try to piss her off so badly that she dumped him. They were adults and that’s how they were going to handle this.

  This did not explain why she sat her car for an extra
five minutes before she walked into the house.

  It only got worse then, because Tommy was pacing in the living room. As much as anyone could pace in this house, that was. But it was clear that she hadn’t been imagining his anxiety in the restaurant. He was nervous and that set her on edge immediately. “Tommy?” she asked as she shut the door behind her.

  He spun, a strange expression on his face that she couldn’t quite read. Which only added fuel to the fire because she’d gotten pretty damned good at reading him over the last three months. “Oh. Good. You’re here,” he said and he tried to grin at her.

  It was not his normal, sly grin.

  “Look, you don’t have to do this,” she said as she walked toward him.

  “Do…what?”

  “We agreed,” she explained patiently, trying to push the panic aside. “When it was done, it’s over. And I know you’re going to graduate soon, so… We’re done.” His mouth dropped open as he stared at her and she began to fidget. “Aren’t we?”

  She watched as Tommy got himself back together. His mouth closed and his shoulders straightened, like he was preparing himself for a fight. Her blood began to pound in her ears. “No, actually—that’s what I wanted to talk to about.”

  He took a deep breath and exhaled.

  Don’t do this.

  But he did. He reached into his jeans’ pocket and pulled out a small black box. “Carly, will you marry me?”

  Her mouth fell open and she stared at him. “What?”

  He opened the little box, and damn it all if there wasn’t a ring in it. The diamond was smaller than her first engagement ring had been and the band was plain. It was exactly the kind of ring a young man without a job would buy. He held it out to her, as if it were proof positive of his intentions. “I’ve thought it out. You can come back to the ranch with me. It’ll take a couple of months to build a house, so we might have to stay with my dad for a while, but it won’t be too bad. I think you’ll get along with my family fine.”

  “But—but—my job?” she sputtered. “My house—everything is here?”

  “You won’t need to work these crazy hours, babe. The ranch does well—I’ll be able to take care of you.” He shot that sweet grin at her and Carly was in such a state of shock that she couldn’t do anything when he lifted his hand and brushed one of her stray hairs out of her face. “I’ve completely fallen for you, Carly. I know we agreed that when it ended, it ended—but I don’t want it to end. Come home with me. Marry me.”

  “You’re serious, aren’t you?” Her heart began to pound and bright pops of blue and green color filled the corners of her vision. Oh no—no, no, no. She pushed back against the panic. She would be damned if she fell apart in front of him now.

  Go home with him? Move out into the middle of nowhere on his ranch with him—and his family? Not have a job anymore—except for the job of cooking and cleaning and caring for him?

  She would be completely at his mercy.

  She backed up from him so quickly that she stumbled. “No.”

  His eyes widened in dawning horror. “No?”

  “No.” The panic wasn’t responding to her commands—nothing was doing what it was supposed to right now. Not her body, not Tommy. Before she even knew what she was saying, she lashed out. “You don’t get it, do you? You weren’t supposed to fall in love with me. I’m not in love with you. This is about fun. This is about sex. There’s no way in hell I would follow you out to your ranch.”

  He recoiled as if she’d stabbed him. “What?”

  And for a moment, she felt bad. Because she lied. She might’ve fallen for him, too. But she wasn’t going to let something stupid like love destroy her life for the second time. “I’m not going to give up my job and my house and everything I’ve fought for because of you. I’m never going to be in a position where I’m at a man’s mercy ever again. We are done, Tommy. The end.”

  The words hung in the air, but she couldn’t take them back. She’d said yes to a man she shouldn’t have once already and it’d nearly ruined her life. She couldn’t risk everything again.

  “Carly—wait.” He lurched forward, trying to grab her hand, but she spun out of his grasp. “Baby, please—let me—”

  “Stop,” she spat out. “I said stop.”

  His mouth hung open and he looked like he’d seen a ghost—a whole herd of ghosts. But he stopped. He took a step back and looked like he might cry. And that was the worst thing of all. “Is that—is that what you want?” He swallowed and tried to stand straighter, but he didn’t make it. “I thought…I thought I was enough for you. I thought I was what you wanted.”

  Those words seemed to hover out of the past. Maybe they were surrounded by ghosts.

  She softened. He was so young—he simply didn’t understand how broken she was. Maybe that was her fault—she’d never told him. Because this wasn’t supposed to be serious.

  Her gaze fell to his hand—his wrist. To the cuff she’d put on him. Mine.

