Jayne finally emerged from the bedroom looking very glam. It made me glad I hadn’t worn that stupid outfit I’d first put on. Even my current outfit seemed boring beside her.
“Shotgun,” Jayne called.
“Bitch,” said Tristan.
“Actually, I’m sitting in the front,” said Chad. “My legs won’t fit in the back.”
“Well, put them on Tristan’s lap because I called it.”
I shook my head, thankful that I was driving and out of the bickering.
Before Chad could respond, Jayne grabbed my car keys from the coffee table and bolted out the door. I laughed at the shock on Chad’s face. He’d been fooled by that move twice in one night.
Once we got in the car, Jayne and Tristan kept arguing about where we were going until I put my foot down. Driver rules. I got to decide. We were going to The Lounge.
“It’s lame,” said Tristan.
“Want some cheese to go with that whine,” said Jayne. “Anyway they play better music.”
“Yeah, they play better music.” I added.
“And they have happy hour until midnight so let’s get the hell there so I can get some cheap booze in me.”
***
We got to the club and Jayne and I hit the dance floor. If I couldn’t drink and I couldn’t pick up, I’d at least get some dance on. Hell, there were some good-looking men at the club. I tried not to make eye contact with any of them and focused on dancing with Jayne. Then Tristan joined us and we went nuts until Jayne needed a drink.
The two of us pushed our way to the bar. I still didn’t make eye contact with any of the guys, no matter how cute they were. I didn’t pause and I didn’t blink, I just walked in as much of a direct line as I could.
As we waited to get served, the guy beside me smiled. I turned my head to ignore him. If I didn’t start talking, I wouldn’t be tempted. I wouldn’t notice anything irresistibly charming about him and my heart wouldn’t flutter. That way, I’d be safe.
I figured I could take about two hours or so of it then I’d make my excuses and get out of the way of temptation. Go home and put my feet up and watch a movie like an old nanna. And think about those lovely dollars I’d have when I got to Florence. I’d be out partying with hot Italian guys who rode scooters and had manly chest hair.
“What do you want?” Jayne turned back to me, finally getting served.
“Just a Coke.”
No point wasting good money on alcohol when I didn’t plan to stick around long. I looked around for Chad but the crush of people made it impossible to see him.
Jayne turned back and handed me a glass.
“This isn’t just Coke.” I said. I didn’t even need to taste it to know that.
“Yeah, I thought you were being a bit boring.”
I sighed and took the drink, even though I didn’t want it. It was easier than arguing with Jayne. I still hadn’t spotted Chad. Suddenly the club seemed annoying. The music was too loud, the crowd too pushy. Everyone smelt sweaty or overly perfumed. I really did want to go home.
I sat my drink down on a ledge.
Jayne headed back to the dance floor and I started to follow, when someone threw their arms around me.
“Gertie, how are you?”
Gertie was the name I gave to guys sometimes. The guys you don’t want to know your real name or phone number. Wrapped in his arms, I couldn’t even see who he was and he didn’t smell familiar. All I knew was that he was pretty damn buff and he smelt of weekends in a cabin in the forest, all pine and fresh.
When he let me go, I did have a vague memory of him. Good sex but not a great conversationalist.
He grabbed me tight again and this time pressed his lips against mine. I kissed him back. It felt good to sink into his embrace, blocking out the world and letting the sensations flood through me. I didn’t need much more than that, although I could feel this cock poking into my leg and remembered he had been huge. That got all kinds of thoughts going through my head that should not be there but with my eyes closed and his tongue probing me, all I could think of was Chad.
Then I opened my eyes and realised Chad was beside me in reality.
Watching the whole thing.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I didn’t know why Chad seeing me kiss No-Name Man made me feel so bad. I’ve kissed a lot of men in my life and it meant nothing. It’s not like I was giving him a blowjob. But my heart plunged to the depths of my stomach and I couldn’t meet Chad’s eyes. A crispy burning flamed inside me. Not the good kind of burning. Maybe this was what people meant when they talked about shame.
Chad’s gaze locked onto mine and it was like the music and the lights and all the people buzzing around stopped so there was room for all the bad feels to come rushing in. Shitola, No-Name Man wasn’t even that good a kisser. He used too much tongue and his mouth had a slight tinge of garlic. He definitely didn’t make my toes curl or my heart thud.
I pushed No-Name aside like I’d been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. The ickiness spread through me as Chad walked away. I didn’t have to explain myself yet I felt I should.
I ran after him despite myself. The look in his eyes when he’d seen me made my insides cramp up more than my worst period pains. You’d think he’d have been all huzzah, I will win this shit but it was more like the look of a little kid who finds a hand-knitted sweater under the Christmas tree instead of a new bike.
The entire crowd in that club seemed to be hell-bent on keeping Chad and I apart though, getting in my way and stumbling into me. I pushed them aside, using my elbows to get leverage.
“Oi, watch it,” one guy yelled at me. I wouldn’t have even pushed him if he’d not lurched into me. He tried to block me but I dodged him.
