by Michael Dahl
Who's there?
Affer.
Affer who?
Affer got!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hurda.
Hurda who?
Hurda my finger in the door!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Costa.
Costa who?
Costa lot of money!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fiddle.
Fiddle who?
'Fiddle make you feel better, I'll tell you!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Kook.
Kook who?
You sound like a cuckoo!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Camilla.
Camilla who?
Camill-a little squirt!
Please Fix That
The letters in each column go in the squares directly below them, but not in the same order! Black squares are for punctuation, and the spaces between the words. When you have correctly filled in the grid, you will have a silly answer from Mr. Fix It!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Poodle.
Poodle who?
What's am I?
I come in different shapes and sizes. My color doesn't matter. I can be soft or hard. I am full of holes, yet I can hold water. What am I?
A sponge
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Justice.
Justice who?
Just-ice time, but that's it!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ghana.
Ghana who?
Ghana dance all night!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sue.
Sue who?
Sue prize!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dublin.
Dublin who?
Dublin the bus fare!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Asthma.
Asthma who?
Asthma anything you want!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Usher.
Usher who?
Usher wish we could do something else!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Pear.
Pear who?
Pear of earrings!
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Bonn.
Bonn who?
Bonn on the Fourth of July!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Eclipse.
Eclipse who?
Eclipse my toenails!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Udder.
Udder who?
Udder madness!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Norway.
Norway who?
Norway am I leaving this house!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Saul.
Saul who?
'Saul in the name of love!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wilma lunch be ready soon?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Parkway.
Parkway who?
Parkway over there!
FUN FACT
DON'T BOTHER TRYING!
Your elbow is a very important part of your body. It is the joint between the upper and lower arm. Your elbow allows your arm to bend. Without elbows, we would have a very hard time carrying out many basic tasks. But did you know that it is impossible to lick your own elbows? (I'll bet you tried to anyway!)
Hidden Helper
The answer to this joke is hidden in the letter grid. Use these clues to help figure it out:
The answer starts in a corner.
You read the answer in a logical order, one word after the other.
You must add the punctuation.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Alfie.
Alfie who?
Alfie horrible if you go!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Walt.
Walt who?
Walt you don't know won't hurt you!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ewen.
Ewen who?
Ewen me could make great music!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Amusing.
Amusing who?
Am-using my new joke book!
FUN FACT
HIP HIPPOS
A hippopotamus can run faster than a man. These huge creatures can weigh up to 8,000 pounds. To keep their skin moist in hot climates, hippos secrete a pink oil that some have mistaken for blood.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Leslie.
Leslie who?
Leslie before anyone sees us!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Aloha.
Aloha who?
Aloha you the rope!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Shel.
Shel who?
Shel be coming 'round the mountain!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Centaur.
Centaur who?
Cent-aur out for some more pizza!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Aldus.
Aldus who?
Aldus fuss for nothing!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Stella.
Stella who?
Stella nobody's home!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wayne.
Wayne who?
Wayne keeps falling on my head, so I bought an umbwella!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Jack.
Jack who?
Jack of all trades!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Locker.
Locker who?
Locker up for what she's done!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Quack.
Quack who?
Quack another bad joke and I'm leaving!
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Gabe.
Gabe who?
Gabe it everything I got!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Jubilee.
Jubilee who?
Jubilee in magic?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Farmer.
Farmer who?
Farmer birthday I'm getting a new bike!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Diploma.
Diploma who?
Diploma came to fix the toilet!
TIED UP IN KNOCK-KNOCKS
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Willy.
Willy who?
Willy call me before he comes over?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Rover.
Rover who?
Rover hill, Rover dale!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Vet.
Vet who?
Vet are you going to do today?
FUN FACT
AMAZING SNAILS
Snails are very interesting creatures, but most of the time we don't even notice them. That's because they are often underground, they move very slowly, and they don't make much noise. But did you know that many snails can lift things that weigh 10 times more than their bodies do? They also
can sleep for three years at a time.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Zany.
Zany who?
Zany body home?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the chair, it broke!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Thumb.
Thumb who?
Thumb body is at the door!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Felix.
Felix who?
'Felix my ice cream, I'll be upset!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Steven.
Steven who?
Steven the walls have ears!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma 'fraid I have to go home now!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
De Witt.
De Witt who?
De Witt now!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone know?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Evelyn.
Evelyn who?
