Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  “Definitely,” I agreed. “Should we go books or magazines this week?”

  “I’m thinking magazines. We need to get some good ideas on what to do for your birthday next week. Aren’t you excited?! You’re going to be sixteen! I bet your parents are going to give you a car! What do you think?” Mel squealed; she tends to ramble when she gets excited. I don’t mind though. It’s part of her charm.

  “Umm… I guess. And I’m not sure what they’re getting me. They’ve been acting sort of weird lately. My dad has been home a lot more and my mom is just, well, I don’t know. Something is off with them.” I had made this observation over the past few days but questioned myself since I had a tendency to overanalyze things. Perhaps they were simply nervous about how fast I was growing up. It must be hard on a parent. And to make matters worse, I would be of the legal age to drive. My mother had always been keyed up to teach me but my dad was scared silly over the whole idea; he looked ready to have a heart attack the first time we mentioned it.

  As we continued to walk, browsing the magazines, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of him. I could still picture his face as if he were right in front of me; his eyes piercing me like beautiful green daggers. I could still see the red iPod nano engulfing his buff bicep; the two together depicted his strength and withdrawal perfectly. I felt obsessive almost in the way my mind could so easily and perfectly recall him after only one day. That immediately turned to guilt when I saw the car magazine Mike was addicted to.

  “Lex?” Mel had stopped and was openly studying me, a few tiny creases present in her forehead.

  “Yea? Sorry,” I mumbled.

  She rolled her eyes. “What do you think is up with them? You think they could be planning something?” she repeated, slowing her speech to ensure I caught her questions entirely.

  “Um, I don’t know. They haven’t been secretive that I’ve noticed just overbearing in some ways. It’s nothing close to your mom but more than usual.” I shrugged and sighed, “Oh well. I guess I’ll find out soon enough. I only have a week as of tomorrow.”

  “True. So what do you want to do next Friday?” I paused to think a bit as we continued to browse the magazine racks. I took too long apparently because Mel began rambling again. “I still can’t believe you aren’t having a sweet sixteen party! I mean your parents have money. It could be awesome. And not just awesome-awesome but like party of the century awesome! We could always do a belated sweet sixteen party though. What do you think?”

  “Are you serious?” I half checked and half scoffed.

  “Of course I’m serious! You only turn sixteen once. That and I still have another five months till my birthday. So for now I just have to live vicariously through you,” she smiled and pranced about as she spoke the words with a matter-of-fact sarcasm.

  “Mel, when have you ever seen me go to a party in the last five years let alone throw one?”

  “See, you’re long overdue. And I’m sure if you agreed to it me and your mom could plan it all out. You wouldn’t have to do anything but show up.”

  “Thanks but I think I’ll pass.”

  “You’re such a buzz kill sometimes,” she pouted.

  “Yea, yea. Talk to me in five months when it’s time for your party. Have you given it any thought yet Miss ‘I always plan ahead’?”

  “I’ve tossed a few ideas around, but until my mom nails down the budget I’ve got nothing but air to work with.”

  We picked up a few fashion magazines and walked back to the café. We settled into our usual table against the wall closest to the counter. Mel could never keep quiet for long; I was surprised she lasted the entire drive without a peep. So it didn’t shock me when the magazines became the background to our conversation.

  “Okay. So back track for me and re-explain why you think your parents are being weird on you.”

  “I don’t know. They’re just off,” I shrugged continuing to flip the pages of Teen Vogue on the table in front of me.

  “Off like how? Like in a weird-you-out kind of way or in a ‘oh our baby’s growing up’ way?” She tried to clarify, but I was lost on an exact description.

  “Sort of both I suppose. My mom has been looking at me with this gleam in her eyes lately as if she’s anticipating something. That could be because I’m turning sixteen and she still wishes I was six though. And my dad, well he’s weird to begin with, but he’s been home a lot more. Oh and last night he gave me a hug before bed but he didn’t let go for like five minutes. I had to practically pry him off of me. Saying it out loud though I guess that could be in line with how old I’m going to be too.” I sighed and stared into space for a moment to rethink their actions over the past few days. They were different versus what was considered normal in our home, but not so far off base that I should have been suspicious of anything drastic to surprise me. They both shared the expectant gleam in their stares though and that slight fear of my impending birthday I’m guessing.

