The Funny Thing about Love: Feel Good Sweet Romance stories

by Laura Burton

  “And that’s a wrap. Did you get that? Wow. That was perfect.”

  A tall gentleman wearing a headset and spectacles approached them with a broad grin on his face. Emily hurried over to join them.

  “No, there’s been a misunderstanding,” she said, flustered. “She’s not one of the contestants.”

  The gentleman scoffed.

  “Who cares? The chemistry between these two is electric.”

  Emily opened her mouth and closed it again. Meanwhile, Holly looked around at the sea of faces, wondering what was going on.

  “William, do you want to take this young lady on a date?” the cameraman asked. William looked at Holly and bit his lip.

  “If she’s willing… yes.”

  “You might need a crash helmet,” muttered one of the crew. A rumble of laughter followed.

  “I’ll take my chances,” William said, shooting the sniggering group a look.

  “Hold on. Let me look at this,” Emily said, springing into action. She pulled out a tablet and furiously tapped on the screen. Thatcher gave Holly the thumbs up in the background.

  After a few minutes of everyone waiting, hardly daring to move as Emily worked on the tablet, she looked up and shook her head.

  “I’m sorry. You two score twenty-one percent and that’s definitely not a good match.”

  Holly frowned but it was William who walked over to Emily and craned his neck to look at the tablet.

  “What is that?” he asked. Emily cleared her throat and turned official.

  “This is the matchmaking formula. We take the profiles of two people and the app analyzes whether or not they would be a good couple.”

  William’s brows shot up.

  “Twenty-one percent isn’t that bad,” he said, rubbing his chin. A brunette stepped forward and raised a hand.

  “But William honey, we’re a ninety-four percent match,” she said in a sickly-sweet voice.

  Holly started backing away.

  “I should go,” she said, perspiration gathering on her upper lip. She brushed it away and swallowed against the rising nausea. “I haven’t been feeling too good anyway. Don’t worry about paying me. This was all just a big mistake.” She continued to ramble as she edged away.

  No one argued with her. It was a big mistake; everyone was thinking it.

  Satisfied no one was going to follow, Holly turned on her heel and made a run for it. And she continued to run. She didn’t look back.

  Chapter 7

  “Holly. Come on, open the door. You’ve been in the bathroom for three hours.” Josie banged on the door. Holly groaned as she sat in the bath and slid under the bubbles.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, turning on the tap for more hot water.

  After a couple of seconds of scraping, the door flung open. Josie and Thatcher walked in, like a couple of cops ready to bust a criminal.

  “What are you doing in here?” Holly shrieked, covering herself with her arms.

  “Are you serious? The whole bathroom is covered in bubbles. I can see more flesh on Josie than I can see on you,” Thatcher said as he sat on the toilet. Josie crossed her arms and remained standing.

  “This is an intervention,” she announced.

  Holly sighed and let her head go under the water, dampening the sound of Josie’s ranting. When she broke the surface again, Josie had stopped.

  “Were you even listening to me?” she asked, her hands on her hips. Holly gave her an innocent smile.

  “Sure,” she said slowly.

  “Don’t you want to know what happened after you left?” Thatcher asked incredulously.

  No. Holly didn’t have even a tiny bit of curiosity about what went down. She dreaded to think what sensational stories would be passed around the models now. If she had any hope of getting work when Thatcher moved away, it was gone now. Her career was over before it truly began.

  “Emily and Martin had a massive fight in front of everyone.”

  “Who’s Martin?” Holly asked.

  “You know. The guy who was talking to you earlier. With the headphones.”

  Holly nodded.

  “Right. Carry on,” she said, resting her head on the bath pillow and closing her eyes.

  “William chose you. But Emily said it was against her policy. Martin stepped in and threatened to pull the plug on the show if she didn’t set you up with William on a date.”

  Holly opened her eyes with a start.

  “Wow.”

  Thatcher nodded, a little more enthusiastic now.

