All About You (Love & Hate series #1)

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

Present

  On Monday morning I look like a zombie, so I buy two energy drinks to keep me going throughout the day. Since the incident on Saturday, my nightmares have come back and I barely slept. Dora has already been planning payback on Mackenzie all day yesterday. When I tell her not to get involved, she doesn't want to listen.

  I have a headache throughout the lecture, and when I enter the canteen later on I automatically look for Oliver. His rugby buddies are out there, but his usual seat is empty. Deep down I want to face him and thank him that he sent Jacob to rescue me. We aren’t even yet, but I want to forget about my pride and talk to him. By the time I walk home, the rumour has it that Oliver locked me up in the changing room. People are saying that something went wrong and somehow I managed to escape. He was pissed, so he hooked up with someone new on Saturday night, and no one has seen him since then. There is nothing being said about Mackenzie and I haven't seen her today at all.

  But there is another rumour about Jacob’s black eye. Apparently it was Dora that punched him. The story goes that she found out that Jacob and I had sex when he came to rescue me on Saturday. It makes me laugh, the kind of stories people make up about what's happened to me. But in the end, I still want to know what is going on inside Oliver's head. Why he all of the sudden changed his mind and decided to help me.

  A week Sunday it's Dora’s birthday. She already made plans and invited a few people to the local club to celebrate. After the drama with Mackenzie I'm not in the mood to show my face where I could be recognised, but I can't miss my best friend’s birthday party. Everyone with some kind of social status will be there, and I might even have a chance to talk to Oliver, if he decides to show up.

  I don't see him for the rest of the week. Every time I walk to the canteen or wander through corridors, I feel like someone stole a part of me. A little piece of the puzzle is missing. We have been apart for two years, but I'm used to knowing that he is around. He is clearly avoiding me. Dora mentioned that she saw him a few times on campus, so there is something unusual going on.

  Being ruthless and cruel has it's own points. The old India would have made sure that Mackenzie would get her payback. An old India would most probably make her suffer with humiliation, but I know that I'm better than that and I can't let her get to me. The karma always comes back and I’ve learned to be patient.

  Saturday night Jacob arrives at our apartment with a present for Dora. He’s looking handsome with his new haircut.

  “Present for my sexy girlfriend,” he says, smiling and handing her a small stylish box.

  “Oh, thank you. I love presents. Are you going to tell me what's inside?” she asks, and her eyes gleam with excitement. It takes her a moment to open it and then a large smile breaks over her face. “Oh my God, a ring.”

  “Don't worry. It's not that ring.” He laughs, looking at her worried face.

  “Of course, I know that it's not that ring,” she mutters, blushing. “I love it. It's beautiful. Thank you, bear.”

  Jacob embraces her with a passionate kiss, and I go to my room to give them some privacy. I try to look my best, hoping that Oliver will show up. Maybe someday he will forgive me, but for now maybe we could at least make peace. I put a bit of makeup on and pin my hair in a stylish bun in the back. I go for jeans and a funky top that I bought in Gargle.

  The Morgan family was wealthy, and I got a lot of expensive gifts from Christian. When he died, I burned everything, trying to destroy my last memories about him. Mum had no idea what I did, but burning stuff that he paid for allowed me to gain some kind of ease and accept that he would never hurt me again.

  By eight o’clock we leave our apartment and head to the club in a taxi. Dora reserved a small space upstairs for her party, and when we get there everyone is already waiting for us. Unlike me, Dora managed to make a lot of friends since we arrived at Braxton. She introduces me to a handful of guys and girls that stare at me like I'm the clown in the circus. She orders champagne for everyone. Her father gave her an injection of cash so she could enjoy her birthday.

  “So you’re the girl that everyone has been talking about?” asks Katie, a tall blonde that Dora introduced me to a moment ago. “The girl that Oliver hates so much.”

  I shouldn't been surprised. These days everyone wants to know the latest gossip.

  “Possibly. Oliver and I aren’t on speaking terms, if that’s what you’re asking,” I say.

  Jacob hands me a cocktail, and I give him five pounds, but he winks at me saying that it's on him tonight. When I start protesting he pretends like he can't hear me. Jacob is a nice guy and Dora is a very lucky girl to have him.

  I spot familiar faces at the bar. It's obvious that most students would be here tonight. It's the biggest club in town.

  “I don't know how you can handle what he is doing to you. It's barbaric.” Katie looks carefully around, afraid, as if Oliver might notice her talking to me.