  “Come to think of it, they are acting like I am going to turn sixteen and move out or leave them. Or maybe they’re planning to send me away. Oh! I never thought about that. Gran sent my mom away for a year when she turned sixteen; she sent her off to boarding school somewhere. You don’t think they would do that to me too do you?” Suddenly I was choking with alarm. Could it be possible? Would they really send their only daughter away to boarding school? I’d been such a good child in comparison to my classmates. I never whined or asked for anything above a weekly Barnes and Noble visit. I was open regarding my activities and life events. I talked to my mom instead of hiding away in seclusion like most teenage girls.

  “Calm down Lex. I’m sure you’re overreacting. Your parents wouldn’t send you away. These are different times than the one your mom grew up in. I don’t even know of any boarding schools that still exist. Plus you’re their only daughter and no offense but you’re so not cut out for the whole Catholic school from afar thing.” She must have seen the worry lines that covered my forehead because she quickly added, “Ok. So maybe they could send you off to boarding school but I really don’t think they will. And if they do then I will personally harass them every single day until they bring you back.” She shuddered. “I don’t even want to think about life here without you!”

  “Thanks.” I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of it.

  I flipped through a few more pages sipping my coffee frappuccino between glances. It took me a moment of utter silence to recognize the strange feeling that came over me. It felt like someone was watching me. I looked up and scanned the nearby tables but found nothing out of the ordinary. There were no wondering eyes in our direction. I quickly gave up and returned to my fashion guide.

  “That new kid is so strange,” Mel interrupted.

  “Who are you talking about?” I asked while shaking my head in confusion.

  “The new kid. You know the one from Spanish class. He’s sitting over there in the corner.” She tilted her head with a quick nod in his direction.

  I turned to look at him and immediately blushed. It was the same guy from the hall and English who, as Mel just pointed out, also shared Spanish class with us. It was the one who’d haunted my mind randomly throughout the day and even moments ago. He was a quiet guy from the little I’d observed; he didn’t interact with any of the other kids, and aside from the whole tortured soul vibe, he was a good-looking guy. He stood at nearly six feet with dark brown hair. His eyes, again, the same bright green as my mother’s, though hers hinted towards hazel and his were more emerald. His jaw was taught and sharp in angle but not offensive or too direct. There was just something about him that drew me to him; something about him that I couldn’t shake or resist.

  I started drifting into a daydream while my eyes lay fixated on him. He must have felt my gaze because he lifted his head and peered directly at me. There was no hesitation in his move as if he had a sixth sense. After one second of a locked glance I returned to Mel.

  “Yea. He’s definitely weir
d,” Mel mumbled.

  “Maybe he’s just shy. It’s his first week; cut him some slack,” I offered. I couldn’t believe I was defending him. I didn’t even know him, hadn’t even said so much as ‘hi,’ and was already speaking for him. Where was this coming from?

  “Whoa. Someone’s a little touchy. Could that be because you have a crush?”

  “Um... I don’t think so,” I replied laying the sarcasm on thick to throw her off the trail. Truthfully, he was attractive but I didn’t know him. All I knew was that he was gorgeous; he’s weird yet alluring. Regardless, I had a boyfriend and Mel knew that.

  “What is he doing? Is he really coming over here?” Mel interjected in a rushed whisper.

  I returned from my mindless thinking just in time to catch him walking towards our table. It was a Kodak moment for the expression on Mel’s face. I really wish I could have captured the pure divulgence her eyes depicted. She looked upset, cocky, shocked and shaken while retaining a friendly overlay. It would go unnoticed to the eyes of a stranger, but with me, I uncovered every hidden emotion her controlled glare gave.

  “I have no idea,” I whispered back. He made his way to the table without hesitation greeting us with his eyes and a restrained smile.

