The Heart of the Falcon: The Guardian Maidens Book 3

by Marilyn Foxworthy

  I had been more forceful and in control than I could have imagined that I would have ever been. I loved them all and I wasn’t their dictator and they were not my slaves. And Harmony had taken control of Shaheena’s actions several times today as well. But it wasn’t really control, was it? Shaheena didn’t have to do anything that Harmony or I had told her. She wasn’t under threat of punishment at all. She could have refused easily, and neither of us would have forced her in the least. In a sense, all we had done was give her choices. And she chose to do certain things on her own, and she received the outcomes of doing so. She never had to throw herself on the ground on her back with her knees against her shoulders over and over; she had chosen to. She never had to let Harmony touch or lick her; she had chosen to. She could have easily prevented all of it if she wanted to. But it seemed that she wanted to give in and find out what would happen when she did. Shaheena was always in control of what happened to her and could have made other choices at every point along the way.

  I hadn’t raped her just now. She wasn’t forced to let me have sex with her the way that I had. She was given an opportunity, and she had welcomed me. In fact, it seemed that Shaheena had very much enjoyed having both Harmony and I led her into activities that she didn’t initiate. More than any of the others, Shaheena seemed to enjoy the role of being told what to do. Maybe that was her ‘thing’. She had asked Brenda and Alice and the others what they especially enjoyed when lovemaking. Perhaps what Shaheena enjoyed was being told how to let me ‘control’ her, even though she was never in danger and could always do what she wanted. I supposed that it was for the very reason that she never was in danger at all. I didn’t want to humiliate her, but she seemed to enjoy being pushed beyond where she would go on her own. That was probably it. She enjoyed being taken on new adventures.

  Of course, that was absolutely it. She probably didn’t even recognize what she was doing, but she was going on sexual adventures, where she wasn’t the leader, and she was happy to be the novice, following the orders and commands of her teacher. Harmony and I had been her teachers today, and she had been a willing student, doing whatever menial tasks were allowed her in exchange for the opportunity to train with more experienced warriors. I knew the feeling. That awe at being allowed to even stand at the door and watch and try to learn what we could on our first day, and being eager to sweep the training area or carry water for the older students or do whatever was allowed to us. And Harmony, as a senior student, had been fully within her role to direct the novice in the beginning exercises and duties at the school.

  But with Shaheena, there was even more to it than that. She had taken on a role within the family. Val was the leader of the women in our house. My house. Dawn was my assistant, watching and silently handling things for us, though her role wasn’t fully defined yet. Harmony was our enforcer and my playmate. Brenda was my housekeeper and loving comforter. Alice was my wife more than the others in a way that was unique; she was the one that I wanted to wake up with every morning, no matter who I had gone to bed with. I hadn’t realized that until his moment.

  Stacy had been the erotic sorceress that captured my dreams and drove me wild. But that was before. When she was Lucille, my aunt, not my lover. Her new role was yet to be discovered. And Nova, April, was becoming my playful woman-child.

  Shaheena though, and I greatly resisted admitting it, though it was the role that she had chosen for herself and no one had even suggested it to her, Shaheena was my pet. Yes, my pet. She was at my side, eager to please, wanting my attention and touch, more excited to take a treat from my hand than to be fed in any other way. It was hard to say it, but it was true. And if it was true, it would be easier and kinder if I admitted it and let her be what she wanted. It wasn’t anything that I had forced on her, and it wasn’t anything that would hurt or humiliate her…unless I refused to acknowledge the love that she had for me in this way. She was under no spell and she had her own will and volition, but she wanted to be this way with me. Was it different than Brenda? Brenda wanted to care for us and cook for us and comfort me at the end of the day and prepare a beautiful home for us. She didn’t have to cook, and Alice didn’t have to do our laundry and make our beds. But they wanted to. It made them happy. I didn’t have to protect and love them all and provide for their need for love from the man that they had chosen, but I wanted to more than anything else. And Shaheena wanted to be beside me and throw herself on her back and welcome me to take her on adventures, both as warriors and as lovers.

