Limerence: Book Three of The Cure (Omnibus Edition)

by Charlotte McConaghy

  My mouth falls open.

  “So it was a real trial, having to spend time with her. She whined day and night and was basically the most sarcastic person you could ever meet. But I took it upon myself to show her the ropes and, being the endlessly talented teacher that I am, she eventually managed to become halfway useful for the occasional task or two.”

  “Aww,” I mutter. Luke is laughing again so I squeeze him tighter in warning.

  Pace grins. “So, being that she’s useless, and not the sharpest tool in the shed and let’s face it, she’s not great to look at either—”

  Hilarious. She’s really got them rolling in the aisles now.

  “—it’s a lucky thing that our girl happens to have a heart too big for her body.” Pace looks at me properly. “This heart of hers is big enough to protect the rest of her body. It makes her tough as nails but it also protects other people’s bodies and makes them tough too. It’s a heart that really, really loves. God, she loves so much and so well it’s like she made up the ability and showed it to the rest of us mere mortals, and it’s actually kinda sickening when you put it that way but no less true. Her friendship changed my life. And Luke’s not too bad either.”

  Pace immediately skulls her wine cup and applause erupts. I’m getting misty-eyed. “Thank you,” I mouth to her but she just rolls her eyes and jumps down.

  Dodge stands up wearing his thick glasses and squinting because they’re meant to be for reading. I’m surprised he emerged from his dark little lab for the occasion. “Josi really likes books,” he says. “One of the first conversations we ever had was when she quoted Brave New World to me, and said she wanted to live nasty. Well, Josi – I think you’ve done it. Getting married in the sewers is about as nasty as you can get! Cheers to that!”

  “Cheers!”

  “We got married on a sea cliff,” Luke points out peevishly. “It was romantic.”

  Blue stands up and my eyebrows arch in surprise. He’s such a jerk I never thought he’d have anything nice to say about anyone. “My toast is to Luke,” he says. “I mean, it’s for you too, Dual, I guess, but yeah, mainly to Luke.”

  I can’t help grinning. At least he’s consistent with his dislike for me.

  “Luke, man. You’re just the best.” Everyone laughs, and Blue spreads his hands. “Seriously, though. Who here could say otherwise? The guy beat me to a pulp and I still think he’s the best! For the record, I deserved it that day—”

  “And every day!” someone shouts.

  “But like, yeah,” he goes on, rubbing the back of his neck. “Shit hits the fan and you deal with it, man. You know what to do. You save the day. You’re the one we all want around. We’d be up shit creek without you.”

  “How eloquent.” Luke grins. “Thanks, man!”

  Next is Tobias, and since he can’t climb up onto the table he stands before it, the cup in his hand shaking only slightly. He doesn’t say anything for a while, perhaps gathering his thoughts, and we all wait quietly. I try to prepare myself but I’m starting to feel alarmingly emotional.

  “My boy was born during a storm,” Tobias says. His voice is soft so we all shuffle in closer, holding our breaths to hear. “One of the worst in recent history. Trees came down and roads were flooded. The power went out in the hospital right as Claire was giving birth. This still, silent little baby came out in the dark, with only the sound of the rain lashing against the windows for company. He didn’t make a sound, and he didn’t move, and I remember the moment I had the thought: that my little fella had died.”

  Luke goes stiff in my arms and I know he’s never heard this story before.

  “And then something astonishing happened. The storm ended abruptly. The raging winds and rain stopped as though a switch had been flicked. And this tiny baby took a huge lungful of air and screamed with bright, brilliant life.”

  There are goosebumps all over my skin.

  “I knew what had happened, clear as day. The storm had found its way into the spirit of my son,” Tobias says. “It never left him, that storm. It has given him courage and strength and passion. It gave him a mind with more curiosity than any I know. So it’s more fitting than I can say that it found its way back into the sky tonight, that it might be shared with the woman he loves. You, Josephine, have earned that storm, because where it taught Luke to be brave and strong and passionate, you have taught him to be sweet and humble and generous. You have taught him to be a man. I won’t say welcome to the family because you’re already part of it. I will just say to you, my precious storm-boy, and you, my darling daughter, be kind to each other and you will share an extraordinary life.”

