You Rock My World
Page 16
Ruby blew out a hot breath. “Sure.”
“Sometimes we need to take chances on the things we know are going to kick us in the butt. Because sometimes it’s the only way to know we’re alive. Even if being alive means getting hurt.” Sid downed her glass of water in one long gulp. She wiped at the corner of her mouth, set the empty glass on her desk, and shrugged.
“Do you regret what happened this weekend?”
Regret? Ruby thought about it and slowly shook her head. “No. At least I don’t think so.” She cracked a small smile. “I mean, it was really hot sex, and it’s been so long since I’ve felt that kind of connection. Maybe Travis is the only man I’ll feel that way with, but I don’t know what happens next. I don’t know if I want what happens next.”
“What happens next?”
“That’s something I’m not real clear on.”
“What does Travis want?” Sidney asked.
“Does it matter what he wants?” she pondered the question out loud.
“Not really,” Sidney replied. “You’re in control here. I just don’t want you getting in over your head with him. Travis couldn’t commit before. What makes you think he will now?”
She looked at her friend. “Who said I was looking for commitment?”
Sidney’s mouth fell open. “Oh my God. You’re my new hero. You’re going to use Travis Blackwell before kicking him to the curb, aren’t you?”
“What? No. That sounds cold-blooded. I mean, there would be rules if we did this but…” She threw up her hands. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Ruby eyed her friend as the thing that had been bothering her for a few days buzzed around her brain. Was she just changing the subject to take the heat off herself? Probably. But she was okay with that.
“What?” Sidney was guarded.
“When were you going to tell me you and Ryder were hanging out again?”
“He told you?”
“He’s my brother. He tells me everything. Even the shit I don’t want to know.” She paused, considering her words carefully. “Sid—”
Her friend held up her hand. “Ruby, he’s changed. I think this time for real. He looks so good. So healthy and…he’s like the old Ryder.”
God, how Ruby wanted to believe that. But she’d done this with her brother before. Many times, in fact. And so had Sidney. She should know better.
“A month ago, he looked like shit, Sid. A month ago, he was with Fiona Winters. Before that, Candace Seaton. A normal person might think that Ryder has commitment issues because he only screws married women. But we both know that’s only part of it. He screws married women who like opioids and weed and booze as much as he does. He’s an addict, Sidney. They don’t change overnight or in a month or even a year. Most of them can’t change at all. Not even in a lifetime. Just look at my father. His early grave was almost a blessing.”
Sidney’s face flushed, and she thrust out her chin. “If you think he’s such a loser, why did you help him out with the car? Why did you pump him full of confidence when you think he’s going to fail?”
“Because that’s my job.” Ruby swallowed the lump in her throat. “Because he’s my brother, and I love him. Because he’s an addict, and he needs to believe in himself before he can even begin to walk that road back to recovery. But do I think he’s turned over a new leaf? Do I think he’s no longer an addict? That he won’t blow this job when the stress gets to be too much and he goes on a bender of booze and pills to cope? I can hope that. I can pray that none of that will happen. But the reality is a lot different, and you know it. You can’t save him, Sid. Ryder needs to want to save himself first. And I hope he gets there. I really do. Just like I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into again, because I can pretty much guarantee that things aren’t going to end well. And I don’t know if I have enough energy to fix you and Ryder. Not this time. I’ve got my own stuff to deal with.”
Sidney got to her feet, obviously pissed. “It’s good to know he has you in his corner.”
“I’ve always had his back.” Ruby was angry too. “You know that. I’m just…” She threw her hands into the air, frustrated and upset. “I want so many things. I want Ryder healthy. I want him focused and productive. I want you not to be hurt. I want you to be happy. I want…”
I want to be happy. The thought startled her. She was happy…wasn’t she?