  I had lifted the unconscious woman into my arms several minutes ago and had been walking toward home, carrying her in front of me as I thought all of this through. The others were so far ahead now that I had lost sight of them. I could see the village ahead of us and I would need to wake Shaheena up soon so that she could walk to the house on her own. If I carried her, the villagers might think that she was ill or injured.

  Her arms were around my neck. This seemed a good opportunity to try out something that I had wondered about. Without waking her, I used our Elven speech to talk to her and to find out if we could communicate or wake each other up if necessary, even if one of us was sleeping.

  I said silently, “Shaheena, my lovely, can you hear me?”

  She replied almost immediately saying, “Ronin, where are you?”

  I said, “I’m right here. Where are you?”

  She said, “I’m at an oasis in the desert with a fountain. The fountain has strange white liquid and I am bathing in it. It feels strange, but wonderful. I’m alone, but now you are nearby. Come to me and we can bathe together. It smells sweet and feels like cream. Why am I bathing in it? And how did I come here? There is a tent for us and a bed. But I have to keep bathing. The fountain keeps flowing and I have to keep scooping up the liquid and putting it on my breasts and between my legs and Ronin, I have to put it between the cheeks of my ass and on my feet. And I have to drink it. It makes me feel very good, but I have to keep putting it on. On my breasts and on my nipples and between my boobies and between my legs and up inside my vagina and even inside my anus. I am shoving my finger in and I have to get the liquid in and it feels good in there, but it’s hard to get enough in there. Come help me. Bring a water bag and you can fill it up and help me get enough inside me.”

  Apparently, Shaheena was having a very erotic dream about a fountain in the desert that she had to bathe in. And since I was speaking to her with my Elven voice, I was now in her dream as well. I wanted to stay and play along and see what she would dream next, but we were getting close to the village.

  I said, “Tender Falconess, it is a lovely dream and I would love to help you bathe, but I need you to wake up. I am carrying you in my arms and when you wake up, you will be with me.”

  She said, “OK. But this is so nice, and I have to bathe. To get it all. Ronin, is this fountain you? I think that it is.”

  Chapter 22 - Changes and Roles

  Shaheena stirred in my arms and hugged my neck.

  She said aloud, “Oh, I was dreaming. What a strange dream. Where are we?”

  I said, “We’re at the edge of the village. I need you to walk, if you can.”

  She kissed my cheek weakly and said, “I can. Set me down.”

  I set the girl on her feet and she leaned against me for a moment as she continued to wake up. I held her hand and we walked toward home.

  I said, “Shaheena, I love you. I hope that you had a good time today.”

  She squeezed my hand and said, “Oh Ronin, I could never have imagined a day like today. I don’t think that I even remember most of it.”

  I said, “You were reborn.”

  She said, “I was. I never imagined this. I don’t even know what you’ve done to me. Please promise me that you will never let me go back to how I was. You said that you would never lose me. This is the me that I don’t want you to lose now. Please.”

  I said, “Sweetie, I will do my best. If this is the life you want, I will keep it and guard it for you
. But what do you think it is, and who are you, and what do you want me to guard for you?”

  She said, “My nakedness. I love it this way.”

  I said, “Shaheena, I want to ask you a very naked question. Think about your answer and tell me what you see. You know that each of us has a different role. Brenda loves to cook for us and to comfort us and to take care of us. She is my comforter. Alice loves to do our laundry and make our beds and make our lives pleasant. In a way, she is my wife in ways like no one else. Harmony is my playmate and my apprentice in special ways, and her fierce protection of me and of all of you is precious to me. And each of us has a special role, and you asked them about their special desires and needs when it comes to sexual activities. Shaheena, I know that this is very new to you, but look inside and be very naked and tell me as much as you can about who you are and what special role you play with me and no one else.”

