The Funny Thing about Love: Feel Good Sweet Romance stories

by Laura Burton

  “Ellie? You don’t have to kiss the guy if you don’t want to.” Would suit me just fine if you didn’t, as a matter of fact.

  “No—it’s not that. I just don’t want to screw it up.”

  “How on earth do you screw a kiss up, Ellie?”

  She stared up at me. “It’s been known to happen. I get to thinking, and suddenly all I can think about it is whether or not my breath smells okay or what would happen if our teeth knocked together, or—”

  I couldn’t help what happened next. Preventing this was an impossibility, and I was tired of trying. Dipping my head, I sealed her lips with my own, shutting up the flood of words pouring forth. Ellie made a noise in the back of her throat, a tiny squeak of surprise, and then she fell silent. She raised her hands and placed them on my chest, curling her fingers into my shirt. Her body was tense, but her lips were pliant beneath mine, responding to every direction. I gave her an inch of space. “Breathe, Ellie.”

  With a gasp, she inhaled, her whiskey eyes staring into mine in confusion. “Wha…what was that?”

  Reluctant, I set her away from me and ran my hand down her hair. “That was lesson two. Kissing. You passed.” I looked away, needing a minute. I wanted to kiss her again. I never wanted to stop kissing her. “Where did he say you were meeting?”

  “R-Rolands, I think.”

  “Roland’s?” I was baffled. “That place is this close to a dive.” I pinched my index finger and thumb together to illustrate.

  Ellie shrugged. “I could have misheard. It doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters. Make sure you have your phone on you and charged up.”

  Ellie yawned and refused to look at me.

  “I’m serious, Ellie. You never know what might happen and it’s smart to be prepared.”

  For the first time she appeared uneasy rather than excited. “I kind of dropped my phone in the toilet.”

  “What? When? You just texted me a little while ago!”

  “When I was trying on my clothes, I knocked it off the sink. Don’t make it into a huge thing, Madden.” She patted me on the chest and tried to squeeze by me. “The only reason I told you is because I didn’t want you to worry if you messaged and I didn’t answer. You said Gavin is a good guy, right? I’ll be fine.”

  “Hmm.” I didn’t argue, instead heading toward the door. “What time is your date?”

  Ellie sent me a sharp look. “Seven. But you’d better not—”

  “Okay. Have a wonderful time and please didn’t stay out too late.” I pointed two fingers at my eyes and then at her. “I’ll be watching.”

  And I will, I vowed as I jogged back to my house. Because I would be sitting in Roland’s, nursing a longneck and making sure Gavin Fitzhughes was a complete gentleman.

  Chapter Seven--ELLIE

  To: plyr87@gmail.com

  From: NCgirlEJ@gmail.com

  Subject: RE: email

  Dear plyr87,

  I wasn’t expecting a response, but I guess it’s the polite thing to do.

  I’m going to pretend that we’ve known each other for a lifetime, if that’s okay. I haven’t had a pen pal in a while and this has made me want one.

  Something crazy happened to me the other day. I was on the beach, and a seagull attacked me. I think it thought my hair was food or something – it did kind of look like I had honey buns over my ears.

  The funny thing was, I knew something was going to happen. I’m a little on the superstitious side, and there was this cat...but I digress.

  I have a date tonight, and while I haven’t seen any black cats around, I have that same feeling. You know the one. The “this is a terrible idea” feeling.

  But anyhoo. Wish me luck, please and thank you.

  —E

  P.S. My best friend kissed me today. You’d think it would be weird, but it wasn’t. It was…nice.

  Heat radiated from Gavin’s hand at the small of my back as he led me across the wood planked porch that fronted Roland’s. I glanced around curiously as we entered, taking in the dubious charm of the flashing fluorescent sign that read LAND’s and the upside-down horseshoe hanging over the door.

  Wait. I backed up a step and looked up at the horseshoe. It hung over the doorframe, but instead of its arms pointing up to allow good luck to enter and stay, the horseshoe was upside down. I repressed a shudder and entered LAND’s.

