The Funny Thing about Love: Feel Good Sweet Romance stories

by Laura Burton

  “So, this is like a business lunch?” I asked.

  “Just think of it as a repeat of that first meeting over coffee where you asked about all of my preferences.” He pointed to the leather portfolio I always carried. “And this time, when you write it all down, don’t lose your notes.”

  I made a face at him and tightened my grip on my folder. “I would never. This thing is my life. I never let it out of my sight.”

  Dex scrunched up his nose. “You don’t back anything up on an external hard drive? Or the cloud? Seriously, what if you actually did lose that thing?”

  “Shh, don’t even speak that into the universe. I like writing things down with a pen. And clearly, I can’t trust computers. Look what’s happening with the glitches with your dates.”

  “I don’t know what kind of network you’re running, but I’m sure I could get to the bottom of it if you wanna let me under the hood.”

  We made eye contact then, and I saw the look of horror in his eyes as his cheeks flushed pink. He looked away, and I decided not to laugh out loud at the way his simple statement had sounded like an innuendo. I was a professional, after all, and snort-laughing at my client wasn’t a professional demeanor. Even if I did find him adorable.

  “We have an IT department,” I said seriously, covering my lips with my hand to disguise my smile. “But thank you.”

  He cleared his throat. “Any time. Uh, corn dog or turkey leg for lunch?”

  We made small talk while we waited in line for our carnival food, then chose a picnic table in the shade to eat. In the ten minutes since I’d agreed to share a meal with Dex while I waited for my next clients to show up, I’d regretted it no less than ten times. In my seven years as a matchmaker for First Comes Love, I’d never spent time with a client outside of an official meeting. Why I was doing it now was completely beyond me.

  “So,” Dex said, putting down the massive turkey leg and wiping his hands on his napkin, “tell me about the woman I almost went on a date with today, but Jordan showed up instead.”

  “Well, her name is Erin. I’ll definitely save her for your next date. I think you’ll really click well with her. She works remotely in software development, so she’s able to work from anywhere she has an internet connection. Or, I guess, anywhere she has a phone signal, since she could always use her hotspot.”

  Dex shrugged. “Depends on how sensitive the data is she’s working on. She might need something more secure.”

  “Right.” I pursed my lips to keep from chuckling. “Also, she loves to give back and volunteer her time for various local organizations. And she wants children, which I imagine was the thing that ended your date with Jordan.”

  “Yep.” He took a bite of the turkey leg, which was comically big and messy. “How did you know?”

  “I knew it would be the deal breaker if it came up.” I took a sip from my water bottle, careful not to let the condensation drip down the front of my dress. “She is vehemently against having kids. One mention of settling down from you probably sent her running. Am I right?”

  “You are.”

  “She’ll find her match eventually. Plenty of guys out there who don’t want kids.”

  He wiped his hands on his napkin. “I guess I didn’t realize how important it was to me until I noticed how against it she was.”

  “Did you and Harumi plan to have kids?” I asked. His eyes flashed up to mine and I could see the hurt in them. It was old, sure. But it was there. “Sorry if that struck a nerve.”

  “Well, like we said, this is a business meeting. And we’ve already talked about her once, so it’s fine. And yes, we planned to have a family. She was very traditional in her thinking about kids. She wanted to stay home and raise kids while I worked. And she was homeschooled by her mom, so she wanted to homeschool her kids, too.”

  “How did you feel about that?”

  He shrugged. “I felt great about it. Because she did. If she wanted the opposite—that is, if she wanted to work full-time and put the kids in public school—I would have been great with that, too. I was just happy to be with her. Besides, she was my first … well, everything. So, I would have been happy if she told me she wanted to move the kids to Mars.”

  My heart ached for him. He was so genuine and honest. He didn’t hold anything back to seem cool or hard. He was exactly who he was, and he wasn’t afraid to be himself. I admired that. Being a matchmaker meant having a front-row seat to the way people acted while looking for a partner. There were singles who were so desperate for love that they were willing to change everything about themselves. A lesser man would have leaned into Ania’s questions about his money just to have a shot with her. He could have lied to Jordan about whether or not he wanted kids just to see if they could make it work anyway.

  The importance of giving Dex better matches for his future dates had never been more imperative. He deserved it. Plus of course, I had two wasted dates on my record as far as the competition went. Not only that, but I had another client with glitchy dates, as well. This whole situation was not ideal.

  “Dex, you have to level with me.”

  “About what?”

  “Why are you really single?”

  He snickered. “I already answered this one.”

  “I just don’t get it. Walk me through it. You didn’t date in high school because you had the whole nerdy thing going. Zelda and all that.”

  “Uh-huh,” he confirmed, chewing another bite of food.

  “And then there was Harumi.”

  He swallowed and nodded.

  “And then, for the last nine years, you just didn’t even try to find love?”

  “It didn’t work out last time,” he said, simply. “Why bother?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Really?”

  “What?”

  “It didn’t work out so you just give up? You don’t strike me as the type to give up.”

  He snorted. “By my calculations, the effort wasn’t worth the reward, if the reward was going to end poorly.”

  I couldn’t help but get lost in his gaze for a moment, then shook my head. “Not every relationship ends poorly.”