“Life is messy, Ruby. It’s imperfect. And bad things happen to good people. Maybe Ryder’s a bad thing for me. But I might be the good thing he needs to help him get to where he has to be. I might be the good thing that doesn’t give up on him. I know he has to want to get healthy for himself. But maybe he needs a good thing beside him to get there.” Sidney walked around the desk and hugged Ruby. “Sometimes, we need to take a chance on the things we know are going to kick us in the ass. Sometimes, it’s the only way to really know we’re alive. Even if being alive means getting hurt.”
Sidney kissed her cheek and stepped back. “Look. Maybe we should just agree to stay out of each other’s business unless asked.”
“Okay.” Ruby smiled. “I’m sorry, I—”
“Don’t apologize. You know I’m there for you, Ruby, because I love you and you’re my best friend. Just like I know I can count on you if things go sideways. It’s what we do. I know you think I’m setting myself up to be hurt, but I have to believe this time, things will be different. I’m tired of waiting for the rest of my life to start. Tired of waiting for the man that I love to get his shit together. Tired of watching everyone else move on and I’m standing still because Ryder is the only person I want to move on with. So, I’m not going to dwell on the many ways this can end badly. I’m just going to try like hell to make the ending I want.” She smiled. “Maybe you should too.”
“Once I figure it out.”
“Yes.” Sidney’s smile widened. “Once you figure it out.” Her girlfriend grabbed her purse. “I came here for a reason, you know.”
“What’s up?”
“The Metaphors are playing the Coach House tonight.”
“Get out.” The Metaphors were an Irish Celtic/rock band that featured two burly bald men in kilts who played the bagpipes. The Coach House would be packed.
“Right? I just found out. I told Nash to save us four tickets at the door. You in? Or do you have plans with Travis?”
“I haven’t talked to him since he dropped me off last night.”
“He hasn’t called you?”
“I told him I would call him in a couple of days. Said I was going to be busy at work and needed to focus.”
“Well, that sounds like a line of bull if I ever heard it.”
“He told me to take all the time I need.”
“Maybe there’s hope for him yet.” Sidney winked. “But we’re not going to talk about the men in our lives. Let’s dance our butts off and have fun.”
Ruby frowned. “Who are the other tickets for?”
“Regan Thorne and her friend Gwen. Regan volunteered to drive,, so she’ll pick us up around eight.”
Regan Thorne. The girl Wyatt Blackwell was head over heels for.
“It’s just us girls?” she asked.
Sidney nodded. “Regan said it was just girls.”
“I don’t know,” she murmured. The Coach House wasn’t really her thing anymore.
“Ruby, you need to forget about everything and come out with us and have some fun. You’re way too uptight, and, honestly, you need to let your hair down and embrace the woman you used to be. The girl who could dance all night and go to work with no sleep.”
“We did used to get crazy, didn’t we?”
“Yeah.” Sidney leaned forward. “So you’re in?”
She found herself nodding. “Why not.”
Okay. This was good. Travis could wait until she had her head screwed on and her stuff figured out. Until she knew for sure he wasn’t the pothole but the helping hand. If she saw him tonight, it would only muddy the waters, because things would happen. Dark and
sinful things. The kind of things that led to more complications. It wasn’t as if she needed another night of hot, passionate sex. Not really.
But she sure as hell wanted it.
Chapter 19
As the youngest of three boys growing up in a home with only a token mother figure for most of his teenage years, Travis Blackwell had been fed a steady diet of testosterone. It was in the milk he used to wrangle from Wyatt’s death grip or the last piece of steak he’d wrestle Hudson for. It was his father looking the other way when one of his brothers gave him a wedgie or pantsed him as he was about to get on the school bus.
His hockey brothers were no different. They took pleasure in making their fellow teammates do questionable things only men would do, because women were a hell of a lot smarter. No woman Travis knew would attempt to walk across a parking lot buck naked, with Oreo cookies clenched between her butt cheeks. Or use a razor blade in places no razor blade had any business being near. Sure, it was dumb, but it was all part of a brotherhood, and it was a brotherhood he called family. He’s was a guy’s guy, and that was that.