  I peeked up at Gavin as he pulled the seat out for me. He looked good in his jeans and plain black tee shirt. I would have pegged him as the kind of guy who dressed up more, but I guess I would have been wrong. Clearly the potential for the evening was limited, according to the horseshoe, but at least he looked nice. And maybe it was time I stopped putting so much stock in superstition, anyway. After all, Bee and Rafe’s wedding had turned out beautifully. I crossed my fingers under the table.

  Despite the faltering air conditioning system, I was glad I wore jeans. I perched on the edge of my chair, not wanting to slide into the sticky patch I had noticed when Gavin pulled it from the table for me. Gingerly, I placed my elbows on the edge of the scarred wooden tabletop and rested my chin on my hands. “So.” I let the word trail away, hoping Gavin was a better conversationalist than I was and would take the opening I left him.

  He didn’t disappoint. “So.” He sent me a blinding smile, all perfect white teeth that I was jealous of. I had a chip in one of my incisors that had always bothered me. “This place is a bit of a dive, huh? Sorry about that. The reviews said they had karaoke… didn’t mention the atmosphere.”

  Panic bubbled in my gut. “Karaoke?” With an effort, I quelled the squeak in my voice. “Do you like to sing?”

  Gavin shrugged. “Yeah, sure. I like a good time. What about you? What does Ellery James do for fun?”

  “Not karaoke.” The words popped out without thought. “I’m pretty boring,” I admitted. “I’m a teacher, so that takes a lot of time and energy. We started back up a few weeks ago.”

  “Admirable. I still remember this one math teacher I had… she was amazing.” Gavin asked me some questions about my students, but as I answered, I couldn’t shake the sense that his interest was superficial. His eyes roved the small bar, pausing here and there. I fell silent, waiting to see how long it would be before he noticed.

  He didn’t notice. Instead, he moved on to the next topic—himself. He was chief financial officer for Rafe’s company and had a wealth of interesting stories to share with me.

  Super.

  Interesting.

  Somewhere around the middle of the third story my eyes glazed over, and I set my internal autopilot to deliver the occasional hmmm or wow. It was a shame. Gavin was the trifecta of boyfriend material, with his exceptional good-looks, success, and wealth. Excellent long-term potential, if he wasn’t so dang boring.

  I almost laughed out loud when this crossed my mind. For me to find someone boring was… well, it was bad.

  It was just as well, though. I couldn’t stop thinking about Madden’s kiss, so it wasn’t as if I’d have been able to contribute much to the conversation, anyway. That kiss…it awakened something in me. Something curious. Something bold and confident that I didn’t know was lurking inside of me. I didn’t want to karaoke. I wanted to kiss.

  I wanted to kiss a lot.

  I looked at Gavin, assessing. Did I want to kiss him? His lips were full, nicely shaped. I could see him being a good kisser. If I could get past his self-absorption, that was.

  He paused when a guy walking behind me jostled my chair. I fell forward, elbows slipping off the table, and almost failed to catch myself before I fell out of my seat. I darted a look behind me, but I couldn’t be mad. I had been perched on the very edge of my chair so the rest of it was hanging out in the aisle. I scooted the chair forward and placed a napkin down on the sticky spot before reseating myself. I’d just have to be careful that I didn’t end up walking out of here with a spot on my rear.

  Gavin watched everything, waiting until I was finished settling
myself. “And now I’m involved in this thrilling new—”

  Back to the zone. To entertain myself, I added the infrequent no way and you don’t say every so often. A waitress came over with our drinks and I stirred mine with the little straw before taking a sip.

  Immediately my face screwed up. “Cheese and crackers, that’s strong.”

  “Good, huh? You ready to do this?” My date eyed me with anticipation, and I tried to recall his last few words. Karaoke. I Got You, Babe.

  “Not today, Satan,” I muttered under my breath, and rose. “I’m going to run to the bathroom.” And look for a window big enough to fling myself through.

  Gavin frowned. “Okay. Don’t take too long! I have our spot reserved.”

  With a wince, I escaped.