  “It's just a game,” I tell her. “I can handle him. Besides, something tells me he might be easing off on me.”

  Katie sips her cocktail and leans toward me. “By the way, I don't want to be the one to spreads rumours, but I heard from one of the girls in my class that Oliver dumped Mackenzie. I don't know what he saw in her in the first place; she is such a slut.”

  My heart gives me a giant smack in my chest. “It's just a rumour,” I mutter, feeling heat blaze over my body with new hope that his feelings for me haven't vanished completely.

  Katie doesn't have a chance to tell me more, because the new guy, Russell, flops on an empty seat next to me.

  “Hello, ladies, nice seeing you here,” he says, smiling. “What are we discussing?”

  I try not to choke on my cocktail, staring at him bewildered. I wasn't expecting to see him here. Dora doesn’t even know him that well, so she couldn't have invited him.

  “Just about Olie and what kind of dick he has been lately to India,” Katie explains.

  Russell arches his eyebrows watching me intensely. “Oliver Morgan, the captain of a rugby team?”

  “Yeah, like you don't know,” I say.

  “Oh come on, ladies, he is a douchebag. You should talk about me; I'm far better looking than he is.” Russell smirks. Katie has an attack of hysterical giggles, and I roll my eyes.

  “Of course, how could we not notice that?” I ask. “By the way, how did you get in here? It's a private party.”

  “I hate break it to you, India, but Dora invited me.” He chuckles.

  I purse my lips and narrow my eyes wondering why he has to be so annoying and so full of himself. I look at Dora, who seems engaged in conversation with Jacob and some of his friends. She couldn’t have invited Russell over. She doesn't even know him that well. Katie excuses herself, muttering something about the ladies room, leaving me alone with Russell.

  “So, India, I think we got off on the wrong foot,” he says. “I'm Russell, it's nice to meet you.”

  “I'm India,” I reply, grinning, knowing that the only way to get rid of him would be to play along. Even though Oliver showed me his mercy, I feel certain that he sent Russell to gain my trust. There isn't any other explanation for this.

  “So, India, do you mind if I talk to you?” he asks.

  “Fine, but don't get too comfortable. I'm not interested in dating if that’s what you're after,” I tell him, so I can cut to the chase.

  “Wow, slow down, girl, we only just met. I don't work that fast. I might be handsome, funny and charming, but I'm a gentleman.”

  I sip my cocktail as he continues talking about himself, asking me a few questions. It turns out that his family lives a few miles away from Braxton. He only recently found that his mother has been diagnosed with cancer. All his brothers live abroad, so he decided to move back home to help out. His father died a few years ago.

  “What about you? What's your interest, apart from rowing and law, of course?” he asks.

  I try to relax and have fu
n tonight. It's been a hell of a week and I want to forget about the nightmare with Mackenzie. Maybe I'm not as much fun as I used to be back in Gargle, but I can be interesting and funny if I want to be. “I used do cheerleading and gymnastics for a few years, but I always loved movies, cinema is my passion.” I say forcing a smile.

  He shakes his head. “Movies, well, that’s a coincidence because I love movies, too. What sorts of movies do you watch?”

  “All. I can pretty much watch everything, but since I've been here I don't have time to go, and Dora is busy with her new boyfriend and I'm trying to concentrate on my studies.”

  “Right, that’s why we should stick together. I can be your new cinema partner,” he teases.

  I keep drinking my cocktail, but I have a feeling I'm being watched. It's not long before I notice someone’s eyes on me. Desire whisks through me when I notice Oliver standing by the stairs. Our eyes meet for a split second before he turns to continue talking to some girl that I don't know. My breathing changes instantly. He looks tense and I begin to wonder if he only showed up here because of me.

  “Sorry, let me just talk to my friend for a sec,” I tell Russell.

  I get to Dora, who is dancing with a few of her friends. It's not even ten o’clock yet and she is already hammered. Jacob should be looking after her, but he is nowhere to be seen.

  “Hey, Dor, hey, focus,” I say, bringing her attention to me.

  “Oh, Indi, what's up, having fun?” she garbles.

  “Listen, Oliver, is here and it's your party. Do you mind if I get rid of him?”

  This is just an excuse. I want to talk to him and I need to have a valid reason. It's time to find out if he thought about what I said. Forgiveness doesn't cost anything. He made me realise how cruel and vicious I was in the past.

  Oliver keeps glancing at Russell. He looks like is ready to punch someone. Maybe he thinks Russell is just not good enough to work his master plan of destroying me. Something inside my stomach turns and I try to dismiss my racing heart and the skyrocketing pulse when I look at him.