  I close my eyes and turn my mouth to Luke’s cheek. I hold him so tight. The salt of his tears smudges my lips. Tobias makes his way to us and we both hug him.

  “Thank you,” I say. “So much.”

  We need a recovery break but there’s no respite. Next to jump up onto the table is Will, and I’m not sure I can take any more.

  “You okay?” I whisper in Luke’s ear.

  “Better than. You?”

  “Much better.”

  “I don’t have an amazing speech like that or anything,” Will says shyly. “I just wanted to explain the painting.”

  We all turn to the picture behind him. He has painted the ocean again, but this time it is specked through with gold and silver, and instead of depicting a red throbbing heart at its center, Will has painted two ethereal figures whose edges dissolve into the wild waters and into each other. Fingers scatter apart and together in the other’s hand. The girl’s long hair twists into the man’s head. Their feet burst into water and form once more inside each other. The couple is the sea, they have come from it and go back to it together. Lit by the fairy-lights, it’s glorious and mesmerizing and it might be my favorite thing in the world.

  “So Josi watches the sea any chance she can get,” Will says. “And when she can’t watch the sea she watches my paintings of it. I asked her a while ago what she likes so much about it and she said she had no idea. So I just kinda kept watching her and one day when she didn’t know I could hear her she said something, and no doubt it’s a quote from something.”

  My face goes beet red with embarrassment as I realize what he’s about to say.

  “Under her breath she said, ‘It seems big enough to contain everything anyone could ever feel’.”

  Everyone turns to me. I clear my throat and nod. “Yep, it’s Anthony Doerr.”

  Will grins. “Anyway it made so much sense, why she’d love it. ’Cause that’s who she is. She fights for our right to know our hearts. For our right to be like the sea: full of feeling.”

  As the people in the tunnel applaud I smile and meet Will’s blue eyes. He smiles back at me and I feel a rope tied between us, connecting me to my dear friend.

  “One more quick thing,” he adds apologetically. Into the hush he says, more softly, “My best friend Hal used to say that we all have a wilderness inside us, and some of us live more deeply within it than others. He said we have animal hearts and that these animals need to be tamed. When I met the two of you I knew you both lived very deep within your wilds, while your animals dwelled close to the surface. It’s not an obvious thing, but an innate one. I’d never seen two people more the same in that way. And I’ve watched time and again how when either one of you goes too deep and gets lost, the other will go in after you. You’ll find each other in the deep wild, no matter what. I don’t know much about love, but I think that must be what it means.”

  I go to the table so I can hug Will. I hug him so tight and forget not to cry. He laughs and hugs me back, and then he hugs Luke too.

  “I thought you said you didn’t have an amazing speech, you filthy little liar!” Luke says gruffly, tucking the boy under his arm.

  “Okay, no more,” I laugh. “I’m mortifyingly vulnerable.”

  “One more!” Henrietta says, waltzing her way onto the table. “I’ve been given the job of speaking on behalf
of all us kids. None of us have any family anymore, not really, anyway. But the two of you, and everyone else in these tunnels, you’ve given us a family and a home and we won’t ever have a way to say thank you for that. It’s, like, bigger than words. You make us feel safe and that’s sort of a miracle in this messed up world. Also you’re both crazy hot so this makes sense, the getting married and all, it’s only weird that it took you so long.”

  Luke and I laugh. “Thanks, Hen,” I grin, giving her a kiss. “Thank you all,” I tell the group of kids gathered to the side. They salute us. I look for Zach but he’s not here, which makes me feel a little bad. I haven’t spoken to him much in the time he’s been here – in fact I don’t think anyone has spoken to him much. We’ve been waiting for his father to demand his return but Shay’s shown no such desire.

  “Okay, now we must be finished,” I announce, pulling my thoughts back to where they should be. “Right?”

  “Actually …” Luke says. He climbs onto the table, surveys the crowd and shakes his head. “I feel way too high up here.”

  “That’s because you’re about eight feet tall,” Eric tells him.

