Diary of a Vampeen

by Christin Lovell

  “Buenos dias senoritas,” the hostess greeted.

  “Buenos dias. Necessita un mesa para dos, por favor,” I responded, asking for a table for two. She smiled and led us to a booth by a window. This was a quaint restaurant; nothing large or overwhelming in size, but definitely not a hole-in-the-wall joint. It was charming with its adobo flared design. The focal point on the wall opposite the windows was a large framed Mexican flag surrounded by memorabilia and old sepia toned photos.

  Our waiter, Jorge, introduced himself and promptly returned with the two sweet teas we ordered, a southern delicacy I loved. We requested a bowl of queso blanco, the best dip ever, and two virgin margaritas before starting to eat the chips and salsa set at our table. Mel, of course, was the first to speak between bites.

  “So what’s up with you and Mike? I can’t keep up anymore.”

  “I honestly don’t know. One minute we’re ok and the next we’re balancing on a tight rope. If I’m honest, I just can’t make a solid decision as to whether or not we should really be together right now.” This was all the more true after talking with Kellan and my parents last night. I would have a secret that I couldn’t reveal to him, something that impacted my life greatly, and that automatically put us at a disadvantage without the trust issues.

  “If you’re not one-hundred percent sure about it Lex, then you really shouldn’t be with him. Every relationship hits a rough spot, but you haven’t totally committed yourself to the relationship at any point over the last month. It’s pretty obvious to me that your hearts not in it, so why are you sticking around?”

  “I guess I feel obligated in a way. He was the first guy to acknowledge that I was beautiful in any way, or even acknowledge me period. I think I feel, to a certain degree, that I need to return the favor. He’s done everything he can to embrace me, and I’m trying to do the same for him.”

  “Yea Lex, but it’s just like you said. It’s for him, not for you, and you will never be happy until you’re doing this for yourself. You have to want this, not just settle for it.”

  “Yea. I know you’re right. It’s just… How can I hurt him after all he’s done for me?”

  “You need to take him off this invisible pedestal. All he’s done is give you a few compliments and minor affection to boost your self-esteem. That doesn’t automatically qualify him to be the king of your heart,” she stated as Jorge set down our queso and margaritas.

  “¿Qué le senoritas les gusta comer?” he asked.

  “Mi amiga que como dos tacos de pollo con crema agria, y me gustaría una enchilada de pollo con salsa roja, por favor.”

  “Buenas opciones. Volveré con sus pedidos en un poco,” he stated collecting our menus before walking away.

  “I don’t know what I’d do without your Spanish,” Mel commented.

  “You could manage. This is your second year of Spanish, remember?”

  “High school Spanish doesn’t really count. It’s nothing like living in Spain for a couple years.”

  “Yea.”

  “So what’s going on with you and Bancroft now? No guy stays the night without ulterior motives, regardless of whether or not he knows your parents personally.”

  “Nothing happened. I wasn’t lying there. Honestly, I still feel this intense pull towards him, and, after he opened up to me last night, that feeling has only intensified. We have this invisible bond that surpasses what me and Mike could ever fathom having; I just don’t know quite what to do with it yet. I know Kellan’s presence has played a role in my teeter-tottering with Mike, but I don’t know where Kellan stands with me. Now that I say that though, it’s obvious that I’m just using Mike as a safety net because I don’t want to be alone. Oh my gosh, Mel. I’m horrible! This whole time I didn’t want to hurt Mike, yet now I see I’m doing something far worse. I’m using him and abusing our friendship.” I couldn’t believe I’d been so selfish. Beyond that, I couldn’t believe I’d been so blind to my own selfish behavior. Regardless of where Kellan stood, I knew I had to let Mike go. With my transformation coming up, it was for the best that I figured it out now anyways.

  “Don’t beat yourself up Lex. Nobody’s perfect. I’m glad you figured it out, and now you just have to make it right by telling Mike the truth. You’ll probably feel a huge burden lift off of you when you do it too.”

  “Yea.” I was trying to suppress the impending depression I felt blooming, but struggled.