  “They settled on a compromise. William will take you and the brunette on a date.”

  Holly wasn’t sure whether to burst into laughter or tears.

  “You don’t look happy,” Josie said blankly.

  “Why would I be happy? Now I get another chance to make a fool of myself? This time with cameras following my every move. Yeah. I’m not interested in getting my heart broken on TV, thanks.” Holly crossed her arms and pouted. This conversation was over as far as she was concerned.

  “And that’s why we’re having this intervention,” Thatcher said, pinching the bridge of his nose. As if the situation was far more tiresome than he had expected. Holly couldn’t help but laugh. What did he think she would do? Leap for joy because the billionaire bachelor had picked her?

  “Holly, we love you. But you’ve got to stop running away from opportunities. So we’re not going to let you run away from this one,” Josie said. “Emily is going to give you a call, and you’re going to pick up and talk to her. You’re forbidden from saying no.”

  Holly frowned as she looked from Josie to Thatcher and took in their serious expressions. No. This was no joke. Before she could reply, her phone started vibrating on the floor.

  “Ah. Perfect timing.”

  Josie picked up the phone and handed it to Holly.

  “I’m in the bath!”

  The excuse didn’t work. Josie rolled her eyes and answered the call, then handed Holly the phone. Holly’s blood turned cold as she raised it to her ear.

  “Hello,” she said faintly.

  “Holly Barratt? This is Emily Stewart here.” Holly’s heart didn’t know what to do. It half sank but also quickened.

  “Hi there.”

  “Holly, against my better judgement, I am calling you to ask if you will go on a date with William Harrington.”

  Holly glanced at Thatcher and Josie who stared at her as if daring her to say no. She sighed.

  No more running, Holly.

  “I’d love to,” she forced out.

  “Great. How about Saturday?”

  “Sure.”

  “A car will come to collect you. Oh, just so we’re clear. Portions of your date will be recorded and may be aired on national TV. I’ll have my assistant send you some paperwork that must be signed and returned ASAP.”

  Holly clamped her teeth together.

  “Great,” she said.

  “Right. Well, enjoy your date and I’ll speak to you again with Mr. Harrington’s feedback.”

  Holly hung up the phone and looked at her friends incredulously.

  “Did you hear that? I’ll be given feedback! Like it’s going to be a job interview.”

  Josie and Thatcher ignored Holly and gave each other a high-five.

  “I’m proud of you,” Thatcher said, rising to his feet. “Now my job is done. I’ll leave you to enjoy your bath.” He waved and marched out. Meanwhile, Josie shook her head, and her dark hair swished across her face.

  “I can’t believe you’re going on a date with a billionaire,” she said with a giggle. Holly gave a fake laugh in return.

  “Yeah. Sure. It’s great,” she lied. Josie picked up on her false tone and turned serious again.

  “Promise me you won’t back out. I am living vicariously through your glamorous life, you know. Don’t let me down.”

  Holly splashed her and smirked.

  “Get out,” she said through a chuckle.

&nbs
p; “Fine. Fine. But if you stay in that bath any longer, you’ll turn into a shrivelled-up prune!” she shouted back as she left the bathroom.

  Holly slid under the bubbles and immersed herself in lukewarm water to hide her squeal. Despite the odd set up and her misgivings, the thought of going on a date with William had her heart racing.

  Chapter 8

  Saturday arrived, and Holly stood in the living area, with Thatcher and Josie sitting on the couch singing her praises.

  “You’ve got nothing to worry about. You look drop dead gorgeous in that denim dress,” Josie said, her hands clasped and a look of pride on her face. Thatcher nodded along, cradling a mug of steaming coffee in his hands.

  “The black ankle boots were a nice touch Josie,” he said with approval. Josie flicked her hair back and sat up prim and proper.

  “I know. And Thatcher, I love what you did with her hair, those loose curls are dreamy.”

