Beloved Ink

by Ranae Rose

  Tremors zipped through her legs as he lowered his open mouth to her pussy.

  He licked and sucked her clit until she ached for his cock again.

  It felt good when he gave it to her.

  It felt good just to have him close, to wrap her arms around his neck and feel his heart hammering. The love she felt for him made her heart hurt, almost as much as the thought of losing him did. He was crazy if he thought she was going anywhere.

  * * * * *

  The formal arraignment passed by. Ben’s initial therapy sessions passed by. It all blurred, weeks of stress and trying to be better at handling it. One thing that stood out, though, was his latest meeting with his lawyer.

  “It’s a tough choice,” Dylan said back at the apartment afterward. “But at least you’ve got a choice.”

  Ben shook his head. “Fuck. It doesn’t feel like a choice – it feels like gambling.”

  His lawyer had brought up the possibility of a plea bargain. Ben could go to trial, or he could skip it by pleading guilty to a lesser charge.

  That lesser charge was simple assault. A second-degree misdemeanor punishable by fine or up to two years imprisonment. Not as bad as a felony, but still something with the potential to go badly.

  He couldn’t go to prison. That truth hadn’t just been a part of his fucked-up thinking; it was a fact, for all the reasons he’d already come to terms with. And he didn’t want any kind of assault charge on his record.

  “I can’t risk going to prison,” he said. “And if I plead guilty to simple assault, that might still happen. Plus, I don’t believe what I did was a crime. I try to stay honest, and sometimes I think that’s the only thing I have going for me. I don’t want to risk my life over a lie I told out of fear.”

  Dylan met Ben’s gaze. “Sounds like you’ve made your decision.”

  “Do you think it’s the right one?”

  “Yeah, I do. But you’re the one who has to live with the worst of it if it turns out badly, so don’t worry about what I think.”

  “Sometimes my judgment isn’t worth shit. I need to know what you think.”

  “Your judgment’s been getting better. You’ve been sticking with your therapy, and I think – I hope – that getting rid of that gun was a step up from the rock bottom of this whole ordeal.”

  He’d pawned the gun, just to get rid of it. It’d been more of a symbolic gesture than anything else, but it’d made Hannah and Dylan happy, and that was something.

  Ben shook his head. “Yeah, but you know how it can be: one step forward and two steps back. If I was going to level out and stay that way forever, I wouldn’t be bipolar.”

  “I’ve been doing this for a while. Believe me when I say that you’re getting better, and where you’re at now isn’t the best it can ever get.”

  “I hope you’re right. I don’t want to keep fucking up until I run myself into the ground and can’t take anymore. I want to fix my life so bad it fucking hurts.”

  * * * * *

  “I’m not settling for a plea bargain,” Ben said. “We’re taking the case to trial.”

  Hannah sat beside Ben on the couch in her living room, her back aching from a long day at Hot Ink. At least it wasn’t her shoulder that was hurting her.

  “I don’t blame you,” she said, meeting his eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong, and I think a jury will see that.”

  “I’m glad you think so. My lawyer thinks he can prove what I did was justified, but I could still plea bargain if I didn’t want to take the chance.”

  She slipped one of her hands over his and held on tight. “It was justified. I hate what all this has put you through, and you know I’ll stand by you no matter what you decide.”

  He nodded. “The idea of a trial scares the shit out of me, but nothing else seems right or worth the risk.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. Just a little over two months past the original injury, she could finally move her shoulder without fear. It felt so good to be able to put her arms around him again.

  He pressed a hand against the small of her back as his breath warmed her neck.

  “I know it’s been months,” she said, leaning back so she could look him in the eye, “but I feel like I haven’t made it clear enough how much I appreciate what you did.”

  “What I did was nothing compared to what I wanted to do to that guy.”

  His jaw tensed, and a hard light shone in his eyes. He still got mad when they talked about the fight.

  “You did enough, and most people wouldn’t have. I don’t care what anyone’s accused you of; you’re my hero.”

  He laughed. “A bar-fighting hero. Your standards aren’t high enough.”

  “My standards are perfectly calibrated.” She leaned against him, so that the top of her head rested below his jaw.

  “I still can’t believe you’ve gone through all this shit with me over these past couple months.” He exhaled, his breath rushing through her hair and making her scalp tingle. “If you’d told me before that someone like you would want to be with me if they knew what I was really like, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

  “You don’t have a clue what you’re really like, Ben. If you did, you wouldn’t talk about yourself that way. All you think about are your flaws. But everyone has those and the rest of you outshines the other things, I promise you. Even the shit over the gun, and how much you scared me. I don’t care how many times I have to tell you – it’s true, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe me.”

  He pulled back and looked her in the eye, like he was still skeptical.

  “I mean it. And I know getting rid of that gun didn’t magically make your problems go away. I still love you.”

  “Hard to believe. But I don’t know why you’d still be here if it wasn’t true.”

  “It’s true.”

  “I love you too, but I know I’m not like you. You’re easy to love; I think I fell for you the moment I saw you at Primanti Bros. with cheese smeared on your face.”