  Luke jumps onto the ground and looks at me. Oh dear. Were we supposed to make up speeches? Because I can’t do speeches. Claire arrives at my side and links arms with me, perhaps knowing I might need someone close for this. I glance at Shadow, but he’s not looking at me. I can’t even tell if he’s listening, his eyes cast off somewhere distant.

  I turn back to my husband (husband!). He takes a deep breath and tilts his head a little.

  “You don’t have to!” I blurt. “It’s all been enough—”

  “Be quiet and listen,” he orders. “I promise I’ll be quick because I know how uncomfortable sentiment makes you.”

  I sigh and wave for him to go ahead.

  “First, thank you all so much. You’ve been incredibly generous tonight, and we’re very lucky to have every one of you. If any of you are thinking about getting married, I highly recommend it, ’cause it’s a great excuse to have everyone say really nice things about you. Actually, maybe we should make it a weekly occurrence. Hell, everyone should get married – even to themselves – and we’ll all just gather around and sing their praises.”

  The laughter picks up. God, they love him. Something in the air just vibrates when Luke is in the spotlight. Something in everyone expands a little.

  He waits for the laughter to die down, something difficult coming over his face. “When we lost my brother,” Luke says, “I gave up on life. My heart felt brittle and ugly. I’d spent my childhood searching for things, trying to understand things, and adoring my older brother. I was frightened he’d leave me and then one day he did. I stopped searching and questioning. I stopped pulling things apart just to see how they worked. I stopped looking for any kind of answers because the world no longer held any beauty for me to discover.”

  He pauses and I see him swallow.

  My heart is beating so fast and I want him in my arms, I want to touch him, I hate this five-meter distance between us and I’m a bit scared of his next words.

  “And then you,” he says so softly, eyes on me. “You, my darling.” He lifts a hand to his heart as though it hurts. “You appeared, and the world surprised me with its grace.”

  Claire squeezes me and Luke goes blurry because I’m crying again. I dash the tears away so I can keep hold of his green gaze.

  He smiles. “Life had never seemed more curious to me, or more beautiful. So this is what I want to say to you, Josephine Luquet. Thank you. Thank you for being my best friend, my family, my inspiration and my guide. Thank you for offering me the privilege of loving you.”

  I drop my face into my hands and weep. I can’t help it, I have no control of myself anymore. Everyone’s crying – I can hear sobs and sniffles and sweet murmurs. And then Luke is here and he’s lifting my face so he can kiss me and wrap his arms around me. I was so, so foolish to think I needed more than what I have. I have an embarrassment of riches. I have more than any one person deserves. I have Luke Townsend, and that is the miracle to end all miracles.

  *

  After that we dance again. The music is slower now, and I dance with Luke like couples used to dance once upon a time. I think of Elgar again, but now I know I can do it. I can’t make speeches, I can’t put into words what I feel for him, but I can play it. I can give him the song that means the most to me.

  I’m thinking that when Shadow appears. He clears his throat and we both look at him. “About time,” Luke says, then hands me over to my father.

  Shadow still has his crutch to lean on, and we awkwardly come together to dance in a slow shuffle barely more than a sway. “Congratulations,” he says.

  “Thanks. How are you feeling?”

  He grunts, which I guess means okay.

  Feeling emotionally overwrought is the only excuse I can think of for what I say next. “I understand about life’s wounds. So whatever you are and aren’t capable of, it’s okay. You’re my father and I love you regardless.”

  I look up into his face but I can’t read his expression. Something tenses in him, something pained and broken. I have no idea what happened when I was born, or how it came to be that I was left on my own. I don’t know why I never had him, or any parent, but it doesn’t matter.

  Phillipe closes his eyes. He pulls me into his embrace and I rest my head on his shoulder. “My girl,” he murmurs into my hair.

  It’s enough to give me the courage to find my cello.

  But I don’t get the chance.

  “Help!”

  We whirl at the sound of the voice. It’s Alo. He is pale faced and terrified. “Help!” he screams again.

  I sprint to him. “What?”

