The Book of Beer Awesomeness

by Dan DiSorbo

  After each “down the river” turn, the dealer continues to turn over the next card from the deck and the same rules apply. However, after each round, the amount of drinks given decreases by one. Turn 1 = give four drinks per match, turn 2 = three drinks, turn 3 = two drinks, turn 4 = one drink.

  Play starts over and continues until everyone quits.

  When the Dungeons & Dragons generation came of age, it was only inevitable that they would develop their own homegrown drinking game. And while playing Wizard’s Staff is benign fun, it could lead participants down a slippery slope to LARP and even Comic-Con. So please play Wizard’s Staff responsibly.

  WHAT YOU’LL NEED BESIDES BEER

  A roll of duct tape

  SETUP

  This can be played by two to two hundred people at once. (If you do play with two hundred people, please invite us at www.TheBookofBeerAwesomeness.com.)

  GAME PLAY

  Players start by drinking a can of beer. Once finished, tape the empty can under a new full can of beer.

  Drink the new can of beer. Once that one is empty, tape a third new, full can to the top of the stack and so on.

  SCORING (DRINKING) METHODS

  The goal of the Wizard’s Staff is to see how many cans can be stacked and taped. As the cans add up, it gets more difficult—especially for shorter drinkers. The longest staff, obviously, wins.

  VARIATION

  Another variation has players compete to create a ten-can staff and become a “white wizard.” Each white wizard does actual battle with the other wizards, trying to break his opponent’s staff to become champion.

  The difference between a game and sport is abundantly clear.

  BUT IF WE NEED TO EXPLAIN IT, you’ve obviously never experienced the adrenaline coursing through your veins as your ball hurdles through the night air. Or as your cup teeters on the edge of the table.

  These are not drinking games. Sure, they involve drinking and they are played in a game-like fashion. But rest assured these are beer sports through and through.

  Beer sports are best experienced firsthand. Only then can you know the thrill of victory and the agony of drinking in defeat. In the meantime, here is an overview of all the best of beer sports in handy book form.

  DRINKING GAMES VS. BEER SPORTS

  Here we break down details of what makes a beer sport different … and badass.

  DRINKING GAMES

  Losing is a bummer

  Minimal physical activity

  Brings friends together

  Someone may get embarrassed

  Competitors hold beer

  Anyone can win

  Results will be forgotten in moments

  At least one person will be shirtless

  It’s better to be lucky than good

  Results in empties

  DRINKING SPORTS

  Losing is not an option

  Pitting is guaranteed

  Alienates friends forever

  Someone may pull a hammy

  Competitors hold grudges

  Only the strong can survive

  Results will be discussed for years to come

  At least one person will be wearing a uniform

  It’s better to be good than lucky

  Results in trophies

  Cue the music (think “Also Sprach Zarathustra” by Richard Strauss, better known as Ric Flair’s theme song) and fireworks because the king has entered the arena. Welcome to the alpha beer sport. Imagine the head-to-head intensity of a prizefight, the strategy of a chess match, and the shameless self-congratulation of an NFL touchdown dance. Now mix in the pressure of a game-winning free throw and the alcohol tolerance of a Russian parliamentary meeting. That’s Beer Pong.

  WHAT YOU’LL NEED BESIDES BEER

  20 plastic party cups for beer

  2 beer pong balls (aka table tennis balls)

  2 cups filled with water

  1 table

  SETUP

  Beer Pong is a team sport of skill. There are two two-player teams, a table, and ten cups set up on each end of the table.

  Ten plastic cups are arranged in a pyramid at each end of the table. These cups are filled with a mutually agreed-upon volume of a mutually agreed-upon beverage. Two additional cups of water are furnished for cleaning purposes.

  GAME PLAY

  The two teams stand on opposing sides of the table and attempt to throw, bounce, or otherwise propel a regulation table tennis ball into their opponents’ cups on the opposite side of the table.

  The two teams alternate turns, with each member of the team throwing a single ball on each turn. If both players successfully “sink” their balls in a single turn, they get their balls back and get to shoot again—this is called a “brinkback.” If only one or no balls are sunk, the turn is over, and the other team throws their two balls.

  SCORING (DRINKING) METHOD

  When a player successfully throws a ball into the opponent’s cup, the opponent must remove the ball and drink the cup’s contents. Empty cups are removed from play. The contest is over when one of the teams no longer has any cups in front of them.

  Unlike in real life, there is always an opportunity for a second chance in Beer Pong, and it’s called rebuttals. Once the final cup has been sunk, the losing team is allowed one additional turn to attempt to remove all their remaining cups. The losing team’s last cup is not removed until rebuttals have failed.