  “Have you ever had one that didn’t?”

  My brow furrowed. “We don’t talk about me.”

  The curiosity was plain on his face, like I was a puzzle he wanted to put together. But then his eyes softened like he wouldn’t push the subject if I didn’t want to talk about it. He tossed his napkin on his plate and pushed it to the side, finished with his meal. “I see. Well, now you know why I didn’t try again.”

  “Until now.”

  “Until now,” he confirmed.

  I leaned forward on the picnic table. “I know you’re only here because your mother bought the VIP package with First Comes Love. But let me ask you this: do you really believe you’ll find love?”

  He seemed to be considering me—and my question—before he answered. Uncomfortable under his steady gaze, I went to take a sip from my water bottle again. But I wasn’t paying attention and I knocked it over. The lid was on, thank goodness, but we both stuck our hands out to catch it before it rolled off the table. My hand clasped the bottle first, and then his covered mine, holding it there. When his skin connected with mine, it was like a shock ran through me. His large hand wasn’t warm or cold, it wasn’t that I was registering its temperature or even its texture. It was like it was made of electrical currents and I was being jolted alive. Goose bumps ran up my arm, and the air between us seemed to crackle and burn.

  He looked down at his hand still holding mine and that perfect mouth sort of quirked up like he was surprised about something. And then he let go. “Uh, yeah, I think I might.”

  Dex

  “Hi, I’m Erin,” she said, sticking out her hand for me to shake.

  I shook her hand, glancing quickly above her head and noticing Amy lurking nearby. She nodded once and gave me a small smile, which I took to mean that this was in fact the correct match for our date. I gave her an a
lmost imperceptible nod in return, and then met Erin’s pretty brown eyes behind her black-rimmed glasses.

  I let go of her hand, noticing that it felt the same way it had with Ania and Jordan. And that meant it was the exact opposite feeling of when I’d held Amy’s hand after she’d knocked over her water bottle. That had happened a week ago now and I could still feel the magnetic pull toward her. It was the reason I’d found excuses to text her several times since then. Was it my fault that those texts always led to longer conversations between us than were probably allowed? Yeah. Was I going to stop doing it? Absolutely not.

  “Dex,” I replied. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  Erin looked up at the sign for the Birch Aquarium. “Thanks for driving all the way down here. Amy told me you live in Oceanside.”

  I smiled. “I do, and it’s no trouble.”

  “You’re a Marine stationed at Pendleton?”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  She grinned. “Couldn’t tell.”

  I handed the tickets Amy had given me to the employee working at the aquarium. He tore them, handed us back the stubs, and directed us to the entrance. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been to an aquarium, but I had to give Amy credit for the date idea. Between this and the carnival, I could tell she was the kind of woman who liked to think outside the box.

  Not that I should be thinking about what kind of woman she was. Amy was my matchmaker—the one who was supposed to find me a match. Falling for her just seemed … cheesy. It seemed like something every other guy probably did, especially considering how gorgeous she was. I wouldn’t be surprised if all of her male clients had developed a crush on her at one point or another. And now that I thought about it, Amy probably hated it when that happened. Did they invite her to hang out with them after their dates like I had after the carnival? And if they did, did she always say yes, or did she only say yes to me because it was me?

  “So,” Erin started, breaking me from my reverie, “have you been here before?”

  I shook my head. “First time. You?”

  “I’ve been here a few times. I live just down the street in La Jolla.”

  “La Jolla is a nice area. I’ve been there a few times,” I said. And since it would be wrong of me to approach this dating situation in any way other than thinking about the future, my mind flashed to the idea of moving there when I got out of the Marines. “I could see myself living there.”

  Her gaze flicked up to meet mine, and she blushed. “It’s a nice place to live.”

  I returned her smile, hoping I didn’t look as nervous as I felt. I wondered if I’d been too forward with that comment. I had no idea which topics were too soon or off-limits for a first date. I made a mental note to keep the talk of the future to a minimum, just in case.

  For the next few minutes, we strolled along, making small talk about the various oceanography displays. Erin seemed genuinely interested in the science of it all, not just the pretty fish. I noticed that the exhibits that caught her interest the most were the ones that explained how things worked. I had to hand it to Amy. It was early still, but if the beginning of our date was any indication, Erin seemed like my first good match. I guessed one-for-three wasn’t that bad.

  “How long have you been a Marine?” Erin asked as we meandered along, examining the colorful fish as we walked by.

  “Seventeen years.”

  “Wow.” She drew out the word. “I’ll admit, I really wasn’t sure why Amy thought I’d make a good match for a Marine until she told me you were a computer geek.”

  I chuckled. “Did she use those exact words? ‘Computer geek’?”

  “I may have been paraphrasing.”

  “Oh, okay,” I replied, almost disappointed. For some reason, I liked the idea of Amy calling me a computer geek. In the same way I’d liked it when she’d called me Gunnery Sergeant Computer Crimes Guy. It had a certain ring to it. I shook my head. I needed to focus on Erin, and what she called me, not Amy. “She mentioned you’re in software development and you work from home?”

