HowToLoseABiker

by Unknown

  Trevor and Jackson have been friends since basic training and they went on to serve three tours in Afghanistan together. As friends, they had literally been through hell together and back home things weren't much better. They both lost their parents while on active duty, but each dealt with it differently. Trevor quickly lined up a business loan and started his own private security company. Jackson had joined his friend's MC.

  “You and Sydney,” he says.

  “She's fucking crazy,” Trevor says with a shrug, “and I figured out that I love that crazy woman.”

  Jackson just nods. He understands that completely. Sometimes, you just know that a person is it for you even after an hour or a minute with them. Sadie has always been the one, he was just too stupid to know it.

  “Does Sadie know you want five kids yet?” Trevor asks.

  Sydney is already pregnant so the asshole walks around with a swagger.

  “Imagining her face when I tell her,” Jackson shakes his head, “I want to ease her into the idea slowly.”

  “Good luck with that. Sydney made Sadie watch a video of an actual birth. Apparently they both threw up.” Trevor chuckles.

  “They act like they are in charge, but they throw up over a video?” he laughs, too.

  “Yeah, they're weak.” Trevor says rubbing his shaggy blonde hair.

  They tear away the cabinets, appliances, and flooring. When they are done, they begin carrying it all out to a garbage container.

  Outside the truck is gone.

  “Do you think they left us to do all the work?” Trevor asks.

  “I didn't hear them leave,” he answers.

  “It's something Sydney would do,” Trevor says.

  They laugh and continue working.

  **Sadie**

  “They won't even know we were gone!” Sydney whines.

  “You are a bad influence. They must be starving!” Sadie says.

  Sydney shrugs unrepentant.

  The guilt is killing her. Sydney seduced her into abandoning her amazing fiancé to hard labor while she, like the horrible person she is, watched a movie!

  And got a mani-pedi.

  And a back massage.

  She can't live with so much guilt.

  The least she can do is grovel and beg forgiveness. She makes Sydney stop at Jackson's favorite fast food joint and orders for everyone.

  Sydney drives them back home and Sadie rushes out of the truck, hands full of fast food

  bags.

  “Jackson!” she shouts from the entrance.

  “Over here,” his voice comes from the living room.

  Jackson and Trevor are sitting on the couch drinking beer.

  “We brought food,” she says brightly.

  They both look at each other and shake their heads.

  “You left us to go to the movies?” Jackson asks.

  “How.. Why... Who?” she asks.

  Trevor laughs, “Sydney has a serious social media problem.”

  “You should have chosen the hot pink nail polish, not bubble gum, by the way,” Jackson smirks.

  She groans, “Oh my God! Sydney!”

  Sydney is notably absent and a few seconds later they hear a car tear away from the drive

  way.

  Traitor! Seriously, the girl has no sense of loyalty!

  They both stare at her and it creeps her out.

  “What?” she asks.

  Trevor speaks up first, “I expect an apology and a gourmet meal.”

  Jackson chokes back a laugh at that.

  Sadie raises the bags of food in her hands, “What's wrong with this?” she asks.

  “After all that hard work I want a high quality meal,” Trevor says.

  The curse hasn't been lifted, but Jackson doesn't say anything.

  “That's not a good idea, Trevor,” she says.

  “Food, now!” he orders.

  She looks at Jackson but he looks into her eyes and subtly shakes his head.

  Does that mean he wants to try the curse on Trevor?

  Shrugging, she turns to go to the guesthouse.

  “Your funeral,” she says.

  **Jackson**

  Jackson is on the couch in his new living room, legs crossed on top of the coffee table. He considers getting up for some popcorn but he doesn't want to miss a thing. This is better than anything on TV.

  “I can't believe you almost killed my baby daddy!” Sydney is really pissed off at Sadie.

  She tore into the house ten minutes ago on a warpath. Sadie could have run from the hormonal pregnant woman, but she just had no sense of self-preservation.

  It's his own fault for letting her try the curse out on his best friend. Did Trevor deserve it?

  Yes. Trevor has always beaten him at pranks, so he figured he could do this one with the help of his lovely fiancé.

  “He asked for it!” Sadie yells back.

  She looks beautiful with her hands on her hips and a little snarl on her face.