  “Hi, I’m Kellan,” he waved slightly as he introduced himself.

  Mel was still unconscious, lost in her daze of shock and confusion, so I politely responded on our behalf. “Hi. I’m Lexi and this is Mel,” I spoke quite confidently…too confident. What’s wrong with me? I usually clammed up around boys; I was shy in their presence. I didn’t even speak to Mike until Mel forced me into the conversation two months after our first introduction.

  “Nice to meet you,” he replied. He studied us as inconspicuously as possible as he stood before us.

  I awkwardly stared at him, and that’s when it happened. I was lost, caught up in his beauty up close. It would only be a matter of time before my throat closed up and my body finally realized that I was talking him, the one dancing in my thoughts.

  I guess Mel snapped out of her momentary fart because I heard her say, “Do you like everything so far?”

  “It’s not too bad, just different. Weather’s nicer here.”

  “Where did you move from?”

  “Seattle.”

  I couldn’t even begin to fathom the look on my face as their conversation continued. I was waiting in terror for the shaking uncertainty to hit me, yet it didn’t. I only survived non-choked conversations with gay men, Mike, and of course my dad; I was comfortable with them. Could it be possible that I was comfortable with this stranger before me? That’s never happened to me before but what else could it be?

  Why was I comfortable with him though? He obviously belonged with the popular crowd based upon his looks, yet he’s much nicer than they were. His eyes, I couldn’t get past his eyes. They were the only thing approachable about him and shined in the same palate as my mom’s. Maybe it’s the relation between the two that controlled my confidence around him.

  “Lexi! Lex, snap out of it!” It took me a several long seconds to realize Mel was speaking to me. I really needed to work on this whole over-rationalization of my thoughts in a daydream type manner.

  “Sorry,” I offered with a quick shrug. I looked up to see Kellan watching me with interest. I felt myself blush and began running my fingers through my long, dark brown hair to avoid direct contact. Mel shook her head slightly with sarcastic disgust before continuing the conversation I obviously missed the majority of.

  “So Lexi can’t seem to decide what she wants to do next weekend. She’s said no to a party.” She was quick to cut me slowly and dramatically with her eyes before resuming. “I personally think a party is an awesome idea, but to each their own.”

  “Oh my gosh. You are so not going to let go of this thing are you?”

  “Nope,” she taunted with over exaggeration of the ‘p’.

  I sighed in defeat. “I’ll consider it.”

  “Well good luck with planning everything. It was nice talking to you both. Have a good night.”

  With that Kellan gave a quick nod and walked away. As he drifted away from us I couldn’t help but stare again. His form was ideal with each stride as his body emulated a model’s performance. He’s proportioned in a magnificent way. No part of his figure was out of balance like mine, and his voice just melted away every layer of protection surrounding me. It was masculine, slightly husky but still soft and melodic; it’s soothing yet manly. A soothing voice coming from a mouth of pearly white teeth and pouted lips that weren’t too big and weren’t too small.

  Snap out of it Lexi! I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Here I was daydreaming of a guy I didn’t even have a chance with not only because he was ten times better than Jason in every way, but because I already had a boyfriend. That’s when it hit me. Maybe he liked Mel. That had to be it; he must have found her attractive. Why else would he have approached us here? I couldn’t blame him. She is beautiful. Long blonde hair, a golden tan and brown eyes upon a petite girly frame. If she wasn’t my best friend I would be jealous with hate towards her.

  “Attention Barnes & Noble customers. The store will be closing in approximately thirty minutes,” Sam announced over the intercom.

  “I suppose that’s my cue to call my dad.” I reached for my phone prepared to dial but was prompted to answer. “I guess he beat me to it,” I announced. “Hey Dad.”

  “I’m outside waiting when you girls are ready,” he answered rhetorically though I hadn’t asked any questions.

  “Um, ok. We’ll be out in a minute.” I closed the phone with a confused scrunch on my face.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Well, it’s like I said earlier, they’re just acting weird. My dad is already outside waiting for us. He said we don’t have to rush but…” I trailed off.