In the off-season, he loved nothing more than hunting and fishing with his pals. Golf vacations in Scotland. Weekends in Vegas or diving in Belize. He could afford all the toys and hung with an elite crowd of men who had a lot of disposable income and no family ties. They were single, rich athletes, and the world was theirs for the taking. Women were the icing on the proverbial cake, and unless you had a real sweet tooth, there was no issue. Women were background noise. You could hit mute and make them go away.
So why was it on a beautiful night in July, five men in a boat didn’t cut it? Hell, even Zach hadn’t brought his game. They weren’t laughing and telling off-color jokes. In fact, Hudson, Wyatt, and Brad spent most of the time discussing the finer points of microbreweries. Travis didn’t give a flying crap about microbreweries. Beer was beer. At least in his books. That wasn’t the worst of it. They’d even discussed going on a wine tour along the Niagara escarpment. What guy did wine tours on a Sunday afternoon? On a bus?
This night wasn’t what he’d envisioned. He’d wanted to forget about a certain dilemma waiting for him back in Crystal Lake. A five-foot-six dilemma that wasn’t going away no matter how hard he tried not to think about it.
The plan was to night fish for trout. The spot was a beauty, and the temperature was perfect. It wasn’t stinking hot, but it wasn’t cool either. There were no bugs, and the water was calm. It was the kind of summertime in Michigan he missed. And yet…
All he could think about was Ruby. She’d asked him to give her some space, and he was willing to do that. She deserved some time to think about what had happened between them. Lord knows it had kept him up the last few nights. And, like a dummy, he thought it would be easy. Like a dummy, he’d thought the guys would take his mind off things. Travis scowled as he watched Brad and Hudson. His crew had failed miserably.
He reached for his phone and stopped himself. How many times had he checked his cell phone today? Looking for a simple text. Maybe a voice mail. A small crumb to tide him over until he could lick her fingers and enjoy the whole cake. If Ruby didn’t call him tomorrow, he was going to lose his shit. In the meantime, he was stuck on the water with these knuckleheads.
Christ, now they were discussing couples massages. He groaned. What. The. Hell. Travis decided to zone out. He didn’t care whether Brad and Gwen got pedicures together either. He sat back, his thoughts jumbled, and was just getting comfortable when his brother kneed him.
“Anyone want to head back early?” Hudson asked the question, and Travis looked at him in surprise.
“It’s not even midnight.” Travis glanced at his brother Wyatt, who shrugged. What the hell?
“Sounds good to me.” Zach was already packing up his gear. “You mind dropping me off at the Coach House?”
Travis could only think of one reason Zach would want to go to the Coach House tonight. Too bad his buddy couldn’t see that Honey had no interest at all. She was too busy giving Nash the stink-eye to even look at another man. That woman was prickly as hell, and the chip on her shoulders was bigger than the damn lake.
Hudson nodded. “Sure.”
“I’m down for that,” Wyatt said. “Regan’s there.”
“So is Gwen. I’ll tag along if you don’t mind.” The three men looked at Travis expectantly. “You coming?”
He found himself shaking his head. “Nah. If we’re done fishing, then I’m done for the night. I’ll head home.”
“Don’t wait up for me.” Zach chuckled.
“What’s her story anyway?” Hudson asked as he waited for everyone to reel in. At Travis’s questionable look, he said, “Honey.”
Travis shrugged. “You’d have to ask Nash that one.”
“I have.”
“And?”
Hudson started the motor. “All he says is that she’s a pain in the ass.”
Zach slapped Hudson on the shoulder. “She can be a pain in my ass any day.”
“Good luck with that,” Travis said wryly. “I have a feeling any man she lays claim to will have his hands full.”
Wyatt sat down beside him as the boat headed toward shore. “Kind of like Ruby.”
“Kind of like Ruby,” Travis muttered to himself.
It was after midnight when Hudson pulled up to the cabin. The moon was partially hidden, and deep shadows fell across the small structure. They’d dropped off the boys at the Coach House, and Travis was the last stop.
“Looks like you got company.”