  “Working with models for the past decade… I may have picked up a thing or two,” Thatcher said with a bashful grin. Holly smiled to herself as she watched her two best friends talk to each other as if she was invisible. It was refreshing to see them getting along. Ordinarily, the two of them bickered about everything. She wondered if they had made a secret pact.

  “Are you two finished? The car will be here any minute.” She rolled her eyes and feigned annoyance. But part of her was heartened by the lengths her friends had taken to get her ready for the big date.

  “Just let me take a quick picture,” Thatcher said, putting his mug down on the coffee table and lifting his camera.

  “Hey, haven’t you heard of a coaster?” Josie leapt to her feet and picked the mug up. She shot a look at Thatcher, who ignored her and started snapping away. Holly smirked at the exchange.

  Josie tiptoed to the window and gasped.

  “There’s a limousine waiting outside––and a camera crew just got out!” She hopped from foot to foot with an excited scream.

  “Calm down. You’re making Holly nervous,” Thatcher said, ruffling his red hair.

  “I’m not nervous,” Holly said blankly. Thatcher ignored her and fiddled with his camera instead. Josie handed Holly her purse.

  “Do you want me to walk out with you?” she asked in a breathy voice, eyes shining. Holly shook her head and pulled her in for a hug.

  “Thanks for your help. I’ll see you later,” she said.

  Holly was jittery as she walked out of her apartment but did her best to remain cool and collected as she approached a group of men that were standing on the sidewalk, looking at her.

  “Ms. Barratt. I’m Mr. Fisher. I’m here to take you to your date,” the driver held out his hand and gestured to the open car door.

  “Thanks,” Holly said, trying to ignore the cameras.

  She did her very best to slide into the car without having a wardrobe malfunction and successfully fastened her seatbelt without making a fool of herself.

  Well. That’s a start.

  The car pulled up outside Central park and Holly’s stomach flipped over itself. The door opened, and Holly took the driver’s gloved hand and climbed out. She shielded her eyes from the sunshine and looked around the busy sidewalk.

  “Now, what we want you to do, is walk up to William, kiss him on each cheek and say, ‘Nice to see you again.’ Then take his hand and walk into the park together,” a cameraman said.

  “Okay,” Holly said slowly. She was not liking how artificial this set up was. She looked ahead to see William, standing strong and tall, framed in sunlight. He gave her a small wave. She smiled back.

  “Three, two, one… and action.”

  Holly did her best impression of a catwalk model, placing one boot in front of the other and clutching her purse like her life depended on it.

  “Hi Holly, you look beautiful,” William said, stooping down to kiss her. They pecked each other on each cheek and Holly put on her biggest smile.

  “Hey William. It’s nice to see you again,” she said in a voice an octave higher than her own.

  “You too. Are you ready to have some fun?” William asked.

  Holly nodded, took his hand and gave it a squeeze. Then the two of them started walking to the park.

  “Great. Now, just do it again one more time.”

  Holly frowned.

  “What?” she said, turning back to the cameras. She let go of William’s hand and the two of them shared a puzzled look.

  “If it means I get to kiss you again, I won’t complain,” he said with a slight shrug. Holly blushed.

  They repeated the greeting four times until the director was happy. Then they staged some playful banter and a carriage ride. William was a natural, even with the cameras hovering around. Not once did he seem wooden or shy. Nor did he pay any attention to his surroundings. Holly could imagine him in the midst of a tropical storm, with hundreds of people running around him, arms flailing. He would be stood with his hands in his pockets wondering what all the fuss was about.

  It made Holly relax. She enjoyed sitting next to him in the carriage. He pointed things out and gave her commentary as the carriage did a loop. Holly tried to listen, but found herself in a daze. William’s words were floating above her head, not even reaching her ears. She hummed and nodded along, but was secretly savouring the moment.

  Happy with the footage, the director allowed them to have a real date, without the cameras following their every move.