  “So… your birthday. What did you decide?” Mel prompted clearly trying to yank me from the edge of misery.

  “Ugh,” I groaned. “You can plan a party. But it can’t be this weekend; it needs to be two weekends after.”

  “Yay!” she shouted victoriously. “Not that I want to jinx this, but what made you change your mind?”

  “Apart from your continuous nagging?” She rolled her eyes and I continued. “Sixteen is a big year for a girl and I have a feeling I’m going to be a whole new woman. What better way to introduce the new me than with a party, right?”

  “Definitely!” She began her rant at that moment, random chatter over party locations, themes and guest lists. I knew she would distract herself for a while not needing even a word from me; she tended to answer her own questions in this mode. It gave me time to think though, to reflect on the truth within my words that my best friend didn’t even recognize.

  Just then it dawned on me, the perfect excuse. Sixteen was a huge year for a girl and a surprise birthday vacation wouldn’t be unusual for a family with financial assets like my parents. I could say we’re going to Tahiti or Hawaii – some kind of tropical island get-away with the sun and sand to escape the cold here. I would still have to discuss it with my parents before I used it, but it’s the best idea I had.

  “Lexi. Lex!” Mel interrupted.

  I snapped my head up towards her as the waiter set down our meals. He asked if we needed anything more before excusing himself.

  “What is up with you Lex? You are constantly lost in your world of thought lately. That’s like you sometimes, but it’s been happening a lot lately. I know you’ve had a lot going on with the guys, but talk to me. Is there more that I don’t know about?”

  What do I tell her? What can I tell her? ‘Well, Mel, you see, on my sixteenth birthday I’m going to become a vampeen. That’s a cross between a human and vampire…’ As much as I wanted to dish my fate, I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed. There is a secure vow of silence with this thing. Even if I could divulge she probably wouldn’t believe it fully. Even I didn’t believe it and I had proof with Kellan and my mom.

  Acknowledging my silence, Mel stated, “If you don’t want to talk about it, I’m cool with that. No pressure.”

  “It’s not that,” I sighed. “I just…”

  “Is it about Mike, Kellan, your parents, school…? Is it me? Did I do something?” she asked in a panic.

  “Calm down Mel, you didn’t do anything wrong. I definitely would have told you that. It’s just well, I can’t really talk about it right now.” I decided to stick to the truth. I didn’t want to lie to her unless I had to. I probably would after because there was no other way to explain a dramatic weight loss complete with a new gorgeous body and smooth skin in such a short time. Until that time though, I wanted to stay true to her and the value of our friendship with pure honesty as often as warranted in our discussions, which was surprisingly more difficult with Kellan around.

  “If it’s boy trouble, I can totally help. I do have experience in that field you know,” she reminded as she took a bite out of her food.

  “I know. You’ve already helped me with that since we arrived.” I began picking at my enchilada a bit.

  She sighed dramatically. “So back to the party plans.”

  “Do we really have to do this here?” I complained. “Plus, that is so your venue. I’m creative but I don’t dabble in the whole social exploitation thing like you. Can’t I just give you a wad of cash and free reign to do what you want?”

  “You can�
��t buy me Lex! I can see that your attitude over this event hasn’t changed though so don’t worry about it. I’ll just plan it all with your mom,” she grumbled clearly upset over my view of it all.

  “Sorry Mel. It’s just not my thing, but you should be happy. This means I totally trust you.”

  She lightened up a bit. “Yea, you’re right. I know you trust me with everything, that’s why our friendship works. I just want you to have fun and enjoy yourself. If I do it all without your input, you may not like it.”

  “Mel, you know me better than anyone, probably better than I even know myself. I know I’ll love it!”

  “You better if you know what’s good for you!” she said sternly with a pointed finger. We broke into laughter. I love Mel for her overly animated character. She knows how to make me laugh; she makes me forget about my worries with one line. Of course she also over dramatizes most situations simultaneously. She’s the best friend I could ask for though. She’s never betrayed me. We have our spats, but have never stopped speaking for one day, which again had me sinking into a deep depression.