  The bathroom was in a small alcove connected to the primary bar area by an open-framed doorway. It was small, and regrettably devoid of windows. I took my time, laying strips of toilet paper with careful precision on the stained toilet seat and washing my hands several times. I lollygagged at the hand dryer. These things annoyed me most of the time. I could almost see the germs flying everywhere. Now, though, it was the perfect three-minute delaying tactic.

  The horseshoe omen had proven correct. He hadn’t even asked me what I wanted to drink—just ordered that awful whatever-it-was. And karaoke. I rolled my eyes heavenward. If I had my phone, I would have totally called Madden. His I told you so would be welcome. Or Vern. She’d no doubt laugh and say I needed to get out more so I had more space for comparison. Despite her being a few years younger than I was, Vern was like the island wise woman. Her café was a gossip hub for the islanders, so she ended up privy to everyone’s business, even if she eavesdropped more than she spoke.

  I shook some of the lingering moisture off of my hands as I considered my options. Madden would tell me to be blunt with Gavin. Tell him that karaoke was simply not an option.

  Okay, then. That’s what I’d do.

  Steeling myself, I stepped out of the bathroom and walked into a hard body standing outside the door. My hands flew up in reflex. “Madden? What were you doing here?” I lowered my hands and stepped back, aware of our proximity to each other in this tiny space. So close I could smell his cologne. It was nice. Cedar and bergamot? Whatever it was, he smelled good, and I opened my mouth to tell him so when I realized how screwy that would be. How intimate. Madden was my friend, not a guy I should be sniffing.

  “Just out for some karaoke,” he says, smiling down at me. “How ‘bout it, Ellie? Gonna get up on that stage and belt one out?”

  I looked at him with irritation, tugging my shirt down further on my hips. “You know me better than that,” I said. “I was just wishing I had my phone. I would’ve called you twenty minutes ago. Help me, dang it!” A quick glance over Madden’s wide shoulders showed me Gavin still at our table, studying his phone.

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “I don’t know! You’re the genius that told me to go out with him. He’s awful—although to give him the benefit of the doubt, there is an upside-down horseshoe hanging in here.”

  Madden eyed me, one eyebrow raised.

  “Bad luck-good luck?” I offered.

  He gave a slow shake of his head. “So, you think he’s awful because there’s a bad luck omen in here?”

  I shrugged. “No idea. I just know he wants me to do karaoke and he can’t find anything to talk about except himself, and there’s something sticky on my chair—”

  Madden laughed and held up a hand. “Okay, enough. I’ll be creative. Go. Sit. Madden to the rescue.”

  “My hero.” I slid past him and returned to the table.

  Gavin gave me a brief look as I seated myself and held up a finger when I opened my mouth to apologize. “Shhh…Give me one… second… there.” He smiled at me. “Thought you’d fallen in.”

  Did he really just shush me? I couldn’t remember the last time I had been angry, but annoyance made me drum my fingers on the table.

  “You ready? They held our spot open for us.”

  “Gavin. I’m not much of a karaoke person.”

  “Oh, come on. It’ll be fun.” He stood and tugged me to my feet.

  “Gavin, I’m not doing karaoke—”

  “Ellie, I’m so glad I found you!” Madden appeared from nowhere, red-faced and bent at the waist as he gasped as though he’d been running. I wondered if he had been back by the bathrooms doing jumping jacks.

  “Madden?” Covering my mouth, I feigned shock. “What on earth are you doing here, interrupting my date? You remember Gavin, right?”

  Madden grabbed and pumped Gavin’s hand twice before returning his attention to me. “Yes, yes, hi, Gabe. So sorry—”

  “It’s Gavin, actually—”

  “Right, sorry. Anyway, Ellie… it’s little Cleopatra. You have to come with me right away.”

  “Cleo—”

  “Yes, little Cleo, your sweet little kitten,” he interrupted, eyebrows wagging.

  “Oh, my gosh, what has happened to my poor Cleo?” I gripped his biceps and stared hard at his face, willing myself not to crack up. Do not laugh. Do. Not. Laugh.