  She said, “Oh, that’s easy. I am…oh, wait!”

  I said, “Princess, look deep for the truly naked answer for yourself. The one that you can’t say or dare to believe or to admit. And tell me what it is. But remind yourself of something. You are mine and you do whatever I ask, and you love me and will never deny me, but you have to be reminded that you can. Harmony was harsh with you for the sake of our safety, but you chose to do what she said. There is no punishment and no anger against you for making your own choices. There will be times that you must do what I say, but for the most part, if I tell you to do something, it is really an invitation to follow me on an adventure, not a command to force you to do my will. You can refuse me anything at any time. You might not want to, but you have to remember that you can, and that I will always love you. You and Harmony teased me yesterday saying that you always do what I say, unless you choose not to. Today is the same. At each point, you chose to go on the adventure. Are you happy with where it took you?”

  She leaned into me and I saw that she was crying as she said, “Ronin, you are the kindest man alive. Your women are the most blessed and I feel ashamed to be one of them because I’m so inexperienced. But I am an adult, and I can hear what you are saying. Yes, I choose this life. Everything that I did today was because I wanted it. Some of it I didn’t know I wanted until I saw what it did for me. If I were stupid, I might be embarrassed. But you have taught me wisdom. What am I with you and what special role do I play? The only way to answer truthfully is nakedly. The White Falcon could never know this. But the more that I think down this road, the more I see that I have been this for weeks. Your call to me was answered weeks ago. And I had our answer on my lips even then. All those nights, as I lay on my bed, making love to your image, I knew what I was. I didn’t become it, I was it from the beginning. I said it to myself and swore that I would never tell you or let you know about it. But you must know. I am committed to our nakedness and I finally have to tell you. Now that it comes, I’m not even afraid of it. I can’t believe this. You ask me the very things that release me in new ways. Oh, Ronin! Back up. Did you do something to me? You had sex with me, and it was wonderful, but you did more than that. Oh no. You said that there was a purpose in everything you do for me. You had a purpose in our love in the grass. You did something to me!”

  I said, “Yes, I did. And right now, I won’t apologize for it. It has always been something that helps us so far. I called out to you to find a dormancy and bring it to the surface and then I released it. I think it will make you happy.”

  She said, “Of course it will make me happy. Oh wow. I’m starting to remember. Husband, you did truly fuck me senseless and had your way with me in ways that I think no woman has ever been had by her mate in all of history. I remember some of it. You fucked my body and my mind and my very inner being all at once. And you were methodical about it. Ronin, I’m not like Stacy.”

  I said, “How? What do you mean?”

  She said, “When you changed Stacy, when she was reborn into a new life as you say, she forgot who she was and is learning it from the beginning. In that way, I am like her. But she doesn’t even know who she will become. I’m not like that. I remember how to evaluate a strategy and how to look for signs and clues and follow a trail and see people behind their cloaks. I remember how you took me step by step and brought me to where you wanted to take me. And I went with you eagerly, even when I wasn’t able to think. But now that I can think, I see how you brought me to such an aroused state that I had no resistance to what I wanted you to do for me. Ronin, I know the answer to your question. About my place with you. My special desires and sexual needs. I can tell you what they are, but if you will let me, I will give you a more naked answer if you give me time to prepare.”

  I said, “Of course. I’m not demanding anything from you.”

  She said, “I am seeing that.”

  I said, “Shaheena, if I tell you to do something, I’m really telling you that I have an adventure in mind, and if you want it, we can see where it takes us. Like you said, I rule by consent, not compulsion. I have to be sure that you know that. I can’t live if you feel like I force you.”

  She said, “I’m seeing exactly that. And it frees me to be even more unafraid of doing what you tell me. Tell me something that you will tell me to do when we get home.”

  I said, “Well, at dinner, I am going to tell you to sit between Harmony and I, and I am going to tell you that she and I will feed you from our plates.”