  We’d never gone a full day without talking yet somehow I had to avoid my best friend for two weeks. I was required to flat out lie to her for the first time. This gut wrenching guilt was already settling in. I was being forced to deceive and abandon my friends, even if just for a short time. Knowing I could never share the truth with them was depressing. Well, no use crying over milk that wasn’t spilled yet, even if it was inevitable.

  “So my mom is dating again,” Mel announced nonchalantly.

  “Are you serious? Who? What do you think about it?”

  “Some random guy she claims to have known for five years. I don’t buy it, but who cares. As long as she is happy and the bastard doesn’t drain her bank account, I’m ok with it.”

  Mel’s mom had done well since her divorce. She received a huge monthly child support check from Mel’s estranged attorney father, but made over six figures a year on her own selling insurance. She’s a brilliant business woman, but an overbearing mother since the divorce.

  “Wow. I can’t believe she’s dating again. Have you met the guy yet?”

  “No. We’re supposed to do a family lunch on Saturday,” she shrugged seeming uncomfortable despite her earlier claim.

  “You are definitely obligated to dish.”

  “Yea,” she whispered, lowering her head in a sulking manner.

  Attempting to distract her, I whittled out more details of my night with Kellan. “So Kellan held my hand on the walk back to the car at the beach.”

  “What?! You held out on me? Hello, dish! What else are you keeping from me?!”

  “Nothing. I just couldn’t say this before because Mike was around. It’s nothing serious though. It was dark and the sand isn’t easy to walk through; plus you know how clumsy I can be sometimes. So Kellan held my hand to make sure I didn’t fall.”

  “O.M.G.!” Mel squealed. “Look at you Lex, going from zero to two guys in less than two months. I told you it would happen eventually. Meanwhile I can’t seem to lock down even one date.”

  “You could if you made yourself available.”

  “I’m available!” she defended.

  “Brandon?” I prompted. “He asked you out religiously for two months and you always told him you were busy.”

  “Well, I had to watch Kyle… and I didn’t want to cancel on you a few times…”

  “Ok, Dillon? He was all over you for six months after Ben. You completely blew him off and literally killed his ego.”

  “That was right after Ben. I was still mourning…”

  “For six months?! Ok, fine. How about Caleb? You two have been passing notes since the start of school and nothing. He’s obviously into you. When a guy says ‘I dig you’, it’s pretty much a done deal. And you said he’s definitely your type, so what gives?” I pressed.

  “I don’t know Lex,” she whined. “I don’t know what’s up with me. I guess I’m just afraid of another Ben or ending up like my parents.”

  “If you ever want to find the right guy, find true love, you’re going to have to take a chance. Yes, you’ll run the risk of getting hurt, but you also stand a chance at romantic bliss,” I consoled.

  “I know. It’s just hard,” she admitted sadly. She lowered her head and began picking at her second taco.

  “Tell me about it.” I took a bite of my now cold enchilada. “Hey. You think your mom would let you stay over tonight?” I asked, wanting to cheer up my suddenly depressed friend.

  “It doesn’t hurt to ask,” she perked up.

  Surprisingly Mel’s mom agreed. Maybe this new guy was good for her. We finished our dinner and ordered two slices of tres leches to go; a midnight snack never killed anyone. My dad picked us up announcing that my mom had a last minute offer to put together for some VIP client. We dropped by Mel’s on the way home for her to grab some clothes.

  “So what do you want to do tonight?” Mel couldn’t contain her excitement upon returning to my dad’s SUV.

  “I don’t know. I’m still shocked that your mom is actually letting you stay over.”

  “I know; so unlike her. But don’t question the hand that feeds you. I’m just going with it.”

  “We could always attempt an all-nighter like in the old days.”

  “Sounds good, but I know when I’m going to lose a battle. I’m an expert and I’m so not winning the zombie thing tonight,” she chuckled.

  “We’re not ancient you know. We still have it in us.”