  Erin’s pretty face lit up. “Yes, and I love being able to take my computer outside and enjoy this Southern California weather. Perfect, all year long. My family is from the East Coast. After going to college out here, I couldn’t go back. I’m not your average nerd who likes to stay inside. I love the fresh air.”

  I could relate to that. After working inside chilly server rooms and offices all week, I usually opted to spend my weekends outdoors. “Do you like to hike?”

  “I do.”

  “Maybe we can do that next time.” My confidence grew as I saw her blush in reply. “That is, if we both tell Amy it’s a good match and she books us for a second date.”

  “The odds are in our favor, from what I can tell so far.”

  “Same here.” Before an awkward silence could grow out of the nice moment, I racked my brain for another topic. “So, why didn’t you think you’d want to date a Marine?”

  She bit her lip. “I don’t want to offend you.”

  “I have pretty thick skin.”

  “Okay. But just remember, you asked for it.”

  I nodded. “I’m ready.”

  She poked my bicep. “Physically, you’re exactly what I pictured. It’s a stereotypical look. I guess I just didn’t expect you to also be a nerd. It’s quite the contrast. I have to say I’m surprised. Most nerds don’t also look like they live at the gym.”

  “I don’t live at the gym.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  I sighed. “I was pretty scrawny in high school. You wanna talk about stereotypes? I was the stereotypical wimpy kid.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. My Marine recruiter found me in a video game store my junior year. He was a gamer, too. He taught me that being fit is all about math. Caloric intake, physical output ... every bit of it is achievable within a strict set of parameters. You want more muscles, here’s the formula. You want to run fast and far, here’s number of hours per week you need to practice to achieve your desired speed and stamina. It’s easy.”

  Erin snorted. “Oh, yeah. There is definitely a nerd under all of that muscle. I bet your senior year looked a little different than the rest of high school.”

  “Well, I didn’t get shoved into lockers anymore.”

  “Aw,” she covered her mouth with her hand to suppress her giggle. “I’m sorry to laugh.”

  “I like your laugh,” I said, smiling at her, and I was rewarded with yet another blush.

  Over the course of the date, I really started to enjoy myself. We liked a lot of the same things, bonded over our favorite role-playing franchises (both virtual and board games), and even discovered that we shared a lot of the same taste in sci-fi movies and TV shows. We were similar in that we were both a little bit socially awkward from the start, but once we got started talking about one of our shared interests, the fish were forgotten.

  Overall, the date seemed to be ending on a high note. That was until I found myself looking around for Amy as I headed out to my car, and being disappointed that she was nowhere in sight.

  As I pulled onto the I-5 freeway toward Oceanside, my mom called. I answered it with the hands-free button on my steering wheel. “Hey, Mom.”

  “Hey, sweetie. Did I catch you at an okay time?”

  “Yeah, I’m just on my way home.”

  “From a date?” Hope dripped from her tone.

  “Yes, Mom.”

  She let out a little squeal of delight. “How’s it all going? Any promising matches?”

  “One,” I replied, checking my blind spot before I changed lanes.

  “Just one? Goodness, out of how many?”

  “Three.”

  She tsked. “How much am I paying them again? Those aren’t the results I was expecting from the VIP package, Dex.”

  I shrugged, though she couldn’t see me. “Eh, there were some hiccups in the beginning. But if today’s date was any indication, I think they’re all worked ou
t. I bet my next match will be great, too.”

  “You mean you’re not going out on a second date with this girl?”

  I thought back to Erin’s sweet smile and the way she batted her eyelashes at me from behind her glasses. She was attractive and funny and we had so much in common. She reminded me of some of my best friends and I figured she’d probably fit in really well with our group. Especially considering her love of RPG’s in many forms. But as far as falling in love with her, there was just something … missing.

  Besides, if I stopped going on dates—if I stopped needing a matchmaker—I would also stop having a reason to talk to Amy. And I just wasn’t ready for that.

  “I’m not saying I wouldn’t go on a second date with her,” I said carefully. “But I’m still open to seeing who else Amy has for me to meet. She’s really great. I trust her judgment.”

  “Is Amy the matchmaker Julia assigned to you?”

  Warmth spread through my chest just thinking about her and I swallowed. “Yeah.”

  “Does she seem to get you, sweetheart? There’s so much more to you than meets the eye. I really hope she understands how smart you are and that you need someone who’s on your level. You’re handsome, if I do say so myself, but you don’t need a trophy wife. You need someone who can keep up with your brain.”

  I rolled my eyes, completely uncomfortable. “Yes, Mom. Amy gets me. The woman she set me up with today liked a lot of the same stuff I do. Amy and I have talked a lot about my past, too. She knows about … Japan.”

  “Did you open up about it to her? You didn’t gloss over it and try to act tough, did you? If she’s good at her job she will have seen right through that, I’m sure.”

  “I don’t know. I guess I opened up. I’m comfortable telling her stuff. When we talk it’s like she’s really trying to figure me out. You can tell she cares a lot about her job. At first, I thought it was weird to want to get in the middle of people’s business like this, but it’s not about people’s business to her. It’s about making people happy. Anyway, like I said, I trust her. We’ve been talking a lot lately.”