Then another came at me with that stupid smile guys have when they are drunk and think they are being charming. He grabbed for me but I knocked his hand away. Through the lighting, I could see Chad’s head flash blue then red then disappear, appearing again somewhere else in the room. My heart boomed in beat with the bass thud.
I figured he was heading for the door so I’d head straight there and cut him off.
I tried to keep my breathing under control but I felt as if the room was closing in on me. Surely Chad wouldn’t leave. He was meant to be keeping an eye on me and he’d get no proof if he went home.
The whole night had turned into a disaster. Chad had been the one that made me come to the club and I couldn’t help it if that guy had thrown himself at me. It wasn’t like I’d sought him out. I could explain that to Chad and everything would be okay.
I finally squeezed my way to the door but saw no sign of Chad. Maybe he wasn’t leaving, maybe he’d just tried to get a better spot to take creepy photos of me as proof. Well, I’d foiled that plan. I stood on my tiptoes, trying to get a better view. Surely someone as tall as Chad couldn’t just disappear.
Then I spotted him at the coat check. And my heart jumped out of my chest. It really did. It jumped out and bounced around the room, flying off the walls.
Of course he was at the coat check. I’d forgotten he’d cloaked his jacket when we’d arrived. Jayne had been too busy trying to drag me off to the dance floor but I’d told him he was a fool and he shoulda just left his jacket in the car like a normal person.
I figured just appearing beside him was the best way to handle it.
“You leaving?” I asked.
Chad just turned and raised his eyebrow.
“Because if you are, I’d like to know. It’d give me a free pass, you see. No spying eyes on me. Just me and my libido having our party time.”
Nice job, me, on explaining things to him. I just couldn’t help myself. I thought that would get a response out of him but it didn’t.
Chad took his jacket from the coat check girl.
“I wasn’t leaving. I figured I could just wait outside and I’d see you leaving.”
“That idea is totally flawed, Chad. Holy shitola, what if I went into the ba
throom with some guy for a quickie? You’d totally miss that. Or even in one of those booths upstairs. There are plenty of dark corners up there where you can get it on without anyone seeing. Well, not much. Do you have any idea what goes on in nightclubs? Hells, I could just get it on on the dance floor. Shimmy up against someone real close and get it out of his pants and then we’d be funking it all up right there without anyone even knowing.”
Chad didn’t even react. He kept on walking out of the club. I ran down the stairs after him.
“You think this is okay? I should ring my grandmother and tell her that you are really sucking at your job. How do you think she’ll respond to that?”
A drunk stumbled passed us on his way to the club. I pressed against Chad to let the drunk squeeze through.
“Did you even see me with that guy? We were getting it on. A few minutes later and we’d have gotten into some nasty business. Stuff that you’d have definitely wanted to report on. You are the one that set this up and now you’re leaving?”
We’d got to the bottom of the stairs without Chad even answering me. Without thinking, both of us walked towards my car. I didn’t know what else to say to him. I’d never crack that calm Chad facade. He never lost his temper, he never got annoyed. He was like a rock of nothingness. The only time I’d ever seen him not in control of his feelings was when he kissed me. That had been so unlike him. He’d never kiss me again.
I shivered. It had gotten really cold outside and, of course, I didn’t have my jacket because I’d left it in the car. Still, that was better than having some dirty coat check person go through the pockets searching for drugs or money. That’s what they do when you leave your stuff there. I know because Jayne used to work as a cloak girl
Even as we walked down the street, I could still hear the pounding music of the club. Or maybe the music was from cars driving past. If I were with Jayne, they’d be yelling and cat-calling us but having Chad beside me stopped all that. A girl sat in the gutter, crying about something while her friend rubbed her back. This is why I don’t like drinking.
I tried to shiver more noticeably. Maybe Chad would offer me his jacket and that would warm me up. But he just kept staring straight ahead and walking as though he didn’t even realise I was beside him.
Lights twinkled in the trees above us, and the smell of souvlaki cooking filled the air. I noticed our footsteps fell in time with each other as we walked side by side without talking. An old man sat on the street corner with his hand out for money. Chad took a couple of coins from his pocket and dropped them in the man’s hand. See, I’d have just walked on by without making eye contact.
We got to the car.
I sat in the driver seat, not moving. I wanted to know what Chad’s plan was. He was playing some game for sure. I just had to work out what.
“You said you were going to wait outside to see if I left with anyone and now you’re going home?”
“I don’t need to wait outside the club because you are here with me.”
Damn, I hadn’t thought of that. He’d totally brainwashed me into leaving with him. But that went against all the rules. He should be encouraging me to break the agreement. He really did think he could outsmart me.
“I don’t get you, Chad.”
I started up the car. At least I had an excuse to leave the club. That was a good thing. I’d message Jayne when I got home and tell her I’d left then get into my PJs. Ah, bliss. Maybe Chad and I could play some more Monopoly or have a few drinks. I should stop on the way home and get some snack foods. Still, I had to push things with Chad. I had work him out.
“It’s great that you’ve given up on this whole arrangement. I’m as free as a bird now.”
He cleared his throat.
“I don’t need to keep a close eye on you,” he said. “I know you aren’t going to sleep around. You’re in love with me.”