  “You knew damn well what you were doing! He hasn't left the bathroom all day!” Sydney

  yells.

  Jackson's phone rings, “Yo?”

  He never takes his eyes off the pair fighting before him.

  “Is she at your house?” Trevor asks.

  “Yeah,” he answers.

  “I vaguely remember something about Sadie, a curse, and kicking someone's ass,” Trevor

  says.

  “Wouldn't recommend that, Sadie is a black belt in dirty street fighting,” Jackson says.

  Trevor groans, “Sydney is pregnant, but fearless. Keep the peace while I get there,” he warns.

  Jackson laughs, “Are you up for that yet?” he asks.

  Trevor moans, “Son of a bitch. Gotta go,” and hangs up.

  He briefly wonders if they will notice him filming them.

  “If I weren't pregnant I'd kick your ass!” Sydney yells.

  Sadie rolls her eyes, “You'd have to be born again to beat me at anything! Last time you ran away crying when I beat you at couponing!”

  “But you cheated!” Sydney screams back.

  Then Sydney starts crying.

  He shifts uneasily in his seat. Crying women really make him uncomfortable. At least Sadie never cries, unless she is watching Dance Moms.

  “I can't beat you because I'm fat and pregnant!” Sydney says between sobs.

  “Dude, you're only two months pregnant, you barely look bloated!” Sadie says.

  “I can't believe you just called me bloated! When I pop this baby out, I am so kicking your ass!” Sydney yells.

  Thank god, they are ignoring him.

  Like she can hear his thoughts, Sydney turns and notices him, maybe for the first time.

  She stops crying and smiles, “Hi Jackson. You don't think I look bloated, do you?”

  Crap.

  “You are practically glowing!” he says, avoiding the question.

  “Thanks, Sadie doesn't understand me,” she says as if that explains anything.

  Sadie looks at him expectantly.

  He just shrugs.

  Sydney turns her attention back to Sadie.

  “I might not be able to kick your ass because you are an unnaturally scrappy freak, but my babies are going to beat up your babies!” Sydney says with a big smile.

  Wait, what?

  Sadie huffs out a breath, “My babies are going to inherit my ninja genes! So messing with my babies is going to be bad for your babies’ health!”

  Jackson scratches his head at that.

  Sydney nods as if that makes sense.

  “Then I will have more babies, so that my babies can gain up on your babies!” Sydney

  says.

  Five hours later...

  “Sydney is hormonal. What's your excuse?” Jackson asks.

  He is exhausted. As entertaining as whatever that was, had been. He needs to get some sleep.

  “What do you mean?” Sadie asks innocently.

  He's too tired to explain
. He sheds his clothes as Sadie sheds hers on the opposite side of the bed.

  He collapses on his side of the bed, and Sadie takes up her usual position: on top of him.

  They've talked about it, and tried to sleep in different positions. Once he even slept on top of her, but when they woke up, she was on top of him, arms and legs wrapped around him, like a monkey. Sadie says it's probably because she's very competitive, even in sleep.

  Sadie leans away from him and says, “We should probably start making babies now. I want my baby to walk before Sydney's,” she says a serious expression on her face.

  “I'm too tired, babe. If we make a baby now, the baby will come out tired,” he says with a huge yawn.

  “You're probably right,” Sydney kisses him, “I love you,” she says with a huge yawn.

  “Love you more,” he kisses her back and they fall asleep.

  Epilogue

  Ten months later...

  “Get me my gun!” Sadie yells between contractions. Her face is flushed and her hair is sticking to her face because of the sweat. The cutesy delivery outfit and makeup long gone she looks both furious and exhausted.

  “No, sweetheart, it's just a spider,” he says gently, from a safe location.

  “It's a huge mutant spider!” she yells.

  The nurse is chuckling and she shakes her head, “Are you sure you don't want to film this,” she asks for the fifth time.

  Thinking it's safe, as she is concentrating on killing the spider, not him, he approaches her cautiously.

  “Bring that hand near me and I'll bite it off!” she warns.

  His wife really is a ninja; he can't imagine how horrible she must be feeling. He will give her a year’s worth of foot massages, if she ever lets him touch her again.

  “Calm down, honey,” he says.

  “You and your stupid Olympic super swimmers, I never had a chance!” she starts crying again.