  “The others – we were messing around and something – ah shit, something happened – just come!”

  We launch after the boy as he sprints through the tunnels.

  “What happened, mate?” Luke asks him as we run.

  “We snuck back to the cliff,” Alo pants. “We just wanted to see it again, and we were messing around and Malia fell.”

  Oh god. We start running much faster. Luke takes off ahead. I find the presence of mind to tell Will to go to the storeroom for climbing gear and first aid equipment. He and Pace dash off together.

  “Is she alive, Alo?” I ask.

  “She was but Lawrence was trying to hold her and I dunno how long he could last … You have to hurry, please.”

  “We’ll get her,” I promise, but in my head I’m thinking it’s a very high cliff and it’s probably taken him at least thirty minutes to get back to us.

  When I arrive Luke is kneeling at the edge of the tunnel. I pull up beside him and look down. The rain is still falling heavily and at first I can’t see anything in the dark. But then I spot her. About halfway down on a small ledge, a crumpled body. And the ledge is unstable, moving inch by inch, ready to crumble from the cliff-face and drop Malia to her death. If she isn’t already dead.

  “I had her,” Lawrence babbles. “I had her hand but it’s so wet and I couldn’t hold her and she slipped.”

  “It’s okay,” I tell him quickly. “It’s okay. It’s not that far, I’m sure she’s still alive.”

  “The fucking cliff is crumbling!” Henrietta sobs.

  Teddy has his hands over his face, unable to look, shoulders heaving.

  “I’ll climb down,” Coin is saying. Malia is his girlfriend, after all. There’s a ferocious determination in him, one I can see will get him killed. “I can do it. I’ll get her.”

  “Don’t you move,” Luke orders him.

  I share a look with my husband. “I’ll go,” I say. His hand is too damaged to be reliable. Plus I’m much lighter than he is, and if someone has to get onto that ledge beside the girl it can’t be anyone as heavy as Luke.

  “Wait for the gear.”

  “No time.” The ledge lurches under Malia’s weight, tipping her perilously close to the edge. I don’t t
hink anymore. I go.

  I can hear a crowd of people behind me shouting and crying but I shut it out and disappear over the drop. I’ve never done this climb without ropes, I’ve never done it in the rain. The surfaces are slippery and moving as I make my way inch by inch down the cliff-face. I put my foot there and the earth disappears beneath it. I grab for a rock and my fingers slip straight off it. Breathing deeply, I pause and close my eyes. I can’t see shit anyway, so I start moving again with only my hands and feet to feel the way. I concentrate on the shapes and lines of the cliff, placing weight carefully and waiting a moment to make sure each step is solid.

  With the rain lashing painfully at my face I reach the space directly above the ledge. “Malia,” I call.

  She doesn’t move. I edge down, placing one foot on the crumbling rock surface. It takes my weight and then shudders down a few meters. My heart lurches but the earth stops, thankfully. I move very slowly to where she’s lying.

  “Malia, wake up, sweetheart.” My fingers on her neck manage to find a strong pulse. I’m hoping she was just knocked out from the fall and there’s nothing broken in her spine. “Malia.” I slap her cheek lightly and she stirs. “Shhh, don’t move.”

  She moans and turns her head and starts to rise.

  “Don’t move, Malia.”

  She freezes as my words reach her.

  “Good girl. You’re okay.”

  “Where am I?” she whimpers.

  “You fell down the cliff and you’re fine, but we need to move very, very slowly now. I want you to roll onto your side. Keep your weight spread out – don’t lift your head or feet. Okay?”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why? Are you hurt?”

  “No, I just can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. Keep your eyes closed and roll very slowly toward me.”

  With a sob she starts to roll.

  “Slower.”

  Malia whimpers but manages to do as I say. When she’s close I turn and find the best hand and feet holds I can. I need rope but a glance up tells me the gear hasn’t arrived yet. I search for something to hold onto and feel a smooth, raised thing in the earth. Quickly I dig into its edges and discover the tree root. I manage to jam my hand painfully beneath it until I’m pinned to the cliff. Next I dig in the toes of my boots until they feel deep enough to hold me.