by Michael Dahl
Taipei.
Taipei who?
Tai-pei letter and mail it!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
Jimmy your money, this is a stickup!
KNOCK-KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Rosina.
Rosina who?
Rosina garden is lovely!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Pudding.
Pudding who?
Pudding your shoes on before your pants is a silly idea!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Weed.
Weed who?
Weed better mow the lawn!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Reuben.
Reuben who?
Reuben my eyes, I'm sleepy!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sausage.
Sausage who?
Sausage nice things in the shop!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Kipper.
Kipper who?
Kipper eyes open for the signs!
What's am I?
I've got two really big front teeth that help me cut right through shrubs and even trees. I am known for building dams. These dams help slow down water and make deep pools where I love to splash around. What am I?
A beaver
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Rufus.
Rufus who?
Rufus on fire!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Stan.
Stan who?
Stan back, I'm coming through!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
F-2.
F-2 who?
F-2 go to the bathroom!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Passion.
Passion who?
Just passion through!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Nose.
Nose who?
Nose a lot of people!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fletcher.
Fletcher who?
Fletcher feet do the walking!
TRY THIS
Magnet Magic
Did you know that a powerful magnet can work through paper, cardboard, and even water? Impress your friends with this trick. Put a paper clip in a glass that's mostly filled with water. Tell your friends you can get the paper clip out of the water without getting wet. Then slide the magnet along the glass until it connects with the paper clip. Move the magnet and the paper clip up the glass and above the surface of the water, until you can reach in and grab the paper clip without getting your fingers wet.
Which Window?
Laura is visiting a friend who lives in an old apartment building. Use the clues to find out who will answer the door when Laura knock knocks!
Laura's friend is not using the computer.
The kid to the left of Laura's friend has a pet.
Laura's friend does not know how to knit.
Laura's friend has a window with curtains.
EXTRA FUN: Read the letters in the windows from bottom to top, and right to left. You will find the answer to this joke:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Juan.
Juan who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Warrior.
Warrior who?
Warrior been?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Square.
Square who?
Square are we going?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sincerely.
Sincerely who?
Sincerely, we still have time for breakfast!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Oakham.
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful!
FUN FACT
SNEAKY CREATURES
There are 84 different types of chameleons on the planet. They have special cells in their skin that allow them to blend in with their surroundings. This way, it is hard for enemies to find them. But watch out — if a chameleon gets angry, it can turn bright red.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Diane.
Diane who?
Diane to get in the door!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Yoda.
Yoda who?
Yoda greatest, baby!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Goshen.
Goshen who?
Goshen's great for swimming!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Eight ball.
Eight ball who?
Eight ball the food!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Kismet.
Kismet who?
Kismet before anyone sees us!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Rick.
Rick who?
Rick-ety bridge fell down!
Words to Know
Comic Relief: A funny moment in a play or show that breaks up a very serious scene. Comic relief comes just in the nick of time when everything seems to be very tense and just too serious.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sultan.
Sultan who?
Sultan pepper shakers!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Cockadoodle.
Cockadoodle who?
Cockadoodle doo, not cockadoodle who!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Mica.
Mica who?
Mi-ca is in the shop!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Letter.
Letter who?
Letter ask us all she wants!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Maude.
Maude who?
Maude in the U.S.A.!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Comet.
Comet who?
Com-et a crime and you'll go to jail!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Insect.
Insect who?
Insect your name here!
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Bjorn.
Bjorn who?
Bjorn to run!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Quebec.
Quebec who?
Quebec to the beginning!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Amish.
Amish who?
Amish you, do you miss me?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ooze.
Ooze who?
Ooze in charge around here?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fajita.
Fajita who?
'Fajita 'nother thing, I'll be sick!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wilma.
Wilma who?
Wilma headache ever go away?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Minerva.
Minerva who?
Minerva-s wreck!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Honeycomb.
Honeycomb who?
Honeycomb your hair, it's a mess!
What's am I?
As I grow up I grow down. I travel in groups but stay close
to my family. I love to swim, but when the weather turns cold, I fly away. What am I?
A kangaroo
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dennis.
Dennis who?
Dennis is going to fix my toothache!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Worm.
Worm who?
Worm yourself by the fireplace!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Amir.
Amir who?
Amir so let me in!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Les.
Les who?
Les go home!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ford.
Ford who?
Ford he's a jolly good fellow!
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Isadore.
Isadore who?
Isadore open?
Half a Chance
This young lady only got half of her picture printed! Complete her portrait by copying the first half, square by square, into the empty grid.
Next, figure out which letter goes into each box, below. When you are finished, you will learn the second half of her name, too!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alison.
