The Funny Thing about Love: Feel Good Sweet Romance stories

by Laura Burton

  Mom rolled her eyes. “He’s just obsessed. I’m proud of him, of course. But the Marines are his life, Julia. His whole life.”

  “Good tie-in to my next question, Mrs. W. Tell me, Dex, when was the last time you went out on a date?”

  My mom snickered and then covered her hand with her mouth. “Sorry.”

  “It’s been a few years,” I replied.

  Julia gasped. “A few years? Are you kidding me? Mrs. W, you said he hadn’t had a girlfriend in a while but a few years without a date is just bizarre. I mean ... look at this guy.”

  I frowned. “I’ve been busy.”

  “Why do you think you haven’t had a date in a few years?” she asked.

  “Uh, hmm. I’ve been very career-focused.”

  She scribbled on her paper again. “I see. Tell me more about that. What exactly do you do with the Marines? How long have you been doing it? Are you close to retirement?”

  Nodding, I relaxed a bit. If there was one thing I could talk about, it was my job. “I’m a cybersecurity technician stationed at Camp Pendleton. It’s my job to advise the base commander that our comms and systems are secure, maintain data network security measures, detect network intrusion, do computer forensics—”

  Julia held up a hand. “I’m gonna stop you right there. Mom, he’s a bit of a computer geek, then?”

  My mom smiled and patted my shoulder. “He is. His father was the same way. May he rest in peace.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss,” Julia said. “Was he a Marine, too?”

  “No,” Mom said, waving her hand. “He built up his fortune in IT and was shocked when Dex wanted to join up at eighteen instead of coming to work for him at his company.”

  Julia’s eagle eyes landed on me. “That’s an interesting twist. You could have been under Daddy’s wing but you wanted to make your own way?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “And you still wound up in IT, with the Marines.”

  I nodded. “Yes, and when I retire in three years, I plan to use my trust money to start my own cybersecurity firm.”

  “The trust fund is the reason we’re here, actually.” My mom leaned forward. “You see, when my husband created the trust, he stipulated that Dex would receive the funds when he either got married and stayed married for one year or when he turned thirty-five. Whichever happened first.”

  “And how old are you now, Dex?” Julia asked.

  “I’m thirty-five, ma’am.”

  She whistled. “You know, most men would have put a ring on a good friend and stayed married on paper for a year so they could get their money.”

  I shrugged. “That wouldn’t have been right. I knew I’d turn thirty-five eventually.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Julia took more notes, her brow raised. “What’s the Marine Corps motto? Something about honor?”

  “Semper Fidelis, ma’am. It means ‘always faithful.’”

  “And you seem to be all that and more.” Julia eyed me up and down, then dropped her pen and folded her hands in front of her. “Dex, you seem to be highly intelligent, you have a firm handshake, which bodes well for your masculinity, you have piercing blue eyes, a clean shave, broad shoulders, and huge biceps for a computer geek. I’m not really sure why I should take you on as a client. What’s the deal, Mom? Why did you hire me for Dex? Why can’t he find his own girls?”

  Mom pursed her lips. “I think he needs a push to make it a priority. He’s always so focused on work that he never stops to smell the roses. He’s brilliant. He’s successful. He’s already had an amazing career in the Marines, and he’s got big things planned for his future. But he goes home to an empty house every night and doesn’t seem to care about changing that. And after his father died and then he gets his trust fund purely because he aged into it rather than him finding love and settling down, well, it just makes me sad. I don’t want to think that if I die, he’ll be all alone. I want to go in peace knowing he’ll be happy and starting a family.”

  Julia’s eyes widened and she turned back to me. “Eesh, Dex. Suddenly it makes sense why you let your mom hire a matchmaker for you. That mom guilt is intense.”

  For the first time that morning, I genuinely smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Well, that’s a good thing, because whenever a rich mom brings her son in here for my services, I always like to find out what that says about him. In your case, it says you love your mom, and when you love someone, you’re willing to get uncomfortable if it means making them happy.”

  I looked at my mom, meeting her blue eyes that matched mine. “Yes, ma’am.”

  Amy

  “Thank you both for joining me,” Julia said, lacing her perfectly manicured fingers together and resting her hands on the desk in front of her. “I know there have been rumors floating around that I’m retiring, so I wanted to bring you in here and set you straight.”

  It took every ounce of self-control to sit still as I waited. Julia was right, rumors about her stepping down as CEO of First Comes Love had been circulating for almost a year. But this was the first time I’d heard her acknowledge them, and it was like she was giving wings to my dreams of running this company someday. I’d been one of five lead matchmakers for seven years now, after working my way up from the best coffee girl this club had ever seen.

  I wanted nothing more than for my boss—and loving aunt—to choose me as her successor. But if that was what she was about to do, why was Belinda here? I cast a quick glance in her direction, noticing the tight-lipped smile on her round face. She was likely wondering the same thing about me. Belinda had been at First Comes Love for twenty-five years. Plus, she and Julia were best friends. I was a rock star at finding love for the singles of Southern California, but if anyone had a leg up on me, it was Belinda. Even if she hadn’t changed her hairstyle since the ’80s.