  She smiled. “We can do movies, veg-out, talk boys. Oh! I’m so excited Lex! This is just what I’ve been needing!”

  “What we both have.”

  “And what boys will you be discussing?” my dad chimed in.

  “Dad! That’s private,” I droned.

  “Just make sure none of these boys pay a house visit tonight. I will be ready to run them off,” he warned.

  “Dad, be nice! And you should know better. Mel and I aren’t like that.”

  “Yeah Mr. Jackson, we’re definitely not those girls,” Mel reiterated.

  “I certainly hope not.”

  “I’ll put the desserts in the fridge and grab a coke for us if you want to go up,” I offered as we pulled in the driveway.

  “Sure. I want to change into my PJs asap anyways.”

  “Try to get to bed at a reasonable time Alexa,” my dad stated as I was exiting the kitchen.

  “We will dad,” I replied robotically. “Night,” I called on my way up the stairs.

  “Night,” he said entering his room.

  “My dad is being so weird,” I announced as I handed Mel her soda. She was already changed and sitting comfortably on my bed waiting.

  “How so?”

  “You know, it was weird because he loved Mike, but glared at Kellan whose supposed to be a family friend. Like tonight, he knows I’ve never snuck around with boys, yet still gave us the warning. Then just now he was telling me to get to bed at a decent time and he even called me Alexa; he never calls me Alexa. It’s just not like him to interfere so much; he usually leaves that to my mom…”

  “Huh. You think he’s weirding out over his daughter dating? Or just you getting older?”

  “I have no clue.”

  “Well until he goes psycho-delic like my mom, let’s just forget about it.”

  I chuckled. “I think I can try to do that.”

  “So what movie do we want to watch?”

  “Hmm. Let’s see what’s on demand,” I stated flipping through the menu on the TV. At seeing the movie ‘Eclipse,’ we immediately selected it.

  I changed into my pajamas and settled next to Mel on my bed. The next couple hours we were engrossed in the world of love, werewolves and vampires only as it happens in books and movies, at least from Mel’s point of view anyways. The similarities to my own world were uncanny in some places. To think, just as quickly I was being submerged into this mythical world. In forty-eight hours I would be p
reparing for my own transformation into one of them; and my best friend beside me wasn’t a werewolf nor a witch or any other creature of sorts to warrant my disclosure of truth to her. I hoped I didn’t have to abandon her as Jacob did with Bella until she figured out the reality. Bella was allowed to discover the truth; Mel never could for her own safety. I hadn’t been clued in on the repercussions of exposure yet, but I could only imagine that a royal vampeen army existed somewhere to rule our kind.

  Sadly, this would probably be my last great human memory with my best friend. I was glad we had this opportunity; this was the best way to conclude my human life. I couldn’t hold on to it forever…

  “Are you seriously crying Lex?!” Mel interrupted my compelling evaluation at the end of the movie.

  I ran my fingers under my eyes and was surprised to feel the water running down my face. “Umm… I guess so,” I stuttered bewildered by my sudden, intense down pour.

  Why was I crying? Was I that upset over the changes coming to my sisterhood with Mel? What am I saying? Of course I am! Mel was my favorite person to be around and no matter how things panned out over the next couple weeks, even if I did reveal the truth to her, things would never be the same between us. Our solid friendship realistically ended here, for I would always have to maintain some sort of distance between us to protect my true identity and involvement in a new world. I wasn’t a good enough actress to do otherwise; Mel knew me too well.

  “What do you want to do next?” Mel asked attempting to distract me from further collapse.

  “Umm,” I sniffed trying to pull myself together, “I don’t know. What sounds good?”

  “I’m thinking tres leches,” she beamed.

  “Sounds perfect. Let’s go!” I hopped down off my bed in unison with Mel. We retrieved our desserts from the fridge just as my mom returned home.

  “So did the sellers accept the offer?” I asked my mother as she entered the kitchen.

  “I’ll know in the morning,” she replied.

  “Was it a solid offer?”

  “I think so but you never know.”