I swang around to tell him how things really were and my car swerved across the road. He should not say things like that while I was driving. I nearly killed us.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“What kind of self-deluded fool are you?”
We’d made it home with only a bent fender on the car from where I’d hit a pole. Still, I could not believe he’d said that. How the hell did he even get that messed up in his brain? Chad annoyed the hell out of me. How do you get from that to “in love”?
Instead of curling up on the couch to watch movies, I went to my room. I couldn’t stand being in the same room as Chad and his “in love” thoughts. If Jayne hadn’t been out at the club, I’d have called her to discuss in length what exactly about my behaviour made Chad think I was in love with him.
I lay on my bed and could hear him moving around the house. I actually really needed to go to the toilet but I’d be buggered if I was going to go out there and even look at him. I’d just cross my legs even tighter. Then the bastard got in the shower. All that running water…
I put on my headphones so I couldn’t hear the shower and I tried to think of other thoughts that didn’t involve my bladder. Though, the more I tried not to think about it, the more it yelled at me to be emptied. Damn Chad. I should go pee on his bed. That would be what he deserved.
I rolled over and punched my pillow. I should never have kissed him. That obviously had turned his brain. The heat of my lips had melted his internal circuits. Maybe the truth was that he was in love with me.
Hey, maybe he was.
I sat up to consider that. Things made sense. Even though he’d have got a lot of money if he caught me with another man, he’d always carried me off instead. Sometimes literally. He’d been all rescuey and protective of me. That was it. He was totally in love with me. I bet he’d been in love with me ever since that day he laid eyes on me at my grandmother’s.
Poor Chad. He’d end up with his heart broken. That made me feel so much better.
I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before. Chad, he covered it well but now he showed his true colours.
The bathroom door opened and I jumped up. I pushed passed Chad and got in the bathroom before he’d even left the room.
Seeing Chad all fresh from the shower in his towel, I knew he’d just done that to tempt me. Why would he be flaunting his body around me if he didn’t want me to want him? He thought those sculpted muscles and that skin like salted caramel would be too much for me to resist. But I could be strong. He was just another man.
When I turned off the light and tried to sleep though, all I could think of was that time he kissed me and how nice it felt to be wrapped in his arms.
***
Chad decided he didn’t need to go to school with me.
“Well, if you really think you don’t need to keep tabs on me, you could just leave altogether.” Even though I said it, my heart sank with the thought of not having Chad around. For starters, I’d have to look for a new housemate and I’d gotten used to Chad. He cleaned up after himself – and after me, and he was a good cook. And I really liked the way that he didn’t do anything but trail around after me. That worked out to be mighty handy sometimes.
“Yeah, don’t think that I trust you that much, but you won’t do anything during the day.”
He put a plate of eggs down in front of me. That was the exact problem. He was just too perfect in some ways. All my other housemates had been total slobs with no cooking skills. The eggs he’d made were restaurant quality.
“What if I need coffee or someone to lug stuff for me?”
He smirked and sat down beside me with two cups of coffee, rubbing in how much I needed him.
“That’s the problem, Lucy. You don’t take this seriously. You just expect me to fetch and carry for you. What are you going to do when you are in Italy and I’m not there?”
I hadn’t really thought of that. Florence was the glittering prize at the end of it all. I’d have the fab apartment and get my dream of studying overseas and the stupid deal would be done and dusted. I’d be able to party as hard as
I liked. I could swim in a sea of men without anyone monitoring me. But that thought had lost its edge. Somehow, I couldn’t imagine myself with a bunch of foreign men so easily. Then I thought of Rebecca Forsythe. That bitch. I’d been so determined to beat her and I didn’t want to throw that away.
“How are things going with your school?” Chad asked.
“Yeah, good. Since I’ve been living like a nun, I’ve had plenty of time to get things done. I’m going to cruise through.”
It really had been much easier that semester. I’d never realised how much time sex took up in my life. I had hours and hours of time freed up that I’d wasted making small talk with strangers in bars.
I smiled at Chad but it seemed lately, when he smiled back, it never really reached his eyes. There was a distance between us and I couldn’t really work out why. I wanted to close that distance between us but I wasn’t sure how to do it.
“Are you sure you aren’t coming with me? Tristan will be sorry. You’re his best bud at that moment.”
Chad shook his head.
“I’ve got stuff to do today.”
I shrugged. I’d finished my eggs so I rinsed off my plate and sat it on the sink.
“I’m not in love with you,” I said. I’d told him that about 100 times since he’d made that stupid statement and every single time I got no reaction out of him.
The day at school seemed kind of flat and I really couldn’t concentrate on anything. It felt like my creativity had seeped out of my body. I was not in love with Chad. I didn’t even know what being in love meant. I’d never thought of it as being something you’d want to do. It just mucked around with your emotions and made you do stupid things.
Exhibit A: Tristan. Tristan’s entire life.
I don’t know why I was so opposed to love. I mean, it’s not like I was from a broken home or anything savage. Mum and Dad were still as in love and sappy as the day they met. Maybe that was it. I’d had the quota of sappy love in my life. They were so wrapped up in each other.
Hands Off! The 100 Day Agreement Page 11