  “Have you ever been in a hot air balloon?” William asked once they were alone. Holly noticed they were still holding hands and was surprised at how comfortable it was.

  “No, but if it gets us away from people, I’m up for it,” she replied. William squeezed her hand.

  “Agreed.”

  They turned a corner and Holly gasped at the sight of a huge hot air balloon towering over them. A man stood inside and smiled at them expectantly.

  “Want a ride?”

  William helped Holly into the basket and the gentleman pulled a chain. A blast of gas sent the balloon rising off the ground. Holly clutched William’s arm and yelped.

  “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights?” he said with a smirk. Holly gave him a guilty grin as she bit her lip.

  “Only a little.”

  William brushed her hair away from her shoulder and rested a hand on her back.

  “Why don’t we talk about something to get your mind off it?” he suggested. Holly swallowed.

  “Good idea,” she said. “How about you start. What do you do for a living?”

  William chuckled to himself. But Holly cocked her head to the side and frowned. This was the second time she was missing one of his jokes.

  “I’m a jack of all trades,” he said finally. “I design apps and then sell them on. I dabble in the stock market. And I invest in businesses.”

  “Wow. Sounds like you’re a busy man,” Holly said. She gripped the edge of the basket and dared to look down. They had flown so high, the trees looked like broccoli florets and the people were like ants crawling along the paths.

  “Yikes,” she said. Her palms were sweating now and her knees were shaking. William nudged her.

  “Hey,” he said, and rested his finger under her chin. Holly looked at him and focused on his eyes instead. His breath tickled her face and Holly’s knees grew even weaker.

  “I find it is always better to look up,” William said softly. Then he tilted her head upwards ever so gently. When she moved her gaze away from his handsome face, she caught sight of the fiery inferno burning above their heads. Her eyes widened in horror and she gasped.

  “Nope. That’s worse. Much worse.”

  William followed her line of sight and shook his head.

  “That played out differently in my head,” he said. “I mean, look out at the sky.”

  He pointed and Holly looked out.

  The sun was setting and the sky had turned a delicious shade of orange. Cute fluffy clouds hung like cotton candy and a flock of seagulls cr
ossed the sky, honking in the distance.

  “Oh. That’s better,” Holly said in a hushed voice. The two of them stared at the beautiful sky like two lovers admiring an exquisite painting in an art gallery. William slinked his arm around her waist and Holly settled her head on his shoulder.

  Being with William was warm. Comfortable. Like coming home after a long day at work. Her mind returned to Emily and their compatibility score.

  “Tell me something,” she said, lifting her head to look at William. “If an app says we’re incompatible, why does this feel so right?”

  William’s cheeks lifted and his eyes sparkled.

  “I don’t know,” he said simply. “But I’m glad it’s not just me enjoying this.”

  The two of them settled into a happy silence as the balloon descended to the ground once more. It bumped as it met the grass, knocking Holly into William’s torso. He automatically grabbed her arms to stop her falling even further. She looked up, her face just inches away from his. Kissing him would have been easy. All she’d have to do was rise on her tip toes. She wondered what his plump lips would taste like. And whether he would slide his tongue along her bottom lip.

  But the gentleman in the balloon cleared his throat and Holly jumped back like she had been struck by lightning.

  They filed out of the hot air balloon and found the camera crew waiting for them.

  “Time to record your interviews,” the director announced. Holly’s shoulders slumped. She had forgotten about the TV show. This was the part where she would tell the cameras what a dreamy date they had and how much she hoped William would choose to date her again.

  Even though it would be telling the truth, saying it to a camera multiple times made it sound contrived. Just as they were about to part ways, William pulled on Holly’s hand and leaned into her ear.

  “After this, how about I take you on a proper date?”

  The question brought a smile to Holly’s face.

  “What did you have in mind?” she asked, trying to act coy. William’s brows knitted together then he broke into a grin.

  “How do you feel about breaking the law?”

  Chapter 9