  If more than one cup remains on one side when the final cup has been sunk, the Gentleman’s Rule goes into effect: each player gets to shoot until she misses. This means a single player can sink all the remaining cups so long as she doesn’t miss. Once she misses, her partner gets the same opportunity. Once her partner misses, the game is ruled over.

  If only one cup remains when the final cup has been sunk and the opponents sink their last cup in one turn, the rebutting team only gets one shot. If the opponents sink their last cup on their second turn, the rebutting team gets two shots.

  If, at the end of the rebuttal, the rebutting team does not make all the remaining cups, they lose and the game is over.

  The losing team must consume its remaining cups as well its opponents’ remaining cups. It is up to the losing team to determine the distribution of beverages among the players.

  If the rebutting team sinks all their remaining cups, then the game goes into overtime. New racks with three cups per side are set up, and the team that sunk the last cup starts first with the balls. Original rules apply. The number of overtimes is unlimited.

  DRINKER DICTIONARY

  BEERACLE

  n. A miracle that is caused by almighty beer, e.g., making ten straight cups in a game of Beer Pong.

  MASTERING THE SPORT

  The follow section will help you go from a “chucker” (a no-game-having-newbie) to a “ringer.”

  THE GRIP

  The ball grip is one of the game’s most critical elements. It’s what controls accuracy, speed, and ball spin. When analyzing form, this is where the rubber meets the road—or more accurately, where the fingertips meet the plastic.

  THE TRADITIONAL GRIP AKA DA GRIP, THE BASIC OVERHAND, BOB The ball is held between the thumb and forefinger, resting on the middle finger for stability. The release comes with a quick snap of the wrist to produce slight backspin. It works with all stances and shooting styles. Popular, universal, effective. This grip is a must for anyone trying to play the game. In short, this is the missionary position of ball grips.

  THE TRIGGER GRIP AKA THE OVERHAND HOOK, THE BUSTA KAPPA KAPPA A variation on the Traditional. The ball is held between the tip of the thumb and the entire index finger. The middle finger remains down, resting for future post-game use. Since it does not generate much spin, this grip can cause shots to run wild—especially during outdoor play.

  THE GRANNY GRIP AKA THE LOB, THE SEMI-PRO The ball is gently cradled in your hand like a delicate flower. It is then tossed in a smooth underhanded swing. When mastered, the toss will create no
ball spin whatsoever, which makes this a good opening shot for a full rack. Fortunately for this grip, style points are not factored in the game.

  THE SHOT

  The Beer Pong shot is much more than the mere sum of its parts. It’s a graceful orchestration of muscles, joints, and cartilage working together under the watchful conductor of your brain. To help you execute this Byzantine process more smoothly, we’ve created a simple acronym to encapsulate the totality of this world-class technique. We call it our BEEER method.

  B = Balance: Make sure you are balanced before you attempt a shot.

  E = Eyes: Direct your eyes to a specific cup while you shoot.

  E = Elbow: Keep your elbow in toward your body when shooting.

  E = Extend: Extend your arm as you release and follow through.

  R = Remember: The first four points are, like, kinda worth remembering.

  YOUR JOURNEY TO BEER PONG MASTERY HAS JUST BEGUN

  Let’s face it—we could probably write an entire book on just Beer Pong alone. Wait a minute, we actually did! It’s The Book of Beer Pong—The Official Guide to the Sport of Champions. Check out TheBookofBeerPong.com to learn more.

  COACH SAYS

  Throw the ball with a smooth, fluid motion. Don’t flick or jerk it like a madman. You don’t need to hurl the ball with great force to sink a cup.

  Darts and beer have a long storied history—rich with erudite conversation in British pubs. But when hardened Midwesterners and Canadians took it over, it transformed into the ultimate New World drinking sport: beer in cans, asses in seats, and projectiles in human flesh (possibly).

  WHAT YOU’LL NEED BESIDES BEER

  2 seats (lawn chair, cooler, tree stump, etc.)

  A few standard lightweight metal darts

  2 pieces of cardboard for backstop (optional)

  WARNING: PLAY BEER DARTS AT YOUR OWN RISK

  This is not some ironic reverse psychology that is really secretly tempting you to participate in this possibly puncture-inducing pastime. And that alliteration in the previous sentence was not an attempt to make it sound cool, either. This game can be dangerous. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

  SETUP

  Beer Darts is best played between two people.

  Place seats twenty feet apart (ten feet apart if playing at night when vision is limited).

  The players grab seats, facing each other.

  An unopened can of beer is placed at each player’s feet.

  If playing in teams, add more chairs and more beers.

  All players must be seated or in a squatting stance with at least one can of unopened beer directly in front of them.