  “As you both know,” Julia said, “First Comes Love is my baby. I don’t have any children, but this business was born out of a love for love. I have raised it right, and now it’s a multimillion-dollar enterprise. Over the last twenty-five years, this company has found matches for over twenty thousand clients. Many of whom are still together.”

  At up to five-thousand dollars per client—depending on what package they chose—my stomach flipped as I calculated what that meant as far as the finances for the company. I tucked a loose strand of my long, brown hair behind my ear, suddenly feeling nervous. With such an astounding reputation in this space, I only hoped that as the new CEO, I’d be able to maintain that kind of track record and keep First Comes Love as the premier matchmaking service it was.

  “You two are my best and most senior matchmakers,” Julia continued. “Belinda, you’ve been with me since the very beginning, when First Comes Love was just me and my Rolodex.”

  “And I’ve loved every minute of it,” Belinda said, her tone sickly sweet.

  “Amy, you know I love you like a daughter. You may be my niece, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t offered to buy you from your mom a time or two.”

  I laughed, knowing she probably had. And my mom might have even told her she could during some of my more—ahem—rebellious stages in life. “I love you, too.”

  Julia held up a bejeweled finger. “But that doesn’t mean you’ve had anything handed to you. Oh, no. You worked your booty off to get to the senior matchmaker level. You’ve earned your place at the top, girl.”

  “Thank you,” I replied, unable to stop myself from sitting up straighter in my seat.

  “Which brings me to the retirement stuff. Honestly, I never thought I’d leave First Comes Love. But Bill ... well, he’s been a patient man all these years. And now that he’s retired from his firm, he wants to travel. I’m not saying he gave me an ultimatum or anything, because you know mama doesn’t play.”

  “Amen,” Belinda said, raising a hand.

  “But still, I think it’s about time I start thinking about hanging up my magic wand and letting someone else be the all-powerful fairy godmother.
”

  I kept my composure only because I was the ultimate professional. But my whole body was tingling at the possibility of her passing that wand over to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Belinda shift in her seat slightly, as if she were also getting excited. Ugh, if Julia made Belinda my boss, I wasn’t sure I could handle it.

  “That being said, I honestly don’t think I could choose between the two of you. You’re both smart, sassy, and classy. You’ve proven yourself to be fabulous matchmakers, and I have no doubt that either of you could run this company and keep its legacy intact.”

  Belinda and I shared a polite smile, then turned back to Julia.

  I held back a sigh. “So, we’d be … co-CEOs?”

  “Not exactly,” Julia replied.

  “Right, so, only one of us would be CEO,” Belinda said with a hand on her heart, then gestured to me, “and the other one of us would be …?”

  Julia steepled her fingers in front of her. “I think the best way to handle this would be a little friendly competition.”

  “A what?”

  “Excuse me?”

  Belinda and I never agreed on anything, but the idea of us competing for the CEO position was equally appalling for us both.

  “I’ll start by saying that if the parameters of the competition aren’t met, I won’t be stepping down,” Julia warned.

  My brow rose. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I told Bill I would consider letting go of the reins. But if I don’t feel like either one of you is ready to take over, I’m not going to hand over my company just because he wants to take a forty-seven-night cruise, heaven help me.”

  “Gotcha,” I grimaced. Being someone who got seasick, that sounded terrible.

  “So, we’ll see how this goes. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll try again next year. I’ve recently met with some new clients, and I’ve handpicked three of them for each of you.” Julia placed her hands on two short stacks of pink client portfolios and slid them towards us. “Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find a match for all three clients. We guarantee our clients a match within twelve dates.”

  “Sounds easy enough,” Belinda said.

  “Ah, but there’s a twist. You two are the crème de la crème. Of course you can do it in twelve dates. So, for this competition, the winner will have three matches in the fewest combined number of dates. You’ll have to be super targeted during your recruiting stage. No throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping it sticks. Sound good?”

  Since I never did the spaghetti-at-the-wall approach, I was fine with that. I nodded. “Sounds great.”

  “Belinda?” Julia turned to her friend.

  The older woman patted her heavily hair-sprayed do. “I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”

  “Perfect.” Julia handed us each our stack of client portfolios and wagged her perfectly plucked eyebrows. “Let the games begin.”

  Dex

  I didn’t pay any attention to her when she bumped into me as I stood in line for coffee, but that changed when they called my name and she stepped forward to take my drink from the counter. Her long brown hair was braided over one shoulder, she wore a black blazer with her jeans, and her full lips were painted the same dark-pink color as the flowers on her shirt. She picked up the paper cup from the counter where the barista had placed it.

  “Ma’am,” I said, pointing at the cup. “I think that’s mine.”

  “Is it?” she asked, turning the cup to read my name scrawled in black Sharpie on the side. “Ah, would that make you Dex?”

  I gave her a single nod. “It would.”

  She pulled the cardboard sleeve down to see the markings written by the barista. “And let’s see, Dex likes his coffee black with two sugars. Interesting.”