  She winced as her cheeks heated. So, he had remembered. “Can’t it be a different moment?”

  “No. I knew right then you were my dream woman. Then I saw you at the gym bouncing around on that treadmill, and I knew it was some kind of fate.”

  She grinned. “I love you but I hate both of those stories, and I forbid you to tell them to anyone.”

  “No problem. I don’t want word getting around to other guys about how great you are. I want to hold onto you. Since all my personal crap might make that hard sometimes, I need all the edge I can get.”

  “Don’t talk like that. You’re different, I’ll give you that, but you’ve made me question my immature perceptions and expectations – you’ve made me grow up. When I first met you, I was arranging my whole life around trying to avoid being taken advantage of again. But now I see how ridiculous that was. I thought I was being smart, but really I was just being judgmental and robbing myself of the chance to mature as a person.”

  “Hmm… Made you grow up? Years from now, are you going to tell me I made you go grey?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Maybe. I guess we’ll see.”

  He ran a hand through her hair. “I think you could pull it off.”

  “Good to know… Anyway, it’s a little late, but since we’ve got the rest of the evening to ourselves, why don’t we do something fun?”

  She tensed just a little, hoping her suggestion would go over well. Lately they’d been trying to keep the stress of the case from spilling over into everything they did, but it could be hard.

  Hard, but worth it: the strain was real, but it was also interspersed by the many happy, pleasurable moments they shared. Those times were brilliant against the darkness, like stars in a black sky.

  “Like what?” His grin widened and he slid his hand lower and squeezed her ass through her jeans.

  “Well, I was going to suggest cheesesteaks.” She sucked in a breath as he pressed a thumb against the crotch of her jeans, exe
rting deliberate pressure against her clit. “It seemed fitting…”

  “They’re open late. We can take our time.” He rubbed, and it was amazing how little of a barrier her jeans and panties felt like when he touched her.

  She placed a hand on the front of his jeans, gripping his hard shaft through the denim. “Okay. Hey…”

  Her spine prickled as she prepared to voice something that’d been on her mind for weeks. Finally, the time seemed right to broach the subject.

  “What?” He continued to tease her clit, making her head spin.

  “Do you know if you’re clean?”

  He dropped his gaze to where she was resting her palm over his dick.

  “A few months ago my doctor told me I should get tested since I’m apparently at a high risk for impulsive sexual behavior.” He removed his hands from her body long enough to make finger quotes in the air. “So yeah, I was tested.”

  “And?” Her stomach flip-flopped. God, let him say he was healthy.

  “I’m fine. Clean.”

  She released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “So am I. I got tested after things blew up in San Francisco – I was worried. I’ve only been with you since then.”

  “Right.”

  “So, do you want to stop using condoms?”

  “Yes.” He gripped her hips, groaning. “Hell yes, I want to. But it was never really fear of getting sick that made me careful. I would be impulsive as hell with you. I’ve spent hours eating your pussy with nothing between us and it wouldn’t have stopped me if you’d told me you were radioactive. But I don’t want to risk getting you pregnant. I wouldn’t make a good father.”

  A pang of sadness hit her. Not because she wanted a baby, but because his self-image made him think twice when concern for his health didn’t.

  “I’m not so sure about that.” He was loving and protective to a fault. Plus, Emily adored him. “Not that that’s something I’m ready for either, but I think you might be underestimating yourself.”

  “I don’t think so. I can’t even keep my own shit together. I shouldn’t be in charge of anyone else’s life.”

  She stroked his cheek, knuckles gliding against the hard line of his jaw. “I don’t want to risk a pregnancy either. I just want you – all of you. We can keep using condoms if you want. But I am on the pill. I’ve been on it for years and I’m very careful.”

  He sighed and pulled her close, pressing his face against her breasts. “If you’re sure, I can’t say no. I want it. I want to feel you raw so bad I’m ready to come just thinking about it.”

  Her pussy tightened and her pulse quickened. Now that they’d agreed, waiting any longer was unthinkable. “I want it just as bad.”

  CHAPTER 24

  Ben pulled Hannah into his lap, then shifted beneath her.

  Sensing his intentions, she wrapped her legs around his waist as he stood.

  He started to move toward the bedroom, but she kissed him, and he stopped in his tracks.

  “You’ve gotta stop,” he said, still holding her when they broke apart. “I’m already way too excited about this, and I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  “It’d be a first if you did,” she said as he carried her the short distance to her bedroom.

  Once there, he lowered her onto the bed and undressed her quickly, barely pausing to touch the curves he uncovered.

  “Fuck,” he said, leaning in between her thighs and staring down when she was naked. “I’m afraid this will go way too fast.”

  She laughed.

  “I’m serious.”

  “Stop worrying. It’s not like this is a one-time thing.”

  He tore his clothes off before joining her on the bed, lying between her thighs with his bare body against hers. That was always a thrill, but this time, it had her breathing fast and tensing with anticipation. When he grabbed his cock by the base and pressed the naked head against her pussy lips, she moaned.