  But he wasn’t. And she couldn’t lay claim to him anymore. “I’m too old for you,” she told him, trying to be gentle about it. “You’re going to find someone who can keep up with you, who’ll settle down on the ranch with you and have a bunch of kids.”

  “I already found someone,” he protested. “You.”

  Unexpectedly, her eyes began to sting, but she pushed back against the tears. She wouldn’t cry. She didn’t allow herself to cry over a man anymore.

  “If you don’t want to go out to the ranch, that’s okay, too. I can get a job here. We can still be together, babe.” His voice cracked on that last bit. “I don’t care about any of the rest of it. I just want you.”

  She shook her head and focused on her breathing. In, count to four, out. “You wanted a fantasy and I wanted…” In, count to four, out. She couldn’t let him ruin his life because he thought he loved her. She had to make him leave. “I wanted to feel desirable again. And you gave that to me, Tommy. You made me strong again. I’ll never forget that.”

  “Carly,” he started again.

  She cut him off. “You’re going to have a great life, Tommy. But not with me.”

  “No,” he said, his voice little more than a whisper.

  “Yes,” she replied, more strongly than she felt, because honestly, she didn’t know how long she’d be able to hold out against him. “It’s over. Goodbye, hon.” She pointed to the door.

  He did not walk away. Instead, he stepped in close and roughly pulled her against his chest. Then he kissed her. It wasn’t sweet and it wasn’t tentative—it was hot and possessive and more than enough to make her weaken.

  Was she really doing this? Was she—what? Kicking him out? Because he’d had the nerve to fall in love with her?

  He pulled back and stared down into her eyes. She thought for a moment that he was going to try to convince her to change her mind again, but instead he shoved the small ring box into her hand. “Keep it,” he told her.

  “I can’t.”

  He gave her a look that was so hot it almost scalded her. “Age is just a damned number, Carly. I don’t know what he did to you, but I’d never lock you up and throw away the key. I would never hurt you. Ever.”

  She flinched at the mention of her ex. “I know, but it has to be this way. Don’t you see that?” She held the ring box back out to him. “This is yours. You take it.”

  “No,” he said, defying her. “It’s yours. Just like I am.” He turned around and started to leave and she almost, almost called him back. But before she could, he stopped, his hand on the front door knob, and looked back at her. “You change your mind, you know how to find me.”

  Then he opened the door, walked out, and quietly closed the door behind him.

  She looked down at the small ring, nestled in black velvet. Up close, she could see there was script on one side of the band. She pried the ring out and tilted it until the words came into focus.

  Yours until the end.

  Oh God.

 
This was the end.

  Carly broke down and sobbed.

  Chapter Ten

  This was going to be one long summer. Tommy had to contend with his father, his father’s fiancé, Karen, their wedding, and the everyday grind of being a cattle rancher during the summer. Not that he minded. Because he didn’t.

  He got up at four in the morning to work cattle and then spent his afternoons cleaning out the barn and planting flowers at Karen’s direction so that they’d have a beautiful backdrop for their wedding in another month. And when he wasn’t doing that, he was updating the family house.

  His father and Karen had decided to move closer to Butte. Mack Tucker wasn’t leaving his ranch, but by living on the far western side of it, they only had about a twenty-minute drive into town. Karen had sold her florist shop in Billings and opened one in Butte.

  Which meant Tommy was going to live in the house he’d grown up in. All by himself.

  He didn’t have time to be bothered by this. He was too damned busy. Which was good because the moment he was not busy, his thoughts turned right back to Carly.

  He still wore her leather cuff on his wrist. He only took it off to shower.

  He’d gotten Karen’s permission to send a wedding invitation to “a friend,” as he put it. Karen hadn’t said anything when he’d given her Carly’s name and address.

  She probably wouldn’t show up. She hadn’t RSVPed.

  Of course, she hadn’t sent the invitation back, either. For all he knew, she’d thrown the damn thing right into the trash.

  Which was fine. She’d said stop, after all. And as much as Tommy didn’t want to stop, he couldn’t force her do anything against her wishes.

  So he worked. He worked from before dawn until after sunset every day for a month.

  Two weeks before the wedding, though, Tommy was thinking maybe he needed a break. He missed the hell out of Carly. In his weaker moments, he came awfully close to climbing into his truck and driving up to Peachtree’s in Helena, just to sit in his old booth and see her again. But his father had raised him to respect a woman’s wishes, so he stayed home and worked more cattle.