  “Poor thing, seventy hours of labor will do that to a woman,” the nurse says sympathetically.

  “I tell you I want a baby and you telepathically knock me up!” she sobs.

  Well it was hardly telepathic; she couldn't seem to keep her little hands off him.

  They'd married only eight months ago in a private beach ceremony. After the wedding, they had increased their efforts to make a baby only to find out later that she was already a few weeks pregnant.

  They both spent the following months preparing for the baby. Sadie even made him join pregnancy yoga, which caused Trevor to tease him to no end. Until Sydney got wind of it and bullied him into going too. They read a bunch of books on pregnancy and babies, watched birthing videos that made them both throw up. He even helped Sadie make a baby quilt.

  Now, all that knowledge is about to be put to the test. Too bad he doesn't remember any of it. He can only pray he doesn't drop his precious baby girl.

  Three months ago, they converted one of the bedrooms into a nursery. They fought over which color to paint it. Sadie won after tricking him into arm wrestling for it, and then cheating. The nursery ended up being pink and mint stripped. He made the crib, changing table, dresser, and rocking chair. Sadie did her part, buying more than enough baby clothes for twenty babies.

  Their first argument had been about the curse; Sadie insisted the baby would be immune to it like her; he wasn't willing to risk it. In the end they compromised, Sadie would take a baby food class and they would try it out on Jackson. He compromised because of the articles on chemicals and glass found in packaged baby food.

  “I guess this is not the best time to tell you I want at least four more babies?” he asks.

  She growls and reaches for the ice chips to throw at him.

  He ducks and the nurse kicks him out.

  “Don't be teasing that poor girl. Chill out here for a few minutes, at least you'll be safe,” she orders.

  He walks to a vending machine and gets a cold drink. Any minute now and their baby will come into the world. He needs to keep it together. Trevor fainted when Chloe was born, and he called him weak.

  Now, when the moment comes he can't pass out, or Trevor will know.

  Their doctor goes into their room and five minutes later the door to Sadie's room opens.

  The nurse sticks her head out and calls him over, “Come on big guy, it's show time,” she

  says.

  The doctor is ordering Sadie to push and he rushes to take her hand. Her screams tear at his heart, and damn if he doesn't want to cry.

  “I should have never married you! Your babies were bound to have huge heads!” she screams.

  He winces at that image and at how hard Sadie squeezes his hand.

  Dr. Hart orders her to keep pushing when a vicious contraction takes her.

  A minute later, a strong little cry comes from a wrinkled blood covered baby.

  Emma.

  “Congratulations, you have a healthy baby girl,” the doctor says with a huge smile.

  Then everything goes black.

  **Two days later**

  “I'm telling you Sydney, I thought he was dead. He dropped like a sack of stones,” Sadie says into the phone.

  Jackson scowls at her.

  Sadie is lounging on their bed. He has Emma in his arms rocking her to sleep.

  “I know. I won fifty from the nurse and fifty from the doctor,” she laughs.

  “You bet against your own husband?” he asks outraged.

  She looks up and smiles at him.

  “Gotta go Sid, love you, ciao,” she says.

  He taps his foot until she looks up again.

  If she hadn't just had his baby he would take her over his knee and spank some loyalty into her gorgeous behind. He does have a list of her transgressions, and soon, he will spank her.

  “You do know that you made a promise before God!” he whisper yells.

  He flinches when Emma stirs, she is a feisty baby, and once you wake her up, she likes to make her displeasure known.

  Sadie raises a brow, “It's just Sydney,” she says calmly.

  “And Trevor!” he accuses.

  As it is, their whole new circle of friends must be laughing at his expense.

  “You have no reason to be ashamed. The nurse said it happens all the time,” she says.

  She pats the spot next to her and he joins her on the bed. They both look at Emma. She looks like her mother but has his nose; he hopes she doesn't hate him for that one day. Her tiny fists are clenched on either side of her little rosebud mouth. Her perfectly round bald-head is covered in a pink hat that has cat ears.

  She is perfect, his wife is perfect, and he is one lucky bastard.

  “Besides, you can redeem yourself by having diaper duty for the next two months,” she says innocently.

  “You are amazing,” he kisses her luscious mouth, “but delusional,” he laughs.