  Again, I nodded, looking around. I couldn’t afford to let a disruption make me late for my appointment, even one as attractive as this. The matchmaker from First Comes Love would be here any minute, and I didn’t want my first impression to be that I couldn’t show up on time. I wasn’t sure what the guy expected of me or already knew about me from Julia, but I was not the type to be late.

  “Psst.” She tapped her toe. “Don’t you want to know why that’s interesting?”

  “Not particularly.”

  Her mouth popped open. “Really?”

  “Ma’am, I’m sorry. I have an appointment and you’re holding my coffee hostage,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. Before she could reply, the barista called out the name Amy, and I saw a slight twitch in her brow. “Is that you? Amy?”

  She smiled tightly. “It is.”

  I reached for her cup, pulled down the cardboard sleeve, but found myself unable to decipher the markings. “I don’t even know what this means.”

  “It’s a single dirty Chai with three pumps of vanilla.”

  “Right,” I said, plucking my cup out of her hand and replacing it with hers. “Well, have a good day.”

  She smirked. “I sure will.”

  With one last nod, I turned away with my coffee, and checked my watch. Thankfully, I wasn’t late. I had no idea what my matchmaker looked like, but he likely had a file on me with one of those eight-by-ten photos I’d seen at First Comes Love, so he’d find me. I took a seat at a table in the corner—as far as I could get from any listening ears—and decided to take a quick look through my e-mails on my phone while I waited. But before I could even open the app, Amy sauntered over and took a seat across from me. This woman.

  “Ma’am.”

  “Oh, stop calling me ‘ma’am.’” She waved a hand and slid into the chair across from me, making herself right at home. “Call me Amy. I know it’s a sign of respect and you’ve been a Marine for so long it’s probably branded into your brain. But we can’t have any formalities between us. Especially since I’m going to get really personal really quickly.”

  Understanding washed over me. “You’re the matchmaker?”

  “You’re surprised?”

  “Kinda, yeah. I guess I just figured that when Julia said she had the perfect matchmaker for me, it would be a guy.”

  She cocked a brow. “And why is that?”

  “I don’t know. She said all this stuff about the matchmaker-client relationship being very ... as you said, personal. That my matchmaker would try to dig deep so I’d get the best match possible.”

  “And you figured a man would be able to understand you better than a woman could?”

  I tilted my head, sensing a trap. “I figure men understand men, and women understand women. But we baffle the heck out of each other.”

  She grinned. “You’re not wrong. But you don’t baffle me, Dex. I can handle you just fine. I’m the best of the best at First Comes Love, and probably even in the entire state of California. But they don’t have Olympics for matchmakers so I don’t have any gold medals to show off. You’ll just have to take my word for it.”

  I swallowed back a laugh. “Well, all right then. Why was my coffee order so ‘interesting’? You know, since you’re ‘the great and powerful Oz’?”

  “Black coffee tells me you’re straightforward, you like to keep things simple, and you’re a fan of minimalism. Is it light roast or dark roast?”

  “Dark.”

  “You’re intense, complex, and you care about details. The two sugars, however, mean you crave a little bit of sweetness in your life.”

  For a moment, we just kind of sat there, looking at each other. Her big brown eyes held mine. She was confident, that was for sure.

  “The only problem is,” she continued, taking a sip of her own drink, “you don’t want it that bad, or you wouldn’t have messed up a perfect opportunity to flirt with a woman who was clearly trying to get your attention.”

  My brows snapped together and I looked over her shoulder at the counter, gesturing to it with my hand. “Over there? You?”

  “Yes, me. In fact, I bumped into you in line and tried to catch your eye then but you just politely excused yours
elf as if it were your fault. Between that and the missed connection over the coffee mix-up, I think I’ve got my work cut out for me.”

  “Well, I had an appointment. I don’t like to be late.”

  “Exactly. You value many things over your love life.” She pulled a file out of the briefcase next to her chair and thumbed through it. “So much so that you waited until you were thirty-five to gain a sizable fortune from your father just because you didn’t want to get married?”

  “No, it was because I didn’t find anyone I wanted to be married to.”

  “Well, how hard did you look?”

  I took a drink of my coffee.

  “Right,” she said, looking through the file again and then snapping it shut and placing it on the table between us. “So, here’s how this is going to work. I already have the dating profile you completed at the office the other day, but I want more details about your dating history, preferences in a partner, priorities when it comes to relationships, and goals for the future. I’ll use all of this information while I search and screen your potential matches.”

  “Okay.” Filling out the questionnaire in Julia’s office that day had been bad enough, but the idea of going over all of that in more detail with Amy was setting me on edge. I didn’t like to talk about this stuff—or even think about it, really. I’d mentally prepared myself to talk about what I wanted in a woman with another man, not with a woman who was pretty darn close to fitting the bill herself.

  “After that, you’ll have your first date,” she said.

  I swallowed and shifted in my seat. “My first date?”

  “Yep. We plan the dates, you’ll show up, meet your match, and see if you guys hit it off. We’ll talk about potential date locations during this initial phase, too. I believe in getting out of your comfort zone to bond with a woman, but I don’t believe in making my clients look stupid in front of their date. My job is to take this whole I’m too cool for love vibe you have going on and turn it into something worth writing a romance novel about.”