Travis followed his brother’s gaze, and his eyes widened in surprise. A woman sat on the front steps, or rather was slumped against the railing. It was dark, but the fact she was a blonde was unmistakeable. She didn’t move when he got out of the truck, or when he slammed the door shut behind him.
Travis gave his brother a wave and made his way over to the small porch Ruby Montgomery was currently using as a bed. She was asleep—that much was obvious—and once he got close enough to see her properly, he noticed a few things.
She was snoring softly, which meant she’d been drinking.
Her clothes were not the usual garb for the lady she’d become. They were more of a throwback. Formfitting jeans. Black heels. Tight black tank top. Visible pink bra underneath.
She still liked her lips deep red. Ruby red. God, those lips.
He didn’t take the time to wonder why she was here. He bent forward, his intent to taste and touch, but her eyes flew open and he froze. A lazy smile curved her lips, and she made a sound, that sound that got a guy thinking of things he maybe shouldn’t be.
“Trav,” she said, struggling to sit up. “Where were you?”
“Fishing.”
She gave him a peculiar look. “At night?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.” Silence fell between them. “Did you catch anything?”
“No.”
She licked her lips again—a nervous gesture—and slowly blinked. “I went dancing.” She hiccupped, and he tried to keep a straight face. She’d definitely had a few.
“You did?”
“With the girls. It got kind of crazy.”
“I bet.”
“Chance was there.”
That wiped the smile from his face. “Was he now.”
She nodded. “Yep. He was there. He told me he loved me and says I should forgive him for what he did at the tournament. Says it was a dumb move.” She leaned back and sighed. “And it was. It really was. I mean, who would set up his girlfriend with her ex-husband?” Her eyebrows rose, and she blew out a long breath.
Travis didn’t say a word, in part because he wanted to put his fist through the wall. But mostly because he didn’t know what to say. She looked up at him, eyes big and misty.
“He asked me to dance.” She waited, but again, he had nothing. “And I was going to…”
A muscle worked its way along his jaw, and he managed to unclamp his teeth long enough to speak. “Why d
idn’t you?”
Ruby grabbed at the railing, swatting his hands away when he would have helped her. She stood over him, and he slowly straightened. She stood on the second step, so she was at eye level. That damn mouth of hers was slick and red, and he could see the tip of her tongue. A tongue that had nearly brought him to his knees only a few days earlier.
She held his gaze for so long, his neck tightened, and he slowly unclenched his hands. Her chest rose and fell, and that subtle flowery scent that was all hers drifted over him, covering him in a fine mist of Ruby.
“I came here instead,” she said, swaying slightly and grabbing on to his T-shirt. Her mouth was now so close, he didn’t have to move in order to claim it. “I wanted to dance with you instead.” She made a face. “But you weren’t here.”
“Sorry about that.”
“You should be.” Her eyes were on his mouth. “The cab didn’t wait for me.”
“We can launch a complaint against the company.”
“We can’t.” She shook her head and stumbled a bit. He didn’t mind; she was practically in his arms.
“Why’s that?”
“It’s old Mr. Stewart. He does it for extra money, and I got him out of bed when I called.” She looked over his shoulder. “I hope he made it home okay.”
“I’m sure he did.”
“You think so?”
“Yes.”
“I suppose you’re right. He’s been driving for like, one hundred years or something.” Her forehead furrowed, as if she were thinking hard. “They played this song. I want to dance,” she said abruptly, walking ahead of him and waiting at his door. Her eyes were half-closed. “I just want to dance.”
“Okay. We can do that.” Travis unlocked the cabin door and led her inside. The air was thick. He was hot as hell. And he wasn’t entirely sure what was happening. The only thing he was sure about was that Ruby had had too much to drink.
He would have turned on a light, but she stopped him. “No. I like it like this.”
She fumbled in the back pockets of her jeans and pulled out her cell phone. He watched as she chewed on her bottom lip and swayed a bit, her fingers scrolling through the device until she found what she wanted. She set the phone down on the small table next to sofa, and a bluesy song about Tennessee whiskey filled the room.