  “I’m a terrible kitten-sitter. It was dumb to trust me. I was out in the yard and brought her out with me…”

  I gave Gavin a half-hearted wave as Madden placed an arm around my shoulders and led me away. Gavin’s eyes narrowed, but he waved back.

  “…anyway, there was this bird—”

  “No!” I gasped.

  Madden snorted. “Take it down a notch, Betty Grable. We’re far enough away now.”

  Outside, I collapsed against the wall in a fit of giggles. “You were amazing, Madden. Thank you. I’m so glad you were here.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Come on, kid.” Taking my hand, Madden pulled me to his truck and opened the passenger-side door for me. “Did you eat?”

  “No! He didn’t even feed me!”

  He shook his head. “Sheesh. Let’s get you taken care of, sweets.”

  The endearment was a toss-off, used with casual affection and without apparent thought. He usually called me kid, an endearment, sure, but lacking the intimacy of the other. Madden probably hadn’t even realized that he said it.

  Still, it ignited a brief glow of warmth in my chest. It made me wonder.

  I tucked the thought away for later. I would take it out when I was alone and examine it—its every nuance and possibility.

  For now, I rested my head against the leather and crossed my fingers against any more bad luck.

  Chapter Eight—Madden

  To: NCgirlEJ@gmail.com

  From: plyr87@gmail.com

  RE: stuff

  Dear E,

  Pen pals, huh? *shrugs* Sure.

  Can I just ask: why the heck would you go out on a date with some dude if you had a bad feeling about it? Trust your gut! And stand up for yourself. I’ll look forward to hearing about this later.

  So, this might be a little random, but I’m thinking about getting a dog. It’s been really quiet around here since the dog I had died a couple of years ago. He was the best, but I think I’m ready.

  Or maybe I’ll get a kitten. A sweet little furball. What do you think?

  And now on to the main part of tonight’s program. You kissed your friend. And it was nice.

  Is there a problem here, because I’m not seeing it. If he’s a friend, and you like kissing him, then kiss him some more. As a guy, that sounds win-win to me.

  Are we ready for names, E? Or, like me, would you rather continue on as mysterious strangers?

  Gavin: How’s the cat?

  The notification appeared on Ellie’s lock screen, showing just long enough for me to read before it disappeared again. Ellie was in her kitchen, grabbing lemonade for us to sip as we sat out on her patio. It was our habit to do so each afternoon after she got home after school. By that time of the day, I was usually finished with my responsibilities with a big brother group and any other charity work I was com
mitted to and was ready to chill. Ellie would mark papers and we’d chat about nothing in particular as we waited for the sun to go down.

  I settled back in the deck chair. Why was that schmuck still calling her? Surely he understood my intervention the other night for what it was.

  As if in response to my thoughts, another notification popped up and I leaned forward to read it. I had no shame where this woman was concerned.

  Gavin: If your cat is better, I thought you might like to go out this afternoon? Maybe show me the island?

  I ground my back teeth together and wished I could just answer the text. Fine, thank you. No, thank you. And NO, again.

  Maybe he’d get the point then.

  Ellie emerged, lemonade in two mason jars. I rose to help. “Your phone’s blowing up.” As I said the words, it buzzed yet again. I wasn’t close enough to read this one without being obvious, but I watched closely as Ellie picked up her phone and unlocked it.

  “It’s Gavin.”

  I know. I hummed noncommittally. “What does he want?”

  “He wanted to check in on the cat, and to hang out this afternoon.”

  Schmuck. “Wasn’t he a complete schmuck the other night?”

  “He says he’s sorry for the other night, that he hadn’t realized what a hole that place was.”

  I snorted as I sipped my drink. Ellie made the best lemonade. I wasn’t a hundred percent what she did to it, but I think it involved several lemons and a truckload of sugar. “Then he should’ve turned around and walked out.”

  Ellie caught her plump bottom lip between her teeth. “I suppose so.”

  We sat in silence for a while, and I couldn’t help thinking I was going to have to step up my game. The slow and steady approach didn’t seem to be working too well. I’d venture to say Ellie did not have a clue how I felt about her.

  “You aren’t considering going out with him again?” She didn’t answer, just lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Tell him to get lost.”