How to Date a Nerd

by Cassie Mae

  Then a face snaps behind my eyes. I’m not alone in my paradise here, and I’m not sure if I’m happy or upset to see his dark eyes, his dark brown hair falling slightly in front of them, his boyish grin as he strokes my lips with his thumb, the muscles in his arms flexing as he moves his hand to wrap around the back of my neck, his long eyelashes brushing underneath his eyes as he closes them, his lips parting and coming closer…

  The squeak of the water faucet jolts me back to the salon. My face is warm, actually my entire body is flushed, and I have to calm my breathing.

  What is wrong with me?

  “Did you enjoy that?” I look at Missy who is stifling a huge grin, and I gaze around the salon as I hear several sniggers. Hope is keeled over in a fit, wiping her eyes.

  I don’t know if it’s possible to send all the blood in your body up to your face, but I’m sure that’s what happens to me.

  “Um… yeah.” Oh man. How loud was I moaning?

  “Come on.” Missy giggles and pulls me to the styling chair.

  I plunge into an agonizing hour of being locked in the seat while several people whisper around me and steal amused glances in my direction. Hope keeps winking at me, and I’m ready to sock her perfect nose in.

  That’s not even the worst part. Zak will not leave my thoughts, no matter how hard I try to shut the door on him. He’s just so… swoon! I wish I could give him a popular makeover like all those movies so we could be friends in public. But, knowing Zak, that totally wouldn’t fly. Besides, he wouldn’t be Zak anymore. And that would suck. Having two personas is tough business. Worth it, but it’s not for everybody.

  I’m done before Hope, but I don’t have to wait long. We primp ourselves in the mirror, throwing out compliments to each other, though it seems pretty fake.

  “Really, Zoe. You’re totally sexy as a redhead. Cody will be falling all over himself when he sees it.”

  This is how distant my friends are from me. I haven’t said a word to him since last week, and no one has noticed.

  “Yeah.”

  She gives me a look. Oh right. I’m supposed to be agreeing or something.

  “Looks like it’ll be a club night for me too.” I force a smile. “No way am I letting this hair go to waste.”

  “That’s what happens when you don’t use the cheap stuff.” Missy grins as she rings me up.

  I roll my eyes and pay her, wishing I could afford to give her a bigger tip.

  Hope links elbows with me and speed walks through the parking lot.

  “What’s the rush?” I say as I try not to fall face-first on the asphalt. Heels aren’t good for walking, but they are rule number three.

  “You’ll see.” She’s grinning from ear to ear, and I can’t help but reciprocate. I love it when Hope is like this. Like we’re really friends and she wouldn’t care if I suddenly spouted off Dr. Who trivia.

  But she would, so I keep my mouth shut.

  We hop in her car. (Cute sports car that looks like the one Sierra wrecked, only Hope’s is brand-new whereas I got mine from my grandma. Sigh. I miss my car.) Then she takes off toward my house. She’s the craziest driver in the world, I swear, so I close my eyes and pretend I’m traveling by Transport Tube.

  “Okay, close your eyes!” Hope says, not noticing my lids are already clamped tight.

  The car jerks to a stop and I hear Hope unbuckle. “Okay, you stay here and I’ll be right back.”

  I give a fake impatient sigh but smile. I’m a sucker for surprises.

  After a few minutes, my door opens and a hand wraps around my wrist, pulling me out.

  “You can open your eyes now!”

  Mom is out here in the driveway and shouts, “Ta da!”

  I’m really trying to be happy about it. The car is shiny and it’s silver, which isn’t a bad color, but it’s old. Like, ‘Watch out! Old lady on the road!’ old. Compared to my cute sports car Sierra wrecked, this is a downgrade. And not good for my social status.

  But Hope looks happy about it. So maybe it’s not as bad as I think.

  I give Mom a forced smile. “For me?”

  She nods so fast I think her head might jiggle off her neck. She hands me the key and I can’t hide my shaking hand.