Evelyn comes full circle!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Datsun.
Datsun who?
Datsun old one!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Havana.
Havana who?
Havan-a great time, hope you are too!
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Antilles.
Antilles who?
Antilles comes home, we just have to wait!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Alfred.
Alfred who?
Alfred of monsters? Not me!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
TRY THIS
Money Making
It's easy to make coin rubbings. All you need is a bunch of coins, a blank piece of white paper, and a pencil. Place a coin under the paper. Then, tilt the pencil and rub the side of the lead back and forth along the front of the coin. The imprint of the coin will appear on the paper. You can then cut out the imprints and use them as play money.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Pierre.
Pierre who?
Pierre through the telescope!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Albert.
Albert who?
Al-bert you don't know who this is!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Honda.
Honda who?
Honda road again!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Oliver.
Oliver who?
Oliver 'nother cookie please!
Alli-OOPS!
Start at number 1 and connect the dots in order to find the answer to this joke. But be careful — you may not want to answer the door when you see who is knocking!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Gipper.
Gipper who?
Gipper a hand!
Words to Know
Hilarious: Something that makes you laugh so hard you can't control yourself. You just keep laughing and laughing. Anything or anyone can be hilarious!
How Polite!
Swim through the tank, collecting letters from START to END. They will spell the answer to this joke:
Knock, knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy today, sunny tomorrow!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Pencil fall down if you don't buckle your belt!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Boleyn.
Boleyn who?
Boleyn alley!
What's am I?
I cannot be seen, and I cannot be felt. No one can hear me and I have no smell. I lie around stars, I fill empty holes, and I hide under hills. What am I?
Darkness
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to the door and answer it!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sadie.
Sadie who?
Sadie same thing over and over!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Germany.
Germany who?
Germany people are coming over?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Waiter.
Waiter who?
Waiter minute!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
I-8.
I-8 who?
I-8 lunch at noon.
When's dinner?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Nan.
Nan who?
Nan that I know!
FUN FACT
NO RHYME OR REASON
Everybody loves a good rhyming song. Though it's easy to rhyme almost every word in the English language, there are exceptions. You'd be hard-pressed to find a word in the English language that rhymes with “orange,” “silver,” or “purple.” (“Burple” doesn't count!)
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Max.
Max who?
Max-imum penalty for the crime!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Haydn.
Haydn who?
Haydn-go-seek is fun!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Omar.
Omar who?
Omar goodness gracious!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
'Sarah 'nother joke we can tell?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Buster.
Buster who?
Bus-ter the park comes every hour!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Thoreau.
Thoreau who?
Thoreau the ball!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I'm fine, Hawaii you?
It's Me!
Fill in the answers to the clues, one letter in each numbered space. Then transfer the letters to the boxes that have the same numbers. When all the boxes are filled in correctly, you will have the answer to this joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shirley.
Shirley who?
What's am I?
As I grow up I grow down. I travel in groups but stay close to my family. I love to swim, but when the weather turns cold, I fly away. What am I?
A gosling (babygoose)
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Thistle.
Thistle who?
Thistle be the last time I tell you!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Gwen.
Gwen who?
Gwen will I see you again?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
Tank goodness you answered the door!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ozzie.
Ozzie who?
Oz-zie you later!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ireland.
Ireland who?
Ire-land you some money for lunch!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Bertha.
Bertha who?
My Bertha-day's just around the corner!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fish.
Fish who?
Fish-us temper will get you nowhere!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita place to take a nap!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Soup.
Soup who?
Soup-erman has special powers!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Handel.
Handel who?
Handel with care!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby days are here again!
TRY THIS
Soap Suds Fun
Standing over the bathroom sink, rub a little bit of liquid soap between your hands. Wet your hands with just a drop of water. Then, keeping the tips of your fingers and palms together, slowly open the middle of your hands to form a tunnel. Gently blow through the tunnel in your hands, and huge bubbles should appear like magic.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Blue.
Blue who?
Blue your nose!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fido.
Fido who?
Fido I have to do everything?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Distress.
Distress who?
Distress is the one I wore to the party!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Carmen.
Carmen who?
Carmen get it!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Grimm.
Grimm who?
Grimm and bear it!
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Washer.
Washer who?
Washer don't know won't hurt you!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Meow.
Meow who?
Take meow to the ball game!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Xavier.
Xavier who?
Xavier breath!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