  GAME PLAY

  The player with the dart propels it toward his opponent’s can—and hopefully not his opponent’s shin.

  After the throw, the drinking mandate is decided, as specified in the following section, and the receiving player becomes the thrower.

  Play continues indefinitely or until someone taps out.

  SCORING (DRINKING) METHOD

  There are no points, only drinking mandates, which are “awarded” to the receiver as follows:

  If the dart touches the can but does not puncture it (a “tick”), the player takes one sip of beer.

  If the dart punctures the can, the player must drink to the level of the hole.

  If the can is punctured three times, the beer must be fully consumed and the game is over.

  If the dart enters the mouth of the can and its shaft drops down, the beer must be fully consumed and the game is over.

  If the dart enters the body of the opponent, the thrower must fully consume his beer.

  Running and beer have been closely linked throughout history. There is running out to get beer, running after people who took your beer, and of course, the runs from drinking beer. But the purest form is the classic Beer Run drinking sport.

  GAME PLAY VARIATIONS

  VARIATION #1: BEER MILE

  This relay version involves four-player teams and a standard quarter-mile track. The race starts with the first competitor on each team pounding a cold one, running one lap around the track, and then cleanly handing off the empty can to the next teammate. This drink, run, and pass is then repeated three more times.

  VARIATION #2: BIERKASTENLAUF

  It means “beer crate–running” and that’s, well, exactly what it is. Popular in German-speaking and German-drinking countries, it is a race among teams of two people carrying a crate of beer. Twenty bottles and ten kilometers. You do the math.

  VARIATION #3: HASH RUN

  In 1938, a group of British servicemen in Malaysia created a running and drinking club. Today, close to two thousand chapters worldwide continue the tradition. One runner (the hare) sets out, leaving a Byzantine running path with flour or chalk marks. The pack (the hashers) must follow the twists, turns, and dead ends to reach the goal: a bar or drinking area.

  SETUP

  Like any race, Beer Run is best with more than one person.

  Starting and finish lines must all be predetermined.

  GAME PLAY

  Drink a beer.

  Run.

  For more details, see the game play variations on the left.

  SCORING (DRINKING) METHOD

  The first person to cross the finish line with the contents of their stomach intact wins.

  If you’ve ever been to a tailgate, a backyard barbecue, or college, then you’ve witnessed the awesomeness known as Cornhole. Cornhole is more than just tossing a bag into a hole. Cornhole has transcended the label of “lawn game” to become an important social bridge. The game gathers the rich and the poor to a common cause. Neighbors get to know neighbors, unknowns become knowns. God bless America and her beautiful Cornhole.

  WHAT YOU’LL NEED BESIDES BEER

  2 Cornhole boards

  4 to 8 Cornhole bags (two different colors), see Brew Fact later this section

  SETUP

  Traditionally played with two teams with two players per team but the game can also be played as singles or multiplayer teams.

  Position the Cornhole boards at the appropriate distance apart: 27 feet front edge to front edge of the board for official competitive regulation; 24 feet for casual or novice players; or any distance you want for the fun of it (see following illustration).

  THE CORNHOLE BOARD

  You can make one (expert), or just buy one (easy).

  SERIOUS RULES

  Since Cornhole is a serious sport, we needed to get some serious rules. We turned to our friend Frank Geers over at the American Cornhole Organization (ACO) to get the officialness. The ACO even developed a pretty cool self-ranking system so you can compare your Cornhole skill level against others’ worldwide. Check out AmericanCornhole.com to rank yourself.

  GAME PLAY

  Players on the same team stand directly across from one another and stay in this position for the entire match. Partners do not stand on the same side or diagonally across from each other (see illustration below). If playing singles, both players toss or pitch from the same side and switch sides after each turn.

  Each team gets their own colored bags. Players pitch the bags at the Cornhole board located across from them.

  Two opponents from the same side take turns pitching, four bags each per round. After each round, play switches to the opposite side. Play begins with the player of the team that scored the previous round.

  Players must throw from behind the front edge of the board to avoid a foot fault. A foot fault results in the bag being removed from the board (if applicable). The same rule applies if a player throws out of turn.

  Bags must land and stay on the board (without touching the ground) or go completely through the hole to score. Knocking an opponent’s bag off the board is always legal.

  To determine who starts the match, one player from each team throws a single bag shoot-out, the bag closest to the hole wins. Repeat in the event of a tie.

  SCORING (DRINKING) METHOD

 
A bag in the hole is called a “cornhole” and earns three points.

  A bag on the board is called a “woody” and earns one point.

  A bag that completely misses the board and/or touches the ground results in zero points and the shooter must drink. A foot fault also results in zero points and the shooter must drink.