  Why am I such a brat? She bought me a car! I try to snap myself out of the bad attitude. It’s not her fault I humiliated myself with sex noises in front of twenty strangers. And definitely not her fault she gave birth to the devil. AKA, my sister.

  I cozy into the driver’s seat as she bounces in next to me. Hope crawls in the backseat and squeals. The interior is nice, it’s clean, and who can’t love a new car? Now I’m squealing too. My smile isn’t forced anymore as I shove the key in the ignition.

  Nothing.

  I look down, trying to figure out what the crap I’m doing wrong. When I rest my hand on the shifter, my stomach drops.

  “Um, Mom?”

  “Yes?”

  “You bought me a manual?”

  She nods.

  “Did it cross your mind I may not know how to drive this thing?”

  “There’s no better way to learn.” She’s still smiling, and I’m trying real hard not to break down. I’m so not talented enough for this, and I can’t even imagine driving this thing to school without making a fool of myself. I blow up my cheeks and close my eyes.

  Mom lets out a huge sigh. “Zoe, I’m sorry. I wish we could have gotten you a car you wanted, but this was the only one we could afford that wasn’t on its last leg.”

  I stay quiet, imitating a blowfish.

  “We’ll teach you how to drive it. It’s not hard.”

  All the air I’ve been holding in my cheeks explodes out. “When? You and Dad are so busy. Hardly ever home.”

  She seems to be struggling with the answer. I raise my eyebrows exaggerating my point.

  “We’ll try to make ourselves more available, but I’m sure some of your friends know how to drive a stick.” She gazes back at Hope who shrugs.

  I guffaw which is so unattractive, but I don’t care right now.

  She ignores my dismissive laugh. “What about Keira?”

  “No.”

  “Does Cody know how?” Hope asks.

  Ugh. “No.”

  Mom sits biting her lip for a minute. Then a huge gasp of revelation fills the car.

  “Zak! You can ask him. He drives that truck.”

  I think I’m going to die. In fact I can feel the combustion starting in my gut. Fake it, Zoe, fake it! Hope is in the backseat and she can’t know you even talk to him. “Ew. No.”

  “Why not?”

  “We’re not friends, Mom.”

  “Doesn’t he take you to school?”

  Oh gosh. “Just that one time. I walk.”

  “Well, it was just a suggestion,” she spits. Great, now she’s upset. “Be happy when your father gets home. He’s really excited about this, and he’s trying to say he’s sorry for yelling at you.”

  She gets out of the car, leaving me feeling like the horrible person I am. I wish I could escape my company too.

  “Um,” Hope stutters, “I’m gonna head out.”

  I nod and try to push back my tears. Maybe pretending to be a bitch has made me into a real one.

  “I’ll see you later.”

  And she’s gone.

  I crawl in the backseat and curl up, letting my styled hair fall over my face. The smell of the dye mixed with the fruity shampoo fills my nostrils, and I almost get high off it.

  You know what sucks? I want to talk to Zak. I want to start spewing some nerdy crap and laugh and stuff. Hope is good to chill with but she’s not who I need to feel better right now.

  Maybe I can ask him. I mean, it would make my parents happy. And Hope saw how I initially reacted so I could come up with some excuse if she found out.

  I sit up and look at his house, stomach knotting with the idea of going over there. Do I really want to risk it? I could ask around school to see if anyone higher on the social
ladder is available to teach me.

  But do I really want that?

  No.

  I want him.

  Sexy nerdboy.

  My breath fogs up the car window as I huff. Why are stupid decisions like this hard?

  I huff again.

  Because I make them that way.

  Chapter 5

  Being smooth is not my thing.

  If I blow any more air into my cheeks, they may pop. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this. If anyone catches me driving Zak around, the rumors will zoom through the air about me hooking up with King of the Dorks. But I’ve got it all planned out.

  Excuse number one, my parents are making me.

  Excuse number two, I’m grounded from all my friends, so this was the only way I can learn.

  Excuse number three, I’m sleep walking.

  Now that I’ve got my social butt covered, I just gotta ask him. And this is what’s making my cheeks sore.