  She gasped and said, “Hurry, come to the shops before they close. I have to have it now.”

  She started almost running for the market and dragged me along behind her.

  She said, “And tonight, when you tell me to do that, it would be within the power of my will to laugh at you and tell you that I am no man’s toy and I eat where and when I want. And you would laugh, and Brenda would bring me a plate and we would wink at each other and love each other again before bed time. But that won’t happen. What will happen is that I will sit beside you and eat from your hand if you let me. You can forget the chair. I will kneel beside you on the floor, and I will let them all see me do it and I will have no shame in it because of who and what I am and have been for three weeks. How is this possible?”

  I said, “What Shaheena? How is what possible?”

  She said, “How many times did you make love to me today? And how many times did I climax? And surely, I fainted from it twice already. But now, my juices run down my legs and I’m near to demanding that you take me against the wall of the first house we come to! Hurry!”

  I said, “Shaheena, we can’t do that.”

  She said, “No, not that. To the shops. Before they close.”

  She pulled me along into the village market and rushed through the street until we came to the leather worker.

  She was out of breath as she said to the man, “Sir, um, my master is taming a puppy. To be with him as he walks in the woods, and to lie at his feet in the evening and to bring him a toy and to chase a stick. I need a collar and a leash!”

  The man was clearly surprised at her urgency, and when I heard what she said, so was I. He hurried to pull a box from beneath his counter and opened it to show the woman what he had that might be what she wanted.

  Shaheena dug through the box and grabbed something and held it out and said, “I would have a bell attached. Can you do that, or do I go somewhere else?”

  The man brought out another box, and without a word, let Shaheena choose from a number of small bells. She held out the one that she wanted and had the merchant attach it to the collar. When he handed it back to her, she looked at the contents of the first box again and chose a leather leash about five feet long.

  She held both items and said quickly, “We are in a great hurry. You know my master, as everyone in the village does and owes him their very lives as well. We will take these on account and our house manager will pay you in the morning whatever you ask for these. If you need payment before that, send a boy to our house and you will have your coins tonight. Forgive my urgency, but we are in a grea
t hurry.”

  The man just looked at her, and then at me, but didn’t say a word, and Shaheena turned and dragged me toward home again, still nearly running in her haste.

  So, it was just what I had guessed. No, it was a great deal more than I had guessed. I guessed in the right direction, but not even close to the depth of her feelings about it.

  As we hurried through the streets she said, “Do you see? Don’t answer me. Not yet. Get me home. Oh no, damn! The downstairs and the dinner table require clothing. Oh, to hell with it. It will be fine. I have an idea, and I can get Stacy to help me. You stud, I am so naked now I don’t have any reservations left about anything. Nothing. You have taken it all away from me. In a single day. I am yours and no other. I am my own, only because I am part of you. And you ask a simple question and release me from a prison cell that no one even knew about. My goodness! Husband, I have climaxed three times in the last ten minutes and you don’t even touch me or say a word. Don’t kiss me or tell me that you love me, or I will scream here in the street.”

  Shaheena threw open the door to the house and yelled, “Stacy, Alice, Brenda, I need you!” and she dragged me up the stairs.

  At the top, she stopped and faced me, out of breath and doubled over, moaning occasionally. The three women that she had called for rushed to us and stood in a circle near us. Stacy was he first to speak.

  She said, “Oh, I see. Shaheen, we’ll help you. Try to be calm. Let me undress you.”

  Shaheena shouted, “No! My master dressed me, and I am his to undress. Keep away from me until he has finished with me. And my name is Shaheena, not Shaheen. What I need from you is a gown!”

  Stacy smiled and said, “You need more than that, Dear. But we will start there. I’ll go get it. And I’m not offended. I see how it is.”

  Shaheena looked up and said, “Thank you. I am sorry. But the gown…wait. I have to wear it at dinner. Brenda and Alice, I need to wear it at dinner, but it must be as…”