  “Stop overreacting. Nothing’s up. Let’s just go. We need our beauty sleep anyways.”

  “Yea, you’re probably right. Let’s go.”

  ~~~

  “How was your night?” my mother asked as soon as I walked through the garage door.

  “It was good. Met a new kid from school,” I shrugged as I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

  “Oh,” she instantly perked up. “What’s his name?”

  “How did you know it was a guy?” I asked. My mother was fidgeting slightly. She never fidgeted. She was the epitome of patience and good manners, which fidgeting was not a part of.

  “Just a lucky guess,” she replied. Again, the feeling that something was off flared within me. “So what is his name?” she prompted again.

  “Kellan.” I studied my mother. She almost appeared nervous which was very unlike her. “Are you ok Mom?”

  “Oh, yes,” she waved it off as nothing with her hand.

  “Um, ok…” I was confused by her behavior. “Uh, I’m going to bed. Night,” I said before giving each of my parents a hug and retiring to my room.

  My phone buzzed right as I crossed the threshold. I didn’t need to check the caller ID to know it was Mike.

  “Hey,” I cheerfully answered, closing my door behind me.

  “Hey babe. Have fun with Mel?”

  “Always. What did you do?” I asked, sifting through my drawers for a pair of pajamas.

  “Laid around and thought of you.”

  “Nothing like laying it on thick,” I chuckled lightly.

  “I’m only speaking the truth,” he continued. I knew he was exaggerating, but it was flattering nonetheless and gave my wilted ego a tiny boost.

  “Give me a sec to change,” I said setting the phone down before he could respond. “Ok, I’m back.”

  “Missed you.”

  I rolled my eyes despite the smile spreading across my face. “You’re going to spoil me with compliments.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “I’m going to go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “’kay. Sweet dreams,” he lulled, his
voice taking on a husky quality.

  “You too.” I closed my phone and plugged it into the charger.

  Mike really was a great boyfriend, but when I closed my eyes, he wasn’t the one I saw, and certainly not the one I dreamed about that night.

  Chapter 3

  “What a crazy night that was last night, right?” Mel chatted on our way to second period - Spanish.

  “Yea.” My thoughts immediately went to Kellan. He’d officially taken over my focus from the moment I woke up. I felt guilty with Mike because another man occupied my mind as we kissed that morning. I couldn’t shake this mysterious stranger. He was taking over my sanity.

  “I wonder if Kellan will talk to us today now that the ice has been broken,” I pondered absently. I was silent in my wonder, but loud enough for her to hear.

  “Ooh, I’ve got a crush on you,” Mel sang reading between the lines of my comment.

  “Oh stop,” I rolled my eyes hoping to discourage her.

  I secretly was hoping he would talk to us again though. He had this lure about him that was unavoidable. I longed for his masculine arms to embrace me and never let go, and I desired the touch of his soft supple lips with their faultless pout in a way that was certainly criminal. I hadn’t craved the touch of a male in, well, never to this degree. The alienation of the guys around me had left me sexually dull and lust-less until Mike stepped in, and, regardless of what any adult says or believes, teens have desires that cannot be subdued or redirected with education. Puberty and peer pressure are only part of it. Given my appearance though, and my label as an outcast, I hadn’t acted on anything; I submerged it deep inside. The most Mike and I had done was kiss. We hadn’t even progressed to groping while kissing.

  As we walked through the door, I instantly scanned the room for him, but he wasn’t there. Amazing how a night of clambering over a person could make you recall the tiny details overlooked every day. I would be lying if I said my heart didn’t sink slightly at this realization.

  Immediately guilt overtook me again. Mike was wonderful with me and treated me like a princess. He didn’t deserve the betrayal I felt I was giving him in some way, though I’d barely spoken to Kellan. I couldn’t help the instinctive attraction I had to him though. I couldn’t help but feel drawn to him. I had yet to decide if this was simply a lust lorded symptom or if there could possibly be more to him, but I knew I couldn’t pursue it without hurting Mike in the process.