  I’ve never asked Zak for anything before. Even when we were besties. He always offered so I never had to. And after I totally ditched him and treated him like he has a good case of dragonpox, I’m scared out of my mind.

  What if he says no?

  I let all the air out, my bangs fluttering across my forehead. Zoe, just get this over with!

  Another pumpkin imitation later, and I’m knocking on his door. I want to beeline for the bushes, but my legs feel like gummy worms.

  The lock clicks and there he stands in his holey jeans and holding an Xbox controller, with a look that says I stunned the crap out of him.

  “Uh, hey.” Smooth, Zoe, real smooth.

  He doesn’t say anything. His mouth is doing that opening and closing thing like the clowns on a miniature golf course. He looks over my head and out to the street.

  What do I do? Just walk away? Wave my hand in front of his face? Crap myself?

  “What… what are you doing here?” His ears go red and the controller slips from his hand.

  I hear a car go by behind me and BAM! All my insecurities rush into my thoughts. Even though Zak looks freaking amazing in his Yoshi shirt, I can’t be seen at his house.

  Oh gosh.

  “Can I come in?” The words are out so fast, and I don’t even wait for an answer. I squeeze past him and shut the door behind me.

  He chuckles. “Yeah, I guess you can.”

  I laugh a huge dorky and nervous laugh as I look around his house. Not much has changed since last time I was here. Well, physically. It wasn’t this awkward between me and him, but that’s totally my fault.

  “So, uh…” he stutters as he picks up the controller he dropped. “You need something?”

  “Yes, I…” I kink my neck to look behind him. “You stuck?”

  “Huh?”

  I point to the TV screen. “Minas Tirith. That’s a tough level, and it looks like you’re out of ammo.”

  He smirks, and scratches the back of his neck with the controller before tossing it on the couch. “It’s been a while since I played it, and I can’t remember the code for infinite missiles. I was gonna go Google the code for it—”

  “X, X, down, B.” Holy Hulk! I totally said that out loud.

  Zak’s mouth pops open and his ears go red again. “I-I think you’re right.”

  He picks the controller back up and enters in the code. The small shink sound lets him know he now has unlimited firepower.

  “Nice!” He throws me that really sexy smile and I don’t believe it, but I’m moving to sit next to him.

  “Y, up, Y, down makes it so one hit will kill them. May help you when you’re trying to get those ladders taken care of.” I wink, and he nudges me with his elbow.

  And now I’ve lost my train of thought.

  “Thanks,” he says, entering in the code. He sets the controller down and shifts so he’s angled toward me. I can’t take my eyes off his, even though they aren’t exactly looking at me. They’re so dark though. Like almost black so it’s like one giant pupil. And his dark brown hair is all flopped across his forehead. I want to reach up and feel how soft it is.

  “Uh, Zo?”

  Sigh.

  “Yeah?”

  “Did you need something?”

  Oh right! I did come over here for a reason other than drooling over him.

  “Yes, sorry. I was wondering… I mean I don’t know if you noticed, but my parents bought me a new car.”

  “Cool.”

  “It’s a manual, and I was hoping…” Hoping? Who the heck is talking here? I sound like a bumbling idiot. “Will you teach me how to drive it?”

  His face loses all its color, and he wipes his palms on his jeans. After a few seconds he finally makes eye contact with me, giving me another sexy grin. “Tell you what. You beat this level for me, and I’ll teach you how to drive.”

  The blinds are shut, and it looks like Zak’s mom is on duty tonight. It’s just me and him. And since I’ve already spouted off codes, playing the game won’t make me any more of a nerd. Besides, the geeky stuff seems to be getting me a lot more attention from him than my underwear dancing.

  “I haven’t played in a long time.”

  Yeah, that’s a total lie.

  He chuckles and slaps the controller in my hand, his fingers lingering on my skin. The hairs on my arm shoot straight up.

  “You just told me a code I didn’t know, and I played two months ago.”

  I tap my forehead. “Good memory.”

  He cocks his eyebrow, making me fumble with the controller.