  Dora’s voice brings me back to reality. “Oh, let me dance. Do what you want, but I don't mind having him here,” she says, laughing.

  I start chewing my bottom lip, contemplating what to do.

  I go back to Russell, trying to ignore my violent emotions and the man that I love and hate so much at the same time. Russell keeps asking me about the movies and I make a huge effort to concentrate on my conversation with him. Instead of getting all worked up about Oliver being here, I drink my cocktail, keeping old India on a leash.

  Oliver moves to the other side, chatting it up with the dark-haired girl. Again he keeps glancing at me, narrowing his eyes like he anticipates my next move.

  Russell is funny, he makes me laugh and I feel comfortable being around him. And at this point I don't care anymore if he is playing me or is genuinely interested.

  A few minutes before midnight, Jacob brings the cake and we all sing Happy Birthday to Dora. She can barely blow out the candles, and then she kisses Jacob and everyone starts cheering.

  The rest of the night passes in a blur, and I keep drinking more and more. I feel like I'm back in Gargle. I'm the same India from before the party, fun and cheerful, full of confidence.

  Later that night I spot Oliver by the bar. He is alone. I walk up to him, wondering if now he’ll tell me exactly what he is planning. I hate games, I hate not knowing what to expect. There are so many questions and so little time.

  “Oliver, I'm here, so stop running away and talk to me.” I poke him on the back.

  He turns around slowly studying my face. Something flickers in his eyes and my chest heaves when I recognise the warmth and worry.

  “Go away, India, unless you want to make a bigger fool of yourself than you already have,” he says quietly, leaning towards me. His body sends warm vibrations right down between my legs and I feel a flush of heat run down my back. I focus on his lips, imagining him kissing me. If I were sober I would walk away, but right now I'm drunk and nothing is going to stop me. I lean towards him, inhaling his unbelievable cologne. Our faces nearly touch.

  “Why are you here, Oliver? Is it because of me? Stop acting like you don't care because I know that you sent Jacob to rescue me.” My voice is barely audible, but I know that he can hear my every word.

  “You mean nothing to me, Indi. You're just a meaningless particle of Braxton air. I can't wait for you to vanish.”

  “I don't believe you,” I whisper, as his eyes drill a hole in my heart to pull me closer. His gaze is heavy on me and I want him to forgive me, but he’s changed so much that I don't recognise him anymore.

  “You are delusional, Indi. I would never find you interesting. I don't even want to look at you right now, so do me a favour and disappear.” A girl that he was talking to earlier appears by his side measuring me up and down. Oliver pulls her closer and then he kisses her.

  My whole world ends and I'm falling back to the darkness. The pain slides through me like I'm just about to pass out. His body collides with hers in smooth rhythm. The demons capture me back and pull me right down to hell to face Christian.

  Slowly, I turn around and walk away. The tears streaming down my cheek and his hollow voice circles in my brain; he doesn't want me, and whatever we both felt, it's long gone. It's clear that he will never forgive me. I move between people, looking for the way out.

  Then I hear the voices and spot Dora. She is storming towards Mackenzie, and before anyone can stop her, she throws a punch at her and they both go down to the floor.

  “Dora, what the hell are you doing?” I shout, trying to grab her away, but she pushes me away screaming.

  “You bitch, you don't fuck with my friends!”

  I jerk her off Mackenzie, who seems to be in shock. She touches her face. There is blood everywhere. People are staring at Dora and me. I have to get her out of the club.

  “You broke my nose!” Mackenzie cries and looks like she wants to fight, but then strong arms catch her before she can get to Dora and me. My breaths are shallow and I'm drunk enough, but I recognise Oliver. He is holding his arms tightly around Mackenzie.

  “Get her out of here,” he snaps at me.

  He doesn't need to tell me twice. Jacob appears by my side, and we both grab Dora. We drag her away from the club, catching a taxi home. The rest of the night is hazy. Dora throws up in the toilet a few times before she passes out on the sofa.

  My mind spins, and I see myself with Oliver in a world where Christian doesn't exist. I regret now that I didn't tell him. I should have spit the truth at Oliver's face. Then he would have forgiven me. He would have known why I became such ruthless cunt, an individual without any feelings.

  Tonight he proved to me once again that nothing has changed. We are still enemies. He doesn't care about me, and he never will. I'm still alone.

  Chapter thirteen

  Real devil