  He felt so hot against her. She hadn’t realized how much heat the condoms had kept her from feeling. It made every inch of her tingle.

  Instead of thrusting in like she’d expected, he pressed the tip of his dick against her clit.

  When he massaged her with it, it felt better than his hand. Better than anything, except for being filled by him. It even gave his mouth on her pussy a run for its money.

  Every second of pleasure was sharpened by the anticipation of him slipping just a little lower and pushing deep into her. She ached for him to stop the tease and do just that, but she was also already primed for a climax she could feel coming.

  It hit her in waves – waves driven by the hot, grinding pressure of his thick cock against her clit. He used it on her like a real-life toy, groaning as she braced herself with her feet against the mattress, her hips bucking against him.

  Her orgasm had just peaked when he responded by flexing his hips, slamming into her with one hard stroke.

  She gasped, arching beneath him as her shocked senses scrambled to regroup. Her pussy lips had grown so wet that he’d slipped inside before she’d realized what was happening, and the force of his entry spiked through her, eliciting an intense contraction that pulled her tight around his buried shaft.

  He swore, said her name and swore some more. Meanwhile, she gripped his back, digging her nails in as her climax ebbed, wracking her with pleasure that numbed the tip of her tongue and stole her ability to form words.

  “I can’t believe how good you feel,” he said, pressing his groin against hers, stretching her further and making her gasp. “You were always tight. But now I can feel exactly how hot and wet you are and… Fuck.”

  Another spasm zipped through her, making her inner muscles flex and tighten.

  He groaned and rocked his hips, pulling back and filling her again with his bare dick.

  He was right; it did feel different. It felt so good she couldn’t imagine ever doing it any other way again.

  “Harder,” she said, addicted to the smooth friction of his shaft against her walls.

  “Harder will mean faster.”

  “I don’t care. Don’t hold back.”

  He fucked her hard, making the bed shake, making her arch beneath him until her back ached. He was obviously close, and just when she thought the next stroke would bring him to a climax, he reined himself in.

  Before she could breathe a word, he pressed his mouth against the side of her neck and kissed her there until it was all she could do just to breathe. He used his teeth and she purposely tightened her pussy in response, squeezing his cock.

  He was absolutely rigid inside her. Whether he was really harder than usual or just felt like it without a condom in the way, there was no telling. But it drove her crazy, and the more he kissed her while keeping her impaled on his entire length, the more involuntary the contractions in her core became.

  “Jesus, Hannah…” He eventually lifted his mouth from her neck and tipped his head back. “You’re killing me.”

  She slid one hand from his shoulder to his ass and squeezed.

  He rocked into her like he couldn’t help it.

  “I’m close,” she said. “Really close.”

  The head of his dick was hitting her in just the right spot and her nerves were buzzing, threatening to short-circuit whatever part of her brain was supposed to handle this new intensity and the pleasure it brought.

  He groaned and thrust hard, pounding into her without preamble or build-up.

  The sudden gratification – the sheer force – had her coming instantly. The pleasure was more intense than the first time; his movement inside her enhanced it, pushed it farther than anything else could. She cried out and he responded with more speed, no hesitation.

  He came just after she did. The way he moaned made her scalp prickle and her nipples harden to tiny peaks. When he pulled out, she was breathless.

  His cock was still stiff and shining wet. The sight sent a thrill through her, even though she’d come twice. The same moisture
was hot inside her, and when she rolled over to lie beside him, a little bit trickled down her inner thigh.

  A shiver raced down her spine. His come running hot and wet over her skin felt good.

  “Well,” he said, looking her in the eye, “I hope you never want to go back. I’m ruined for anything besides the feel of your wet pussy wrapped around my cock.”

  She touched his belly, just above the swollen head of his dick. There was a pearly white drop beaded at the tip, and the sight of it made her hot all over again. “I don’t want to go back.”

  He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “You’re perfect, Hannah. I know I’m not. But you are and it’s unreal. Better: it makes everything else feel unreal. I can’t get enough of you. Couldn’t before and will never be able to now.”

  Even more heat flooded her body, pulsing in her fingertips. “I love you.”

  It was so unbelievably easy to say. He’d hooked her with his sincerity, his passion. Even his pain. He was someone real. Someone with flaws, yes, but not hidden ones she’d discover later, like stepping on a landmine. He was overwhelmingly irresistible in all his intensity, his humor and his sweetness, his loyalty and the ferocity that came with it.

  “I more than love you,” he said. “I adore you like people adore things they’re not supposed to touch – priceless things, sacred things. But I can’t resist and it’s like this crushing, exhilarating high every time I get my hands on you.”

  She shut her eyes and squeezed his hand. There was the intensity she loved. She didn’t know what to say, but his words filled her with an aching, happy glow anyway.

  How had she lived for so long in a relationship where so much had been left unsaid and covered up? Her past seemed cheap and hollow compared to the connection she felt with Ben.

  He climbed on top of her with one movement and his hard, sticky cock pressed against her thigh, sliding against the semen he’d left on her skin. When he kissed her, he did it with more energy than she would’ve guessed he’d had left after the way he’d just fucked her.