Alison who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter if I keep it a secret!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dummy.
Dummy who?
Dummy a favor and be quiet!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara is Thursday!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Handsome.
Handsome who?
Handsome chips to me, I'm hungry!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke out, I'm going to tell another knock-knock joke!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Throat.
Throat who?
Throat out if it's rotten!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Blue.
Blue who?
Blue away in the wind!
FUN FACT
SANDY CREATIONS
Those drinking glasses you have in the cabinet started out as sand on the beach! Hard to believe, but true. To make glass, sand is heated until it melts. Then the liquid is carefully shaped into glassware for you to drink your lemonade out of.
TRY THIS
An Optical Illusion
Take two magnifying glasses and hold them together, one on top of the other. Look closely at the words on an opened book through both lenses. Now, slowly pull the magnifying glasses toward you. Watch the words get bigger and bigger. If you keep pulling the magnifying glasses toward you, you'll see something strange happen. Suddenly, the words flip. This is because the lenses bent the light rays!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Quill.
Quill who?
Quill you marry me?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Fanny.
Fanny who?
Fanny body home?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little love in your life?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tomcat ate your tongue?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Woody.
Woody who?
Woody want from me?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Jeannette.
Jeannette who?
'Jeann-ette has a lot of holes in it!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Harmony.
Harmony who?
Harmony more knock knocks do you want to hear?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dexter.
Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Faith.
Faith who?
Faith the music!
Words to Know
Shtick: A show-business word that means a comedian's routine. Most comedians have a certain type of act that they do much of the time. Comedians go on tour to do their shtick.
TRY THIS
A Bugalicious Snack
Like insects? This snack is fun to make and even more fun to eat. You'll need some celery, peanut butter, and raisins. Put some peanut butter on the celery sticks, then place the raisins in the peanut butter. You now have ants on a log! Yummy!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Al.
Al who?
Al be leaving soon!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Thatcher.
Thatcher who?
Thatcher idea of a knock-knock joke?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Israeli.
Israeli who?
Israeli nice of you to come over!
Rhyme Time
Can you use eight single-syllable words that rhyme with “knock” to describe the actions and things in this picture?
EXTRA FUN: Can you see two other things that can be described using two-syllable words that end in “-ock”?
What's So Funny
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Kent.
Kent who?
Kent you tell?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Violet.
Violet who?
Violet a good meal go to waste?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Spider.
Spider who?
'Spider everything, I'm still here!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Elaine.
Elaine who?
Elaine on the highway is closed!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Goose.
Goose who?
You goose who! I already know!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hewlett.
Hewlett who?
Hewlett you in the house?
FUN FACT
IT'S ELECTRIC!
Humans aren't the only ones who know how to communicate with each other. Many animals have a way of communicating. Birds chirp, dogs bark, and cats meow. There are some fish out there that have a very interesting way of letting other sea creatures know what's on their minds. About 500 different species of fish use electricity to communicate. A banded knife fish, for example, may scare off an enemy by flashing on and off!
WHO'S THAT KNOCKIN'?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Paris.
Paris who?
Paris the thought!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Cash whos are yummy!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ray.
Ray who?
Ray-ning all week long!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Turner.
Turner who?
Turner 'round, quick!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Eden.
Eden who?
Eden all the pudding!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Homer.
Homer who?
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Homer-run is great if you can hit one!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Plato.
Plato who?
Plato mashed potatoes!
Words to Know
Punch line: A punch line has nothing to do with anyone punching. It is actually the funniest — or punchiest — part of a joke. Usually the punch line comes at the end of the joke. Ever listen to a long joke only to find out that the punch line wasn't so funny after all? That's no fun!
Crazy Criss-Cross
Unscramble each word and fit it into the numbered criss-cross grid. When you are done, read down the shaded column to find the answer to this joke:
Knock, knock. Who's there? Howie. Howie who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Can't.
Can't who?
Can't elope!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah place to go!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Warren.
Warren who?
Warren earth are you going?
What's am I?
I collect acorns and bury them for cold weather. The problem is, I always forget where I've left them. Sometimes the acorns stay where I left them and grow into trees. I may be gray or black and I've got a bushy tail that makes me irresistible. What am I?
A squirrel
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Salome.
Salome who?
Salome on a sandwich!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Franz.
Franz who?
Franz, Romans, Countrymen!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda off and you could get lost!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Detour.
Detour who?
De-tour will take us to Spain!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sandy.
Sandy who?
Sandy letter to your friend!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ina.
Ina who?
Ina few minutes I'm going to tell you another joke!
Knock knock!
Who's there?