  “Well, beat it, or there’s no deal.”

  Slouching back on the couch, interlocking his fingers and resting his head on his hands, he gives me a good impression of someone who’s trying to look cool, but not sure if they’re doing it right.

  He’s so doing it right.

  “I get to be Gandalf.”

  ***

  Video games are total time suckers, but they are so worth it! I have no idea how long it’s been, but it’s dark outside when I finally toss the controller back at Zak, who is now sitting so close his hips are touching mine.

  “And that is how it’s done.” I smile.

  He tosses his head back, barking out his laughter and clapping. It’s so darn cute I want to jump into his arms and smack one right there on the kisser.

  Instead I throw out a random question so I don’t lose what’s left of my mind. “What time is it?”

  “Almost ten. Ariana should be here any…”

  Thump! Thump!

  “…minute.” He gives me a smile before he stands.

  Ariana? What the hell? Why is she…?

  Dammit! The documentary! I totally spaced it.

  “Wait!” I rush to Zak before he gets to the door. No one at school can know I was here for… oh my gosh, it’s been four hours. “Um… do you mind if I…” Great, how do I get out of this one? “Can I use your bathroom?”

  He chuckles. “You know where it is, silly girl.”

  Ignoring the flippity flop my stomach does, I book it to the bathroom and lock the door before Zak can get the front door open.

  Trying to be quiet in panic mode is near impossible. I get the shower curtain open and move all the shampoo and soap bottles out of the window sill so I can make a break for it. Gym has paid off in the pull-up department for me. I wiggle myself through the window and fall flat on my ass in Ms. Gibbons’ tulips.

  Zak is totally going to figure it out since I’m not covering my tracks, but it’s not like I can put things back the way they were. And I’m too busy freaking out to care right now.

  I stand to wipe off the crusted mud all over the butt of my jeans when I hear Zak’s voice carry through the living room window.

  “I invited her.”

  “Why the hell would you do that?”

  Yikes! I haven’t heard someone use that type of tone when they were talking about me since… well, since Geek Zoe roamed the halls.

  Ariana’s a girl in our grade, way below t
he status of chess club player. She usually has lipstick on her teeth, and her blonde hair is rarely done in anything but a ragged ponytail. She’s got the most annoying laugh; it’s more of a hardy har har. Like she’s heckling you every time you say something funny. She’s got about a million zits on her nose alone, and right now, she’s ready to talk shit about me.

  I feel sick.

  “Because she’s into that stuff. She just played four hours of Lord of the Rings with me.”

  “Did she need something from you?”

  It’s quiet long enough for me to panic over what Zak’s face looks like. I’m almost willing to peek around the corner so I can see, but then I remember his blinds are shut.

  Zak mumbles something I don’t catch, and Ariana starts laughing.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll be nice. But if she does anything bitchy, I swear, I’m socking her in her overstuffed boob.”

  I wait for more conversation, more gossip really, but they start comparing notes on how difficult the different levels are on the game I just beat. I’m pretty sure Zak has taken out his notebook filled with all the theories we put in there about if Gimli had the speed of Legolas then his stats would be higher.

  If Ariana wasn’t in there—totally wrong in her theories, by the way—I’d be sitting next to Zak talking nerd. I guess she’s saving me from going full-out Geek Zoe.

  Still, I’m a wee bit jealous.

  Okay, a lot jealous.

  Before I can cause any more social damage, I sprint back home.

  Chapter 6

  Why can’t my bad decisions only affect me?

  The cafeteria is like the houses in Harry Potter, I swear. Where you sit is uber important. Because I’m part of the popular group, we don’t have a designated spot. We pick and choose depending on the day and if we’ve decided to eat off campus or not. Everyone revolves around us.

  Except for one table.

  The Dungeons and Dragons table.

  Zak’s table.

  If this was middle school, it would be my table too.

  Lunch is split in two. I’m in the later lunch with a few of my friends, but Hope is in the earlier lunch. So I park my butt next to Keira for some girl talk before all the guys get here.